The NeverEnding Story 2 - BAD MOVIES!

well here's a blast from the past the neverending story two of course to review the neverending story too i'm going to quickly go over the neverending story one and then the next review i'll do will be on the neverending story three the movie that i had no clue even existed until a fan requested that i do this series so the neverending story is based off the first half of the novel the neverending story the author of which hated this movie so much that he actually demanded they stop production and change the title of the movie now i was curious so i actually went ahead and read the book just to see what the movies had left out and i gotta say that the book is so long it's like 450 pages i think around there give or take not like it really matters at that point but when you're adapting something that long into two 90-minute movies you're bound to leave some stuff out what i wasn't expecting was just how much the second movie deviates from the second half of the novel now the never-ending story for those who haven't read it is about a young boy named bastian who is obviously still coping with the death of his mother after being chased by some bullies on his way to school he hides inside of a bookstore and borrows a book called the neverending story when he gets to school he sees that he is late for a math test so he goes and hides in the school attic and begins reading the book because that's how you make failure disappear don't conquer it just hide from it if you can't see it doesn't exist never happened i'm sure the atlanta falcons you know after that game the whole time just nope never happened i don't know what you're talking about tom who i'm just kidding i don't i don't even have a dog in the fight i i'm not even really a fan of football i just thought the game was great entertainment so the neverending story is about a fantasy land called fantasia that's being destroyed by the nothing it's kind of like a big storm that just turns things into nothing fantasia is ruled by the childlike empress who has fallen ill so they send a young warrior named atreyu to find a cure turns out the only way to save the child like empress and fantasia is for bastian to use his imagination and give her a new name the movie features some interesting characters i also thought the child acting was pretty good too and considering when it was made i thought the effects were pretty good as well one of the differences i noticed reading the book was just how many more characters there were and also the names they gave the characters so for example in the movie this is rock biter you know he eats rocks that makes sense in the novel he is a rock chewer that's the type of character he is but his name is this so yeah have fun with that it's actually pronounced pjorn cracksark i had to look that up now prior to doing this review i hadn't watched this movie since i was a kid and watching it now i've realized that this is actually a really sad story not that that's necessarily a bad thing because when you boil it down this is a movie about a boy using his imagination to cope with the death of his mother and come to terms with his own mortality impending doom is everywhere in this movie aside from it being quite literally a giant storm cloud you have gamork hunting a trey on his journey the dying empress all mixed in with that you have characters that are apathetic to the whole situation there's a terrible nothing sweeping over the land don't you care about that we don't even care whether or not we care or have just given into despair completely listen the nothing will be here any minute i will just sit here and let it take me away too i mean if you thought this scene where our tax just gives into his sadness and lets himself die was depressing you should check out the book in the book he's actually talking to atreyu and tells him he wants to die here this is just a small part of it i can't make it go on alone don't bother about me i can't stand the sadness anymore i want to die like holy crap eh but while some might feel that these themes may be a little heavy for a kids movie that doesn't make them any less real because at some point when you're a kid whether you like it or not you're going to experience grief if it wasn't the loss of a family member chances are most of us had to deal with the death of a pet at some point the right side is there's just no way it's going to be this tragic i'm 99.9 certain that house pet suicide is not actually a thing like you're not walking into your room one day and finding your hamster lying dead in the water dish with a little mini toaster in there okay it's just not gonna happen by the way at the end of the movie when bastian names the empress moon child i always thought that was kind of weird and i did some searching online apparently some people said well he named her after his mother which okay your mom's named moonchild that's fine someone was obviously into psychedelics but honestly i don't remember any mention of her name in the movie and or in the book so you know i guess at the same time the scene probably would have been a lot less dramatic if her name was something a little bit more normal [Music] barbara now i have to say i do think the movie feels a bit rushed but then again the book is so long that even though you're just adapting half of it it's so much ground to cover but again it's really only half of the story so i'm sure the sequel will write any of the wrongs here right wrong so here we are the neverending story too and if the author of the book was so disgusted by the first movie and felt they had changed the whole sense of the story i can only imagine what he thought of this now i always thought this movie was