[Channel Awesome Intro] [Intro] [Texting sound and Emojis] Fuck. This. Shit. The Emoji Movie is one of the most famously despised films in recent years. With a premise that's beyond desperate and gimmicky, a trailer with FAR MORE dislikes than likes, and a Rotten Tomatoes score of EIGHT FRIGGIN PERCENT, This movie's hate levels have reached legendary status! Now usually, I like whatever I review to have some sort of nostalgic tie-in But with all the requests I've been getting to review this I can't see the film not becoming a nostalgic landmark of heinousness There's a lot to get to so let's get right to it Insert your emoji icon brutally stabbing the emoji movie here does that emoji not exist yet? It will let's take a look at currently one of the most hated films ever the emoji movie It starts off with the Columbia logo having its picture taken and given an emoji. I immediately hate all life We're told how everybody is always on their phones, but seeing how this is a Sony movie with Sony products They don't portray this as a bad thing. "That's our user, Alex." You can call him Riley It's not his name, but it's who he is "Attention spans get shorter and shorter," "And you're probably not even listening to me right now who has the time to type out actual words" I mean the writers clearly didn't type out actual words. I just assumed the entire script was this You see the emojis are alive and live in a place called Textopolis It's just a hint of how hard they're trying in this movie where we see our main character is named meh voiced by TJ Miller Meh it turns out is super happy But his job/personality assignment for life requires him to be unimpressed by anything "We have business to attend to. What kind of business?" "Monkey business" I'll admit I got chuckle out of the emoticons being old and elderly, but don't worry There's a whole bad movie of jokes to make up for it. "Is that the time? Hey my eyes are up here pal" I'm sorry. I was looking at your boobs Clock I don't even follow that So he goes to talk to his father played by dammit Steven Wright why haven't you fired your agent yet? No really that's how he's billed now "I'm not letting you go to work today. What? You're just not ready son" His dad said Meh isn't ready to go on the phone and be a meh face and in keeping with the film's theme The moment is immediately followed by crap "Should we wash our hands?" [Laughter] "We're number 2! We're number 2!" That's Patrick Stewart playing Shit and his character's name is Poop "Just doing my duty" Sweet Jesus Matt insists he's ready though and he visits the original emoji smiler played by dammit Maya Rudolph Why haven't you also fired your agent? By the way if you're wondering? No, that's not how she feels herself now, but it is a picture of this character hanging herself She says you just wait for the user to pick you and then you get scanned into his Conversation and that skin will get sent right up to Alex's tax buck. Yes naughty scammy twice last night it was wonderful I Kind of replied to Eddie's text Right nothing nothing words aren't cool That's like a film mocking a generations idiocy while also adding to that generations idiocy Matt gets chosen though and panics giving a different face What is that emoji just look around you it's called the audience's got to him reaction Seeing how apparently this has never happened in history I guess everything goes wrong and the scanner is destroyed in fact for a system and a Civilization that doesn't need to exist they really should have more safety precautions Effective phones have souls living in them does that mean that the machines They use also have souls living in them do the gears inside that toaster also have little Toasters inside the town called toe stop Alice is anyone who made this realizing How stupid this all was yet, so they think mez a malfunction, which yeah? Honestly sounds right as he talks to his friend poop, and we discover a whole new emotional realm that really evolves his character Yeah, just getting to make sure jokes we all have accidents. You're so soft poop not too soft I hope I did this role for my grandkids. Who are not getting Christmas presents this year Smiler says the only thing to do is to delete them forcing antivirus BOTS to wipe them out I Know a lot of people compare this to inside out But it doesn't help that smiler is Literally joy except with different hair and complete lack of joy to quote John Lovitz from rat race. You should sue somebody Man escapes though and comes across another unpopular emoji called high-five play by James Corden who thinks he's being hunted, too He'll never find us down here welcome to the loser lounge where the emojis you never get used Hangouts I guess that can be funny But you're missing the really unpopular ones like pregnant wife drinking emoji Ghostbuster reboot emoji and breadstick emojis dick sauce needs bread stick emojis Just find the hacker and get reprogrammed High-five tells them to find a hacker in the piracy app to get reprogrammed so that everything will go back to normal But all I need is the hacker today's your lucky day. Let's roll the high-five also realizes He can do that to become popular again kind of weird He