The Difference Between Jail and Prison – Ali Siddiq

see it's the difference between jail in prison totally different totally different jail you got a lot of hopes that you're gonna get out of here prison you decide for what you're gonna sign for you gotta start walking you walk locking your mind in been out 20 years man you know i still go in the bathroom in my own house go in the bathroom sit down and turn that water on so i can have some noise disrespect is the number one thing they do out there in society and anything like me this is why i find disrespectful and i don't like cause i don't like lines man i don't like lines and that's a it's a direct effect from being in prison i don't like lines at all i don't like people standing close to me and they disrespectful this is how much space i give you if i'm behind you in line i'm gonna give you this much space in the free society you may want to start [ __ ] salsa and i'm not gonna be in your way i'm gonna give you this much space people in the free society they up on you like this and you like say man can you back the [ __ ] up a little bit man people in the free society they don't give a [ __ ] about no space as soon as you move never been in the grocery store you ain't lying you stand like a normal human they come up like i know damn well i know damn well my man ain't upon me like that and you as a normal human being you try to scoot up a little bit you know okay i'm normal i'm cool as soon as you move up i tested this dude one time i was gonna see how deep it was gonna go i stepped to the side this mother came right behind me i said man get your ass back over there follow me around this damn grocery store so let me tell you why i don't like lines man when you locked up there's some gates man and before you go on that cell they say take your white off just keep your boxes on so you move to this gate and they packing people in here they packing people in you don't want you don't want anybody up on you like hey man give me some space all this me right here all this me so then you you're a rational person you understand that if i had clothes on over there i had boxers on right here it's another gate yeah i'm gonna end up naked over there i can see this i can see the process coming so next gate they process you come to the next gate soon as you go they say get them boxes so now you damn sure don't want everybody talking to you now you won't always pay you because you're naked it's your first time that you like yo all this me right here dudes talk with you hey man what you in here [ __ ] killing [ __ ] talking to me negan get your ass away from me don't want nobody talking to me man and then [ __ ] getting worse cause you come out man in the line they taking people out and you hearing them you hear them you ain't paying attention all the way you hear them heal the show hear the thought now if this your first rodeo you ain't and you don't know what hill the toe is so this is a person they want you to come out put your heels put your toes on their heels i walked out i ain't know what that means i just stood in line man say um screwed up we don't want no gaps in the line you say man all the way up heal the toe um i said i can't stand up like that how you both stand up look at me no i can't stand up like that he's go up turn around put your toes on it so i'm standing like this i'm leaning on the dude if i'm like i say hey dog no disrespect gonna just lean right here cause i don't want my meat all up on you i'm good man he brought some more people i said hold on man he brought two more people i slid out of line y'all y'all go up i'm gonna be in the back man be in the back that man came back and said did you move i said yeah cause you brought two more people and they they look like they're very comfortable with the heel of the toe and i just want to hold it back down that's that's that's cool you say man don't move no more i say well don't bring no more people the officer said boy if you move again we gonna beat you and see i'm i'm i'm one of them people you got to prove that to me i'm like yeah whatever as soon as that man left he brought another person as soon as he left i said man going up i'm gonna hold it back down i bet i've been in the back i'm gonna stay in the back the officers took me in the back they wore me out a little bit they they beat me down so they brought me back i'm raggedy i'm raggedy and they put me back in the line so i'm in line and they got me heal the toe got me heal the toe but i'm so resilient that i didn't turn my feet still stable but i didn't turn my whole body this way i'm standing like this and the officers come by and say yeah as long as your ass don't move i say hey long as i got penises on my side not on my ass i'm good you

Channel: Comedy Central Stand-Up

Views: 1,409,227

Keywords: Ali Siddiq, Comedy Central Stand-Up Presents, Ali Siddiq comedian, Ali Siddiq stand up, stand up, stand up comedy, comedy central stand up, comedy, comedians, comedian, jail, prison, lines, heel to toe, funny, funny video, comedy videos, jokes, funny jokes, funny clips, laugh, humor, best comedy, best stand up

Id: Bsc6s_9P6EU

Length: 5min 59sec (359 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 26 2022