Stop Making This Trash

I love horror movies and horror games but not for the reason most sane people like things I like them because nine times out of ten they're laughably awful and that always puts a smile on my face I'm built a little different where when something is so trash it becomes a treasure to me like I have the most fun watching or playing horrible garbage and that that sounds a little weird but I've been thinking about it recently and it's something kind of like color blindness you know some people process colors in different ways they don't see them the same way that's kind of me with quality I'm quality blind where when something is so bad I perceive it as being a masterpiece I have so much fun with bad movies or bad games they always make me happy like happier than like a normal good game or good movie sometimes and I know I'm not alone it's a very real phenomenon it's called Fun bad it is always enjoyable to just sit down and watch or play something that is objectively not good and just laugh at it make fun of it you know Point your finger at it shoot spit balls make jokes about it with your friends like it's a good time and for years now horror has been the main genre that's been pumping stinker after stinker blessing us with some Timeless Classic Fun bad content there is more [ __ ] in the horror genre than there is in the scat fetish genre horror has just become like the go-to [ __ ] dumpster of absolute Abominations when it comes to entertainment in movies and games but unfortunately sports fans I think we're starting to enter the dark ages of the horror genre where it's no longer making fun bad content it's just making boring bad content that's no longer got anything redeemable about it at all and the best example of this is the newest Insidious movie The Red Door which I saw last night now before getting into that I want to thank today's sponsor call of dragons huge thanks to college dragons for sponsoring today's video call it dragons is a beautiful new MMO 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again to college dragons for sponsoring today's video you can download it today by clicking the link in the description or by scanning the QR code on your screen or by using Code Cod monster yeah if you use code Cod monster in game you'll get special rewards so thanks again magic monsters Mastery this is the fifth Insidious movie and it is long overstayed it's welcome the parties over the music stopped [ __ ] two movies ago and yet it's still here trying to party and it's just embarrassing now the fourth movie was already overstaying its welcome people were already [ __ ] tired of it then and now it's just sad and desperate they've got this franchise propped up like Weekend at Bernie's it's dead and they're just like puppeteering its corpse right now Insidious the red door has no story to tell whatsoever it has no reason to exist other than try desperately to milk a little extra coin out of the property's name because most people remember the first three movies very fondly especially the first one I remember that being like a phenomenon when that one came out so the name still has weight to it and they're trying their best to just get a little bit more out of it without anything left in the tank so the reason I'm not making a moist meter on this is because I really want to dive into just what makes a horror movie no longer fun bad and it just becomes a sad worthless experience like Insidious the red door so I will be getting into spoilers a little bit in this I'm not going to spoil the whole thing or anything like that but I do need to get into specifics in order to make the point that I'd like to make now Insidious The Red Door is again the fifth entry in this franchise but the beauty of that is you don't need to see any of the other ones to be caught up to speed on this because it doesn't really tie into anything and the only thing that it has is loose connections and the same characters from the previous films you don't need to know anything about their history you don't need to know anything about the world that it's in it doesn't even really need to give you a refresher course on it because everything that happens starts after a hypnotic memory erasing moment so they get their memories sealed away they get amnesia in order to forget all the trauma of their past and then this moves them slowly like realizing that something fishy happened why can't they remember like a whole year of their life and then that's kind of what the movie picks up on so you don't really need any any of the other Insidious background information which is good because I don't think there's a single person in the [ __ ] world who remembers Insidious 4. I feel like we all got memory erased with how bad that movie was because absolutely nobody I've seen online talking about this or anyone I've talked to about it like Tiana and I saw it together and I mentioned Insidious 4 tour and she had no [ __ ] clue what I was talking about I sounded like a crazy person to her and I don't even remember a single plot point from it other than like a Jailer jingling Keys like he was trying to entertain like a twitch audience or something so this is one of the few compliments I can give to the red door at least you didn't need to see the fourth movie in order to understand what's going on here because everything that happens in this film is already nonsensical and self-contained to begin with so the film is all about them getting their memories sealed away you know they they've got it trapped and then it's slowly getting back those memories Dalton the Son and the franchise is going off to college and the dad Patrick Wilson is he's kind of an absent father he's been pushed away and he's always foggy as he calls it his memories aren't what they should be and it makes him upset so he basically abandons his family in order to exist in this Perpetual trance of confusion so he's not a great dad anymore and Dalton resents him for it but he eventually lets his dad drive him to college and he's an art student and he gets a new art teacher who's a real hard ass and she basically