didn't originally think of that for himself But they had to write this fast to start another Sony Cinematic Universe give him some credit There was little toilet paper to write this on They walk outside a text appleís and enter the wallpaper in the phone again could be a clever idea But it just feels like more commercials for products and apps on Sony phones. We chats candy It's especially tragic because that's a real good commentary on social media in this conversation How does he know so many people none of these people know him? But they like him yet, rather just have a real friend a real friend How's that gonna get you anywhere what you need are fans, but again? It's kind of lost when you're in the film called the emoji movie It's like slipping in fascism is bad and triumph of the will something's gonna get lost They make it to the piracy app which is disguised as a dictionary app using a different skin What could a teenage boy possibly want to hide from his parents? What's this film rated again It could have been worse job Roaming through the drunken VeggieTales they come across a hacker named jailbreak played by dama Anna Faris why haven't you? Oh god damn forget it and yes that is how she's built Fanta favorite spots come in though and jailbreak agrees to help Matt after she sees he can make many different emoji faces they land in Candy crush because shit. We're not enough like other Disney animated films. Are we the game obviously thinks you're candy. What do we do? Very still it's more likely the users mom downloaded it. So it probably won't be played for a while After a mere 20-minute absence. We finally see not Riley again as he tries to hit on the girl He likes but candy crunch keeps making sounds so he calls customer service to get the phone fixed I'd like to make an appointment this phone is playing games with me, and yeah That's all the insight we need on him for a while. It's amazing how much I know about this kid compared to inside out like the boy They finally get him out of candy crush, and they realize they have to get to the cloud to reprogram him after this Strong feminist statement, you know women are always coming up with stuff that men are taking credit for you know what? Disgust And as parents go looking for him while also being followed by the bots so they distract them in the YouTube app What do you do No yeah be an average hour okay? These jokes are over five years old place your bets cat video or Why even make another guess you know that's it? Hey, what's this YouTube kids video with Elsa the Joker and spider-man oh? That's gonna change the film's rating The bot spot our heroes trying to get to the cloud through Dropbox by going through the Just Dance app not entirely sure how that path works on my phone either as it looks like they have to dance or Death what does she mean by out digital death Just Dance got a lot darker in recent years, but jailbreak can't dance So Matt shows her how oh? He knows how to dance clearly this is a relationship material Why does a hand have a butt why is that my biggest question, but more importantly why does a hand have a butt? I do never call this Q&A portion of the game the emoji I'd rather do the Macarena with the Mario than the emoji pop Well on fire But jailbreak reveals. She's really a princess emoji the one said to have gotten off the phone although She clearly didn't you're the princess emoji you Never got off the phone now. We don't know that maybe she's just one of the minions playing dress-up everything else from this Movie is stolen Well, it's been about 12 minutes. Yes, we can check in on that Reilly again God. He plays such a big part He deletes the dance app because it's making noise resulting in hi-5 getting trashed Mae wants to go save him leading to yeah Good line. I'm just gonna leave him to get deleted. You gotta look out for number one well What good is it to be number one? If there are any other numbers? Don't try to be an actual movie now that boat sailed with a monkey business joke So they go through Spotify where they sail along the sound waves and jailbreak discusses why she wants to get to the cloud Did you realize it on the first emoji said a woman can either be a princess or a bride? That's why I need to get to the cloud where you can be whoever you want to be Okay, first It looks like there's a lot of female emojis there so clearly has changed second didn't they say that Smiler was the original emoji does she not count in those two choices third princess is really not a personality This is very different from this, but whatever maybe she just doesn't like the idea of emojis Whatever the reason is she wants to go to the cloud so they go into the trash to save high-five leaving all the other trash Characters to die a slow and horrible death normally I'd be upset that with a movie, but honestly I'm more frustrated with how many characters don't die in a particularly odd scene and that's saying a lot for this film mess parents look through not Riley's pictures with his folks and they have I guess a Tender moment I say I guess because I honestly have no idea. This is supposed to be heartwarming or funny right now I'm so overwhelmed with passionate feelings