Usually I have to take something to see shit like this. What the hell are you guys doing? Preparing for the new law they're about to pass. What law? The one that will abolish crime. What law? Yet will spread chaos in its wake! What law?! It will ethically destroy what humanity stands for! WHAT LAW?! The law to split up Pinky and the Brain. That's not a law. It could be. No, it can't. It makes so much sense. It clearly doesn't. It just seems like the road America's going down. Its amazing how much it's not. And how would you know, Mr. Expert? Because it has nothing to do with crime. Crime is about breaking the law for your own personal gain, and this amazingly has nothing to do with that. It doesn't matter. We've set up security perimeters all around the studio just in case it causes world wide panic. I suspect it would cause world wide indifference. But haven't you seen "The Purge"? PUR-!! Fuck!
That dumbass movie everybody fell for?! Hey! If that could happen, then so could splitting up Pinky and the Brain! It's not fair, just as they're legalizing gay marriage. The Purge wouldn't happen. It never could happen, and that's why its so baffling it was such a success! Nostalgia Critic: With its sequel having come out and having it be number one again at the box office, Well...almost number one. "...damn dirty ape!" The Purge is one of those surprise hits
that literally nobody can identify with. The idea is the not-too-distant future has basically abolished crime because one night a year
they made crime legal. An interesting idea for a dark satire or maybe a clever comedy but no, the film plays it out like this could really happen And that we shouldn't let it happen because apparently we're too stupid to realize its a bad idea. Just look at how ridiculously
serious it takes its advertising. [Choir sings "America The Beautiful"] Yes. Nothing like a version of "O' Beautiful" being sung to blood gushing, innocent killing, homicidal psychotic slaughtering families. Now, if a gay or ethnic person sang it,
that'd be called for outrage. Hell, maybe America's more fucked up then we realized if we're dumb enough not only to take this shit seriously but also give it a squeal Lets see how this movie shows what the flying hell is wrong with us even if it does it in a way that wasn't intended. So let's not waste any time... Will you guys knock it off!? This is--,
[gun shot]
"The Purge." ["Duck Hunt" victory theme plays] We see the film opens in the year 2022. Yep, we only have 8 years
until this plan is put into place. We're so close America, it could happen any day! I think its more likely we'll be dressing like this in a few months then having the purge in a few years. Aw, yes, and just to give you a taste at how subtle
and non-pretentious this film's gonna be, here's a bunch of intense violence set to calming music. [soothing music plays] Because it's irony! They don't fit together!
But will the future know that? [dramatic crescendo] and just when you're wondering
how an intro could be any less subtle, one hell of a puzzle piece falls into your lap. Now it makes sense!
Suddenly, so many elements come together! I could just see good old Bay
getting high off his ass one night saying: "I wanna feel deep, but I don't want to have to
use my brain for it...Where's that Purge script?" The film opens with a home security salesman
named James, played by Ethan Hawke., driving home on the day of the Purge noticing quite an unrealistic amount of people still in their neighborhoods. James: "Getting one last walk in before lock down, huh?" Mr. Cali: "Yeah." James: "Did you do the system
check I recommended?" "Of course, no problems." Nostalgia Critic: Uh, if I knew crime was gonna be legal in 24 hours, I'd probably tell my family: Hey gang! How about that vacation to Canada? Just one of those friendly weekend visits to the
Ned Flanders of North America. Though, the more I think about it,
they may not be the safest either. "Its a rape whistle."
What the fuck? People put out flowers to show they support the Purge, others talk on the radio about what kind of crimes they're gonna do. Radio: "Pete from Northern Virginia,
what's your Purge plan?" Pete: "I'm gonna hunt down my boss.
