WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? DID I DO IT WRONG ALREADY? WHAT THE F*** IS GOING ON? YOU CAN'T PLAY NO MORE! GARY, LISTEN TO ME, MAN. HERE'S THE DEAL. IF IT'S THERE, YOU'RE STILL ALIVE. BUT THIS TIME, YOU'VE GOT TWO STRIKES. IF IT'S NOT THERE, THE OTHER TEAM CAN STEAL AND WIN. GARY, TELL ME SOMETHING... STOP CLAPPING, GARY. [LAUGHTER] CLAPPING, REALLY, GARY? I CAN'T EVEN READ THIS DAMN CARD. SAY IT, STEVE. I'M READY. I'M READY. YOU CLAP AFTER YOU GIVE THE ANSWER. THEY TOLD YOU THAT IN REHEARSAL. HEY, YOU AIN'T GONNA BELIEVE IT JENNI, BUT YOU DID IT. GIVE ME TWO PEOPLE RIGHT NOW. LET'S GO. WE'RE PLAYING. WE GOT JENNI. JENNI'S DREAM COME TRUE. SHE'S... COME OVER HERE ON THIS SIDE. COME ON IN. THERE YOU GO. YOU... WHAT? MISS BEVERLY. HERE WE GO NOW. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING, MISS BEVERLY? RETIR... RETIRED TEACHER. ARE YOU? YES. WHAT DID YOU TEACH? WHAT GRADE? I TAUGHT, UM, IN MARIETTA, GEORGIA. MISS BEVERLY. AND I TAUGHT ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. I WANT YOU TO CALM DOWN. SEE, I JUST WANTED YOU TO COME AROUND HERE. I KNOW, BUT YOU'RE A LITTLE NERVOUS RIGHT NOW. WE ONLY GOT 30 MINUTES. OK. WE NEED TO CALM DOWN NOW. ARE WE ON NOW? YEAH, WE ON. YOU'RE NOT GONNA EDIT THIS, ARE YOU STEVE? DON'T EDIT THIS, STEVE. NO, THIS IS ON TV FOR SURE. OH, MY! AND LOT OF YOUR FRIENDS IS WATCHING, SO YOU'RE A RETIRED TEACHER? HI! STOP DOING THAT. THAT'S A GOOD COMEBACK. LET'S CLEAR THE BOARD. BRING OUT DANNITA. WHERE IS Y'ALL GOING? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS FAMILY? I'M SITTING HERE, AND WHAM! WE JUST TOLD THEM TO STAND RIGHT THERE. I'M NOT TURNING AROUND 'CAUSE YOUR MARK IS RIGHT THERE. OH! RIGHT THERE. OH! AND YOU JUST RAN OVER HERE. I COULDN'T EVEN SEE YOU, BUT I KNOW YOU WAS JUST GETTING READY... HA HA! I KNOW YOU HAD TO BE WONDERING, "WHY IS STEVE NOT TALKING TO ME?" WOW. THAT'S A FIRST. THAT'S NEVER HAPPENED. NAME A BUSINESS THAT MIGHT BE VERY BUSY ON VALENTINE'S DAY. KIKI. FLORIST. HE DIDN'T HIT IT, DID HE? YOU GOT TO HIT THE BUZZER. WHAT THE HELL? COME ON, STEVE! COME ON, MAN! OH, HELL. OH! THE FLORIST! PASS OR PLAY? WE'RE GONNA PLAY, STEVE. OH, MAN, I LOVE MY JOB. BUT AFTER HE HIT THE HAND, HE LOOKED SURPRISED. "WHY THE HELL THIS LIGHT AIN'T ON?" ALL RIGHT, STEVE. LET'S CLEAR THE BOARD. LET'S BRING OUT DIANE. SORRY. SORRY. HA! I DIDN'T KNOW... WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED. I WAS STANDING HERE, AND SHE WENT BY ME, AND I WENT... I'M BACK. "WHERE AM I?" YOU JUST RAN RIGHT UP THERE. "THIS IS ABOUT ME." BOY. OK. I'M SORRY. HA HA HA! THAT'S NEVER HAPPENED. SORRY. OVER 600 SOME SHOWS, NO ONE'S EVER RAN IN FRONT OF THE HOST. YAY, DIANE! YOU SHOULD'VE JUST PUT YOUR HEELS ON AND JUST CAME ON OUT HERE TODAY. PIERCE FAMILY 229. GOODPASTER FAMILY IS NOT ON THE BOARD. NAME A WORD THAT RHYMES WITH RIDDLE. RIDDLE? FIDDLE. COME ON, MAN. HE GONE ALL THE WAY OVER THERE. YEAH, I NAILED IT. YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. 