Ugh, still? They’ve been at it for days. I’ve seen like, three different companies come to do some simple roadwork. This is BS, they’re all just taking the job and shoving it off on other people. I know Grill. DAYS, Brew. DAYS. Subcontracting is a tried and true method of delegating work to experienced professionals. Yeah but do you really need to hire 3 separate companies to pour concrete? Beats me, but I do know this isn’t the first time subcontracting has gotten someone into trouble. A Chinese businessman found this out the hard way when he was arrested on conspiracy to hire an assassin to murder his business partner. Little did he know, however, the contract killer he thought he paid to kill a man, decided to pass on the job to another hitman, who passed it on to a different assassin, who passed it on to another hired gun, who passed it on to another hitman. Wait a second, was that… FIVE!? Some of the events described in this episode are historical in nature and involve murder. We are not making any statements about the motives of these events, but only seek to present interesting historical narratives. Also, don’t kill people. Please. And with that out of the way, Let’s get into it. Okay, first off, I promise I’ll get to the hitman chain, but I do want to take a moment to talk about my favourite historical hits. Yeah, I’m a little disturbed that you know what your favourite historical assassinations are. Yeah I’ve picked up some strange hobbies lately. Jörg Jenatsch was a Swiss political leader and a mercenary, who garnered a reputation for schemes. Legends say he embedded an axe into Pompeius Von Planta, one of his political rivals over a religious dispute concerning the newly developed Protestant reformation. Rumor is that Jenatsch drove the axe with such ferocity that it pinned the man’s body to the floor. Afterwards Jenatsch converted to Roman Catholicism and became the leader of a secret alliance known as the Kettenbund which garnered him more enemies than ever. So here we come to the night of January 24th, 1639, twenty years after the death of Von Planta. The Carnival of Basel was in full swing, and the Swiss town of Chur’s entire population was out and raring to party. Jenatsch and his compatriots were slamming back brewskis in a tavern when a group of partiers arrived. They wore the usual carnival regalia, you know, lavish masks, maybe some costumes, so needless to say, no one batted an eyelash when a person dressed head to toe as a bear arrived for a quick bevvy. Turns out, the bear wasn’t thirsty for a creamy stout, but for blood, and Jenatsch was drunk, vulnerable, and most importantly, unquestioning of why a bear was lifting a hatchet high above his head. There are conflicting stories as to the identity of the bear who killed him, but one theory suggests that the daughter of Von Planta had done the deed. Okay I do have to admit that was pretty good. Next we’re gonna go way back to 1618 to the Defenestrations of Prague. The Defenesa what now? The Defenestrations of Prague, were three specific incidents of people being thrown out of windows. You’re telling me that there’s a whole word to say that you threw someone out a window?! Wait, what’s that you’re asking? Which one of these defenestrations was my favourite? Well, I’m glad you asked. But it would have to be the third. A Protestant mob, angered that the Holy Roman Emperor was going to forcibly convert them to Catholicism on threat of death, confronted their local Catholic leaders, demanding to know if they encouraged him to curtail their rights. Of the four Catholic leaders involved, two of them proved that they were simply good Catholics, and didn’t desire to see anyone’s freedoms taken away, so the mob let them leave. The remaining two, only expecting to be arrested, admitted their guilt, and gloated about how the emperor would surely put their accusers to death. The mob then surged forward, hoisting the two men over their heads, and tossed them out a third floor window. The two defenestrated men survived, miracuously, and depending on who you ask, you’d get a different answer as to why. Legends quickly emerged to explain the miracle, Catholics would recount that they saw angels swoop down and catch the two men. Protestants on the other hand would mockingly note that there was a pile of manure at the bottom that slowed their descent. Hold on, I gotta take this. Okay... This is special agent BlazeClaw! IceWhisker, what’s your status? Ouwee. This is IceWhisker! Status update: I’m being very sneaky. And I found orange flavored wafer cookies! Will secure the last few packages then make my way to checkout. Also WOW you sound great on here! Ouwee. Yeah, of course I do, the equipment for this special mission was sponsored by Raycon! Thanks to their state of the art microphone technology we can maintain a covert operation with crystal clear communication! Ouwee. Oh, neat, I’ve heard some pretty cool things about them- Brew, do you mind? Yes. They’re a stylish yet discreet pair of earbuds that match or even out-perform the other premium wireless earbuds on the market at half the cost! Everyone knows that! Status update. The lineup is super long, homies. I could be here for awhile! What if my batteries die and I’m stuck in line without any sweet lo-fi tunes!? O-o-ouwee. Not gonna happen, Agent. You’re working