The best of Hignfy series 26

you've been a sports woman in your timing you no stranger to the urine test yourself with you yeah I'm no stranger to it so you're a sports woman as well I have a sports woman yes I have to be tested believe I'm a wonder to medical science can rush you wouldn't be a Germany I'm like Marilyn Monroe in East Germany and what were the allegations were really scuppered him he likes Hitler and he's likes two great women he likes great women against their will and how do you dismissed the allegations I didn't do anything I did not mean that Hitler I did not mean the German guy I know a guy who sells pumpernickel me where I live I think it's a good man I do not grow up any woman good look at that sorry we at your Vika this is the Fijians who hit Vickers and other people as well it was a man called the Reverend Thomas Baker all donors who boldly went to Fiji to spread the word mm-hmm and accidentally hit the King on the head he brushed him with his hand which you're not allowed to do to Fijian Kings so the King turned around with an axe and took his head off his descendants have come back to England to say sorry apart from the apology what else are they doing a big dinner finger buffet and what was he served with what would you serve with a Methodist lemon he passed the sauce surely they react as if for years we've been listening to eating Methodists guy I was alright the same are we in Methodist going on well three of them illusionists and one of them is just Peter foul [Music] Oh I didn't feel like an answer that help [Music] David Lane he's still alive is he as we speak who cares a friend of Mines got this theory that when the crane goes up there to wash the box a double sneaks in under the blanket that's exactly what happens the real David Blaine gets in the crane goes down again into the cabin has a huge breakfast miss his girlfriend watches it early next morning crane goes up watch watch watch under the blanket again that's exactly what happens you know this to you well you know you'd be seriously ill now if he was doing it for real and he's a magician so magicians don't do things are real they a powerful when they get their throats ripped out by Tigers what started as a card trick Tigers don't like being made fools of is that a car do you think I have no evidence for that at all I just Nick someone said it no it's quite true that's how it's done but we haven't gotten loved one out yet and oh right yeah so tell us which one it is it could be a bit of a poisoned chalice oh for God's sake David Blaine is the odd one out because he's the only one who hasn't had his food tested the cabinet alham there's no sitting hairs again because you couldn't get the answer the food testing work for Jonathan King there's another prisoner sort of eat use didn't say there was nothing wrong with that the other person in the picture was george w bush now what did Tony Blair present bush with as a present earlier this year apart from the British Armed Forces he was actually a toilet bag what's the difference I don't know because I've never tasted a Dunkin donut which implies I've eaten the toilet bags we all get lonely and they decided to illustrate this fact by showing a map of Britain with suggestions of places she might like to live based on her song titles such as oops I done did it again [Music] hit me baby one more time a place will blame it it's in this turn Nigel Lawson was the Member of Parliament oh really we've justified your appearance money um you see if I was doing this thing I get a bit bored after what I just saw that hit me Bracknell one more time was that a chief of Brac law a domestic abuse in general in brittany has recently been seen out with which heavily tattooed rocker do you know Richard fred durst of limp Biskit emotional scenes of the wedding in spain as the bride's [ __ ] lover refuses to accept that it's all over somebody took the country over for just 20 minutes I don't know which 20 minutes they were but can you tell me who that was from beyond the grave she returns there's Paul Borel I'm her rock that's a lot of copies of oh it's not conserves a newspaper for a minute then there's Prince Philip laughing as well he might this week for years we thought that Prince Philip was a bad-tempered old bugger and here he is I mean he's working for relate nowadays he's a question I'd like to ask he's like somebody who says that I'm gonna be killed in a car crash and I'm gonna have terrible brain damage if you had that feeling wouldn't every time you got into a car wouldn't you put a seatbelt on because she knew the Duke of Edinburgh was up on the roof of Buckingham Palace with a walk directing race to a satellite Linda he liked her he said you stupid boy why do you leave Diana for that old boot I'm rephrasing thee I don't think she did write that letter to her Butler it's in his possession I mean would you write a letter someone who's standing there saying I think I'm going to be killed yes relationship because in his book my 20 years of groveling they said that at one point she was very very upset who had the title Her Royal Highness taken away from her she was really gutted about that so afterwards he would