20 RACKS , YO! HA HA. ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO, MAN. TELL US SOMETHING, ANYTHING, YOU HAVE IN COMMON WITH DOLLY PARTON. BIG BOOBS. PASS OR PLAY? WE PLAY! WE'RE GONNA PLAY! WHAT HAPPENS NOW? WELL, WHAT HAPPENS NOW? WELL, THAT'S A FIRST. OVER 1,000 SHOWS AND NO ONE... LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS NOW? WE GET TO PLAY THE REST OF THE GAME. YOU GET TO PLAY THE REST OF THE GAME? PLAY, PLAY! WE'RE GONNA PLAY. WELL, I'M GLAD THAT CAME TO YOU. COME ON! WE'RE PLAYING! GET YOUR A** OVER THERE. WELL, THAT'S A DIFFERENT KIND OF START. SHE HIT THE BUZZER, NUMBER ONE ANSWER, LOOKED AT ME AND SAID, "SO WHAT HAPPENS NOW?" NAME SOMETHING THAT'S HARD TO DO ON MONDAYS. YOU SAID WORK. SURVEY SAID... OOH. ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO, TINA. WHERE WAS YOUR LITTLE A** GOING, MAN? HA! OK. I GUESS HE SURPRISED HIMSELF, AND HE DIDN'T KNOW WHO WAS ANSWERING THESE QUESTIONS. SO HE JUST TOOK OFF RUNNING BEFORE SOMEBODY THOUGHT IT WAS HIM. OK, YOU ALL, COME ON. LET'S GO, LET'S GO, LET'S GO. WOULD YOU ALL GIVE THE ANSWER TO ALLEN, PLEASE? NOW, I'M GONNA ASK THAT. I'VE NEVER DONE THIS 8 YEARS. I'VE JUST ASKED A SPECIAL REQUEST. MAKE SURE ALLEN HAS THE ANSWER. YES, SIR, HE HAS IT. THANK YOU, GOD. I'M BACK. I WENT AND GOT THE ANSWER. "I'M BACK. I WENT AND GOT THE ANSWER." MY MAN. WELCOME BACK TO THE "FEUD," EVERYBODY. THE GOODPASTER FAMILY WON THE GAME. AND NOW IT'S TIME TO PLAY... FAST MONEY! ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, HERE'S THE DEAL. BRENT IS OFFSTAGE. I'M GONNA ASK YOU 5 QUESTIONS IN 20 SECONDS. IF YOU CAN'T THINK OF SOMETHING, YOU JUST SAY "PASS." THEN IF YOU AND BRENT TOGETHER COME UP WITH 200 POINTS, LOOK RIGHT THERE AND TELL EVERYBODY WHAT YOU'RE GONNA WIN. $20,000! $20,000. ALL RIGHT, YOU READY? YUP. YES. OH, YEAH. YOU'RE GONNA GET ALL THESE. WHOO. YOU FITTIN' TO NAIL THIS ONE RIGHT HERE. THE GOODPASTER FAMILY JUST DOING WHAT THEY WANT TO DO TODAY. YOU READY? "OH, YEAH." 200 POINTS BY HERSELF. THIS IS SUCH A GOOD GAME, MAN. NAME SOMETHING A BALD GUY MIGHT NOT WANT TO FIND ON THE TOP OF HIS HEAD. FLY. I NEEDED THAT. THANK YOU, MAN. GEORGE? HAIR? HAIR. NO, HE SAID "FLY." HIS ANSWER WAS "FLY." FLY. WE'RE GONNA PLAY. ALL RIGHT. COOL. FLY. WELL, WE GOT A GAME, FOLKS. HOTARD FAMILY GOT 66. PUGH FAMILY GOT 6... DON'T GO AWAY. STAY RIGHT THERE. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. GIVE ME DERICO. GIVE ME SHERRY. SHERRY, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING "FAMILY FEUD"? OH, FOREVER. SINCE THE FIRST DAY IT WAS ON TV. YOU BEEN WAITING TO GET ON THIS SHOW? YOU KNOW IT. GIRL, YOU MADE IT. GOOD! NOW, I KNOW YOU'RE EXCITED, BUT LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING. SEE, RIGHT NOW, IF YOU JUST PUT YOUR HAND RIGHT HERE... OH. OH! I'M SORRY! NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT. I KNOW. I KNOW, I KNOW. 