Speaking the common Language - Nouman Ali Khan

[Music] salamualikum' would have to like the ricotta now although we lay him in a shaytan al rajim bismillah al Rahman al Rahim and if errotica - Nikita be moving in now Eleonora be la la pontipine único so Elaine Carson and oka so si B LA wobbly Gila mean and lawfully in all are you so fully a bohemian - AHA - Erica Hashem so welcome and to whom lessor GD Bashar al-asad River silly Emery was rocked at a Millison holy well hamdulillahi rabbil alameen wa sallahu wa salam ala al anbiya wa l-mursalin wa aalihi wa sahbihi ajma'in i was asked to talk about the divide of communication between parents and children and this session was originally meant to be something directed at parents but now that this is a combined session enchilada hopefully we have benefit to both audiences I'll share with you in the very beginning and advice my teacher gave me my teacher doctor of the semia gave me some advice he said when you're going to address or ever give advice to anyone and you wonder how you're going to you know put together a topic and give a talk just let the Quran do the talking it's called guidance for a reason so find where it is in the Quran that Allah as though it addresses a topic and let that be the speech itself and so that's what I'm gonna try and do in chat about are living up to that advice one of the most beautiful places you'll learn something about parenting in the Quran will be Surat Yusuf and within Surat Yusuf specifically Yahoo bada his Salaam all over the Quran he is mentioned as a role model parent yaqoob alehissallaam is mentioned as a role model parent and in this Salah we learned something very special about him in a previous session those of you that were here I mentioned how kids couldn't appreciate how awesome solos use of his they didn't see what the big deal was well I want to highlight at least some of those things some of those lessons that we can benefit from both his parents as this show and his children you know Yousef are they Salaam young boy sees a dream you all know the story right young boy he sees a dream it disturbs him who does he go talk to in the Quran uncle's talked to his dad you ever see a teenage boy 12 year old 13 year old 11 year old even maybe 9/10 sees a dream something bothered him first person he goes to talk to his his dad anything small goes wrong in your life especially a boy and you say maybe I should talk to dad about this is that what you normally do if it's a really big problem maybe you'll go talk to your mom and when you do the first thing you'll tell her is don't tell Dad but and then you talk about whatever it is you have to talk about the fact that Yusuf alehissalaam went and spoke to his father is already teaching father's a huge deal he has some kind of relationship with his child by virtue of which no matter how disturbed the child may be and the problem may be big or small in this case the problem isn't even a matter of reality it's the matter of a dream but whatever problem comes up I should be able to talk to my dad no matter what I should be able to talk to him that's the kind of relationship Yaakov alehissalaam has established with his child he doesn't have to come and tell him if something happens you better come and tell me you hear no he comes himself he comes himself and tells his dad that's huge before we even learn anything else about parenting in the Salah we've already learned something huge about what kind of fathers our fathers need to be how easily accessible they need to be to their kids how easy should it be for a child to be able to come to their parent and say anything you know I'll tell you something this is easy to talk about difficult to live by I have you know come to love when I only had one child you're very protective of your first child then the second and third comes along and then you mix up their names right hey you Corrine I mean what's now I mean number four or were you three which one just get away from there you know you go through the extended families names before you get their name right but my daughter my eldest when she was in preschool she goes to preschool she comes home one day and she comes and she's like three and a half four years old she comes home she goes to me Abba Yusuf is so funny some kid named Yusuf in the class he sounds like who's Yusuf tell me everything you know who's yourself and my wife saw it from a corner of her eye and she goes no mom can I talk to you for a second and I came over said what is it will you stay quiet and she took her and she and then she talked my wife talked to me later she said listen you don't think your child can see that you're getting upset I was like yeah I'm sure she could if she sees that you're getting upset next time when it comes to telling you anything about what happens in class will she open her mouth or keep it shut should I keep it shut she won't say anything she's gonna hide things from you and it'll be your fault because you look like you got upset it's entirely your fault you can't close that door honor you have to just listen it's harmless she's three years old four years old what's the big deal relax calm down and you know as a Muslim father you have to kind of get trained into calming down we don't have that training we actually have quite the opposite training interestingly enough the words that come out of use of Ali's salams mouth they begin with