kind of lame but it wasn't until i read the novel that i realized just how stupid this thing really is the second half of the book gets much more philosophical it goes much deeper with themes of existentialism and honestly it makes for quite a thought-provoking story so it really sucks that the movie kind of misses all of this and really decides to go its own way in order to tell a story that pretty much comes really close to falling flat on its face i'm not gonna say it's just you know it's completely horrible but it's it's teetering especially when you've read the book and you realize you know what the book is really about at the end the whole you know sense of you know the whole idea of self-identity and all this stuff and then the movie really doesn't doesn't flesh any of these things out and that's a shame i understand it's a kid's movie whatever you know you know what it reminds me of okay i'm going to tell you a little bit of a story here so when i was in the 5th grade we would spend it was like an hour a week or might even an hour a day just like reading and you got to read whatever you wanted and at one point the teacher wanted everybody to one by one you know get up in front of the class and do a little presentation on what you were reading so what you liked about it what you didn't like about it what it was about and it just so happens that he called by name first i don't remember the situation exactly either i had a book and i just didn't like it or and i stopped reading it or i forgot the book the only book that i had the only book was the newest goosebumps book and it was in my desk so i just read the synopsis like little synopsis on the back of the book i looked at the cover i went up in front of the class and um i just made it up like three to five minutes it was the first time i've done it it was like 10 years old and i just i winged it i bullshit the whole thing something just clicked in my mind and i was so confident that i could go up there and just serve up to 100 all bullshit patties special sauce lettuce cheese onion pickles on a sesame seed bun and it worked and that's what this movie is like it's like they knew certain things from that were in the book in the second half of the novel yeah there's a story there the only difference is that this movie got bad reviews and i got full marks on my presentation i'll never forget that i i was in complete disbelief when i got my mark back i was like wow this actually worked it was like it was it was like an explosion in my brain like holy shit this is like discovering some kind of a new evil superpower i could lie and an adult believed it so let's get started with of course a look at the poster i love this part of the show now it's funny that the poster is so bright and colorful because the movie is pretty much the complete opposite this poster is much more accurate in that sense but look okay in the original movie there's a few shots where falcore looked kind of like a giant sock puppet but in this they don't even give him limbs it's like a giant snake with a dog's head and very creepy human eyes now this movie came out six years after the first one the delay i believe had something to do with the fact that the author was suing the production company because he hated the first movie so much and then he lost the lawsuit so there's obviously some problems that come with this like the younger audience is now six years older they might not be interested anymore and the cast from the original is now six years older as well so you know you got to recast them apparently they auditioned over 600 kids and this is what they came up with now okay i'm not expecting you to find kids that look exactly the same as the original cast but can you at least try a bit atreyu looks close but with the childlike empress could you at least style the hair the same it's not like she has any real performance to give in this thing anyways they probably could have gotten a mannequin to play this part so let's take a look at what has returned from the original film okay so you got uh you got thomas hill he played carl coriander that seems that seems to be it casting wise you have a couple of the same puppets from the original but the voices have changed and the kitchen that's the same as well wow what a list holy crap i can't believe they managed to bring back the kitchen so the movie starts with bastion destroying a perfectly good sandwich i like how he looks surprised here for some reason as the sandwich is falling apart i mean what what did you think was gonna happen so the next day bastian wants to try out for the swim team but the coach wants them to jump off the high board to see who's got what it takes and i have to say what does this have to do with actual swimming ability like we jump from a higher distance what an athlete sorry tom you know your your breaststroke is is is great and all you're really fast but jim jumped from up there so yeah you're cut get out of here after watching these movies back to back i've realized something about this scene and that's that i don't really understand what bastian is scared of here what's he really afraid of heights water well it can't be water after all bastion looked pretty eager to join the swim team and last time i checked being on a swim team typically involves a lot of swimming in water something about heights how to be able to jump from a high very high an extremely high diving board so it must be heights yes that makes perfect sense i mean look at this here this just happened at the end of the last movie and isn't it just the perfect portrait of a terrified young man oh uh yeah well the dressing is common courtesy bastion i mean i something you ought to learn by the way look at that old