'CAUSE YOU WAS GONNA WIN THIS ONE FOR DAMN SURE. OH, YEAH. HAND RIGHT HERE. "I'VE BEEN WAITING A LONG TIME, BIG BOY!" YEAH. YEAH. SHERRY WAS READY. WELCOME BACK TO THE "FEUD," EVERYBODY. THE GOODNER FAMILY WON THE GAME, AND NOW IT'S TIME TO PLAY... FAST MONEY! ALL RIGHT, JEFF. LANCE IS OFFSTAGE. I'M GONNA ASK YOU 5 QUESTIONS IN 20 SECONDS. YOU CAN'T THINK OF SOMETHING, YOU JUST SAY, "PASS." YOU AND LANCE TOGETHER COME UP WITH 200 POINTS, TELL EVERYBODY WHAT YOU GONNA WIN. 200--20--AW, HELL. HMM. WE AIN'T GOT THE... I'M GONNA TELL YOU. LOOK. I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. I WOULD SAY THAT, TOO. IF I COULD GET AWAY WITH IT, I'D SAY, "$200,000," MY DAMN SELF. BUT I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW YOU JUST ADDED A ZERO. YEAH. IT'S 20,000. YEAH. WE'D HAVE TO BE ANOTHER GAME. THIS WOULD BE "JEOPARDY!" AND YOU'D BE IN YOUR 8TH DAY. HA HA HA HA! NOW YOU'RE A GOOD PLAYER, BUT YOU'RE NOT $200,000, YOU KNOW. RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO, BIG JEFF. READY? READY. 20 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK. YOU COULD TAKE 200 SECONDS, BUT WE'LL BE AT HOME. HEY, GUYS, HERE WE GO, TOP 8 ANSWERS ARE ON THE BOARD. "A MAN MIGHT DREAM OF HAVING TWO WIVES." YES. OKAY, HERE WE GO, LET ME FINISH THE QUESTION. "A MAN MIGHT DREAM OF HAVING TWO WIVES. BUT THEN HE'LL ALSO HAVE TWO WHAT?" YOU CAN'T PLAY NO MORE! THIS GAME-- THIS GAME'S CALLED "FAMILY FEUD," THIS AIN'T "HIT THE BUZZER." THIS DAMN LIGHT WON'T COME ON! LET'S PLAY "FEUD" EVERYBODY! GET YOUR... AIN'T NOBODY CALLED Y'ALL UP HERE YET. I GOT TO SAY YOUR NAMES. NOW LISTEN TO ME, SCATTERBOX OR WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS. YOU AIN'T RUNNING NOTHING IN HERE. YOU JUST RUNNING UP THERE WITH YOUR LITTLE, LOUD SELF BECAUSE YOU'RE SO LOUD, YOU CAN'T EVEN HEAR. DID YOU HEAR YOUR NAME? NO. BECAUSE YOU WAS HOLLERING. I DIDN'T HEAR IT. GIVE ME MISS FREDIA. GIVE ME ALEX. ALL RIGHT, GUYS, HERE WE GO. WE GOT TOP 8 ANSWERS ON... YOU JUST GONNA WIN LIKE THAT? I'M SORRY. HA HA HA! "JUST GO ON. JUST ASK WHEN YOU WANT TO." "LITTLE SKINNY TAIL AIN'T GONNA BEAT ME ON THE BUZZER, I'LL TELL YOU THAT." NAME SOMETHING KIDS DO WITH THEIR THUMB. STEPHANIE. SUCK THEIR THUMB. SUCK THEIR THUMB. PASS OR PLAY. WE'RE GONNA PLAY, STEVE. THERE THEY GO. THEY'RE GONNA PLAY. OK! I TURNED AROUND TO TELL RICK THEY WERE GONNA PLAY. RICK WAS, "OH, HELL." WE ASKED 100 MARRIED WOMEN. "MY HUSBAND THINKS HE'S THE KING OF WHAT?" THE HOUSE. KING OF THE HOUSE. OOH! WHOOP, WHOOP, WHOOP! NAJUR, I DO UNDERSTAND THE EXCITEMENT. YOU AIN'T GOT A ANSWER RIGHT TODAY, SO THIS IS BIG. PASS OR PLAY? UH... WE'RE GONNA PLAY! NAJUR, YOU TURNED AROUND. "PASS OR PLAY?" YOU'D HAVE PASSED, I'D HAVE PUNCHED YOU IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD. NAME SOMETHING A MAN MIGHT REACH FOR IF HIS ZIPPER BREAKS AT WORK. A BUTTON. A BUTTON. A BUTTON. WE'RE PLAYING. WHAT? DID I DO IT WRONG ALREADY? NO, YOU GOT TO ANSWER THE QUESTION