yeah Abbate after he so he's about to tell his dad the dream and uses the words yeah but he now in Arabic if you say yeah ABI it's a sign of you're addressing your father when you say yeah Abbate and you add that tile that you hear it's a show of respect oh my noble father my respected father my beloved father dad I love you it's like these terms of respect have been added just by that table when he addresses his dad what we're learning is not only is this child ready to communicate with him at any point at the same time he's also extremely respectful and that's not such at the same time it's a compliment to the child but at the same time it's a compliment to the father what kind of father communicates openly with this child and at the same time maintains a relationship of respect because you know when you get very frank with kids what happens they run all over you they'll run all over you and they become too casual and then you have to become strict because you say I should be strict because that way they'll show me respect if you come from where I come from Pakistan there's one way to get respect if you're a father be as harsh and as mean as as nasty as you possibly can be and that is the way you get respect no you never hear your name said nicely if your name is Abdullah you don't never hear that's Abdullah could you come here Abdullah and you better show up looking all scared you can't smile if you're smiling at your daddy like what you guys check out the Navy what is this what are you looking at being angry whether you're and by the way this is just doesn't this isn't just for Pakistan he's even though we're awesome at it right it's parents although Muslim parents are generally very harsh so just and they think that's what you're supposed to be you're supposed to be disciplinaries especially the father should be tough so when he walks into the house there should be absolute silence everybody should drop what they're doing dad's here you know like everything's going well in the house everybody's playing around things are happening and dad's in the driveway sit still don't look around you know there's that that that culture what yeah ooh by the his Saddam is teaching us is the opposite this child is most comfortable talking to his father even about a dream even about a dream and when he addresses them he commands disrespect what I'm trying to get at is we thought the formula for getting respect from your kids is being harsh and mean being loud being scary that would be the way I will get the respect to my kids maybe that worked in Pakistan maybe that worked in Cairo maybe that worked in philistine maybe that worked in Syria and - it ain't working here it's this here is America anyone can hear and you've already tried it and it hasn't worked and then you come to the Imam and say my teenage boy doesn't listen to me what should I do what you should do is realize where you live first of all seriously you're not in our culture you're in a culture where your kids go to school your kids go to school and they go with other Muslim laws and children who when they address their mom they don't say mom they say Samantha come here that's what they do it's normal for them that's normal for them and your your kids go to school with other children who when they're talking about their fathers and my dad man he's so weird that's the nicest thing they'll say by the way that's not the bad stuff yet and people kids talk about their parents just like they're talking about some idiot seriously that's how they what they hear all the time and then you have our children you know you have you know the parents here many of you have funny accents at least to your kids it sounds funny it sounds weird you know and they here and they were trained in a culture to constantly make fun of other people will just train that way so guess what if you're an easy target your period your kids if behind your back are you've been making fun of you there's no respect is what I'm trying to say and your idea and my idea was if we're extra harsh we'll get their respect no if you're open if you're a genuine friend to your children if you're a source of nurturing and protection for them you will have their respect like nothing else will gain it and you will you will maintain a communication with them that otherwise cannot be had you know one of the biggest problems we have between parents and children is that children as they get older they stop talking to their parents they don't talk to them how many parents here have teenage kids let me see your hands in Natalja here in LA here are your home honest to god I am terrified for all of you I went to a youth program with my daughter who was eight at seven at the time I took her to a youth program where like there were five hundred teenage kids 250 boys 250 girls it was a weekend things all these high school kids are there Muslim kids and these are supposed to be the good Muslim kids these are the these are the boys that somewhat look like they're praying and these are the girls that I think that's a hijab right there's these are those kids I spent some time with them walking around on campus and then I had to just walk away so I took my daughter and we're sitting far away on a bench and I'm sitting on a bench and I'm crying and my daughter asked me why are you crying about what happened I said you're gonna be one of those things in six years I'm not gonna