rag you're wearing [Laughter] i love the reaction here just bomb-baited like really when during the war of 1812 look at this thing i've seen sweaters at the hockey hall of fame that are like a hundred years old and they look mint in comparison seriously it looks like someone tried to knit a halter top out of yarn and then gave it to a family of raccoons to nest in sebastian goes back into coriander's bookstore once again and borrows the never-ending story let me borrow it please no bastion [Music] and then gets sucked back into fantasia with oren that's the medallion that lets him wish for whatever he wants and i don't know for some reason they spell oren in all capitals in the book so i guess i i don't know if that stands for something but whatever it's not just oren it's orange in fantasia there's this witch named zaida who has this machine that basically steals memories from bastion every time he makes a wish so that eventually he'll forget who he is and why he's there so she sends the spy nimbly to go and convince him to make wishes you want something you wish it oran makes it happen you're very lucky yeah you know what just i don't know every time i see that i know it's supposed to be innocent obviously but every time i see it it's just so creepy it just it never uh watch out pure acid acid fantasians will be very grateful if you wish for the lake to be filled with crystal spring water instead come on try it out start with the lake make it purple add some sugar raise the temperatures so everybody can go for a swim i don't know i'm sure there's a reason for the acid maybe it keeps everything nice and shiny okay here is one of my main issues with this and this is something that i've i actually learned a long time ago when i was doing improv of all things and that's be careful when you're giving a character too much power because if you give a character too much power you also have to provide a reason as to why they wouldn't wield that power all the time otherwise you run the risk of the characters actions not making any sense now in the book the lake of tears did have a purpose it was to keep invaders away from the city but that's not in this movie bastion doesn't know that so there's gotta be a better reason than just well maybe it keeps everything nice and shiny like give me a break and if you were really that concerned with keeping everything shiny then how about this i wish that the acid was water instead i also wish that everything stayed just as shiny oh my god oh wow that was so hard so bastion enters silver city which does not look like a place for children to be seriously if stanley kubrick taught me anything it's that people looking like this could break out into some kind of weird sex orgy at any minute suddenly these giant lobster robots show up and start chasing bastion until he reaches a dead end whistle away bastion kids just wish i think i've said this in other videos before but this is yet just another perfect example as to you know why the the where the story takes place what time what planet you know all that doesn't matter so much as the actions of the characters being realistic that's what has to make sense and none of this makes sense bastion keeps calling to nimbly to save him and nimbly keeps telling bastion to make a wish to save himself and the kid just won't do it there is absolutely no reason not to the only reason that he shouldn't make a wish is that it would cause him to lose a memory but bastian doesn't even know that you know i i think i'm going to break this down to really make my point here just because i want to just because it's fun do you remember near the beginning of the first matrix when neo's in his office and morpheus calls him on the phone and tries to help him get away from the agents at one point morpheus tells him that he's gonna have to scale along the outside of the building and take a scaffold to the roof to escape and what does neo do he says that this whole thing is crazy and ultimately decides that he can't do it he's not privy to what is actually going to happen to him if he gets caught by the agents the risk assessment makes complete sense based off his knowledge of the situation in order to escape he risks falling off the building and dying failure to do this will ultimately lead him into the agent's custody and not death applying the same rational thought process to bastion makes him look like a complete moron based off his knowledge of the situation in attempting to make a wish in order to escape bastion risks nothing not a single goddamn thing there's no dice to be ruled no chips to push forward it's zero risk failure to escape however will result in death and for whatever reason nimbly screams just wish and then throws him a rope to escape just wait eventually you gotta think that self-preservation is gonna kick in and bastion will wish for something unless nimbly just realized how much of an idiot bastion is and it's just up there like you know if i don't save this kid he's actually i think he might be dumb enough to die here sebastian gets a message from the empress saying that she's trapped in her castle by some kind of force and it's up to bastion to name the force what is this force only you can name it name it i really don't understand why bastian is so complex by this he literally just did the same thing for her he had to come up with the name and boom he did it at the end it's it's almost like he just forgot that literally just happened he's just i name it okay um kind of a geez that's a kind of a new concept there okay you have to it's going to take me a while all right bastian goes out and asks if any of the people in silver city will come with him on his quest to name the force i guess the trejo said