Sister Made Her BABY SHOWER Party On My WEDDING DAY So My MOM Can't Come To My Wedding

redditors why do you not want to go to the next family gathering she's known about our wedding date friday october 13th for about eight months now i found out this morning from my mom that sister has her find out the baby's gender doctor appointment at 9 30 am on my wedding day she wants mom and me to accompany her find out what it is but keep it a secret then plan a surprise gender reveal party for that night my wedding night granted fiance and i are doing a courthouse wedding no big deal we really just wanted both our moms to come with us and be witnesses then have a small cookout that night with our friends to celebrate now sister wants me at the appointment mom said she'd take us out to a nice lunch after then leave fiance and i so she could focus on sister and the party then i'm supposed to plan some kind of gender reveal party for sister that night instead of my own post-wedding celebration my wedding is a complete afterthought now shoved aside in favor of the new baby i'm furious she could have changed her doctor's appointment easily to the day before or after could have planned the party for the day after or even a week from the doctor's appointment but no she has to have all the attention because of baby so now fiance and i are doing the courthouse wedding alone with maybe just his mom as witness and throwing ourselves a private party with just our friends i'm completely writing my sis and mom off i'm over this stuff i'm always cast aside when it comes to family stuff because i don't have nor want kids and other reasons i'm basically the blackest sheep and i'm finally done they've proven just how little they care about my life and accomplishments and no i will not be accompanying sister to the doctor i will not be planning her arbitrary attention of a party and i will be getting married and enjoying my husband that day end of rant thank you for listening so this story is from last year when i got pregnant with my dear daughter my dear husband and i were not trying to have kids but we also weren't using protection so it was a sort of surprise we were so happy to find a little plus on the pregnancy test we opted not to tell anyone until i was 16 weeks and we weren't going public with it until i was at least 20 weeks we debated on how to tell everyone and decided that a party was the way to do it to avoid anyone being upset that someone else found out first the day of the party arrives and everyone is antsy to know why they were there we disguised it as a late anniversary party for us and there were tears and happiness and all that good stuff when we announced the pregnancy we made it clear that we weren't ready to go public yet and that we would post it on facebook when we were ready during that announcement we did not notice that mother-in-law was taking a photo of the ultrasound picture we had she was already drafting a facebook post about how excited she was to be a grandmother and how ready she was to meet her baby my dad saw her and warned us my dear husband and i flipped we pulled her away from the party as soon as we found out what she was doing and had her erase it and the photo she took of the ultrasound picture we warned her that posting anything about the baby before we did would result in her being cut off from the baby when she was born and that referring to the little one as her baby was absolutely not allowed we understood her excitement and all but we put our foot down she sulked about for the rest of the party and my parents and my father-in-law and stepmother-in-law got a kick out of her behavior when we did announce it on facebook over a month later she couldn't stop posting about how excited she was to meet her baby oops i mean grandbaby and that she couldn't wait until we announced the name and that she hoped it would be one of the family ones she handed to us another issue is that she wanted the baby to call her mama her name and i laughed in her face when she told us that the only one my little one was going to call mama is me i gave her the choice between grandma and granny she picked nana and i told her my mother chose that before dear husband and i had gotten married she picked mimi i told her no because stepmother-in-law's name fit that title a little better she ended up picking grandma and after a fit or five about not getting to keep her original choice it was settled she tried to host a separate baby shower with her family and friends two weeks before my actual baby shower birthday party i told her if she hosted i wouldn't be there and neither would dear husband she hosted we didn't show and embarrassed her oh well apparently no one even brought gifts for a baby shower and it ended up being more like a grandma shower she came to the actual baby shower and semi-sulked the whole time long time lurker here and wanted to share a story which happened this week at work anyway the daughter-in-law in question is one of my close co-workers who is expecting twins daughter-in-law is over the moon as she knows they are going to be twin boys and the firstborn on both sides who are religious thought knowing her she has said mother-in-law has been a pain but no one really believed she was as bad as she made out spoiler alert we were wrong this week was the baby shower with mostly women there these people were from either the office or relations to daughter-in-law daughter-in-law's own mother couldn't be there as she lives abroad but sent over money for daughter-in-law and dear husband to buy the push chair which was on proud display the baby shower was meant to be a quiet gathering of cupcakes a couple of tacky games and a little bit of gift opening this quickly didn't become what was happening soon as i get there i'm rudely stopped by mother-in-law herself who asks who the present is for i say for daughter-in-law and she does the cbf beautiful daughter-in-law quickly apologizes and asks me to slip the present onto the table before offering me a mocktail this became a running pattern anyone who entered was stopped by mother-in-law who asked who the gift was for before the daughter-in-law could stop her turns out mother-in-law thought there would be some grandmother gifts so you can imagine the disappointment when they were all either for mummy or