be like that yeah you are yeah it's coming everywhere I and when I first had a child I used to be like man this is hard changing diapers they're crying gotta wake up at night burp um you know you pick them up they won't go to sleep when they start teething you don't think of a fever all this stuff it's hard for early parenting it's hard so you go to parents we'll have older kids you say to him hey gets easier right when they're teenagers it gets easier right and they say enjoy this I'll take the smelly diapers any day over my 15 year old man it's crazy I'm there is a gap there is a gap but there's something to be said about the role of parents in creating that gap though there's that the crime is on both sides I'm gonna start on the parents side especially fathers guys especially fathers you come home from a long day of work you sit home and all you want to do is nothing just wanna watch TV flip the channels watch news watch where the Dow Jones Industrial Average you want to check what's going on in the world even though you won't remember any of it nor do you care but this is your form of entertainment and your kid comes over your five-year-old comes over dad look what I made look what I did dad play with me come on let's do something let's play tag and they're talking to you talking to you talking you know what are you doing could you watch and you'll Cosmo can you a party bar can you get rid of them please I just came home from work I need some peace I don't need to hear this don't you have toys I've watched you go play with those same child ten years later he's 15 years old and you're picking him up from school and you say so son how was your day oh what'd you do uh did you talk to any friends maybe what are you gonna go later somewhere what are you gonna do oh they won't talk to you and then you come I come tell the mama you know did my kid doesn't talk to me yeah you didn't talk to him you didn't talk to him all this time you didn't have time you didn't create a relationship first how's it gonna just come out of nowhere it doesn't and those are the ages by the way 10 11 12 13 those are the critical ages at those ages you know before then parent children are most obsessed with making their parents proud doesn't even matter what religion you're from this is just pure sight child psychology young children just want to make their parents proud they want to show their parents what they've done the biggest source of influence to them is their parents not in my household I shaved my son's head and I say that looks cool I'll do it myself so it's the other way but usually kids want to be like their parents you know they want to do everything their parents do if I'm sitting there typing on a laptop I'll tell them even my two-year-old I'll give him a toy who leave that alone he wants to type on the laptop why because I'm buzzed doing it they want to be like you but that changes as they get to a certain age now they want to be like their other friends and more importantly they want to be nothing like you they want to be the exact opposite of everything you are they go through that phase they're getting into a dangerous age and that critical age if you didn't already have a very open friendly clear transparent loving relationship if that that wasn't already there you are in for some serious trouble there's some serious trouble headed your way I bring up Surat Yusuf because at a young age he's already showing respect and open communication that's critical for both parent and child how many of us are having dinner every night with our children and when you do sit and have dinner how many of us actually talking to our kids actually talking to our kids you know in the age of cell phones and texting in all this other stuff and cognitive dissonance you can't even carry a real conversation with another human being let alone your children and I humble I have three girls two of them were going to school up until last year now all three of them go to school and I used to pick them up from their school do you know how much girls talk it's energizer bunnies got nothing on girls they could talk and talk and talk and talk you can fall asleep you wake up you're still there still talking to you they're still talking to you they don't stop and so I'm picking them up from school and willya starts telling me you say how about you know what happened today my hair clip fell off my hair clipped a purple one fellow them but the people one was still didn't win the purple one fell out my friend said hey your purple one fell down pick it up so I picked it up it's a little dirty it's not that dirty that I cleaned it up a little bit when I put it back on I didn't get on the right way so I took the purple one off in the pink one off too and then my friend and you know what I should do at this point I should say AHA yeah like I'm totally zoned out not listening but actually I have to make it a conscious effort to actually listen and save so what happened to the pink one then what about the purple I have to actually listen because you know other and if you're not listening your kids know your kids know if you're especially girls they're really sharp they pick it up like I said a bla bla bla bla bla and yoga saying ah ha ha ha I'll throw in can I have $50 it's happened to me I've caught myself ah right it'll happen it'll happen but we have to become good listeners especially the fathers