come in every morning with a cup of tea saying here's your cup of tea your Royal Highness sipped a reminder as if to remind ya to be her boy honey she had to stay married to the juggies philanderer Vinci [Applause] drunk in that pub the other thing is the brother who wrote this letter saying dear sister you're completely nuts pin says I was trying to help her medical technique is actually there's a mental hospital or another standing over there what you think you're going I mean it's like the old that we he discovered this letter just before he published a book which the letter was in that is curious isn't it I mean normally say six years after you've discovered a letter saying someone had a premonition of their death you would hand it over to the relevant authorities which I don't think are the Daily Mirror he was on trial for theft I mean the suggestion was he was in possession of a lot of stuff that wasn't his and he is honest Tony Blair say at 11:23 [Music] ignore it ignore it go that was on this Sunday this was the Tuesday yeah did he say he said look I'm on very heavy medication and I really don't know what's going you can be Prime Minister he said point is a Joey Adams somewhat happy work cut out with your lot really wouldn't he well I think that the Alex Ferguson is just about just know I think I won't say any more than that you're lovely he ordered into a Whitehall anyone for tennis [Applause] lastly what's wrong with this man he's divorcing liza minnelli and he claims that he's got brain damage because she used to hit him a lot like a man with brain damage he does seem to have had quite a lot of plastic surgery done but not by a plastic surgeon they all built their own bowling alley except the Pope who inherited the one that was already in the Vatican sustained air escaping swings they bounce straight back our girl the new labor guide to what jogging through that heart attack when you start palpitating getting the trainers on to get out it Beckham's only been there a few months but he already has a vocabulary of more than 100 words all he has to do is learn them in the sparing the wall bollocks without a joke about David Beckham not doing English very well yeah and that brings us to the end of tonight's contest and the final scores are as follows final scores are as follows Ian and the urns I'll read your daddy scroll down alright we should the other ones I have seven and Paul and Linda have 12 [Applause] gift that I have I've been told we have to be clear about where our allegiance lies and I'm I'm there now with that [Applause] Forrest Johnson is the man to lead this country back to the 17th century I want to see a nation full of befuddled people who really don't know what's going on they said the leader needed his head examined not to follow around tongue and yes you you know when you're on the Today programs and you have a guest on yes to talk about one thing yes and you say we'll look while you're here can we do something else you're not going to be rude to me no it's just you do do mastermind now don't you guy do well we thought while you were here your name please John Humphries mr. Humphries your specialist subject is the life and times of John Humphries and your time startsnow who said in an interview earlier this year to lose your temper is unforgivable if John Humphries correct and what did he then do during the today program on the morning of Friday the 17th of October this year it was reported in the newspapers that he threatened to resign he lost his temper didn't he shouting in the background according to the Guardian well shouted according to the Guardian what phrase did you use to describe the England Football team during the 2002 World Cup you said they were a bunch of overpaid tossers [Applause] that's still your view pass in 1995 what did you give us a present to the venture answer of the extend clock a calculator and when I handed it to him the joseph's check has said oh what's this isis calculator he said ah I've never really figured out how to work one of these things in 1995 who suggested the BBC should be renamed the Blair Broadcasting Corporation and accused you of ego-trip interviewing Jonathan by 2002 how many invitations to appear on The Today programme had Tony Blair turned down since coming to power couldn't count 40 how many times says Blair appeared on breakfast with Frost 45:19 on The Today programme on 2002 you meant to say I've started so I'll finish I've started so I'll finish someone had a go at you remarking ironically about your nice balanced package that I never did find out her name it was in Duncan's mr. Humphries your score is who cares [Music] I'm roasting dough see you in court assume it's got something to do with The Simpsons which is but pronounced dog just a little detail there it's alright dough like dough fees name listeners but I assume it's not the radio Jones picking you know what [Applause] working there is this story which we can't be told which is which I'm sure you know the truth of John about this great scandal it's gonna bring the ball family down but we can't be told what it is people like you shouldn't know really people like me [Applause] check my company your