That son of a bitch has it coming!" Nostalgia Critic: Well, hopefully Pete from Northern Virginia's boss doesn't listen to the radio, fucking idiot. And even guys in lab coats explain the
totally believable way the purge works. Scientist: "We are inherently a violent species." "Wars, genocide, murder,
the denial of our true selves is the problem." "The Purge not only contains societal
violence to a single evening, "But the country-wide catharsis creates psychological stability by letting us release
the aggression we all have inside of us." Nostalgia Critic: Oh, of course! Terrorists, drug dealers, embezzlers,
people with aggressive mental disorders, all they needed to do was just let out a little aggression. It was so simple the whole time! Good Lord, do you know how many
crime shows would have ended differently if we knew about THAT from the beginning? Walter White: "Alright, Gus. If I'm going to cook for you," "I need to know that you're going to kill everybody who would get in the way of distribution, especially yourself!" "Before turning to such a violent route,
have you ever considered hitting a pillow?" "A Pillow?" "Yes. You'll find it strangely...relaxing." "My God, you're right!" "My mental instability is suddenly leveling out!" "Now I don't need to make meth anymore!" "Maybe I'll open that puppy farm." "I'm glad to hear it." "Now, for God's sake...
please put on a pair of pants." "Not until you promise me a cameo in Better Call Saul!" Nostalgia Critic: So, James has a wife named Mary, played by Lena Headey, who spends most of her time fighting off jealous neighbors. Grace: "You know, not everyone
had the year you did, Mary." "You know, some people are actually saying 'this neighborhood paid for that new addition on your home'." "Are people really saying that?" "Relax, it's just good old neighborhood
gossip, nothing to worry about." Nostalgia Critic: "I might be passive aggressive,
but tonight I'll be AGGRESSIVE aggressive." Grace: "Ty!" Mr. Halverson: "Ooh, cookies! I hope you're hungry. Those cookies are crazy good." [chuckling] "They're lovely. Have a safe night, ladies." "Bye."
-"Goodbye." Nostalgia Critic: "Well, we established ourselves.
Can't wait to show up obviously just for the climax!" Woven like a quilt. And even before the Purge, a little bit of
creeping seems to be going around. [ominous music plays] [gasps] "Christ..." "You scared me to death." Nostalgia Critic: Yeah, you really got me there, movie. For a second, I swore a tiny tiny
tiny tiny person was going to kill her. Good fake out. This device was made by their son, Charlie,
who seems to enjoy monitoring his heart rate. "I'm sorry, I forgot to take my vitals earlier. By the way, there's a slight deviation in my heart rate," "But uh, other than that, nothing to worry about." Nostalgia Critic: It's never explained why
and never comes back into the movie later, it's just something he kind of likes to do. Quirks, replacing character identity
since the beginning of this movie. They also have a daughter named Zoey, Who's moody because her dad does
not approve of her 18-year-old boyfriend. Charlie: "In English, I wrote a story
about a man whose love is so powerful," -"cuts out his own heart" Zoey: "You know, he should have cut off his own penis." "Z-Zoey!"
"Eating dinner! No penises!" "Yeah, come on!" "And Charlie, don't encourage her!" Nostalgia Critic: "Kids, do I have to savagely
mutilate you during the Purge?" Nostalgia Critic: "I'm guessing this world just
thinks we're all good parents for some reason," "But I can totally do that!" [glass clinking] "Guys, look what time it is." "Oh, wow, it's later than I thought.
Alright, it's time for lockdown." Nostalgia Critic: WOW! Can't believe
we almost missed THAT little detail! Oh, what, the Purge is starting?
Pfft! What-evs! It's not like we're missing an episode of "Chasing Life". Hell, the movie starts by saying
it's an hour until the Purge begins. That means they have to drive home, talk
to neighbors, start dinner, set the table, eat dinner, And prepare the security system during arguably
the fastest sunset the town's ever known. Call me crazy, but I wouldn't leave so
little time in between mental stability and when death becomes the new selfie! I mean, I know the rest of the world relies on the "Honor System" by not committing crimes the rest of the year, But somebody could start early,
catching you off your guard and then leave the country
while the cops are shut down. Or do they "respect the Purge"
too much to break the law? [alarm blaring] Automated Voice: "This is not a test.