especially the father's the moms naturally Allah has given them certain gifts like parenting comes more naturally to a mother Allah has given her that he just makes her nurturing soft caring concerned just naturally father's have to work on it you're sitting at home your child falls down who gets up immediately old male of a cello yoga who does that the father pick yourself up child and you lose I question you I wish new artists dust it off nothing nothing that's nothing no worry about it that's a little bit of blood a mom will go crazy it's natural to her I'm telling the fathers here if we want our children to be raised in Islam the first thing we need to be is their best friend and that takes work it takes serious work parents here fathers here you but you guys have to get in shape I'm serious you have to get in shape not for yourself for your kids you come home your kids want to play with you and you just about picked me up throw me around do this you do a little bit of dunya like almost got a lie down hold on that's not how you raise kids you know taking our kids hiking playing sports with them taking into the backyard even if they're playing video games play video games with them play with them you know play the Wii with them ball whit I don't care it just us do stuff with your kids it's a critical part of opening barriers so they can talk to you about anything because I'm telling you when they reach a certain age the need to talk to someone will always be there you would rather that person be you not some non-muslim friend who will give non-muslim kinds of advice you would rather that be yourself you don't want to discover your child has developed another personality later on in life because you never talk to them and eventually you actually engaged in a conversation or you're like well this is a different person who are you you've been living under my house all these years when did this happen oh it done been happened daddy it been happened you just never knew you were busy you were busy you have to make special time for your children it has to be just their time and if you have multiple kids you have to go out of your way to make sure each child gets individual attention and time from you no one else you know toys no gadgets no nothing just you it has to be there it's absolutely critical now let's talk about what Yusuf Ali Salim said what did he tell his dad in mera I - AHA - Eric oka band well shams are welcome ara ara a to whom Lisa G Dean the translation says I saw 11 stars the Sun in the moon I saw them making such that to me there's so much mist in that translation first of all he where he mentions the verb I saw twice he says I saw that I saw 11 stars the Sun in the moon then he stops and he starts over again he says I saw have you ever seen a child who's reluctant to tell you what happened in the playground they come home dirty or some other kids crying what happened I was playing I was playing and I was playing and then and then I was playing and then when they get to the part that'll get them in trouble they'd rather what start over again Quran is teaching us Yusuf alayhi Salaam was so disturbed by his dream when he gets to the part that really bothers him oh come on his dad making sajda - he's so bothered by that he starts over again ie to whom then he says Lee he doesn't say to whom Saji Dean Ali he says our a to whom Lee Saji this is called batalik bilhuber mu condom that's a grammar term what it means especially is to me they were doing search though why me he was shocked by that the part that he was disturbed by is mentioned in disturbing language style then he uses the word stodgy Dean Saji Dean in the Arabic language to make sajda is only used for people that are killed the Arabic word to use for non-human things making sajda is either sajida or Saji that he uses Saji Dean this is the language of Yusuf Ali son this is how he's expressing the dream you know what Allah is telling us by him using the human one of the interpretations of that is it is as though this Intel boy had already figured out what his dream means that's what disturbed him even more he had already figured it out because they'll kind of language he was using is used for human beings not for the Sun and the moon and the stars and it is that helps us understand the next I am more because immediately his father complements him and he tells him that he's gonna have a great future wait two things well two things did I just say what does his father do number one he complements him well number two he's gonna have a I didn't hear you he's gonna have a great future sound familiar that's just like you right as a dad you complement your kids all the time you tell them they're gonna have a great future no you don't you don't tell them that it's almost as though it's Haram to complement our children it's almost as though it's forbidden you can't say you look nice today you look so good great job on the test I'm so proud of you you're doing wonderful keep it up you can't say it it hurts it hurts too much for our Muslim minutes sometimes it's very painful to compliment your wife I just I understand it hurts in the river right there's a particular spot over here in the ribs it's sharp pain happens when you complement your wife I understand so the moment you compliment her to ease the pain you have to say something mean right after that right so you save your wife the dinners pretty