Tabatha Coffey Chats About "Relative Success with Tabatha"

[Music] hey everybody I'm Liev likley here in downtown Manhattan at the build studio and we're about to talk to a wonderful person we haven't seen on TV in a few years Tabitha coffee do you guys remember Tabatha Coffey we first saw her on sheer genius and then she had a wonderful wonderful show tabatha takes over and now she's going to be back with relative success with Tabitha so if you guys are watching now - make sure to submit a question you can find the button right over here and make sure to ask the question that you want to ask Tabitha she'll be sitting right here right after we watch this trailer for a relative success with Tabitha this season on relative success for this listen this I don't want all the [ __ ] that goes with the six million family of businesses in America are in trouble why do you not know what your business is bringing in that's 24 hours a day seven days a week who wants to buy a house at like four o'clock in the morning you have to market your business it isn't the 80s anymore and when it's family used are all business is personal what have you done for me I've done a lotta much for you that's what you can have everything that you will not take my soul I will not give you my soul you can you trust nobody because you're a [ __ ] I definitely have my work cut out for me can you just give me a second here off and have you head up your asses now that this is helping the business this is a reflection of our family and it's the mess and each family will have to follow my lead for three weeks let's be real about it you did I never invited tabatha to help when you have to work with your relative it can be a bloody mess I just didn't want to fail you know but in the end family I love you thanks mom thank you all that screaming I'm done for two years I could have just done this this is relative success guys look who we're joined by a tab at the coffee that was quite the trailer it was wasn't it it's exhausting wow I mean I'm sure you don't have to really pull for the drama when you're sitting down with families who are running businesses together you know what you really don't if you everyone think about just working with your family every day and then having a family dinner with them you know what the drama would be like so there wasn't a lot that I had to do but definitely me poking around brings a lot of other things up to there bubbling up so let's talk about the show now we are saying a little bit backstage that it's been almost five years since you've been off the air with tabatha takes over which everybody here I'm sure loved I loved that show and I loved when you first hit the scene in sheer genius so talk about coming back with this new show and what you wanted to kind of change on your way back to TV you know what I loved what I did I love the show I loved being part of the Bravo family what I wanted to explore was the relationships and the dynamics and if you look at businesses family businesses are a huge portion of the economy in America and it's a it's a really interesting niche because people go into their business wanting to pass it on to the next generation and that doesn't always happen and then it's all the drama of you would think it would be great working with your family but it can often be the opposite so that was something that I really wanted to explore that I felt really passionate about I think it resonates with everyone and it also felt fresh it felt fresh for me something a little bit different from what I did before and hopefully different to everyone that was watching as well with all the things that you enjoy about the show but looking at it with a kind of fresh twist yeah so you're not in hair salons anymore or do you kind of do you stumble into a hair salon and during relative success I not yet not yet but I'm still in the hair industry so I've never walked away from that we haven't gone in with relative success into a hair salon I'm not saying that won't happen because there's a lot that a family-run so hint hint Bravo just sayin but no I haven't gone in to on this season it's fascinating though and the family thing is just once you're in it I feel like I have eight new families walking away it's pretty amazing the first episode starts in a pizzeria right can you tell us a little bit about this family and what's going on there honestly a rags to riches story just one of those stories that Joe who started this business you just can't help but fall in love with him he's just that guy that you fall in love with and they had the family had some really hard things going on their mother passed away really early he's a single dad he worked his butt off to make this business work to take care of his daughters and son and really worked hard and the next generation are appreciative and love their dad but they want to do it differently right and that's what the next generation does and Joe after 20-something years of being a single dad remarried and you know what that means the stepmom comes in and then she puts her two cents worth and that created this whole nother dynamic and drama on there so a lot of what was just miscommunication and Joe wanting out and the family not wanting out and just all this drama that unfolded so it's a really good one it was great working with this family and I think you'll fall in love with him as well yeah what is it like sitting down and getting to know these families and being a part of a family yourself you have insight but you're also a mentor in businesses so it must be a nice balance to kind of sit down think about the business but also think about what's happening within the family structure it's really emotional and that's that's the thing that I love about this show is it was emotional before you know what I do is emotional because you can see the drama that happens and