brings the demon out of him he goes into like a meditative State under the instruction of the art teacher and then he draws the red door and once the red door is put on the canvas all hell breaks loose and by that I mean two jump scares happen and pretty much nothing else this movie is not even a horror film that's the big plot twist it is legitimately like a CW Supernatural Thriller at best there are very very few horror elements in here other than just very loud jump scares occasionally but even that's pretty rare they ordered a horror movie but forgot the scary they said hey can we put the scary on the side and forgot the side of scary this [ __ ] is so flat and Goofy so Dalton after drawing The Red Door a hand like slaps his hand he's like oh no so then he rushes back to his dorm in order to keep painting it and figure out what this means because now he's starting to see things also he has a roommate and her name is Chris and she doesn't make any sense in this film because she is like the complete antithesis to a character you'd expect in a horror movie she is constantly Joe joking and I think that's fine as a character trait and I think it would work in other movies but here she does not stop joking she doesn't take anything seriously so win something that's supposed to be somewhat scary happens Chris will immediately just get rid of all the tension with a joke like hey what are you doing on the floor I just put a bottle rocket in the Frat dude's toilet and I think it went straight up his [ __ ] and like come on get up you got to see this he's walking around with a firework in his butt and it's like oh wow okay so now there's like no tension left and there's no scares left like I don't even dislike Chris as a character because she was entertaining at the very least whereas nothing else in the movie was at least she was trying to make something out of nothing with this film but it does not fit in what is supposed to be a horror film because when she's on screen you know that it's just going to be a bit silly because that's that's all she does is just have fun even in the most tense of moments she gets strangled by an invisible demon and right after that like within two scene means she's back to joking it's a bunch of like night lights and makes jokes about it so it's just a character that doesn't take the movie seriously so how the [ __ ] is the audience supposed to you have a character that is actually just like making fun of the film that they're in but anyway uh so Dalton paints The Red Door Patrick Wilson's characters in his own home and he's trying to go through these like memory things and he's doing like a matching game on the window which is a goofy idea to begin with and they're trying to do like subtle scares so I'll like lift up one of the things you see like someone wearing an orange shirt in the background by the tree and it's out of focus and you're like oh goodness that's horrifying and then the scene will drag on for like two minutes of nothing happening and then just like the glass explodes for a cheap jump scare like it doesn't even really build tension all it does is it'll show you something a little out of focus in the distance and then all of a sudden a [ __ ] Cannonball goes off just a really loud explosion noise and that's the scare so then that you know the glass blows up and Patrick Wilson's jogging around his house going oh no oh and then he like shuts a door and then a ghost man pushes him against the wall and he finds a box of important lore tidbits but not really because it the the lower tidbits don't really mean much of [ __ ] anything in this film because there isn't a real narrative that they want to tell but anyway I'll just fast forward a little bit here after learning about his dad Patrick Wilson he then goes to his wife who has divorced him and she Reveals All the the bad stuff the stuff that he wanted to forget through the hypnosis she reveals that while under the possession of the demon he attacked the family and traumatized the kids and his wife really couldn't look at him the same way anymore she just felt [ __ ] sick by his presence so that's why they sealed off the memories that's also why they divorced and now since Dalton has drawn The Red Door everything's starting to flood back and the families getting those memories returned to them gradually and they're seeing things so Patrick Wilson keeps seeing a couple of ghosts and that's when it's revealed that the reason all this is happening is because the dad Patrick Wilson and Dalton are able to astral project themselves in the spirit realm like [ __ ] Aang from Avatar The Last Airbender so the entire half of this movie is spent astral projecting for the most part and it's not like this is new for insidious we've known this for a long time this has been a core component of the story but here it doesn't even bother to be horror it is mainly like that astral projection in the Smoky spot like it's literally just a room with a fog machine and that's it it's not like very interesting to look at it's just Baron and D Wasteland Dalton is the first one to realize that he can do this and he does it uh at his college dorm in order to like scare Chris I [ __ ] you not when he learns that he can astral project himself out of his body first thing he does is go to Chris's room grabs her little mouth piano the melodica and he plays a a little wonderful Symphony so he hits her with like the beep beep boop boop beep like the actual Electric Zoo out of [ __ ] SpongeBob which startles her and then she like goes downstairs and she's like are you in my room he's like no I was actually in the spirit realm in your room she's like ah interesting so then he does it again at a frat party in order to talk to a frat douchebag who died from alcohol poisoning because he he thinks that he has clues about the door that needs to be closed because he had seen him once before and he's like close the door he's like wait what do you mean by close the door so he goes back this time in the spirit realm to ask him more about the door and that's when Chris gets strangled by the big demon so in the