good could have used more salt like you have to balance the equation ah you can't just say something nice and that's what she says can't you just say something nice you ever heard that's with your wife but with your kids it's even harder to say nice things especially where I come from we're really good at not saying nice things your child struggles in mathematics he's doing poorly he's not very tuned into mathematics he usually gets a 7 d he is 65 and one day that same child gets a 95 on their math test greatest day of their life they've never seen a 95 before then they bring it to you mr. Pakistani father but look what I got 95 what do you do next time get hind-leg come on come on how hard is it for you to say something nice we have to compliment our kids because it builds their confidence we learn in the beginning of this amazing surah that had a father complimented his child putting in him confidence and later on in life when a crisis hit a country it was his confidence that saved that country he stood up confidently and said give me this job I'll take care of this economic crisis I know how to manage it that takes confidence and in the beginning of the surah we're learning where his confidence comes from his father is making him believe in himself well cathodic edge Devika rabbuka well you are a Lim who come in that we need a hadith these words are very interesting you say father Jakub at least I'm saying that is how your your master is teaching you your ally Mooka Lamia will say you Andamooka you are the Mucca he says he's teaches you and will teach you the Madonna includes both forms in other words yaqoob alehsalaam realizes this kid is special each diva in arabic is used when you recognize when you select something based on a talent seeing a dream is not a talent the fact that Yusuf alayhi Salam saw a dream is not a talent the fact that he figured out what it means now there's a talent and this father is sharp enough to see talent immediately and spotted and use the word waka delica yeah just a beaker of bucha you're not just special because you saw a dream it's also special the way you described it you've got something special and it clearly Allah is teaching you how to interpret different kinds of speech and he will continue to do so and not only is he doing so now why you Tim Munir Matta who are they car and he will complete his favour upon you he's making dough out for his child's future he's not saying things like you and I say you're a loser now you're always gonna be a loser you're such a disappointment five minutes awesome it's not a license plate thank God so I'm happy about that he's giving him Compline he's you know affirming the good talents of our of his child what that means for us as parents is if your child has certain tendencies certain talents you have to acknowledge them and you can't unless you listen to them carefully it takes a careful ear of Yacouba alayhi Salam to see this kids special had he not been listening a child comes dad I saw a dream Eleven stars Sun and Moon they were making sight of me huh huh let me finish watching the news I won't get you anywhere even a child deserves to be listened to carefully that is the Sunnah of yaqoob alehissallaam even a child you should listen to them carefully they're not just ranting and raving they have something to offer they have something to say you know before you send your child to a therapist or an imam there are people who say to the speaker and I have done I've gone through this so many times parents that are having trouble with their kids usually teenage kids you know what they do stuff no man must have some special solution for us so they'll grab their teenage boy or girl bring them up to the stage and say nothing no one can we have a minute of your time yes this is my son he's very bad say something now two people are in a very awkward position this poor guy who's like humiliated for no reason who already hates my guts now even though I have done no done him no wrong and what am I supposed to say to him I just say sorry bro I shouldn't put you on the spot like that nobody is good but he's very bad all they'll say he'll bring some daughter some girl she doesn't even want to come can you talk to her she doesn't listen to me I was like no matter what I say won't make a difference you think I have a solution just because you know you you find that you heard my speech and it affected you maybe by Allah's permission then I'm just gonna have some words for your child and everything's gonna change no it doesn't work like that you you can bring about that change not me and you have to make dua to Allah now let's take another I know it's five minutes I don't know how I'm gonna cover all this but a few other things a parent is very clear about who their children are if they spend a lot of time with their children then not only do they know their strengths they also know their weaknesses they also know their flaws they also know they have an anger problem or they get jealous really quickly or they get where they rush into things or they don't do careful enough work etc they know their tendencies they don't use them to attack them all the time they don't use that to humiliate them all the time they still complement them for the good they have but they're aware of their weaknesses that's the other extreme and Muslim parenting we come from a good family therefore our children are