Demolition Man - Nostalgia Critic

go hello I'm the Nostalgia Critic guy remember it so you don't have to action films have come a long way haven't they I mean on top of their being continuing storylines great visuals and interesting ideas we broke in quite a few stereotypes as well today women can be tough and developed leading to more interesting characters and men can be emotional and deep also leading to more interesting characters this is the direct opposite to the ' 80s and 90s where they mainly just focused on one thing being a male red me punching boobs for my dick on an explosion with Sam it's mustache ma we never talked about ideas or expressing our emotions we were Mays and we knew who the other Mayes were swartzenegger May for man Weaver yeah okay man vanam van man Z wait no he was never really cool but Willis M man we were so blood hungry for not feeling or thinking anything that our hero for a while was an emotionless Ro robot who did nothing but kill people Michael B wishes he could be as [ __ ] up as we were but every once in a while a smart film would sneak in under the radar disguised as a dumb dick flick so your friends would be like Devil B hey you want to see a film about a man's emotional struggle to hold on to his Humanity what RoboCop oh yeah I love RoboCop you want to see if a person's identity is based on his environment or his inner soul huh Total Recall oh yes BR I love that [ __ ] you want to seee toone mayor Snipes mayor gun mayor Battle of politically corrector Willian Universe where they sing I'm an Oscar Wier absolutely none of that goes together Demolition Man yep Demolition Man wasn't a huge hit with critics or the box office but it did leave a lasting impact with people many still talk about it because well they have no idea what to clarify it as is it a comedy is it an action film is it smart commentary is it dumb violence even today people had trouble clarifying whether or not this is actually a good flick movies that break the mole yet somehow also stay bound to it intrigue me so is it just Mindless action or a clever satire of a future that could possibly still happen let's take a look and decide for ourselves this is demolition Mar yep I remember when 1996 looked like that California was on fire crime was everywhere celebrities were fighting each other while dressed like jackasses actually what am I talking about this was La in 1996 the maniac hijacked a municipal bus with 30 passengers on it and I got a real bad hunch where those passengers are that Maniac is delone plays a rogue cop named John Spartan going after Wesley Snipes playing a criminal named Simon Phoenix or as delone likes to say Phoenix phix Snipes is a million flavors of fun in this movie too just imagine Ronald McDonald and Beetlejuice sponsored a human Happy Meal toy where are the passengers [ __ ] you where are they Phoenix I swear I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached I'll keep that in mind believe it or not this actually made movie goers feel smart in the day like they were clever enough to pick up on that incredibly subtle foreshadowing it's kind of like showing Bambi's mom taking out life insurance it's not as subtle as you think delone somehow survives that even though we never see him exit maybe there was a Coke machine in the building when it's discovered that all the hostages he was supposed to save our dead bodies everywhere there must be 20 or 30 you see that Captain I told him he said he didn't care oh my God how could you sacrifice all those innocent people this also somehow lands him a life sentence Frozen in stasis now how the [ __ ] is that possible the court will now listen to the prosecution from an obviously lying psychopath hey I told him about the hostages he said he didn't care a compelling case with a lot of Hard Evidence now the defendant has put in years of loyal service taking down hundreds of criminals how do you plead you fly yeah I think the world would be better off without the both of you freeze them I love you I was frozen he's put on Ice until years later where the Future Has practically obliterated crime presumably because of one night where all crime becomes legal hey don't question it it just works this brings us to Lieutenant Huxley played by Bullock who is not in between Mis Congeniality and the heat so she's allowed to actually be funny here which is more than I can say for others greetings and salutations welcome to the emergency line of the San Angeles Police Department which movie would you like me to ruin for you but we find this future comes with a price anything bad for you is illegal smoking high cholesterol un educational toys um eyebrows even swearing gets you a five sanctimony [ __ ] hugley you find one half credit you [ __ ] that's nothing to cut down a mice wearing I put electric shocks on my balls I can't even say ball Jesus it really works even though Huxley likes this world fine she does long for the days of action as you can see having surrounded herself in 20th century Nostalgia loser what I wouldn't give for some action but action is around the corner when Phoenix is woken up for his parole hearing Mr Simon Phoenix one of our first and most illustrious members you will steal me an everlasting Garb stoer the Phoenix escapes using the warden's eye to sneak out he disguises himself as Dennis robman the Menace when the police finally track him down demand Maniac lie down with hands behind back lie down with your hands behind your back yeah this is what every minority Wishes the lap was like we're police officers we're not trying to handle this kind of violence the police are scared shitless not knowing how to handle him and he ends up escaping of course they figure out the only way to catch a maniac is to send in a maniac so they unfreeze the loone to go after him seeing how his past work precedes him are you sure this is real life how can you justify destroying a $7 million mini mall to rescue a girl whose Ransom was only $25,000 [ __ ] you lady I have no joke for that it's just everybody deserves to to hear that line they set him up against a