it's dealing with people's businesses and it's very personal the difference is now that you don't ever walk away from it because it's family so that drama is there and me being in the fold you kind of feel like you're part of the family you're the neutral part of the family that's trying to navigate the waters so it was really interesting to see how and we all do this we carry these really silly seeds of our childhood or our adolescence or whatever it is and take it into our adult life and turn around and go well you were always the favorite well mom always liked you more than me you know and we do all that kind of rubbish and that's a lot of what starts to come up in these businesses and it's so crazy because we're all grown and we should know better and now it's affecting not just the next generation but also the businesses so it was fascinating to see that and be part of that dynamic so you said you spend three weeks with these families and you kind of feel like a part of it is that is that very emotional for you - is it taxing to be kind of like a therapist on top of helping them with their company yeah it's exhausting I mean I when I finished filming I actually went away which I do to kind of just regroup a little bit and pay attention to my family and have a little bit of time and I got so incredibly sick and it was just that closed-down thing because you know I go home and I think about these people all the time so it's a constant thing of are they doing what we talked about are they following through is everything okay and one of the big differences with relative success that you'll see it is three weeks it's not a week that I did before and it's also experimental in a way of letting people take ownership in charge of themselves so instead of me driving the train all the time and being in charge and then giving the keys back and going okay good for you good luck with that it's really over the three-week period checking in and out all the time and giving them homework and things that they need to take care of to see how much responsibility they're going to take for themselves and how you know they're going to really change over that timeframe so it was very emotional because you get to really know everyone because you're with them for so long and kind of take the journey with them and yes you go home and you think about them and what could I do differently why isn't this working why isn't so-and-so on board with this and it stays with you what did you kind of learn about yourself through this experience of anything god I'm tough yeah part of it is God I'm tough and I really do love what I do and I think part of the reason it works is because I really love what I do because I do get so vested in it if it was just a TV show for me or if it was just you know a project it wouldn't work as well but because I really think about these people and think about their business and think about their family and care and I want to coach them through it I mean that's what I do I'm a coach I I want to coach them through not just the personal stuff that is kind of a sticking point for them and make room to change and grow but help their business as well so which family this season really gave you a run for your money somebody whose story kind of sticks out to you as being like wow I can't believe I actually made it through three weeks with this family honestly all of them but in their own way you know for different reasons like when I was just talking about Joe from deloria's pizza that will see tomorrow night to listen to that man struggle and and what happened you know in his life and then that he was such a great stand-up guy too on his own you know like take care of bust his butt to take care of these kids and do everything you could do and really kind of put his life on hold that's a great story that's really inspirational you know and a great thing to see and there are lots of those stories every one is really impactful and emotional for different reasons you know for Joe you root for him because you're like dude you gave up your life your wife passed away it's time for you to get married and have this great hot wife and enjoy it forget what your children think you know so it's that kind of thing and then you'll see another episode where the husband had built this amazing business it was a real artist and he passed away suddenly and no one acted it and all of a sudden it's two different families it's his first wife and his first set of children and his second wife and said in sack of children trying to come together without him being the person that navigated at all and kept it smooth and we all look at it and go I get that right my my mother was married a few times so I get what that feels like and I understand what happened over there so it's really interesting all of them were really great and really hard for different reasons so how did you guys you and Bravo sit down and say I'm ready to come back and did you kind of bring this idea to them that you wanted to expand a bit out of hair salons and do more business knowing that you've you know written books now and you're much more of a coach Bravo and I had been talking about what felt right you know and what felt right for me I definitely needed a break so it was what felt right for me what felt right for them and what we thought would work but we all were on the same page that we wanted to stay in business you know it was in the business realm and that's what I'm known for that's what I love and that's what everyone that watches seems to love as well so it was trying to find what the the fresh version was and yes an expansion on what I do you know I think what a lot of people realize and some realize don't realize is that I am a coach you know I do help people with their businesses I I'm a motivational speaker I speak all the time at organizations that aren't just