genetically incapable of sin because we come from a noble family you know we're from Lahore there's nobody ever does bad deeds in Lahore so our kids are immune from sin when their khateeb is talking about youth that have problems then he's talking about somebody at my neighbor's child not me my child not me you know Jakub are they Saddam's kids messed up not all of them were Yousef Allah says you hope you will learn a lot of things from Yousef you will also learn a lot of things from his brothers look at kanafeh you so far what equity he ayat on the ceiling it's incredible Allah says in Yusuf and his brothers there are many lessons many signs for people who ask from the successful example of a child and the unex unsuccessful example of children both of them are very important for us to learn how to be parents this is counseling from Allah last comment I'll make with you you can do everything you can as a parent you can communicate clearly you can be merciful you can be kind you can try to provide a good religious education you can be concerned you can make sincere door to Allah you can be a parent like the likes of Yaakov vada he said on may Allah make us all like that good parents like Yahoo police around but that does not guarantee that your child when they are no longer a child when they are an adult that does not guarantee that they will commit themselves to guidance you don't have that in your hands guidance is not in the hands of parents guidance is in the hands of Allah you can do everything you can you can even be Yahoo alehissalaam who is the son of his hawk who is the son of ibraheem alehissalaam and you can still have messed up kids who do some pretty bad stuff and they did so I'm saying to you just because you put in your effort does that mean guaranteed guidance is guaranteed for our children a point comes where even look man has to tell his son and we understand that man will be Allah who I know would have been an amazing father he still has to tell his son yamuna yoshida grilled ahi in the shed callable Manali Jakub are they said on his children have already made Toba you know at the end of the story they made Toba everything was good everything was good in the hood basically he's about to die and he's about to die he's still not sure whether they will be guided or not so he says mater bhutanam embody uncle - Shahada Hirai are cool mode if colony when he met our dunam embody were you around when death came presented itself to Yaqoob What did he say what are you gonna worship after I'm gone I'm not sure you better cuz you're on your own at that point you're on your own also the lalala I wish Adam tells us fatty model de la ya Fatima to bin to Muhammad it took in love in me nah I'm the cooler came in Allah in Shia you should have taqwa of Allah I will have no authority for you before Allah you're on your own when it comes to guidance we have to instill that into our kids that's a critical teaching that we have to first internalize ourselves and instill it into our children last bit I promise I will stay within mine is there a timer I'm good okay last bit in regards to this conversation the patience of parents this is probably one of the most important points I think I can make this I haven't been tested with this yet but I'm sure I will be as my as my children get older some of you are being tested with this already your children as they become teenagers they start turning into monsters they talk back they roll their eyes they say obnoxious things they speak under their breath you tell them did you finish your homework what you say nothing I heard you say something you're always telling me something I'm not lying I didn't say anything right there becomes so epic in their emotions can I go over can I go to their house for a sleepover no you can I've never been happy in my life because of you they become really epic they're like these monsters living in your house like you're almost afraid to talk to them like if you talk to Bill explode zeynep why but you know what at that point when as they get and they start getting older and older and older they become more and more independent I'm talking to the parents for a second you used to change their diaper you used to put food in their mouths used to burp them you used to clean them you used to feed them you used to clothe them they didn't decide what color clothes they wear or what size diaper they'll put on you did that for them you would they were completely under your control completely and then as the years go by you lose a little bit of control then you lose a little more control then use a little more control then you say you will go to that college and say no I won't I'm gonna go to that college you're gonna do this measure know I would I want to do that major you've gotta marry her no I'm not I'm gonna marry her okay once you get married you get a job here no I won't I'm gonna go get a job there I live here I'm gonna name my kids this did you start loose you start losing control as they get older and when that happens you feel angry this how disrespectful my children are they don't listen to me they don't listen to me you know at that point I want you to appreciate something especially with rebellious kids first of all there's a time you have to learn to let go they're adults you shouldn't try to control their life when they get married leave them alone be nice to them be nice to your family be