Weapons of Class 4 and lower have been
authorized for use during the Purge." "Police, Fire and Emergency Medical Services will be unavailable until tomorrow morning at 7 a.m." "Blessed be our New Founding Fathers
and America, a nation reborn." Nostalgia Critic: [scoffs] The New Founding Fathers. I'm sure the speeches these "New Founding Fathers" gave fit in just as well as the other great leaders of the past. Franklin D. Roosevelt
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." John F. Kennedy
"Ask not what your country can do for you,
ask what you can do for your country!" "Just kill some people." [applause] "Right? Right?" "It's a good idea, right?" And just like before, the film praises the effectiveness
of the Purge but never addresses mental illness, territory disputes, drug possession, or anything
that doesn't fall under mere pent up rage. They just say "it works". TV: "-eradication of these so-called
non-contributing members of society." "This night saved our country." TV: "Crime is down, the economy is flourishing." "Because it works." TV: "The undeniable fact is, this is working." That's right, the Purge works. Just like how somebody can take 65 million dollars
and apparently make a film like Food Fight. Don't question how illogical it is, it just works! One of the other phrases they seem to repeat
a lot in this movie is "release the beast." Radio: "-release the beast--," TV: "Release the beast--,"
-"Release the beast, boys, let the killing commence!" Nostalgia Critic: Quite a terrifying
combination of words, right? Ooh! I think I saw that in a Jägermeister ad once! Stranger: "Help me! Someone, please!" They see a homeless guy trying to
hide from some violent kids by... "Can anybody hear me!?" Screaming at the top of his lungs, that'll work. As the son decides to let him in. James: "What the hell?" Nostalgia Critic: Yep, the little kid opens the door. It's not like the top seller of the security system
would actually be around his security system. Buddy, all that high-tech gadgetry doesn't do much
if you give in to it's one simple design flaw. "The door..." "must be closed!" [audience laughing] To make things worse, Zoey's boyfriend snuck in before the lockdown and tells her that he wants to just talk to her dad about allowing him to date her. Boyfriend: "Mr. Sandin..." Mary: "James, he has a gun! Henry has a gun!" [loud banging] Mary: "Oh my God!" Zoey: [screams] "Henry!" Zoey: [cries] "Henry! Henry!" Nostalgia Critic: "I still believe the Purge works, Honey!" "Henry!" Nostalgia Critic: "Talk went well...
Hit a few bumps but I think we can get past that." "Henry..." The boyfriend gets killed, but lo and behold, a group of young people approach the door, who were chasing the homeless man down. [doorbell rings] Nostalgia Critic: "Dick or Treat!" Now, to this movie's credit, just when
you think it's taking itself too seriously, A saving grace simply known as Henry enters the film. And, by god, he either takes absolutely none of this seriously or every single molecule of breath he takes on the set seriously. Either way, he is by far the most entertaining
part of the film. Just watch this goof! "We are some fine, young, very educated guys and gals ready to violate...annihilate and cleanse our souls." [laughs] Nostalgia Critic: He's got more ham
than a Dr. Seuss book! "Mr. and Mrs., the man you are sheltering
is nothing but a dirty homeless pig." Henry: "A grotesque menace to our just society
you have the audacity to fight back." "Please, just let us purge." [laughs] Nostalgia Critic: He's not gonna release the beast,
he's gonna release the squee! Henry: "If you don't deliver him by the aforementioned time, we'll release the beast on him..." "...And on you." "I just farted and it's gonna smell really bad." [snorting] "We can enter any home we want and we will want
as wanting is our will on this fine night." "What tha' hell does that mean?" "You have until our provisions arrive, provisions which will help us break into your elegant home." "Toodle-loo, Sandins." Nostalgia Critic: "Well...now we know what Macaulay Culkin does to every family who watches Richie Rich." So the kids give them and hour before they try
breaking in to have them hand the man over. This results in the "suspenseful" part of the movie where the go through the house
with the power cut by the masked kids, which would make it hard to find the guy, wouldn't it? They're obviously not gonna call the cops! And I'm not kidding,
the search goes on for fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes of them just searching through the dark and us practically looking at nothing. I don't even know who I'm supposed to be scared for. The family, of course, are the main characters and they're chasing an injured man crying for help. Where the hell am I supposed to be afraid? All the while, the children of the corny are taunting them, I guess, by doing non-scary things that are supposed
to be scary because they have masks on. [foreboding music plays] Nostalgia Critic: "Well, we've tried skipping and we've tried prancing, best continue to do a full on do-si-do!" Henry: "Dear, Mr. Sandin! --by your front door,
I just need a moment to check ." Nostalgia Critic: But thankfully in the middle of their searching, we get yet another scene from dear young Henry. "Tell me, why having you delivered
the filthy swine to me yet?" "Are you protecting him?