Insidious franchise the main bad guy is the lipstick face demon I think is what he's called he's that goober goofball who's like kind of red but also just kind of silly looking and his signature move in the spirit realm is he always puts a Tiny Tim record on the player you know the guy who sung the song like Living in the Sunlight Living in the Sunlight Loving in the morning I'm that guy he always plays that music in the spirit realm and it's supposed to be unnerving but it is so cringe that kind of [ __ ] is in horror movies and horror games out the Wazoo Tiny Tim like the the music from Tiny Tim has become a horror movie and horror game staple for low budget low effort Productions and I feel horrible for that that's just that's so unlucky for for Tiny Tim's music but yeah that's what the demon does in the spirit realm it's that guy and he's breaking into the real realm because Dalton keeps astral projecting and I don't want to get into like really deep spoilers so I'm just going to be a little broad here but eventually Patrick Wilson learns that Dalton is in trouble because lipstick-faced demon is taking over his body so Patrick Wilson astral projection the spirit realm tries to find Dalton Dalton's struggling and his body in the real world has now been taken over and he's a he might hurt Chris so the movie within the last like 20 minutes very desperately wants to be over it very very much tries to speedrun through everything in order to just end quickly and be done it didn't want to be a long movie because it didn't have a story to tell it was already running so thin so they really just shoehorned in the most cliche [ __ ] imaginable at the end here so basically Patrick Wilson's Spirit projects himself or astral projects himself somehow immediately finds Dalton it breaks his chains with a [ __ ] Hammer also I'm just getting into [ __ ] full spoilers here I'm sorry I I said I was going to be broad but I actually just can't talk about how silly this is without just being specific so may Major Spoilers here for how the movie ends I'm doing you a favor though really because I don't recommend seeing it because there's nothing redeeming about it it's not fun bad but anyway Patrick Wilson swoops in like a hero Dalton has still hated him all the way up until this point and now Dalton's memories have unlocked so he remembers that his Dad tried to hurt him but Patrick Wilson breaks the chains with a single [ __ ] hammer hit and and frees Dalton from lipstick face demons control and then they both run away and close the door behind them to which Dalton then puts paint on it and seals it forever like a [ __ ] sarcophagus just entombs the demon back in that in that you know record-playing realm and that's so [ __ ] dumb like I think that is so lazy because everything just is a plot convenience Patrick Wilson somehow astral projection gets to the exact spot he needs and finds Dalton who is buried under a bunch of chairs and is able to break his chains very easily with a hammer and then the lipstick face demon for some reason is following them very slowly and this is the worst [ __ ] Trope in horror films the demon is always just so [ __ ] lazy he had unlimited opportunities to stop them and thwart their escape kill them anything possess them but for some reason he's more than content to just watch and do nothing and even when he has Dalton's body completely under his control instead of killing Chris he just does Goofy smiles and and Bobs to the side like that and nothing else the horror movies of the Modern Age just make the big bad demon or ghost or whatever seems so [ __ ] incompetent like actual bumbling imbeciles they have an unreal amount of time and opportunities to kill these people or at the very least just stop them from thwarting their plan but they choose not to they must they must enjoy it to some level because again the demon in this movie actually watches him free Dalton slowly waddle their way around this this realm and he just stands there watching and he goes that like just makes a loud noise and that's it nothing else and then when they finally closed the door then the Panic sets in so now the demon like punches a hole through the door and he's like slapping him around like let me out let me out even though he could have just stopped them [ __ ] five minutes before that an unlimited amount of opportunities it's just so stupid like it's not fun bad it's just kind of frustrating to sit there and watch it because it's boring it's [ __ ] boring this happens a billion times in horror movies like it is the most cliche [ __ ] ever I'm so tired of seeing it like I love fun bad movies but Insidious the red door and movies like it are no longer fun bad they're just copy and pasting the homework from other horror movies of the past and doing nothing different or interesting and it's just it's so lazy that it's not fun bad and it makes me upset it's just a waste of time it is a cash grab off the Insidious name and it has nothing to offer it is just a waste of your money and waste of your time so I wanted to rant about that a little little bit because I'm a little concerned that horror movies going forward aren't going to be fun bad anymore they're going to follow the Insidious Red Door formula of just doing the exact same thing a million times over and it's not it's going to lose all of its luster horror games have already been going this direction a lot of horror games that come out these days are just the same old walking simulators that do nothing different it's just the same jump scare same walking simulators so they're [ __ ] boring now it's very rare that you get a fun bad horror horror game but now now it seems like movies are starting to go that direction too and I think Insidious the red door has really set the bar for what I think a lot of these are going to look like which sucks so just wanted to talk about this a little bit that's really about it so yeah

Channel: penguinz0

Views: 2,502,571

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Id: 1jm9SgOTcKs

Length: 19min 7sec (1147 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 08 2023