fidelio at the gates and was granted access to the silver city which is a good thing because nobody wants to go on this quest so they decide to go to the castle where the giant robots are coming from there are no roads you'll have to fly but a little wish would go a long way nimbly's right i have oren i should use it i'll wish for the most horrible flying dragon in the history of fantasies it breathes fire [Music] i'll call him smurg we can't let it loose on fantasia who knows what it might do come on and again here's where you kind of write yourself into a corner because since bastion just basically wished this situation into existence there is no reason why he can't use a wish to fix it immediately like watch this oh crap the dragons out of control just took off okay i wish that the dragon obeyed my every command come back and stop setting fire to everything have you ever read the story the monkey's paw i really like that story because in it the guy has like three wishes and each wish comes with dire consequences so there's the whole be careful what you wish for aspect to it but also it becomes kind of like a catch-22 situation so you know you make a wish and then the consequences come and you got to deal with that so you only have two wishes left then do you use your next wish to try and fix you know all the stuff that went wrong after you made the first wish so there's a finite number of wishes to be made there's some finality there and a tremendous amount of uncertainty with this bastion only has as many wishes as he has memories but he doesn't know that yet and in the novel you know he couldn't just wish all the time for whatever he wanted he had to jump from wish to wish that's how they phrased it in the book it made more sense when you read it but that's not in this movie i mean could you imagine being the empress up in her tower just watching all of this unfold just looking down like wow i give this guy the power to do anything he wants in order to fix fix fantasia and to get me out of here and so far he's almost died in multiple ways and now there's a dragon on the loose setting fire to everything i mean how do you fuck up that much so they get to the evil castle and detroit starts setting up a bunch of eggs which are supposed to be their army once the giants show up the eggs hatch and little toy cars come out and do what exactly cause distraction so bastian had to cause a distraction so that atreyu could cause a distraction you've been lugging around a giant bag full of eggs for this seems like a lot of effort for a bunch of overgrown kinder surprises anyways bastion wishes there was another way to get in and suddenly steps start to appear up the castle now as bastion is climbing up the steps another giant appears so bastion starts wishing for more steps i wish for another step and another one and another and another one i wish for another one and another i think bastion is a serious contender for the worst wish maker of all time you can see how much distance there is from you to the top of the tower and you're just gonna sit there channeling dj khaled wishing for each individual step wasting god only knows how much time i just don't understand what is so hard about this like check this out just i wish for steps all the way up like why are you making this so much more difficult than it has to be probably because they needed a spot in the script where bastion just made a bunch of wishes in order to you know speed up the whole memory drain thing anyways bastion and atreyu are inside the castle when they get confronted by a couple of giants now in the book this part is actually pretty cool because bastian has a magic sword that just flies up into his hand it just starts hacking these things to pieces it's it's pretty awesome but um oh yeah this isn't the book i wish for a spray can a spray can a spray can all right just hand it over seriously take that thing off your neck give it to atreyu and take a lap because this is just ridiculous at this point for a kid that's supposed to have such a wild imagination you do you don't do much thinking do you like what's next oh crap here comes some more bad guys i wish for a basket of bananas so bastian demands that zaida goes with them to the ivory tower to free the empress but falcore refuses to let her ride on his back and when she asks bastian to ride with her in her carriage or whatever bastion is just so excited for some reason you know what dude you got a thing for older women i get it but you got to get better at this risk assessment thing zyda starts taking them in circles while getting bastion to keep making wishes and atreyu figures this out so he tells falcore and they decide to stop bastion from making wishes before he loses all of his memories but i gotta say look at this you can see the ivory tower from here so if falcore would just stop being such a stubborn asshole and let her ride on his back they could just fly over there in what like five ten minutes so bastion gets in a fight with the treyu and i don't know throws him off a cliff or some shit then he finds out the machine is real and that he only has two wishes left now to me this is a no-brainer this is an easy fix you see the machine you know you have two wishes left all right so how about this i wish i had all my memories back let's take it a step further i also wish that the machine suddenly broke into a million pieces and could never be fixed wouldn't that be the logical thing to wish for but instead he just takes off after atreyu and falcore okay you know what i get it you want to win back your friends that's very noble of you but i think you got to lay down some punishment here i get that i get that it's a kid's movie okay i know that i'm just saying though