Stewart Francis' HILARIOUS Stand Up Debut On The Show! | Mock The Week

first topic is pensioners what's coming in that frankie boy we've just heard that britain for the first time has more pensioners than teenagers what a terrifying statistic for the country's pedophiles no wonder gary glitter didn't want to come back in 20 years time we'll have the first generation of pensioners who can text each other i've got alzheimer's man yeah you told me that like 20 times already man to balance the economy what we should do we should give pensioners more money but only if they take up really dangerous sports here you go an extra 100 quid a week if you start quad biking through safari parks wearing a suit made from ham it's not how old you are physically is how old you are mentally i mean my granny is what 83 but she has the mind of a two-year-old [Laughter] just a joke she's dead okay let's spin the wheel again subject is young people ever uh young people they're well they're very scary aren't they uh i remember being scared of young people uh when i was young but that when i'm grown up i'll be bigger than them and i won't be scared of them anymore and then they armed themselves which i find really unfair i'm not scared of like goths or emos which is kind of a shame because goths make more of an effort to look scary it's almost a shame they're not scary they make more of an effort and they cannot look like that does my vampiric countenance not chill you to your bones you're like no like i said one hoodie in there it'll be like a dog worrying sheep don't annoy me getting sticked to by an emo you're an emo for god's sake i think between the two of us who both know who you're most likely to harm well then even okay that leads to stewart and russell let's get into here and the topic is relationships who's coming there russell britain i have sexual advice for you that's right um when i was 18 i used food in the bedroom now don't ever do it it didn't go well right rather than i use rolo yogurt and rather than tell yeah exactly right rather than tell my then girlfriend what i had planned i pretty much waited for her like some hideous yogurt goblin right i don't there's anything more terrifying than coming home to find me naked holding yogurt going yeah yeah and i panicked and rather than putting a little bit on i pretty much basted her right by the time i'd finished she looked a bit like morph you're sat there i created an angry meal you don't know where to start licking you don't want to lick randomly then she looks like she's got an illness so i did foot up to knee that took me an hour and hours i was like she looked like an angry gingerbread lady who'd had her leg dipped in tipics right it didn't end there i was i can't help you the door opened one of my dogs ran in and started licking the other leg never use food in the bedroom thank you very much russell howard so that leads us with stuart let's have a look at the last topic then and the topic is family sure before i uh rock the microphone i want to um i want to dedicate my performance to my father who was a roofer so dad if you're up there i'll tell you about my family i'm the youngest of three my parents are both older and um i have mixed race parents my father prefers the hundred meters and my mother's pakistani i was raised by my father my mother left before i was born and you know i like being raised by my father he's schizophrenic but he's good people i remember one summer i was five and he was uh mussolini [Laughter] went to the park that day i love parks standing in the park today wondering why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets and then it hit me my uncle's a hypnotist who has never inappropriately touched me i uh i have to leave now i'm a member of over actors anonymous and we have an over actors anonymous meal that starts in i think that ryan the points go to frankie is sure you

Channel: Mock The Week

Views: 237,676

Keywords: mock the week, dara o'briain, comedy, panel show, bbc, topical comedy, UK, news, Rob Beckett, Milton Jones, James Acaster, Frankie Boyle, Hugh Dennis, Josh Widdecombe, Alan Parsons, Ed Gamble, Nish Kuymar, romesh ranganathan, mock the week 2019, #mocktheweek, Milton jones mock the week, Stewart Francis, mock the week Milton jones, prince Andrew, Gary Delaney, Alistair mcgowan, katherine Ryan, andy Murray mock the week

Id: 8TqrJVEPFeg

Length: 6min 2sec (362 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 26 2020