with the Everyday E25 Earbuds! They got enough juice to last you up to 6 hours. Ouwee. WOW! Where’d you score a pair of buds like these? THAT’S CLASSIFIED INFORMATION AGENT No it isn’t? You can just head on over to buyraycon.com/BREW, or click the link in the description to save 20% off your next order. Now’s the time to get the best prices of the year on Raycons. But hurry, this offer is available for a limited time only. They made an already great deal even better? It’s a miracle! No. It’s Raycon, baby. ...Ouwee. I wanna know about that hitman train. Patience is a virtue, Grill. You’re vir-truly annoying. Oh hey that was pretty good. One hot August evening in 2012, Chinese businessman and investor Tan Youhui sat pondering implications of his recent deal with another businessman, Wei Mou. Tan had given Wei a large sum of cash to invest in a development company in Guangxi and another one in Nanning, but a lingering anxiety hung over his head. Did he make a bad investment? A year later, in 2013, Tan discovered that Wei was suing him and his company over a dispute between the two development companies. It’s like Tan’s worst fears had come to life. If he had went to court, he would definitely lose his investment. He needed to keep this out of legal channels. As he struggled to find a way out, it dawned on him. He knew exactly how to keep this out of court. He’d hire a contract killer to murder Wei. As long as it can’t come back to him, then all his problems would disappear. As you do. Quite. So Tan contacted hitman Xi Guangan and paid him 2 million yuan, or just under 300,000 American dollars, to assassinate his business partner, Wei. Tan also gave the hitman a white cell phone containing Wei’s phone number and licence plate, along with his ID. When the deed was done, the hitman was to text an image of Wei’s body to Tan for verification. Not to be taken for a ride, Xi decided that the best kinds of bosses know how and when to delegate. So he asked Tan for an additional 150,000 dollars to be paid after the murder, and quickly passed on the contract job and information to Mo Tianxiang, another assassin, with an advance of 40,000 dollars, with the promise of another payment to the sum of 80,000 dollars paid after the murder. Of course, Mo was no fool, so he obviously decided to subcontract his work, because who wants to do their own dirty work when you can pay someone to do it for you? So it was by this decision that Yang Kangsheng was involved. Mo paid him 40,000 dollars up front, with the promise of an additional 70,000 after the job was done, to assassinate Wei, giving him the ID, phone number, and licence plate. Obviously Yang wasn’t an idiot though, and he knew the merits of subcontracting. So he passed on the job to Yang Guangsheng to a tune of 30,000 dollars up front with another 70,000 to be sent after the murder, also providing the same white cell phone and Wei’s number and licence plate. But, Yang number 2 knew that only a buffoon would do his own wet work, so he did what any self respecting Chinese business owner would do. He paid someone else to do it for him. By this turn of events Ling Xianxi was brought in. Yang number 2 only paid him 14,000 dollars for the murder of Wei. Considering Yang Number 2 was to be paid the equivalent of 100,000 US dollars, he could have probably afforded to pay Xianxi a little more. However he might have been the smartest of the bunch. So he called Wei, and set up a meeting at a coffee shop. Oh that’s good. Lure him to an isolated place under the guise of a business meeting and then WA POW BRA BRAP! That would be a good way to get arrested if that’s what Ling tried to do. No, Ling had no intention of harming Wei, because while he knew the benefits of subcontracting work and delegation, he also knew that sometimes, the job just isn’t worth the money. Especially not a measly 14 grand. The meeting between the two of them was to decide how to get out of this assassin train. Ling suggested that the two of them should fake Wei’s death. Since every single other hitman in the chain was waiting for the next hitman to text them a photo of the dead businessman, Ling could easily pass off his death up the ladder. The two of them went back to Wei’s apartment to stage the murder. Ling tied up Wei’s hands, and stepped back to take the photo. Ling took the photo and texted it to Yang 2. Yang 2 then texted it to Yang 1, who texted it to Mo, who texted it to Xi, who texted it to Tan, who was promptly arrested at his home on conspiracy to commit murder. Because little did he know, that while Ling was tying up loose ends on the murder side to make sure no one else came after them, a very much alive Wei had rushed to the police to blow the roof off this whole conspiracy. In the end, Tan was sentenced to 5 years in prison, and the other hitmen received 3 year sentences except for Ling. Since he was the one who blew the whistle on the whole endeavour, he was only sentenced for two years and seven months in prison. Because he’s still technically a murderer for hire? Exactly. You don’t get points for not killing people. It’s been said before that comedy is tragedy plus time, but if you multiply that by 5 subcontracting hitmen, well, you’re assass-in for a funny time. Wait wait wait, Brew, listen… Is it...Ugh, if only there was some way to make my ears happy… Oh.