I certainly hope not, Mr. Sandin." James: "No, of course not." I'm sorry! I'm really trying,
I'm trying so hard to be scared by this kid, But, he's just so fucking hilarious! He's just projecting so much that he wants to be scary that it's actually kind of adorable. I just want to pinch his little
supposed-to-be-frightening cheeks! "GIVE US THE HOMELESS PIG YOU FUCK!" [gunshot] Henry: "Sorry about that.
I don't condone that kind of behavior." "He and that...will be thee." Nostalgia Critic: Yeah, come on! You can trust a face like that on a night where all crime is supposed to be legal. How can this go awry? James: "I'll go get him." "You should do that." Nostalgia Critic: Why are they even blowing
all their time on this one damn house? They have one night out of the year to do whatever the hell they want and yet they spend it like 5th graders who just found out that they have cameras on their phones! What person would spend so much time
to get into a person's house for such a weak reason? Malcom: Uh, Critic.
You might wanna take a look at this. [suspenseful music plays] Film Brain? Hello, Mr. Critic.
I heard you were reviewing the Purge. Yeah, what about it? You are aware that I reviewed the film
on my projector series and... I was rather surprised that you didn't
ask me to do a crossover with you. I just did a crossover Film Brain,
if I did another one, it'd be too repetitive. Mr. Critic, the film that you are
watching is a dirty, brainless pile. A film that has to audacity to exist in our culture film-going society and it deserves to be eradicated. Brutally...painfully...cripplingly. Geez, he really wanted to review this with me. (whispers) This is what happens when you
try to split up Pinky and the Brain. Will you shut up! Mr. Critic, I just want to splurge as I am so entitled.
Oh, please let me splurge! Film Brain, I'm sorry.
I can't do two in a row. Maybe another review in the future? Oh, I understand, of course. But the ten tons of dynamite I laid around you office...
Does not. [gasps loudly] I thought this place smelled dynomitey! Film Brain, what the hell!? That's right! I'm bonkers now
and if you don't do a crossover with me I'm gonna decimate your asses
sky high with my mobile phone! [giggling maniacally] Malcolm: Your cellphone's the detonator? Oh, yeah. There's an app for that now. And I must be allowed to
comment on this film's cheesiness. Just allow me to unleash to cheese! Alright, alright, Film Brain.
Just give me time to write something up. How long, Mr. Critic? Commercial Break maybe? Very well, but do not disappoint me. Anything else? No, I'm just allowing my scary performance to sink in. [sighs] Fine. Toodle-loo, Critic. [loud thud] Malcolm: You have to do a crossover. I can't! It'd be too redundant! You'd risk your own life for that? [sighs] Trust me, I have an issue about being a redundant. Casper: TIMING! What are we gonna do then? [foreboding music plays] Is he doing anything? Not really.
He's kind of skipping and prancing about. Tamara: I think he's too distracted
about how evil he's trying to be. Good, I'm going to keep reviewing
while you guys think of a plan. Right. (whispers) First, we don't tell him about
the splitting up of Pinky and the Brain. THEY'RE NOT SPLITTING UP! They do eventually catch the guy, but something convinces them not to hand him over, and I use the word "something" because I literally have no idea what it is that convinces them not to do it. The daughter says "nothing will be the same," hell, even the guy offers to hand
himself over to end all the trouble. "Save your children.
Take me outside." And yet, for some reason, they decide to renege. I'm not saying that what they're doing isn't the right thing, I'm just saying their explanation of how
they came to that conclusion is about as solid as "Because it works." Logic, blaaaaghh!