cheese grater and let him know the situation the year's 2032 life what happened to my life her light was extinguished in the big one of 2010 oh yes we all remember the big disaster of that year we didn't thaw you out for a family reunion consider it fortunate the lieutenant even bothered to do a probe on your wife uh I think that's the wrong Stallone movie cigarette any cigarette uh smoking is not good for you and has been deemed that anything not good for you is bad hence illegal alcohol caffeine contact sports meat by God it's a future if it was run by MSNBC this is a cautionary tale from tea parters isn't it bad language chocolate gasoline uneducation toys and anything spicy oh yeah if anything bad for you is illegal then what's Rob Schneider doing in this movie not many people get a second chance John Spartan Stallone of course takes the job puts on the uniform and partakes in probably the strangest joke of the movie you're out of toilet paper did did you say toilet paper oh they used handfuls of wated paper back in the 20s I'm happy that you're happy but the place where you're supposed to have the toilet paper you got this little Shelf with three seashells on it he doesn't know how to use the three seashells and in case you're wondering no they never explain how to use the three seashells again like most of the film I can't tell if this is brilliant or stupid it's driven anyone who's seen the movie insane there's memes fan theories even years later at the premiere of Gravity one of the biggest groundbreakers of the past decade what's Sandra Bullock being questioned about it's absolutely nuts and I plan to get to the bottom of it Malcolm Tamra you summoned you will discover the secret behind the three seashells by the end of the review you will present your findings to me does that include yes you and the one who explains it best will not be placed in my spinal cord removal machine you have one of those no I have two one for each of you as soon as I bang my 3C shows gong your task will begin come on man you can't be serious May the odds ever be in your favor away with you any who he rejoins an old friend who so wise sagey and black that you're kind of wondering how the hell he never made it in a Stephen King film I remember when you were a snot No rookie pilot they finally grounded me [ __ ] you're a damn good FL they seem to be friends yet he speaks to him in the most profane manner well if you had read my study you would know that this is how insecure heterosexual males used to bond [ __ ] yeah I should really get rid of that Dr Farnsworth tells him that the only guns that can be found anymore are at a museum which is exactly where Phoenix ends up going to load up on the way there he listens to what are some typical catchy Tunes the number one request of the day armor hot dog chick hot my God a future where everyone is sensitive can't take a joke and is obsessed with the past it's a future run by Tumblr somebody put me back in the fridge what seems to be your Bogle my Bogle Christ I woke up in Canada actually I wonder if the next song on the radio was this don't you put it in your mouth don't you put it in your mouth don't you stop it in your face don't stop it in your face Stallone makes sure his weapon Works God what an [ __ ] does him and Phoenix get in a battle for who can make the most lame '90s action comebacks bad aim Blondie Simon Says blee I've been dreaming about killing you for 40 years but keep dreaming ah yes these are some pretty cliche combat it looks like Snipes has one of his sleeve time for something new and improved let's see it's Stone K you're up TV my God they're just Unstoppable you got to go for got to say Simon say that must have hurt and it appears knes has won this round but Stallone can always bring it back by simply shouting but the founder of this new world dressed as a White Castle Pope runs into the middle of it however Phoenix doesn't seem to be able to kill him that's because the founder has programmed his mind to go after another Target isn't that a thought repeating in that barbaric brain of yours the name friendly Mr Edgar friendly don't you have someone to kill but he didn't say would you kindly then go and do your jobis did he just say penis penis you hear it too you hear it too don't act like you don't did he just decide to play a sporadic version of the penis game penis penis penis penis penis penis pis so after quote saving his life the founder invites him to dinner please I insist I would like you to accompany me to Taco Bell a Mexican restaurant so popular it was rejected from Mexico twice look it up it's totally true There's Hope For Humanity you might be Wonder in why the hell was he invited to Taco Bell of all places well in one of the most painful of product placements until Adam Sandler became a movie star they give us this vague yet utterly forced excuse you do not realize that Taco Bell was the only restaurant to survive the franchise Wars so so now all restaurants are Taco Bell okay screw the seashells which I'm sure you'll need to bring a lot of going to Taco Bell but what on Earth were the franchise Wars was it like the Burger King and his Spartan cows against Colonel Sanders and his mutated chickens this movie needs a prequel but hey just when he thinks Stallone can plug anything else in this movie The schwarzen Neega Presidential Library wasn't he an actor when you stop he was President yes even though he was not born in this country his popularity at the time caused the 61st Amendment which states that I don't want to know that's right he had it made and then he had his maid and everything went downhill from there so at this Mexican restaurant where as stated before no spicy or salty food can be served so again like a typical Taco Bell our hero finds once again he has a hard time fitting in what would you say if I called you a brutish fossil symbolic of a decay era gratefully forgotten are you kidding it's Stone he hears that like twice a week call for backup I'll be across the street buddy notices a ton of dirty hungry drugged up people approaching the Taco Bell again