the babies well party gets underway and we play the wonderful game of guess the sizes of thing a and thing b honestly what we've called them for a while guess the size of mummy's bump and the most important game baby bingo if you didn't know what baby bingo is it's a game where instead of numbers there is items instead you could buy a ticket for 20 pennies and you had the chance to win drum roll please a jar of pennies it's a fun tradition in the daughter-in-law's family and many of us were going to play including mother-in-law who stated from the beginning she was going to win anyway we play and guess who won not mother-in-law it was daughter-in-law's sister who won a jar of pennies who happily held the jar up with a cheer and started an acceptance speech where she dedicates the jar to the baby boys and promises to match whatever was in the jar so each boy could start a bank account we're all laughing at the overdramatics but mother-in-law is there with cbf and demands a rematch for the jar of pennies daughter-in-law tells her to hush there are other games going to happen but we should start on the gifts we start on the gifts and the majority of people have either bought bottles clothes or diapers because she doesn't just have one eating and pooping machine she will have two we are watching as she happily shows off each present and offers hugs with a bright smile on her face as a thank you but that smile gets wiped away when we get to mother-in-law's present inside the large box was just one crib daughter-in-law looks outraged mother-in-law is there with the brightest smile on her face exclaiming it's for the first born only to sleep in everyone's jaws drop as we question how serious she is over this as one asks where's twin b going to sleep and she shrugs before spouting rubbish she shouldn't be so greedy we only needed one heir to keep the family name going and to leave everything too in the will it's the reason firstborn must be called insert name to be strong in the eyes of the law daughter-in-law bursts into tears her family are trying to help daughter-in-law as mother-in-law goes into a tirade of how weak she is to be having two babies instead of one and how rude we all are because no one thought of her she'd be raising the firstborn this point all daughter-in-law can do is scream get out to her as we try to do what we can mother-in-law leave shortly after daughter-in-law called ungrateful but not until she had taken a couple of gifts somehow i doubt she's getting to meet the twins i am 32 weeks pregnant and have always had a very introverted personality i get anxious a lot and really dislike being around a lot of people or having gatherings that revolve around me my pregnancy has extremely enhanced these feelings and had come to the conclusion that despite money issues i am willing to give up all of the perks of having a baby shower just to feel the mental peace of mind i told my mother last friday that i did not want to have a baby shower the next morning she went ahead and made a facebook event and invited all of her friends to a baby shower for today's date i called her to ask her why she did that after i told her i didn't want one and she said that it was her first grandbaby and that i needed to have one i got pretty upset and started crying because she wouldn't budge so i got off the phone and texted her that she made me very upset and i would not show up she apologized and said that she cancelled the event i confirmed it on facebook she said instead we would have an intimate lunch with just her my dad my brother my husband and i i agreed to it fast forward to yesterday my mother told me that she was gonna invite just one friend and i was caught off guard but said it was fine fast forward to today the day of the lunch i arrived and every single person she initially invited to the baby shower was there she called everyone after she canceled the event on facebook and said that it was still on except it would be at a restaurant none of them were people i knew it was hectic and i was a wreck i was blindsided i lost my appetite and barely ate a thing while people were all trying to talk to me i sort of broke down in tears and had to get some air my mother noticed by the time i got back my mother was talking to all of the guests telling them and i quote she is just being shy don't worry she doesn't do anything anyway if she wasn't here she would be at home doing nothing kind of making excuses for why i looked pale throughout the entire thing the guests all brought me gifts and i said thank you with a smile but i can tell my mom was really upset with how taken aback i was by the end of the lunch my mom was being very snarky towards me about the entire thing i am pretty sure she thinks i am being ungrateful but truly i just don't do well in crowds i texted my mom when i got back home to thank her anyway and she has not responded to me and probably won't for a while my eso and i are expecting and with the help of my friends we have a very large baby shower planned this will be the first grandkid on both sides so we are expecting over 120 people since we are on a budget we decided to throw a backyard shower at my parents house due to a lot of conflicting schedules we ended up picking a date that is one of my siblings birthdays my sibling only asked that we celebrate their birthday after which we easily agreed to we are a big birthday family it's like a mini christmas anyways we planned everything and i told my in-laws several times that we have obligations after due to birthday plans my mother-in-law decides to have a gathering at her house after the baby shower with her side of the family i have no problem with this well we are a week out and she just asked us what time they should expect us i told her politely that we had plans after but she claims to have forgotten for reference this lady remembers what she ate 30 years ago for dinner so i doubt she actually forgot she then said i don't have to go but my so her child needs to attend mind you we are having a party that needs to be cleaned up and a birthday celebration to fit in when my oldest told me she was pregnant she was still in college unemployed and the baby's father was refusing to be involved i was not thrilled but i provided all the help i could and took care of her i was having a health