within the hair industry just talk about business and motivating staff and and being a better version of you and being a better leader so it was a natural step to not just put myself in a box of being hair salon so I know some of my hairdressers are a little upset with me don't hate on me I love you all I'm not giving up on hairdressing it was just I think when you look at businesses in general we can all learn whatever the industry we're in I'm sure working in the hair industry and they you know hair salons taught you a lot about the a motivator and being a coach correct because I'm sure some stuff goes on in a hair salon that goes on in a pizzeria oh sure look business is business and I think when you when you do what hairdressers do which is incredibly intimate and the barriers get broken down really quickly with people and you get inside people's lives really quickly and and you change the way they look and part of that is how they feel about themselves it's a very intimate different relationship than a lot of people have in their jobs and it does allow you to kind of break through things a little quicker and get to the heart of the matter because that's what you do with clients a lot so let's go back to the beginning with sheer genius I loved the show so much it was like the Project Runway of the hair industry what do you remember from that time and and could you see yourself then where you are now not much and hell I remember bits and pieces of it I the funny thing that I remember is it was rough you know like it was rough to leave home and I'm not a girl that rough likes to rough it a lot so living with eleven people that you don't know when sleeping on a bunk bed and things like that that was rough and no I never I never went into that thinking this many years later oh I'd have my own show and I'd you know be part of the Bravo family and no I just went to have a bit of fun what was it like if you can think back didn't you guys have like challenges and you had to do certain and I'm sure you didn't get along with everybody in the cast and I think you guys probably know more than I think I got along with many people in the cast up yeah there were challenges there were you know like a short little challenge and then the big one that you got eliminated I still remember my meltdown when I got eliminate it was epic like it was really epic you got to see maybe two minutes of it I got to live 45 minutes over of me on a tirade of just I lost my mind but it was fun it was really fun and you know I think when you put in that situation and it's competitive and you're passionate about what you do and it's a pressure cooker you're living with complete strangers in a condition that I mean it's not horrible but it's not nice it's not your own home so you don't have you creature comforts you have nothing everything's taken away from you so it's very raw and emotional anyway and after a while it just does your head in and you know you kind of lose your stuff a little bit yeah but all that led to you being like the fan favorite and then of course you landed tabatha takes over and you got to do this show and you've gotten to write books and what does that feel for you to know they you know you went through the hell of that show and now look what happens it was it it honestly wasn't that hell it was just it was challenging but that's why you do it right that's why you put yourself out there to do it and this is amazing I I still I still don't believe her and it sounds a little trite sometimes and I thank all my supporters on social media all the time and say thank you for supporting me because whether I'm on TV or not I have a lot of support and I have a lot of people out there that remember me and come up and want pictures and ask for advice and autographs and things and it is incredibly humbling because you know there's a lot of stimulation out there in the world and it's so great that everyone still supports me and it's excited and this wasn't the plan I'm very happy that it happened so I'm not saying that it was planned somewhere in the universe but it wasn't kind of the goal that I went out looking for but it's amazing and at the end of it I just love that I really can help businesses and you know even if you're watching at home you can you can watch it and go you know what I do that maybe I should change or my family and I speak like that and it's not cool we should maybe do this differently so the kids don't see it and the next generation doesn't do it and I think that is the great thing about what I do it kind of makes you think a little bit but also be entertained is that one of the reasons you decided to to sit down and write I think you have a book coming out called own it soon February no owner has already been out that's that it's been out for a while and it's in paperback so do you want to sit down and write a book like that it was at all this stuff kind of coming together and all the things that you've learned it was the first book was kind of an introduction to who I am and just questions based on what people would ask me a lot and then owner was kind of how to work through what you're working through whether in business or in your personal life and how to overcome some of the crap that we all get on a daily basis so now you'll have to wait for the third one and see what what my journeys been through all of this I'll put a nice little bow on a lot of things with some of the changes that won't be out hopefully very soon and before I had to hustle to the audience I'm very curious how what your experience is like being on TV now versus then have you seen a change in the in the television landscape because so much has it gone on in the past I mean it it's crazy because it hasn't really been that long it feels like it was a blink of an eye it feels like it was yesterday so it hasn't been that long but TVs totally