last shows good if you go out for piss at the wrong time like Titanic I went out for piss in the middle of that I came back to the boat Y Z's hair where is that clue in the title Rock horror yes this is the the story was never the family that was badgered to find the Badger I was really hurt a 12 year old boy was chased two hundred yards all the way home yeah he ran in slammed the door in the Badgers face and then it the Badger shot through the cat flap a cannoli wash we got hold a potato peeler the mom came home the Badger overpowered her took over her identity and her credit cards she was locked down in the cellar when the husband came home for us when little bit pissed walks in sees a figure in the bed wearing a negligee thanks to yourself is it Friday night already and before you know where he is my honor you go oh my god off the badger well he was arrested because the Badger of course is a protected species well Luke stepfather arrived back home only bad thing do you know what he said you're looking particularly luring tonight my dear what he actually said was it's the stare which gave me the creeps anybody know how they caught the bug yeah with the jam sandwich yeah I knew signature didn't match the back of the credit card was a fire on the quiz were the hats completely rogue yeah the shaving brushes his profile his mates [Applause] uncle George Terry mr. Peters they said they were terrorized but two hours there were lots in the hospital I mean this you can see in the house for two hours where you can run out of KitKat's two hours what are we gonna do wait for the bachelor piss off you see the other unusual animal in the news this week world's smallest hamster got in one peewee the world's smallest Amster there is that 50 people over killed in custody he's now the world's flatness hamster he's getting bigger as the days go by so the crown of the world's smallest hamster will soon be passed to somebody else with it no no no he's got a rare hamster disease that means he's only that big forever he's quite terrible dies horribly on the show they all lost Bank of England thinking of replacing 50 pence bits with this hand maybe change more interested [Laughter] just push it in with no game of a surprise so he can be staying in he'll change we'd be slowly moving around in your pocket Rod Stewart like that one of the aurora been in trouble before oh I know what happened when when they launched it the the the champagne bottle didn't burst on the side well that is true yes is that the one where they had to break Princess Margaret over it no this gin came out he's won seven marathons in seven days basically yeah he had a triple bypass operation about four or five weeks ago and like Tony blade jumped through that heart attack I'm very arisal to his partner was a doctor wasn't it yeah dr. Michael strauder hip Taschen the dozerman with him pushing a life-support machine behind him on a trolley well there was a man running behind him with something what was he running behind him with tickets for an Aurora cruise is that someone's running behind with a defibrillator the whole time Oh were they yeah that's the real achievement I think oh yes yes yeah I fell behind running with that well and every time you slowed down he put it on his off [Applause] the whole marathon was just the power walk man there's hundreds of them with pumps and me but what was he specifically advised not to do by his doctors don't go running and whose idea was it his presumably I was actually dr. Mike Stroud Oh was he a guy with a machine once the visit Egypt it was a visit New York Jew is going to seven marathons in seven days I'll come with you have it fines and struggle to keep each other going did they listen to a compilation of Lulu's greatest hits there's no loop there with them oh no on a portable stage being pulled along behind because if you got if you got the generator there for the defibrillator you must have a stage show tonight this costume the makeup she got very annoyed because the defibrillator was dreaming the power to the stage she can turn them on a sixpence that woman yeah that's what they said on top gear actually the gallon did you know that the top comes down in hot weather so a lot of 60s pop singers turned off for the station half past 11:00 at night the chances are the mini cab that picks you up will be Petula cloud don't have to go downtown next if this were the future what would I be doing music yeah this is the this is the nude the Japanese have come up with a new mobile phone that works with the bones in your ear and so when you want to make a call you just put the finger in your ear and you can hear and this is the new yo looking at me as if I'm making it up and it's a new new mobile phone you put your finger in you ear when you've got a cross line you put a finger in that here because some of you don't wanna speak to you stick your finger I don't really know I wouldn't want to get a fax eeehm whose side are the gnomes on in Lord of the Rings they're all over the place but they're very small you can't really see them so it's difficult to count I would love it if that had been one of the outtakes from Lord of the Rings all your gear it's memory