The Best of Paul Lynde on Hollywood Squares

[Music] all right back to the matter of money lolly please say paul uh when is it a good idea to put your pantyhose in the microwave oven for about two minutes when your house is surrounded by the police studies at the university of wisconsin show that you'll probably live longer if you love only one man or woman at a time but it is all right to alternate does mark spitz believe swimming in the nude helps you go faster well it's easier to stare [Applause] according to the world book what's the main thing we get from honduras you got it too according to the new book of knowledge the most important use of leather is for what to hold animals together [Applause] paul end paul true or false women smokers in uganda traditionally put the lit end of the cigarette into their mouths don't tell me what they do with their chewing gum i have to take paul in on one all right according to the constitution what's the proper term for our form of government at the moment shaky or will you accept [Applause] marriage kills love marriage kills love and love kills what 20 minutes when a man falls out of your boat and into the water you should yell man overboard now what should you yell if a woman falls overboard full speed ahead historians say that king henry viii had anne boleyn beheaded because she couldn't do one particular thing what convince henry viii he was henry the first a friend of yours offers you to give you something called a french 75 what is that a french 75 just a minute that's 25 morning was the last [Laughter] uh pride anger covetousness i can never say that lust gluttony envy and sloth are collectively known as what of the bill of rights [Applause] in what state was abraham lincoln born in what state like all of us naked and screaming [Music] [Applause] how many men on the hockey team about half [Applause] uh paulian de glassies like the center fall in in the wizard of oz in the wizard of oz what was it that dorothy had to do to get back to kansas trying to remember what the tin man wanted [Applause] what did she have to do to get back to kansas she had to go to the wizard go to the wizard i agree no she had to click her uh little slippers three times she had to click the slippers now let me explain something to matt paul is not the secret square it is worth uh a lot of cash that trip and everything how are you going to play paul in all righty for 250 paul has a cat ever been known to survive a fall of 19 stories yes so we had to be thrown off again the tin man wanted a heart and the lion wanted courage what did the straw man want he wanted the tin man to notice [Music] fifty dollars according to the bible king david was not allowed to build the temple because he sinned what wasn't moses allowed to do because of his sin uh build a shopping center near the temple [Music] according to a guide to contemporary living it's always the best gift for a nun what is always the best gift for a nun carton cigarettes carton of cigarettes i was raised by nuns they know i'm just being silly true false nylon is stronger than steel but steal panties don't turn me on is it especially difficult to train an ostrich to become a sheepdog yes they can't lift their leg without tipping over there anything on earth that can flap its wings faster than a hummingbird how about an owl in a forest fire call in please paul at what famous place in america will you find couples strolling arm-in-arm along flirtation walk and smooching at a place called kissing rock leavenworth we all know paul about the destruction caused by forest fires but does anything good ever come out of a forest fire ever had bros venison does anne landers think there's anything wrong with you if you do your housework in the nude [Music] no but i have to be terribly careful when i do my ironing [Applause] paul you've got a secret according to psychologists if you're average if you're average will you probably tell it to a man or to a woman if i tell it to a man he might hit me days beverly hills neighbors paul recently made doris get rid of some things she was quite quite fond of what her musical hide-a-bed and three korean acrobats i don't know there's a new bra on the market that squeaks in various musical tones the hills are alive [Applause] it's the major cause of itching in old folks oh eating shredded waiting bad within two within two how many husbands have the three gabor sisters had among them you mean including their own recently stated it's a carnival atmosphere but i can understand its popularity it's a batchy sweaty funky life but i enjoyed it what is it a choir girl has there ever been a nine pound goldfish yes and it started in the japanese version of jaws [Applause] scientists say that a small child will believe the story that the stork brought him easier than he will how it really happened what do you mean really happen [Applause] [Laughter] you are a gorilla's worst enemy what are you a discount furrier can a moose remember anything just enough to have more moose according to hugh hefner is inflation a big problem in the playboy empire inflation did you see miss february [Applause] according to research who are the loneliest the loneliest people around uh chrysler dealers according to the song the bear went over the mountain to see what he could see what did he see oh it was awful look at me ranger bob was dressed up like joan benner [Applause] with 250 in cash what's so unusual about all the secretaries in saudi arabia [Music] they don't take shorthand or showers oh come on anything bring tears to a monkey's eyes learning that tarzan swings both ways six hundred dollars for vicki here according to the food editor of the dallas morning news what's the best reason for pounding meat oh loneliness [Laughter] [Applause] according to the book an encyclopedia of fairies who's generally who's generally better looking a fairy or a pixie looks aren't everything [Laughter] [Applause] who's generally better looking according to this book called an encyclopedia for fairy a fairy or a pixie better looking well three-door ice and water side by side the first three-door refrigerator freezer with a patented separate ice and water dispenser completely free of frost made by world famous amana plus golden grain macaroni and cheddar dinner is made with enriched grillable macaroni and premier cheddar cheese from golden grain macaroni company and serve it in elegant rest and destroy distressed tawny oak dining furniture by keller exclusive armor guard high pressure lemonade tops protect against pills it's more than just dining furniture it's color plus a zenith panorama sophisticated 25 inch diagonal chroma color 2 tv console with color sentry the automatic picture control system and xena the quality goes in before the name goes on that's it peter ladies and gentlemen i hope you had a good evening i thank the stars on behalf of them peter marshall saying have a good evening see you next time [Music] shut up

Channel: Post-Apocalyptic Malone

Views: 1,142,271

Keywords: Paul Lynde, Hollywood Squares, 70s TV, Game Show, Comedy, Comedian, 70s Game Shows, 70s Comedy

Id: ebBh2pjpIXc

Length: 13min 48sec (828 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 28 2022

Reddit Comments

[u/Fleegle1834]

Just his laugh would crack me up when I was a kid.

[u/we_belong_dead]

When I was a little kid I spent entire days in front of the television during the summer when my mom was at work. Game show after game show, with the occasional drunken comic showing up on Mike Douglas. My earliest male role models were Paul Lynde, Charles Nelson Reilly, Chuck Barris, and Rip Taylor.

It's a miracle I'm a straight as I am (which to be honest isn't that straight).

[u/rraattbbooyy]

Fun fact: Paul Lynde was the inspiration for the voice of Roger the Alien in American Dad.

[u/DrCooperman]

I was more of a Shadoe Stevens fan myself.

[u/secretskwerldoms]

I just loved him.

[u/EasyRed]

A few are pretty brutal.

[u/milehibear72]

OP thank you, this was a worthy trip down memory lane. Oof how many of those went over my head.

[u/CassandraVindicated]

His jokes hold up surprisingly well.

[u/[deleted]]

I loved him as a kid on Bewitched. He and my uncle started my love of gay men (as a straight woman).