crisis at the time so i was very stressed out i loved my grandchild but the birth didn't exactly happen in the happiest of circumstances my oldest daughter ended up back in a relationship with the baby's father and they're happy and stable now my younger daughter announced her pregnancy a few months ago and the situation cannot be more different she's married to her husband who she's been with for several years they're both financially stable and the baby is clearly planned i have had zero stress dealing with my daughter's pregnancy this time and i've been generally happier about it i was unknowingly proving i was more excited this time around which i have since corrected i also planned a baby shower for my youngest which i didn't do for my oldest my oldest is furious i can imagine why but i feel she should understand how different the circumstances were she said some really hurtful things to me and has prevented me from seeing my grandchild even on the phone i have already apologized a few times but it hasn't made a difference my youngest is now having some pregnancy-related health issues and we're feeling very scared i got a text from my oldest yesterday that if it were her having a health scare during her pregnancy i would have probably celebrated i broke down crying because i was so hurt am i wrong here my husband and i have been trying for over 10 years to have a child together in between fertility treatments and adoption we got matched with a mother a few months ago who lives out of state and she chose us the plan always was that when she went into labor we'd fly to be there and stay there for a few days to a week just to get all the paperwork done make sure everything was situated etc in advance we asked that my sister be able to dog sit slash house sit at a moment's notice since we had a due date but obviously babies can come a week before slash after anytime around that date she agreed so the baby is born we're so happy and excited that first week is exhausting plus we have to fly back with him we had called my sister with a heads up the night before saying we were when we arrived back our house is packed with family and friends all there to meet the baby i was overwhelmed and just not understanding my sister said it was an impromptu baby shower since i didn't have one it didn't seem right in case the birth mom changed her mind everyone wants to hold him see him asking a million questions and i just want to sleep he's also fussing because it's loud bright and he doesn't know any of these people i don't care about people holding him but i really just wanted this first night to be about us and for it to be a few people at a time eventually i go into my room and shut the door my husband comes in a bit later and asks what i want i tell him to get my sister and tell her to get everyone out i'm exhausted and aware i might sound rude but this isn't how i imagined our first night home i'm not in the mood to play houseguest my husband agrees and is nice enough to be the bad guy my sister and him get everyone to leave and she promises the next day she'll come back to clean up when she does however she calls me rude and ungrateful she says that i should have just enjoyed the party and people would have helped me with the baby i said i didn't want that and how could she think i would after flying five hours with an infant she got mad finished cleaning and laughed we haven't really talked in a few months since and a lot of the family is on her side i am 32 weeks pregnant with our first child this past weekend was my baby shower at one point during the shower my mother-in-law and another family member started rubbing my stomach as people do without ever asking for some god-forsaken reason i made an offhanded comment about how it is in fact weird my mother-in-law piped up and said i'm sorry but i have the right record screech you have the what she saw the look on my face and proceeded since i carried dear husband for nine months i was a participant in this one so i have the right me nope not a participant mother-in-law well i made dear husband me you are not in the room you are distinctly not a participant mother-in-law well no i wasn't in the room me not a participant i was being polite because there were other people around but i really wanted to tell her that she doesn't have the right to her own kids so she can back up off of mine she won't be touching my stomach again i can guarantee that much my family just hosted a shower for my partner and i in another town with a lot of my hometown friends and my family this last saturday we invited mother-in-law to be polite and to give them all a chance to meet cool no issues there well today i get a text saying that she needs addresses of some people in my family slash old friends so she can invite them to the shower she's throwing in less than two weeks because she was talking to them and they expressed interest quote unquote i asked if i'd see them in june and they had no idea what i was talking about i was like of course you're invited i'm confused to be honest she's trying to invite family i hardly ever see slash speak to have already just seen at the last shower and now she's trying to invite them to a second shower isn't that kind of rude to expect people to make it to two showers but also going behind my back to ask my family slash friends to attend something i've already given her a list of names and addresses for this is the same mother-in-law who said she's inviting all of her friends and co-workers to her shower along with all of my partner's family and our friends there's going to be so many people at her shower why do we need repeats ugh [Music]

Channel: ASK GURL

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Keywords: askreddit, r/askreddit, reddit, askwomen, askreddit girls, reddit women, reddit girls, askreddit real voice, reddit stories, justnomil, r/aita, r/tifu, ask gurl, ask guru, reddit baby shower, reddit toxic sister, reddit worst sister, reddit sister steals my wedding, reddit narcissist sister, reddit evil sister, reddit baby shower on wedding day, reddit wedding, reddit family, reddit family drama, reddit raised by narcissist, reddit family gathering, reddit worst family gathering

Id: 9qlYZU3hjds

Length: 17min 55sec (1075 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 30 2020