if it was me in this situation man i would get creative with it how about this i wish that randomly at some point in the next 30 minutes your heads explode gonna be an interesting next half hour isn't it now i know you're probably thinking geez mark that's really dark and sinister and evil you're goddamn right it is i'm a nice guy but you gotta stop and take a look at the place you're in okay because you got witches that are trying to steal your memories people made out of mud some kind of purple volcano dude you talk about people being two-faced this mother got four there's some kind of eyes wide shut type shit going on giant lobster robots lakes of acid a giant bird that may or may not be a pedophile this is a hostile environment you can't get caught sleeping out here what you think this is some kind of game so someone crosses a line you explode a few hats and then what happens people start talking word gets out all of a sudden you know people want to be on your good side you start making friends invited to parties maybe drop a few fidelios here and there who knows anyways bastian goes on walking for a while until he finds his friends and what remains of silver city by the way i should mention that his dad is reading the book at this point and working up quite a sweat in the process so he uses his second to last wish to wish atreyu back to life and then zaida shows up go home and leave fantasia to me yes aida i will make my last wish [Music] i wish for you to have a heart [Music] and bastion wishes for her to have a heart which is kind of nice so nice that it kills her and her robots and makes everything okay again then the child like mannequin shows up bastian gives up alright and she tells him to jump off a cliff i mean i bet he probably wants to stay you know hang out with her for a bit but i'm gonna be honest i think atreyu's got that on lockdown just look at what he had to go through on his journey compared to yours dude went through a hell of a lot and he didn't even he had oren but he didn't have the power to just wish for whatever he wanted the guy killed gamork and he like didn't even flinch during it too he just walked up to him like so what's up come at me to work or are you just going to be a little bitch while you faced a bunch of slow moving hollow robots and figured the best way to fight them was a spring so yeah i'm just saying i wouldn't blow up her phone okay now as i mentioned at the beginning there is another never ending story the neverending story 3 but that's another story and shall be told another time like two weeks okay just give me two weeks to try and get that one out okay thanks for watching guys [Music] lift and hmm lift and then from it's actually pronounced pjorn cracksark i had to look that up and every time i every time i read the name for some reason i don't know why but have you ever have you ever gone down the like the foreign food aisle in the grocery store and for the most part you know you can figure out what everything is even if it's in a different language but there's always that one thing that you look at you're like i just have no idea what's in that can and then you might have that one friend who just for some reason knows what all this stuff is and it's like oh yeah you never heard of a pure and crack shark that's you know this little little toasted uh beetles you ever have it when you're reading a book and you just kind of just in your mind get a little distracted like you're reading but you're not really processing what you're reading and then you just kind of snap out of it like oh shit now i gotta go back that happened multiple times when i was reading the book some of these characters i was like who's this guy again there's just so many like there are some really cool ones that were in the movie like in the book there's a there's this lion who's like on fire like and then i don't know i think there might have been a three-headed owl somewhere along the way i don't really remember the bastion is like what 10 years old 12th i think he was 10 in the book so he's had this sweater for how long at most six years so what did he do to it who knows maybe he was always like that maybe maybe his mother like was knitting it and got mauled by a bear and that's how she died i don't get why his father is pushing him to be part of this swim team so much this was actually in the first movie as well i mean i really don't think this kid is into sports all that much this is the same kid who skipped a math test in order to read a book inside of an old addict like i have my doubts about him becoming the next michael phelps put it that way

Channel: FanboyFlicks

Views: 640,966

Rating: 4.7788429 out of 5

Keywords: the neverending story, neverending story, bastian, falkor, Comedy, Funny, Hilarious, Bad movies, movie reviews, Bad Movie (Film), movie review, Reviews, fanboy flicks, horrible movies, worst movies, rotten tomatoes

Id: ypgPn1OhJzE

Length: 32min 36sec (1956 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 20 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/chubbyfats]

This was interesting but just as he mentions how the book is a long read this was a long review

[u/falcon5768]

Obscure?

Like seriously how was it obscure, it had Jonathan Brandis right at the point he was becoming a heartthrob in IT, Sidekicks, Ladybugs, and had just been on Wonder Years and Blossom and JUST before SeaquestDSV.

It was hardly obscure, it was like on constant rotation on HBO. It was TERRIBLE, but not obscure.

[u/WildHistory]

The kid should have renamed her Martha.

[u/empty_couch]

I liked this a lot and have subbed to the channel. Sweet.

[u/Atrugiel]

This is one of my favorite youtube channels. I wish he could put out videos quicker.