nice to your son be nice to his wife just let them live their life don't invade their life you're not gonna bring any good out of it you're miserable and you're making them miserable don't do it let them be it let them be at peace don't interfere with how she is as a mother leave her alone just let her be let her breathe and if you know and on the other hand of course the to balance the equation sometimes the husband will not give the rights of the parents and just for the sake of the wife the wife says don't go to your parents house and he says I won't go no you men have to balance all of these things but this conversation is particularly about parents who don't know when to put the brakes on and let go a little bit you have to let go for the sake of your children not just in their Dean but in their ass kadar - if you're not happy with them how can i la be happy with them you're digging their whole engine down when you're constantly unhappy with them learn to be happy with your kids when you talk about think about all the things you surely are Muslim parents when they think about their children living all of the things they should complain about think of the things that are wonderful about your child thank Allah for the demo of your child be grateful for what you have so what if it's not perfect this is not Jana it's not Jana so this was the point I'm building up to this one point Jakub are they his salams sons messed up pretty bad they didn't just mess up his car right they didn't just break the kitchen sink they didn't do some minor damage they left their brother in the woods that's pretty big if you do something messed up and your parents find out you scratched up the car you of you hid oh you put a virus on your dad's laptop hmm you went through your dad's you know those files that are useless papers that he has in the house then he never reads but he never lets me touch them you accidentally shred those you know the ones that he'll never read ever but they're really important to him for some reason one day he'll make paper planes of them but now you can't touch them though so you shred them by our what's your dad gonna do he finds out I didn't want to know I don't want to know he'll explode he'll explode these guys come into the house before yeah cool by then he said I'm showing him a fake blooded shirt what does he do oh you know what I was expecting if you don't know the story and you get to that point you're like oh ho this is gonna be bad these guys are gonna get it what comes next for Sabo and Jamie I'm just gonna find beauty in patience when I read that as a father I could not understand it why I'm almost like it was almost like I'm sitting in the same room with the Aquabase I'm like why why'd you say something you should at least smack one of them one of them nothing he's a suffering Jimmy malama Stan he knows they're lying he says I'm gonna have suffered why the question is why did Quran tell us that it's a really important question because that same question comes up in your household life all the time your kids say things do things that make you so angry and your immediate response is anger and the response of yaqoob are they Salaam is patience the question is why because he's a really really really intelligent father we learned that from the beginning of the surah he knows his kids very very well they haven't even planned against Yusuf yet but he said watch out they might plan against you did he call it he called it like a play he called it because he knows his kids so he also knows there are times when yelling at your children will make things worse and the only thing you can do is patience this is one of those times yelling at them will not do any good the only thing left is pay some of you not learning it you yell at your kids your 18 year old you yell at him he yells back he slams the door he walks out of the house you yell at your daughter she starts crying she doesn't talk to you for three days then you yell at her again it happens all over again you refuse to learn the lesson of yaqoob are they Saddam sob ruin Jamil there's an age your children reach where all you can do is have someone and make lots and lots and lots of dough and then somebody will come up to me at the end of the speech and say brother I've been doing suffer it's been like three days I've been doing summer nothing has changed you can't put a timer on your summer guys yeah cool Guardian has Sabo does it pay off eventually do those kids eventually come around by Allah's grace they do right does it happen the next week six months from then a year from them two years from then ten years from it happens a while later right just trust a lion half southern at a certain point these are some basic teachings of Allah's book these aren't just stories these aren't just stories these are the best of all stories why because every little bit of this story has things that makes my life better may allah azzawajal make our lives better by his guidance barakallahu li walakum ceremony

Channel: ICNA

Views: 246,647

Rating: 4.9140153 out of 5

Keywords: Speaking, the, common, Language, Nouman, Ali, Khan, Youth, Conference, Meeting, Challenges, Making, Change, YMB, YMS, YM, YoungMuslims, Brothers, Sisters, Young, Muslims, Division, of, ICNA, Islamic, Baltimore, Virginia, Maryland

Id: zMLNgugZjME

Length: 41min 1sec (2461 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 24 2011