FIRST. OH, I GOT TO ANSWER. OH, SHOOT. UM, WHAT'S HE... WHAT YOU WANT TO DO? BRIGITTE. A SAFETY PIN. A SAFETY PIN. OH, CRAP. ELDON. PAPERCLIP. PAPERCLIP. PASS OR PLAY? WE'RE GONNA PLAY. THEY'RE GONNA PLAY. OK. OH, MAN, ALL RIGHT. WE ASKED 100 WOMEN. I THINK MY MAN IS BLANK EVEN IF NO ONE ELSE DOES. FINE. OK. HOW MANY TIMES YOU WANT TO HIT THAT... I WASN'T SURE. I WASN'T SURE. YOUR YOUNG SELF WAS QUICK. SHE HIT THAT THING ABOUT 6 TIMES, MARK. YOUR HAND WAS STILL HERE. FINE. OK. TOP 4 ANSWERS ON THE BOARD. WE ASKED 100 WOMEN. FILL IN THE BLANK. THAT WAS REALLY NOT GOOD. I'M SORRY. SHE SAID... "THAT WAS REALLY NOT GOOD. I'M SO SORRY." GOOD ANSWER! DOES SHE HAVE TO GIVE AN ANSWER? SO, YOU COULD GIVE ANY ANSWER. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. LET'S GET IT ON. GIVE ME RENETTE, GIVE ME TERRY. LET'S GO. SORRY. HA HA HA! I'M SITTING THERE GOING, "MAN!" LOOK, YOU KNOW, LOOK, LOOK, GUYS. WE WANT FAMILIES WITH A LOT OF ENTHUSIASM, BUT THERE'S A PURPOSE HERE. WE GOT A GAME TO PLAY. GIVE ME A WORD THAT RHYMES WITH "HUM." YOU SAID... MUM. SURVEY SAID. ALRIGHT, LET'S GO. YOU KNOW. I LOOKED UP THERE I SAID, "WHY IS IT TWO OF THEM UP THERE?" WHY IS YOUR A** JUST WANDERING AROUND? I WAS GOING TO GET HIM. JUST WANDERING AROUND THE SET. I WAS GOING TO GET HIM. WHAT THE HELL WAS YOU DOING? BRANDON'S JUST WALKING HIS A** AROUND THE SET, JUST LOOKING AT S***. HE EVEN SAW HIS BROTHER, "HEY JULIAN!" "OOH THEY'RE SOME NICE A** FLOORS." I WAS GOING TO GET HIM. IT'S OK. AND YOU KNOW WHAT CLUED IT IN, WAS THE LOOK ON Y'ALL'S FACE. 'CAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON, AND THEN ALL Y'ALL WAS GOING "WHAT THE F***?" YOUR LIPS ACTUALLY SAID "WHAT THE F***?" AND THAT'S WHAT MADE ME TURN AROUND. 'CAUSE Y'ALL WAS GOING Y'ALL HAD STOPPED CLAPPING AND EVERYTHING. AND THEN YOU SAID "WHERE THE F*** IS HE GOING?" THEN THAT'S WHEN I WENT... I WISH YOU ALL COULD SEE YOURSELVES ON CAMERA. THAT'S THE SHOT! Y'ALL WENT... BOY THAT WAS SO GOOD. OH THAT WAS GOOD. JULIAN HOW YOU FEELIN'? NERVOUS. YOU SHOULD BE, YEAH. HE'S BACK THERE WANDERING AROUND 'CAUSE HE WAS ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR SOME BETTER ANSWERS. THAT'S OK. YOU'LL GET IT. IT'S HAPPENED THIS SEASON. SOMEBODY'S WON IT FROM HERE BEFORE. ALMOST WITH THE EXACT AMOUNT YOU NEED. BRIAN GOT 68 POINTS. YOU NEED 132 TO WIN. OK. BUT YOU CAN DO IT. WE CAN MAKE THIS HAPPEN, OK? LET'S DO IT. ALRIGHT. NOW I'M GOING TO ASK YOU THE SAME FIVE QUESTIONS. YOU CANNOT DUPLICATE THE ANSWERS. IF YOU DO YOU'RE GONNA HEAR THIS SOUND. [AUDIENCE MEMBER SINGING OVER STEVE'S VOICE] AND THEN IF YOU... WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON, MAN? IS IT RAINING IN HERE OR SOME S***? WHAT THE F*** IS GOING ON? WE DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON RIGHT NOW, FOLKS! WE'LL COME BACK, AND FIND OUT WHAT GAME WE'RE PLAYING. I'M NOT SURE. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. I THINK IT'S "FAMILY FEUD."