I'm in the arvid's you've got what about gnomes and gal their mouth has just got the vanish more the hunter but kind of just shut up coroner's report see he can take on an orc you think could take it all yeah let me see problem if you had five of them riding on squirrels the bloke who's the Australian Darth Vader no seriously there's a bloke who win because Prowse cost too much money to fly over so whenever they do anything on Australia there's a bloke who puts the costume on are you applying for that job is relationship to Gandalf right can you do the voice very very well Newcastle I'll be the Geordie Gandalf I'm not some conjurer of cheap tricks the fellowship is together out of egg shape now let's have a look at the Lego Gandalf looks like you're eating a seal vomiting it's up what do you think you like it's got a real of easier what do you think in there that's a real one of you it's a nice nice beer Canada well yes this is a 19th century object it's very clearly it's China into the pocket elephant against 44 dwarves oh this is the thing where they have 44 Dwarfs and can they pull an elephant take it to the pictures of each other shoulders next guardian can what but won't is it didn't print the name of the the royal servant they can name him yeah his name's Forsett yeah that's the run off the name force it yeah Michael Fawcett yeah well that's a very disappointing outcome to that I wish can you afford to name I recognize didn't you involve a member of the royal family I believe it did not know Prince force it is probably bollocks but it'll do well 50% of its bollocks the other half I think is what is the one thing that's not gonna be happening on this occasion all the write down the mouth Queen it's been with the cheering crowds yes cuz there's an element missing on the subject of Diana which we kind of are did anyone see the startling news quiz she's not dead is she don't see the startling and previously unreleased image of Diana in the mirror this week waxworks oke waxworks yeah it's a waxwork from two swords not admittedly madame tussauds but two swords in great Yama he has another eliwood marry it that is indeed Prince William next it is to anybody a lot more wax in person loses oh that's not Lucan gram Gooch judging by the sake in both is his it's Ian but when does a waxwork become libelous this is the classic if you were a car what kind of car if you were a fish what would you be would not be a shark what would you be yeah what depends what job are applying for okay accountant I'd be a sort of flounder if it was an estate agent I'd be a shark if it was pensions officer yeah caliber video Shaughnessy is a fictional character that's are still from The Maltese Falcon is to do with something she does in the film I think Ian knows everything about goats she's a bike it's it's a magnum opus she drinks champagne she eats ice creams I don't know Mac and guns she kills somebody with a gun Magnum magnum p.i she's a probably investigate yes I'm something to do with private ah yes oh that's awfully good nonsense which I would guess is equally important is this the new legislation this week governing the height of rocking horses introduced into the European Union better seat can be no higher than 60 centimeters off the ground what about antique rocking horses will they be destroyed in a fiendish car I'm here my pretties come here or just be given their freedom and let into the wild beautiful sight that will be thousands of NT rocking horses scaling with a cream that's six down anytime notations been fun really will be televised won't it I was a when they set the rocking horse it's true yeah I think so yeah there'll be a commentary by David Dimbleby and now we see the first David Attenborough will be out and among the rocky it is a striking one so it's incredible amongst the rocketing the majestic rock backwards and then inevitably fall [Applause] it'll be on bbc1 all night called rocking with horses this could have far-reaching consequences already they've had to make a few cuts to the script for finding Nemo - which now reads various aquarium in Sydney I just hate this misrepresentation of poor old Nemo well crack on shall we yeah what is finding Nemo all about them is it on the tightening this fish but it's not as easy as Kirstie made out which is just annoying when the question then knows nothing supposedly an o-ring on the autocue needing Nemo her name was Tiffany Roberts and what she had is known as foreign accent syndrome according to [Music] and I know all about fallen accent syndrome I mean in order to communicate inside prison I had to have a completely new vocabulary with all kinds of completely new words it's time to swap out who takes this away I remember the first thing I was ever advised to do was take the cucumbers and I couldn't understand what this man I feel uncomfortable we have been writing to them via Beckenham palace and it's been since of the Queen God he knows everything I knew I was coming to a news quiz so I unfortunately unlike new Ian and I have had to write them this way finally then who has been declared an unlikely sex god this week do you know it yes thank you will unfortunately that's the wrong answer