The Bit with the Ducks (James Veitch is a terrible roommate)

[Applause] hey guys i uh i got into quite a bit of trouble recently um with my uh my flatmates do you you're they call them flatmates here do you call them uh roommates right yeah okay so i got in trouble with well she messaged me and she said james um would you mind uh taking your clothes that are drying in the bathroom and moving them into your bedroom uh take your clothes at drying in the bathroom moving to your bedroom because my mum's coming over she hasn't met you before uh she hasn't seen the place we lived before i want to make a good impression so i did that i took all my clothes dry in the bathroom i put them uh in in my bedroom and uh there was still a bit wet as well so hero but then it transpires guys all you need is like what is that like one two three four five six bags of flour and like an afternoon and a little bit of creativity and you could pretty much make yourself like a full-on kind of drugs um i would say sort of in in in in the house and then obviously you know you don't just you know you keep you have to obviously be a little bit creative and then i found you know and then i thought i thought and then obviously you know i thought it was a bit subtle so then what i did is i had like a obviously a tick book you know like people owe me money uh you know four drugs uh that i sold them and then and then you know that was i mean i'll be honest you you have already enjoyed that far more than she did but the thing is is that i don't know where i don't know where the line i don't know where to like stop you know me i basically that was just a precursor to what happened next which is when i first moved in there to that shared accommodation uh they had a big meeting with all the housemates and we sat around and they told me all the rules and stuff and then they said look james we've got these little boxes that we got from ikea that we keep our toiletries in and we've cleared one out for you and i was like hooray but i don't have any toiletries so what i ended up doing was just basically i just i just filled mine with basically as many as i could because i thought that was very funny and then and then every promise every time i went in there i would start to kind of like rearrange them you know what i mean i was having a great time and then and then this is genuinely happy and then and then you know one day i got like narrative you know i got more like a chase scene was kind of you know happened and then after like four to five months they started to develop their own kind of you know religion based around the kind of different kind of aspects of the of the kind you know and then honestly it was beautiful they had they had a wedding that was such honestly that was such a beautiful day that we were so lucky with the weather everyone looked to me it was really it was really beautiful and then halloween um from like from six to eight months down the line they generally started to get very sophisticated they still develop their own kind of culture like entertainment they started to make their own kind of movies they there's a few blockbusters it was this was beautiful it was like do you know what i mean it was a really lovely it was a lovely moment oh there's more [Music] the problem is is that i you know i i got more and i started to make it seem as if they were like generating from the from the drain you know i mean and then the problem is i don't know if you know this guys but if you if you go online right if you if you go online you can actually you can get these like you can you can buy these wholesale um from china this genuinely happened this is i didn't i was just a lot of time on my ideas i staged nuremberg in the past this got me to significant trouble this was not good that that was when i got the message james we did we need to talk about the dark that's not a message anyone wants to get should i mean and i i i was like the duck could always be denying that i was just denying that you know and she said the bathroom ducks i was like that was at the bathroom she said the duck's in the bathroom i was like oh the those ducks what about them she said please stop i was in a rush this morning but i couldn't shower until i'd moved like a hundred tiny tucks i said okay sorry about that from now on no more tiny ducks i'll i'll be honest some of you have spotted that loophole far quicker than she didn't she genuine she did not see this coming this hit like a ton of bricks i was not you know [Music] huh [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] she said i'm away this weekend by the time i get back i want all dark it's got me to be fair to her it was getting quite hard to move around the flat there were a significant number of ducks and i said look can i have one duck in the bathroom and she said one [Applause] [Music] [Applause] thank you everyone fantastic thank you so much

Channel: James Veitch

Views: 1,577,093

Keywords: James, Veitch

Id: uYOmtEcZ1lk

Length: 6min 6sec (366 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 23 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/Catinthemirror]

This bit is something I've seen dozens of times and it still cracks me up, just wanted to share.

[u/ZiaWatcher]

I love this video so much, I watch it so many times.

[u/some1american]

That massive lead up to a shitty pun?

Well done.

[u/CodPolish]

Veitch is a rapist :(