It just works. The teens are done waiting
and decide it's time to start breaking in. "You failed to deliver the homeless swine!" "The piece of filth that you are protecting
exists only to serve our need to purge!" [blowing raspberries] "So, I bid thee farewell, sweet Sandins." [cocks gun] Can we just give this guy his own reality show? Like, survive a conversation without
squirting milk through your nose? Or no! A Saturday morning show! A Saturday morning show where
Henry reads to children! Please, God, somebody make that happen! Coming to ABC Family:
Reading With Henry. "Hello, children. Let's look at
Baby's First Mythos" "'C' is for Cthulhu who sits in his palace in R'lyeh." "One sight of whom will leave most of us..." "Gibbering..." "Drooling..." "and screaming." "Just let us Purge..." Coming this Fall to ABC Family. Nostalgia Critic: So they break
down the high-tech security system... ...which was amazingly easy to do. How the f*ck do these guys stay in business!? And the teens come in for the search. [foreboding music] Nostalgia Critic: "It's scary because they're taking something dark and evil and making it innocent and fun." Nostalgia Critic: "We had to run that in slow-mo just to make sure it wasn't too subtle." Nostalgia Critic: "But just to make sure it isn't',
let's play this over it too!" [choir singing America the Beautiful] "Cooper, come look for the remaining Sandin." Nostalgia Critic: "Cooper, did you check under the bed? That would be the most obvious hiding spot." "Nah, I gotta find more security
cameras to skip in front of." [gunshots firing] Yeah, even though the Purge has been going on for several years apparently, nobody ever thought to maybe put on body armor during it! But hey, what's the point? The Purge just works. [glass shattering] [gunfire and yelling] Nostalgia Critic: "Yay! I suck!" [gun clicks] [gunshot bang] Nostalgia Critic: "That's so
they don't come back as zombies." But just when he thinks he's gotten out okay... Oh, Henry. Okay, this character hasn't let me down yet, let's see how many traditional movie psychopath
clichés we can fit into 30 seconds. Can we have the comforting killer? Henry: "Shh...Shh...it's okay." The whimpering lip over the beauty of his actions? How about the thankful gratitude
for giving him such an experience? Henry: "Thank you for this
unforgettable purge, Mr. Sandin." There better be a loving kiss in there! And top it all off with the
straightening of his suit and hair, proving his look is far more
important than the life of another. That's five! Five psychotic movie clichés in under 30 seconds! Oh, my God, Henry!
Never ever die! [loud gunshots] NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! You killed the only enjoyable character in the film... He was filled with more ham than Ponyo! Great, now who's gonna drill our incredibly
forced message into the ground!? Oh, great, the characters who only existed
so you would know who they are in the climax. Again, like a quilt. Grace: "The truth is, you're ours, not theirs." [gun clicks] "James is dead, Mary and the kids will have to do." "Let's tie them up, we'll kill them right here." Mary: "No, no, no, no, no, no...!" "When your barricades came down, we saw an opportunity to cleanse ourselves of our hatred." Yep, because that's how killers talk, everybody. "I'm sorry I gotta kill you, but the cleansing of my mortal coil has to be addressed if I'm to be ethically absolved." "...what?" [loud gunshot bang] Grace: "You made so much money off of us
and then you just stuck it in our faces!" "You all think you're so damn perfect!" Nostalgia Critic: "That, and you're cookies are awful! Now, we're going to kill you and both of your daughters!" Neighbors: "Blessed be the New Founding Fathers
for letting us purge." So...this world is like Bioshock Infinite? Except with none of the cool stuff
and double the hypocrisy? [gunshots bangs] But the homeless man comes in to save the day. Stranger: "Your call."
Grace: "Just get it over with. Kill us quickly." "Oh, for god's sake! Just do it!" "Come on!" "The movie's almost over and Henry
was the only entertaining thing anyway!" "We are gonna to play the rest of this night
out in motherf*cking peace." So, as you heard, she forces everybody
to sit politely until the Purge is over. Nostalgia Critic: "Bitch!
A Lannister always pays her debts!" "Didn't you hear what I said?!