well no I think he's a sex god everybody put your hand over things Ian's a sex god I think that could be made with a whole bunch of people take the piss altogether the world's sexiest man according to some magazine yeah it's according to the erotic review Gordon Brown not gone Brown Gordon Brown it is yes you see they grain for Gordon Brown they applauded for me actually and jonathan Aitken who rather famously did that rather embarrassing number about the simple sort of truth and how you're going to stamp out the bent and twisted cancer of British journalism I mean I didn't take it personally though I have brought with me this is this was your bankruptcy which we were one of your principal creditors because we called you a liar you probably remember and you sued us and then amusingly you went to jail for perjury I don't a rake all this stuff up it's it's just that you owed us 28,000 pounds in you know legal costs obviously we'd wasted all that money trying to prove something that was true and we only got back fifty P in the pound I mean I don't make a big deal of it but it's it's thirteen thousand seven hundred and two pounds you owe me I'm sorry about that you see you have been studying your soft answer has turned away a flock of Roth anyone know what the Hamiltons have been up to lately this the ultimate cheese party three CDs of the biggest party anthems ever be choose guaranteed to get anybody who's been invited for the party season with the ultimate cheese party it's out now you just let me get it straight [Applause] what is it cheese it's a whole phenomena of completely yeah it's a party where a lot of people go around to each other's houses and get incredibly intoxicated on cheese and pletely off their trolleys sniffing cheese eating it all sorts of baby like that spreading on each other's bodies if you've never been to no I want to go I'll be there we've often thought of asking you but you're just a bit straight listen give me a little slab of edom and I'll show you another side of me he's clearly just circumcised himself very neither very nice job you don't need nice top English language is the answer it's not that new a theory I mean I recently I've been reading a book by dr. Colin Renfrew that was written in 87 when he proposed this theory so it's not really new sorry I'm this is my field really thank God something is a new serie of the woman who didn't know the plaza [ __ ] mean it isn't in your fictional character but this is just a game and it's a headline okay listen you're actually a fictional character and we're shortly gonna be written out next week is to be NIEM I'm sitting over there it's because of swords that we drive on the right yeah Plains brings all that traffic so at the end of that round the scores are quite even Paul George John and Ringo it's four points each Donald Rumsfeld yes it is has land on him well he won a prize for bad english I think we got a clip very nice Donald Rumsfeld there are known knowns there are things we know that we know there are known unknowns that is to say there are things that we now know we don't know also unknown unknowns there are things we do not know we don't know this is the man with his finger on the button what does he know who else is in the air film with Brad Pitt it's Catherine zeta-jones who was born where she was born in mumbles who was born in mumbles I only know that cuz cuz so was i we share so much talent for litigation mostly this is the victorious England rugby team back in England parade in the trophy around they were football as the cameras would be around the other way which is 10 times more than turned up to protest against George Bush but then we'll take the armed police they're stopping you weather and also people I'm just feel good there's something to celebrate rather than Bush comings a bit of a down there really there were tons of armed police actually and I come to think of it I try to get through on my bike they'd there were that was just for you there was more insulin right at the market that incident with you on a bicycle there wasn't there wasn't any trouble maker was you cycle up Nelson's column in charge of it anyway I'm sure he was right in every respect like a lethal weapon does it have knives that comes out funny it's um are you a suicide cyclist taking tea at the pad is Jonny Wilkinson declared being on the bus was one of the greatest moments of my life to which the Queen replied what's a bus complainers if you're not the one read the Queen speech anyway you just read something out you don't agree with could you give us like a visual signal that she did will abolish [ __ ] something you also a particularly shocking photograph this week we appeared in The Guardian which I think we're going to be able to bring to you now there you go very closely there's something particularly emetic about it and I want you to tell me what what it is it got the seat belt between his legs by accident Gordon I'm sitting very unusually for him in the back of his it's just it's a teddy bear yeah why is that emetic he's got a small child yes I suppose that's true editorial judgment but that's what's me it's not too bad I'm sure on your bike you've got a selection