some things never change please don't what the hell but he finds out this group lives underground because they don't agree with living in such a fascist world the last remaining criminal element in the city but plans are in progress to purge this Peril from our day you are even better live than on laser dis they could come back this roundhouse Hy look this isn't a while West okay hurting people's not a good thing well sometimes it is but not when it's a bunch of people looking for something to eat again no joke just good line so we see Phoenix goes underground to kill the leader of the rebels just so we can come right back up to say he needs help I'll need about five or six more special men the founder agrees to throw out some of his criminal Buddies to help while Huxley straight out asks our hero for quite a proposal I was wondering if you would like to have sex now mhm oh yeah time to let out the sexual Cry of the Stallone penis penis indeed but it's a little different in the future as the world partakes in what I can only describe as virtual boy sex that came out much worse than I intended as to that but you'll see what I'm talking about wow sexual interaction is done virtually without actually touching the person you're dating this really is a future run by Tumblr not even mouth transfers condoned what are you doing breaking the law you are a Savage creature John Spartan and I wish you to leave my domicile now she throws him out but it's okay as part of being a man movie we of course get some completely pointless nudity hi Martin you know I was thinking oh my God I'm sorry wrong number who was that woman why was it wor two second showing off her tits and ass M man Stallone uses his alone time to knit because after being turned down by a hot woman and seeing another one naked yeah that's what I would do but he figures out his new Talent is all part of his reprogramming when I thought out the first thing I wanted to do is knit for each inmate the computer draws up a skill or trade which Best Suits their genetic disposition oh a sress oh that's just great God I can just see all the Stallone memes now I was knitting before it was hipster can you get me Phoenix's rehab program now sure but he discovers that Phoenix has been implanted with all sorts of hacking and Martial Arts info that would make him an Unstoppable weapon so I guess the real question is why aren't the rest of the cops given these implants this isn't a proper rehabilitation program no kid this causes him to go to the underground set of Super Mario Brothers where he finally gets what he thinks is real food this is fantastic just don't ask where the meat comes from rat this is a rat Burg hey after having Taco Bell rat would taste like f Minon okay he comes across the leader of the rebels played by Dennis liry who explains quite clearly that if the surf surface world is tumbler than the underworld is for I guess you weren't part of the [ __ ] toe plan greed deception abuse of power that's no plan no that's just La again nothing much has really changed I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice I want high cholesterol I want to eat bacon and butter and buckets of cheese okay I've seen the food you know what it is it's a 47y old virgin sitting around in his Basse pajamas drinking a banana broccoli Shak thinking I'm an Oscar Meer we okay are you sure this isn't a metaphor for the internet but Phoenix and his new gang spot Our Heroes leaving him wide open to be shot in the oh for God's sakes they were right there how could you possibly miss them it's like how is that possible you better shout Phoenix to make me feel better it actually does they partake in Dukes of biohazard as bulock drives the car frantically while screaming at the top of her l what do I do before it became annoying no free rides seriously did you just set your gun to hit everything but Stallone Mr M could ain't better than you he escaped leaving Stallone to crash but he saved in probably the strangest way imaginable oh it's secure phone and it's saved your life okay that's not a safety device that's a power Mario would have turn any surface into foam oh and I'm so glad the gunshots wall slamming and doors flying don't set it off I think it's a little bit of a delay I'll have C BL to create the perfect Society my Society Phoenix finds he still can't kill the founder but like a [ __ ] he forgot to program that into the other criminals so he hands the gun over to a thug played by Jesse Ventura yeah I'm pretty sure that's how he got his other political job too he plans to th out all the criminals to cause chaos which means it's up to our two main Heroes to save the day our one main hero to save the day yep another Trope of the Marion movie is that the final battle always has to be mayoo yeah even though she's proven she's a pretty badass fighter and even saf Stone a couple of times my testicles must show I can handle this on my own so yeah let's let play a game called what Huxley could have done while Stallone gets his ass kicked the best of luck sir look at my eyes done I'll see you in hell night okay she couldn't not shout Phoenix that's the one thing only Stallone could do and even that it's kind of debatable Phoenix I'm going to make that my ringtone in a kind of ripoff of Terminator 2 Phoenix is covered in Frozen liquid resulting in Stallone what else knocking his block on I can just see the wheels turning in Stallone's head then give every witty line uh let's keep ahead don't lose your head Henry David th when said it's better to have your head in the clouds and know where you are than to breath the f Fu thus causing the big exploding science ball to go off resulting in of course the place being blown Sky High or at least a small corner of it really you open the movie with this and then you end it with this that took up a quarter of the screen you still have all that building to blow up it's like a domino set you never get to knock over next to a bomb what what we do how will we live when they tried to figure out what'll happen to the future of Portlandia still don't give some advice