the last of us but its a comedy

my friend don't worry I don't want anything but if you're feeling lost tell me to look for the light and I'll break your jaw all right I can do it Kim you don't have a [ __ ] ear on your [ __ ] head could you please tear out a few pages there's not gonna be anything bad in here just you know your t-shirt's inside out the government are all Nazis count slowly and clearly from one to ten one two three slowly and clearly one two three four five six seven eight [ __ ] you where'd you get the money for this drugs I saw hardcore drugs it's better when I do you see so much as Twitches don't antique 1948 wow you know how much these are worth currently nothing can I have a gun absolutely not okay Jesus fine after some [ __ ] sandwich at them long way or short way I mean it's the long way or the [ __ ] dead way well I vote long way it's based on that limited information do you ever stay in a place like this uh no a little out of our league I don't even know what this is have you heard of books what are you doing killing time what am I supposed to do I'm sure you'll figure that out I got something to show you not that well I I don't know how to swim seriously who's an accusing no smart ass I mean I don't know how I supposed to know that why did you shoot him the gun's all the way over there he made him soup yeah I did it's cold out sweet please yes ma'am would you like me to shake your luggage yes ma'am right away man you're a weird kid nice knife where'd you learn to do that the circus can I hold your gun um they kind of made me swear not to let other people handle my side to handle my sidearm because I'm such a [ __ ] Firefly why'd you get that scar on your head what is it something lame like you fell down the stairs or something I didn't fall down any stairs okay so what then someone shot at me and missed you see that's cool yeah you can you get it no I missed two it happens more often than you think because you suck at shooting or like in general Texas what about tests Detroit it's in Michigan I go to school I know where Detroit is so uh you two like uh pass that's what happened you started dating some Firefly dude and was like ah it's cool I think I'll be a terrorist yep that's it we're getting married how long do infected live no I thought you went to school it's really shitty one you all right well I didn't [ __ ] my pants you know seeing as it's just the two of us I was thinking I should probably oh [ __ ] you yeah it's just there's stuff up there you shouldn't see I have to see anything bad in here just you huh getting funnier Frank Frank songs picked over my ass what are you doing it's not much ammo out there for this thing makes it mostly useless oh you're just gonna leave it there no Ellie can it hurt me no I'm too honest man should have said Ax Murderer nice how does that work deciphon that's when liquid travels Against Gravity because pressure you don't know I know it works I traded Joel and test one of your guns for a packet of seeds each gun a little one they have hot water I'm taking a shower and then your shower because seriously actually no I'm guessing you found this Joel because anyone else would have been electrocuted or blown up by one of my traps what did the mermaid where did her math class analogy bra like watching you stayed up all night no I'm Ellie I'm Joel look you ate we didn't kill each other let's call this a win-win and move on dude no there's a wall of them slow down that's just slow what am I even eating that is 20 year old Chef Boyardee ravioli that guy was good I actually agree pretty shut up Joe what can I ask you a serious question yeah why did the Scarecrow get an award because he was outstanding in his field you dick what about the fireflies we get those in the summer not the Bugs the people there are Firefly people you got any advice on the best way west yeah go east we didn't hurt you so you don't hurt us right that's right so we're [ __ ] told man that's just the way he sounds he has an [ __ ] voice Joe tell him he's okay everything is great dude Jolie okay Joe shut up [ __ ] are you dying I'm fine no no where are you because just a reminder that you're dead I'm [ __ ] I said seriously what those Starbucks in the accused you used to sell well there's a lot fresher than what bills saved up but yeah this is what they sold it smells like burnt [ __ ] I'm learning how to whistle you don't know how to whistle does it sound like I know how to whistle no shhh seriously though how the [ __ ] do you do that whatever so that made electricity yeah don't ask me I don't have a clue you know you could have just made something up I wouldn't believe you what's his name whose name your brother call me young or older younger why isn't he with you long story is it longer than 25 hours because I think that's what we got everyone thinks that it's full of infected including Kathleen which means that we're not going to be running into any of our people see what I know is it's empty you've been down there no you got it pretty early if you want to grab more sleep I'm not even tired if you uh look at this yeah you really aren't everything you see in our town greenhouses livestock all shared Collective ownership so uh communism ah I didn't like that it is that literally this is the commune we're Communists oh I know it changes mine trust me this is how it goes he's like no L.A never ever ever happening and then I'm like I'm gonna ask you a million more times finger off the trigger who taught you that Central School figures there's more if you need it thank you ma'am been a while since we've had a proper meal actually I don't think I've ever had a proper meal this is [ __ ] amazing you put it in your pack shoot your damn ass off where'd you be without me huh by now Wyoming oh yeah [ __ ] into that one whoa damn it Ellie give me a minute get up you lazy ass you squeeze the trigger like you love it gentle steady nice and slow you're gonna shoot this thing or get it pregnant it isn't gonna work it doesn't aim right you dick [Music] did you know diarrhea is hereditary yeah it runs in your jeans hmm can I have some no what just to warm up come on yep so gross you deserve a choice I still think you'd be better off with Tom let's go okay houses stores that kind of thing we were called contractors we were cool [Laughter] that's kind of a pessimistic I'm not my dad I don't know what Tommy was so afraid of still time to find out it's still time to find out okay so this is what I'm thinking cut through that building to get together uh actually this time I was thinking we blast our way through that Rubble I found some dynamite in that RV back there no so we're going to cut through that building find a skyscraper go up and look around so I've been thinking I don't want a sheep Ranch actually I mean if the deal is I can do anything that's the deal well when I was a kid I wanted to be a singer why is that funny you gotta sing something now no you're already laughing people are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow too soon no it's topical oh I love this one moon rocks tastes better than Earth rots why meteor that's terrible that was actually good that's a zero out of ten all right what did the green grape say purple grip review idiot those are three out of ten hey Dad can we get a puppy can we get a puppy and oh Dad look how cute it is can we please get a puppy so I made a presentation for my dad to want reasons why I should get a puppy I'm lonely I'm bored they're cute reasons why I should get a puppy number one I'm lonely number two I'm bored number three they're cute so what do you say so does that mean I can get a puppy no get ready with me to go to war so today I think we're fighting France and if you know me you know I love a good French man French men are so spicy so it's like I want to look cutesies just in case one of them kills me because like what if one of them is the love of my life and like they're about to shoot me and then they like look into my eyes and be like fall in love for my outfit I'm just gonna wear this cute little sweater because it is a little chilly outside it also has this super cute little heart because you know Love Is in the Air along with bullets and other things but you're gonna I've been working you're gonna really try I'm really trying okay if I laugh just keep going sometimes I just relax anyway okay honey oh wait I can't even look I can't just turn around we're gonna run out of time ready 7am waking up in the morning

Channel: polkavin

Views: 172,059

Keywords: polkavin, best, hd, full, crack, humor, compilation, cast, interview, netflix, episode, edit, season, cameo, rebecca, ending, line, show, comedy, meme, pedro, pascal, bella, ramsey, ellie, joel, ashley, johnson, ron, bill, nick offerman, nico parker, sarah, anna torv, tess, storm, riley, frank, tommy, voice, actor, kathleen, marlene, henry, sam, maria, tlou, last of us, game, troy, craig, neil, podcast, naughty, scene, zombie, infected, funniest, reid, hbo, perry, david, clicker, anna

Id: NbgPozLdFwk

Length: 16min 11sec (971 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 18 2023