of soft toys many children to hop on the handlebars I'm going to trip up Trafalgar Square with Daddy to meet some friendly policeman you can see half of the parcel shelf the baby could be on the other hand the bear could be an asylum seeker obviously the bear picture attracts widespread support [Laughter] you obviously liked it all right fair enough by repeating in disorder on the on on on the bear on the bear from well done you're dead right right it's to do with the opening of the new toll section yes see of the m6 yes yeah I said that but a bit more fluid you licking me up into a coma Boris no just something about you but when you came out of makeup about five minutes before the show your hair was immaculate and then you must have just done that you'd still qualify this fine anyway [Applause] changed it you look like you just go off a bike anyway there's a reason for that those name the reason that I can think of anyway maybe a reason I can't think of but the problem of that reason I can't think of it now did you just think you study victory I've confused you not a difficult task searching trying to sort of engage a kitten with a bowl of water naturally must go for it so yes is the England rugby world cup team celebrating their victory and they gave me every pot they gave me every surance and this wouldn't happen again in comparison about this about this tall road is also that it has very important new facility for badgers do you buy that yeah imagine a like a cycle lane but it's a badger you've got a stencil pack the bags go along they didn't the Badgers to travel in the same direction they want to great lengths and the taxpayers of this country have gone Magnus to the side of badges those cars go by they stick to them but in fact is the Gordon Brown is making an absolute packet I will speed cameras and it's an iniquity personally children ormally or normally or astringent alright well I take it all back about the bear well captain have one the rugby its brucey yeah he married a Miss World did you know I didn't marry a Miss World I one of my wives was a miss something on the one you know that was 20 years ago the Chinese thought it you know in a degrading tell on theater and now that we'd rather progressive and I don't think it's degrade if they won of the dirt and there's nothing wrong with over them having a beauty contest I think it's nothing worse than building a tunnel for Badger's under a motorway - nobody wants to use I could not fail to disagree with You les what's your favorite Rick Wakeman track it's the one about if the I tell you what it is it's the Arthurian thing right yeah yeah is it called the Arthurian thing Rick well on the reissue it was it was Arthur and all that in on our Hamilton oh nice we did it the Aaron stop that's it yeah and we did it on ice yeah did you really yeah it was a nice shot cuz they I was told I couldn't use Wembley cuz that to get that you leave the ice up for a nice foliage so I said well do it on ice so I built a castle in the middle and put milk strand everything on ice and it was really good until the third night because I had all these guys dressed as as sort of our theory and nights with hobby horses they had ordered dry ice around and there was 25 on each side and they will go round and fight and then kill each other simultaneously and all fall over and the audience will go go man and then on the third night unfortunately one of the guys was ill and it never really occurred I thought 49 Nights is as good as 50 mmm until I'm 40 they went round according there was one guy left all these dudes on film it's hilarious he skated around for about five minutes and their conductor Dave emissions going just going on finding the got you committed suicide [Laughter] I'm thrilled and delighted now I'm looking forward to a year of excitement travel and working for various charities you won it baby you don't have to say that anymore go and spend it on shoes you said babies Miss Islands victory was tainted by accusations that the result had been a foregone conclusion they claimed furiously denied by a spokesman sorry a statement blank look again boys and I must kill the Prime Minister I will tell PC Galloway to go and stop [Applause] greatest characters there is you probably noticed over one Shara Lee's wife told me that when they went to new you wants in he's in his heavy drinking days she had to go and do some business and she was terrified when she left him in the hotel room that he did get paralytic all the time so she told the hotel take the minibar out nothing to be served to the room and as a safety measure she took all his clothes away left him naked in the room and she came back a 4 o'clock knee was legless she complained at the hotel this they swore blind that nobody been up there they sat on the second day and on the third day she came back and he was legless again lying naked on the bed and she said Ozzy I give up no retribution how did you do it he said it's easy once you've gone I'll put one of your dresses on and go down the transvestite the man's a genius by what means he achieved notoriety in 1981 well well there's a few things he first of all he bit the head off a bat and then when