I'm going to tell you what you're going to do why don't you get a little dirty you a l clean and somewhere in the middle I don't know you'll figure it out wow not since his thrilling speech to the Russians in Rocky 4 has his diplomacy ever been so eloquent somewhere in the middle I don't know you'll figure it out thank you for rendering me unconscious Huxley I did it for your own good supposed to be a team Huxley is rightfully pissed that she was left out of the action but n this ought to shut her up ah my white nighing hero who I never asked to be my white knight this really is Tumblr so that was Demolition Man is it a comedy is it an action film is it smart is it dumb and most importantly does it hold up honestly with no joking what soever this is actually far better now than it has ever been in the past when it came out the action cliches were pretty standard so at the time it wasn't a big hit but now in 2015 these cliches have Tak on an identity of their own silly but kind of admirable this works especially now because the future they create in this movie is almost kind of true of the world we created now our society thanks to social media is trying to be more about the group forums fan pages causes to get behind hell if there's a hater online everyone wants to join together to prove how wrong he is compare that to the 80s and '90s where everything was about the individual Wall Street make money for your own action films mono imano emotions are for the weak but the great thing about it is neither side is the villain in this they're just products of their environment the future has less choice but they've also obliterated murder for 16 years the past is anarchy and violence but they also have more rights and choices they both have their pros and cons I know I joke about the future being a commentary of online culture but without even realizing it that's kind of what they did the Internet is filled with people who are overly sensitive and can't take a joke but it's also filled with attention hungry idiots who only want to anger and antagonize those people but again no one side is the bad guy they both have villains they're the extremists who want everything one way whether it's absolute perfection or absolute Anarchy both result in taking away diversity and Free Will while the heroes are the ones willing to make a compromise Stallone has trouble fitting in but he doesn't say his world was completely right eventually both sides realize that the two have to find some middle ground in order to keep balance it's a commentary that wouldn't work as well back then but works much better now comparing our new world to the world of the past our current attitude to the attitude of the 9s now don't get me wrong some things don't work especially well like the actions not really that strong and some of the cliches might be a little too stupid for their own good but the writing the ideas the commentary and yes even the acting which is honestly Pitch Perfect from every performer makes it stand out I know it sounds crazy but Demolition Man has actually gotten a lot better with time part of that being because they intentionally date the hero and villain by putting them in the future dating it surprisingly made it timeless it just knew which areas to update and which areas to leave alone I'm totally serious when I say this dumb cliched overblown action film is actually one of the smarter summer movies to come out of the past few decades but that still doesn't answer my three seashells question Malcolm Tamra begin Tamara what do you have for me well I've come to the conclusion that the first shell can be used as a scooping mechanism you can scoop out the uh the poop and then you can use the second shell and put them together as a grabbing device so that you can actually grab out the um the poop and then you can use the third to kind of just scoop out any residuals intriguing Malcolm what do you have to say well I had a theory that these seashell are put into a device that shreds them down to their most basic particles basic particles those particles are then turned into wet paper for which is then used for down there so your suggestion for replacing toilet paper is just to make toilet paper uh-huh that is brilliant the world will call you a hero and I will marry you and MCH off your money Gods take her away wait we have guards he got a weapon against behind your back resist arrest you have done well my gentle genius your future has just begun come with me hail your new Lord and savior go wel hey guys hope you enjoyed the review uh just a little reminder April 24th to the 26th is c2e2 in Chicago uh and I am going to have a table there uh this is a really big con one of the biggest in Chicago if not the biggest it's definitely like a really really big deal uh they have all sorts of great celebrities that go there and just really cool people I'm finally going to have a table there and the nice thing about it is that you know it's not like a panel where you have to wait to have your hand up whatever it's like you can just come to the table say hi I'll have merchandise and all that stuff ask me a question whatever you want and uh you know we can just have a chance to chat uh every day I'm going to be there at noon and pretty much just stay until uh there's no more people to talk to uh so yeah go ahead drop them by if you can hopefully in the next video I'll be able to tell you where in the uh con it is because it's a really big convention uh but uh yeah if not just come on in look for me I'd love to say hi to you guys so again that's uh c2e2 April 24th to the 26th hopefully I will see you guys there uh come on down Chicago and say hi take care

Channel: Channel Awesome

Views: 1,932,289

Keywords: channel awesome, nostalgia critic, doug walker, movie, movies, film, Review (Media Genre), Reviews, Wesley Snipes (Celebrity), Demolition Man (Award-Winning Work), movie review, film review, taco bell, Science Fiction Movies, Sylvester Stallone (Celebrity)

Id: efzCBvq3Q98

Length: 29min 41sec (1781 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 22 2015