- The look of fucking horror on their face told me that I had actually
made a serious mistake. Yeah, dude! My first tattoo I got when I was 16, it was a little flower on my hip. The first one I got that was super dumb on purpose was "I love to bone," and this one that I've always loved, 'I Have A Small Weiner.' Took me three days to
realize that's misspelled. I've actually go three
different dick tattoos, the flying one, this 'Prison Love,' and then, of course, the dick-a-graph. God, I need to shave. Dude, there's so many! Santa on the cross, Satan fish, Alfred E. Neuman Misfits skull, Grindr app logo, oh,
and my fat chick tattoo, plus, my Bloods and Crips tattoo. I thought this was the one
that was gonna get me killed. Oh, and here's my off road tattoo from the first Jackass movie. This, I carved in with a butcher knife on the Howard Stern Show. This one is the logo of a bar I used to hang out in
Albuquerque, New Mexico. I think I've actually met hundreds of people who got 'Your Name' tattooed. Here's my BB gun tattoo. (BB gun shot) (painful yelling) I have more dumb tattoos
than I can even remember. We were in Thailand, and we went to go get the same tattoo as Angelina Jolie from the same holy man. This old dude just had this long skewer, and he was just poking
me with it like that, and then when we left his spot, everybody in the van starts cracking up over how it would be way funnier to get Angelina's 'Billy Bob' tattoo from when she was married
to Billy Bob Thornton. So, I took care of that right here. Then there was this one
time I was in France, and I showed up at the
radio station, and the guy was like, I am the famous Caway, and I brought a tattoo artist for you to get my initial, the letter C, and I was like, I don't give a
fuck about your initial, but I do really need a marijuana leaf. So, I get 'em both,
and I got this pot leaf with the letter C, but then I thought, why did I do that? And I angrily burned the
letter C off with cigarettes, and then I ended up
getting sober after that, and I turned the marijuana leaf into a palm tree, and then I got really into surfing, and I added
me catchin' a bitchin' wave. Ironically, the one tattoo that I got lasered off fully, was
my favorite of them all. It was 'Shit' and 'Fuck' on my knuckles. Then, of course, there's myself on my back which is only one of three
self portraits I have because here I am as a baby, and here I am as a cartoon, and I
never liked that one, just so you know. Now, everything up to this point, even the ones that I got covered up or removed, as dumb as they were, were not that big of a deal, but this next one was so over the line. Okay, it was 2006, and I was getting drunk with my buddies, and
we're talking about how we never wanted to have kids, or at least, I felt really strongly about it. So, I said, okay, I'll get a tattoo of a baby with a circle and a slash going through it like a no babies sign, and we thought that was kind of funny, but we kept drinking, and then I was like oh, no, no, no,
no, I'll get 'Fuck Babies,' but then I thought, nah, I don't wanna make people read more words. I've already got so many words, and then I ended up going with an image of a guy fucking a baby. When I got that tattoo, I knew that I was crossing the line, and that was the whole reason that I got it. This was my crazy stunt that I was doing, but as soon as I stepped foot outside of that tattoo parlor, this couple was walking down and I'm like, they're excited to see me, and I'm gonna show 'em. Check out my new tattoo, and they saw it and the look of fucking horror on their face told me that I had actually made a serious mistake, and we were filming Jackass
Number Two at that time, and I kept a bandana tied
around my arm to cover it up. As soon as I got back from India, I went to a tattoo parlor, and I drilled over it myself, turning
the baby into a black blob. Then, I showed my buddy,
Bam Margera the coverup, and he says, you should turn that blob into an ostrich, and so we did. I got Bam to draw the ostrich, and Kat Von D tattooed it, and I thought this was like problem solved. Problem solved. (laughing) And I didn't even really think about it until I made a bit about it in my standup which is on my first comedy special, Steve-O: Guilty as Charged. When you're coverup tattoo is a guy fucking an ostrich... (laughing) That's when you know you started off with something pretty rotten. And then a little less than two years ago, totally by accident, I burnt
half the fuckin' thing off by doing this stunt
with rocket engine fuel where I laid down in it,
and my buddies lit it, and I needed skin grafts
on 15 percent of my body which is intense, and the footage will be released at some point. So, now what I wanna do is get something added in here that's funny,
and that I feel good about. My idea is to have this
dude and this ostrich innocently riding a motorcycle together, but if you guys can
come up with a funnier, better idea, then put it
in the comments section, and maybe I'll get that. Thank you, everybody, for
watching these videos. I'm having a blast posting regularly, and make sure you subscribe,
smash that like button, boom! I can't believe I just said all that. Fuck it, alright, I'm done. (laughing)