for you Burns with the intensity of a red-hot flame we'll always have Paris marrying So they make it to the drop box and ride their way to the fire wall they try different Passwords they think not Riley would have using meds different expressions But they all fail we've tried all the important things in Alex's life his favorite pet Sport is a favorite grandma. If only this movie gave him a personality like finding out that he has a favorite grandma That's the most I know about him But high five so an email in the trash to a girl he liked but never talks to and I guess it turns out That's the password I Guess that's romantic you having the password be a person you never talk to If you're a stalker Hey, it's a creepy ass clock already they make it to the cloud though and men miss he wants to stay with jailbreak she turns him down though because Movies, I like you just the way you are, but I had a plan. I'm not just some princess gene waiting for my prince Doll that old excuse if I have a plan and we suck at writing emotional conflict timeless tale Now leaves but gets captured by one of the bots and jailbreak decides to go back and save him. Let's go get him I suddenly want to write in all caps and hate everything Mess brought back to be deleted, but his parents come in to speak up for him. I am the same malfunction gene does And it doesn't affect my voice because you know I got a schtick jailbreaking high-five crashing But it looks like it's too late as the users deleting the phone to fix it however the girl He likes is there, and it looks like How do I even explain this they can always send an emoji to her and since mez the only one that can do a bunch? of different emojis It's decided he should go because you know sometimes a Sony phone and an emoji can get you the love of your life Yep, that's what we're doing. That's that's what a super cool. Emoji a lot of feelings in one I got it I Like that you're one of those guys who can actually express his feelings you know through the most unemotional laziest way possible He pushed a button Do that he stops the phone from being deleted because She found love and all of techstop, Alyssa's putback high-five is so emotional. He does even match his voice to his lip movements So there was really a jackass who said we should ADR him more dialogue They have a big dance party because I think it's law now every animated film should end with one and the emojis are used once Again to replace all human emotion a fair analysis for this goddamn. Movie as a whole And that is one of the most hated films to come out of recent years and believe it or not I might have an unpopular opinion Oh I still hated it, but I think it's just run-of-the-mill bad I've seen much much much much Much worse in all my years Reviewing this film does have a touch of creativity at least two inventive lines and enough of a visual eye to be colorful and somewhat Imaginative, I've seen films that have none of those qualities But I'd be lying if I said I didn't understand why it has pissed people off so much the corporate Advertising is not at all hidden Which wouldn't be too bad if they could utilize it in a clever way like the lego movie did work it into the? Storytelling like why couldn't we find out more about the kid through the phone? Maybe looking through his history of pictures and text we could see his flaws and maybe the flaw is time - the problems the emojis are going through but if we did that we Wouldn't have our bullshit resolution We're a Sony product saves the day it is bad, and it's important to remember why it's bad So other films trying to do commercial tie-ins because let's be honest there's gonna be plenty of those in the future Can at least work it into their story better, so yeah? I can't even say it's one of the worst films I've ever seen take that for what it's worth. I guess as an advertising tie-in It is uniquely bad But as a bad movie among a sea of bad movies all I can give it is an honest and simple meh I'm the nostalgia critic, and I deserve to be challenged by a more creatively bad movie scooby-dooby-doo There's a third one? Words are cool Hey Doug Walker here doing the charity shout out in this week we are doing children incorporated This is an international nonprofit Organization that helps provide support to children primarily through child sponsorship and partnering with nearly 300 projects in 23 countries around the world they believe that all children deserve access to basic needs and an education so that they may be healthy and have the opportunity to become contributing members of their communities Thanks to past and current supporters around the globe they serve over 20,000 children annually to date over 300,000 children have been provided opportunities for growth and education and have experienced the support and encouragement their program provides if you look at their site in their YouTube channel you can see all the various ways they help and encourage children To be everything they can possibly be there's so much love and dedication that's spread throughout this organization And you can play a big part in that Click on the link and see how you can help a child achieve his or her full potential