No more killing tonight!" [Purge siren wailing] "No get the hell out of my house." "See ya at the neighborhood barbecue!" Thus, they all go home and life goes on as
[gasp] NORMAL?? Radio: "Just after 7 a.m., March 22nd,
the annual Purge has just concluded." "Our new Founding Fathers have just
released an early statement saying: "This was the most successful purge yet." "But wait a minute, it wasn't successful..." WAS IT?? [comical singing] From sea to shining... Shut the f*ck up! This is one of the most pretentious
ideas I've ever seen in my entire life! I mean, who would actually be
inspired by such a ludicrous idea? Tamara: Uh, Critic. Film Brain says
he's done scarily frolicking. Film Brain: Time's up, Mr. Critic. Where's my review? [sighs] Well, I kind of just finished it up, Film Brain. What? YOU FAILED! No, no, no, no, no! I just want you to uh...
finish it off with the closing thoughts. Really?
What would you have me say? Well... The point of this movie is to prove one thing:
That the Purge is bad. Well, since we already know that and not in a million years would we ever let something like this happen It's a pretty f*cking pointless message. Maybe if it was a dark comedy,
an exploitation film or balls to the wall satire. But it explains nothing about how
this idea could work except that "it works." Most of it is just showing people sneaking around the house like it's trying to be a gritty real life situation but since we know the logic is bullshit,
there's no way to identify with it. The only bit of fun is that Henry character. He at least does something totally
batshit crazy and memorable. But for everything else, it's just a pretentious wannabe protest film that has nothing to protest. It's like that kid who wants attention in your writing class so he writes what he thinks is ground-breaking commentary when really it's just someone complaining about how there's nothing to complain about. It's a stupid ridiculous mess. Well, yeah, I can say that and-- Wait a minute, you already said that! Oh, yeah. Oops. Film Brain: So I bid thee farewell, Critic.
Unleash the cheese! NOOOOOOOO!!!! Oh, bloody hell! Come on! Yes, I am going to file a complaint later! Alright, fine. Okay, okay let's do this...
Kick the door down. [loud thud] [shuffling] [loud banging] I'm starting to wonder why
we were ever afraid of this guy. [yelling and banging] [dull thud] Nostalgia Critic: Look, Film Brain, this is already
in my top ten most awkward life moments, what do you say we call it quits for the night, huh? Oh, hey look! The safety was on! [click] Aaah! [laughs evilly] From hell's heart, I push a button and I blow thee up! At least Pinky and the Brain are still together. Pinky and the Brain are not splitting up! Pinky and the Brain are splitting up? Yeah, yeah, pretty devastating news, huh? Oh, my god! I love Pinky and the Brain! Yes, yes, we're all traumatized by it so much so that I bet you just want to go home, lie in bed and gorge on Turkish delight, don't you? Yeah...I-I-I think I do that... Film Brain: [crying] Why is it celebrity
couples never stay together?? We have got to stop that crazy
crumpet from ever coming back here. But how? Once he figures out the truth,
he'll just come back and finish what he started. Tamara, are you familiar with the phrase,
self-fulfilling prophecy? [gasps] "Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?" "I think so, Brain, but how can you have a
Duck Dynasty if none of the people are ducks?" "G**dammit, Pinky, can't you get
at least one f*cking thing right!?" Pinky: "Whuh...?" "No, no, cut the music! Cut the music!" "I have put up with this bullshit for too long." Pinky: "Bullshit?"
Brain: "You are the syphilis to everything I've worked so hard for!" "You miserable poisonous sack of disease!" "But Brain..." "Shut it, bitch!" Pinky: [gasps loudly] "I could have had the world years ago
if you didn't keep f*cking it up!" Pinky: "Oh, dear...I--" "Do me a favor and just...
just die! Just die for the sake of all humanity!" Pinky: [sobs] "Oh, Brain!" Brain: "Oh, yes. That's right. Cry." "Oh, that's all you're good for, isn't it? You little shit!" Pinky: [cries louder] Maurice LaMarche: Wait, wait, wait a second, Rob. Rob Paulsen: What? Are you sure this is for a kids show? It-just say it, people have wanted to hear this for years. Oh, really? Yeah, okay.
-Alright. Brain: "You are pestilence!"
Pinky: [sobs loudly] Brain: "That's right! You're the pestilence of life!" "I don't usually believe in homicide, but if I can go back in time to the moment of your conception," Pinky: [loud sobbing] [Nostalgia Critic Theme] [angelic choir singing] Who knew? "Because it works."