I think was CBS to try and calm the situation down organize this big press conference to get Ozzie along where he was meant to apologize and he was going to release there's this dove white dove of peace into the room and he ate that and all it's not vegetarian Ozzie I think it's the Deputy Director General the BBC's appointed someone to look into its complaints a sort of caught brag and Robinson figure and you can write into him if there's anything you hate people drinking water in the middle of questions complain to this man called mark Beaufort mark Byford is noted for his attention to detail could you could you make the Eggman [Music] but you didn't read that right I read the whole thing out and I really exactly what I was I was asked to read and and like the Queen in the Queen's speech I will not deviate from the text one that's resilient towards its of antibiotics and apparently got filthy dirty hospitals and it's out of control and the Queen it's like she's got some kind of stomach bug there Association deep down well and didn't solve it I might be massively liveing him but didn't he get accused of bugging someone's office at some point is it completely wrong well according to to Mike I think I should say it was right on the other side by casting bait wouldn't it yeah it would be well let's have a vote on whether that's right with Boris it counts as a Tory boat racing that lots of people are baby yes everybody now put a new thought into your hey I'll tell you what have I got news for you this is a quiz I know you want to go home Paul I'm sorry but he just seems taken no no I'm gonna keep the momentum going that is absolutely absolutely tuning just try and listen to you construct the sentence whether traffic traffic report avoids and Willie including Tony Blair for breakfast you heard it is yes I think we've all been there have you done that you know we had a picture of Michael Howard saying British cannibal named and then he said I'm eating for Tony Blair for breakfast it's the same joke in a different order well I can assure you that I had absolutely no no no I wouldn't dream of accusing you of anything so calculate you couldn't possibly plagiarize anybody else there is nobody like you unique was very cloudy to say so anyway poor consciousness I am your of your the pressure on your time I'm gonna continue by saying that is the audience some of them want to go home today I'm trying to stop this program going out live anyway thirty-six 60,000 volts show you chicken [Applause] silvio berlusconi said he was the end of a very long day we had a bottle of champagne [Applause] [Music] [Applause] do you know what's going on here absolutely I want to tell you I didn't want they they wanted me to say that almost more than the unimprovable answer no very good help by you saying it's about statues at the same time was out do mr. nasty mr. Boris Johnson cheated I was trying to I couldn't you could have you could have leptin with a right otherwise hand with statues you couldn't you were looking at them when you said statues and and I know what he'd take it that when you have eye contact that means who you want the answer from you see Rick you're talking to Boris of human engagement have been torn up one by zombie guess I'm a surge of adrenaline the end of this sentence by God he'll get there what enters its final stages sorry nears its final stages is it this edition of halal as hours left yet that was a very good James Bond villain look actually wasn't good to say I could see you have you been oh praise for the new James Bond film Bank a very good villain really I'm going to have you do some I'm resolute I in the road I've got to take over the motor core thing big where we live well that's it well but before there's just time for our caption competition no I can't wait anyway Humphrey sheep man is what he said to the Queen an emotional back corners track it get that now I'm not a guy in South River this time with the back a cherry that came Gibbons engine off get on my tits child sister championship this year they should stick with Farhad he jolly well informed about all the subjects you've mentioned yeah Majesty she really is she and remember that one didn't want to brag I was instinctively going to say yes but I had to check oh wait you're confused with some of our lick to stamp once you weren't sure but not the Queen there's been a spate of people stealing trees from the foot from the forest and so they've sprayed them with a special substance which is fine in the outdoors but once you put them into the into the living room and the tree starts to get warm it starts to smell they put the Christmas tree in the corner there central heating zone ago this granny arrived no no it's very Christmas trees well granny merton have a really happy Christmas we won't be coming round legal she's been dead 30 years I'd like to see the Queen truly drunk full of Christmas dinner pissed our head she's the only one so burn entire country record in November she just wore a little paper hat and baby crown

Channel: str1tsa

Views: 303,540

Keywords: hignfy

Id: V0ScK0VhGc0

Length: 58min 33sec (3513 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 05 2020