changed I think partly because social media internet right there's it's not just a TV anymore that you have to turn on you can watch from your smartphone you tablet however you want to consume you can consume their shows like this which is amazing so I think it's leveled the playing field a lot which is really interesting and I love that and it's also made it much more diverse and much more interesting and much richer and that's the fascinating thing about it there's some show is it what are some of the shows that you're watching now it doesn't have to be reality but there's just so much content how do you pick what shows to watch it's hard but I love that and I think that's the great thing and I also think that there was and and I'm sure there still is to some extent but but there was this thought that and some people that were on that lovely little box for a couple of minutes thought that they were super special because they were on there and now a lot of people can reach a lot of people and make a difference just from a phone and a computer and that's pretty amazing and powerful and I love that especially to have that one moment on screen and now you have Instagram and snapchat and Twitter and you can use it and kind of push your platform you like a superpower if you use it for good it can be a superpower if you use it for bad it's just annoying yeah I do want to open it up to the audience for some questions so who's first hi so I love that question I don't remember who told me this but someone told me that you need to be like bamboo because you need to always bend without breaking and I think in business you never know what's gonna happen something's gonna change and you can't always plan for the changes that are going to come because you can't even imagine them but you have to always plan for the change and you have to be flexible you just have to if you're too rigid and too uptight and too stuck in your ways you just break and you don't know how to maneuver through kind of the river with all the stuff coming at you so it's definitely flexibility wondering how important do you think it is to kind of get out of your comfort zone or being able to be open to experience failures to get to point of success or where you want to be it's really important to get out of your comfort zone I think the only way we can learn something new is to do something different if we keep doing the same things over and over we don't learn anything we don't learn about ourselves and we don't change a situation and if you don't have any failures it means that you haven't tried anything so they're not really failures they're just opportunities to try something and sometimes they work out and sometimes they don't sometimes that's a good thing when they don't work out because it teaches us about ourselves or about what we really want or what we need to do differently to be able to take a different path so I think everyone gets so caught up on I failed you know it's just terrible I failed the world keeps spinning we're all breathing we're okay we can try again and that's a good thing but the only way to learn and the only way to stretch and the only way to make room in our lives and our careers and our whatever is to do something different and and to try I'm feeling very inspired here guys we have time for one more I have a question about when did you realize that you were so fearless and started taking risks because if we look at your history you started working at 14 and moved to London I moved to the stays and it's like time after time to get invested and you worked so hard but when to that initial beginning start for you as an entrepreneur thank you I mean I'm just as scared as the next person right so I get scared the only difference is I will not difference because a lot of us do is I face it that's all I don't like being held hostage especially by myself so I get scared and I work through the fear until the next one comes up and just keep going through it because you grow and you change and that's the only way to do it i whatever i've wanted to do i just want to try and do it and sometimes you fail and sometimes you get knocked down and you just have to get up and you just have to try again and I think I started that really young and part of that was my mother telling me whatever I wanted to do I should do and part of it was being picked on when I was a kid and really being bullied and realizing that I wasn't going to give those other people power over me so I needed to just stand up and do it for myself and I think that's what we all have to do in business as well is not not to be scared by taking any risks because when you're scared it paralyzes you you can't you just can't move because you're so paralyzed by fear and nothing changes and nothing happens and most of the time it's worse in our head than what it really is cuz we build it up and it becomes this whole thing and then when you face it it's like yes alright so bad I got through that it was fine it was just a little wavy for a minute see we can all be like Tabitha one day we face our fears we're not afraid to fail and we'll succeed well I'm so excited to watch the show airs tomorrow right premieres tomorrow tomorrow elbow we can't wait and we're so excited you're back on our TV screens thank you thanks you guys thank you [Applause] [Music]

Channel: BUILD Series

Views: 21,750

Rating: 4.949367 out of 5

Keywords: AOL Advertising, BUILDseriesNYC, AOL Inc, AOL, AOLBUILD, #Aolbuild, build speaker series, build, aol build, content, aolbuildlive, BUILDSeries, 2018, tabatha coffey, tv, leighb, relative success with tabatha, australian, tabatha takes over, family, drama, reality, bravo, hair salon, lessons, television, businesses, coaching, shear genius, own it, author, fans

Id: 6j_wfTLH4yQ

Length: 24min 59sec (1499 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 16 2018