Daughter Throws Away Food I Cooked Bc She's Triggered By Its Smell So I Told Her She's Buying It Now

my daughter has been vegan for about a year me my husband and her brother have tried to be as supportive as possible we aren't a family that eats meat daily so it wasn't that hard for me to accommodate her when i do cook meat i also make something else for her and keep the side dishes common for all she does have some separate dishes but most are common and i clean it if i have to cook for her few months into the vegan lifestyle she tried to convince us to go vegan and would get increasingly angry when we said no me and husband shut that behavior down hard and told her that she can follow whatever diet she wanted but she cannot expect others to she sulked for a while but stopped doing that last weekend i cooked the family a big pot of chili a small vegan one and a large beef one so that i can refrigerate it and use for the next week next day i found the fridge empty of both the chili and turns out my daughter decided that we are being too callous about the meat she felt the smell was too much when she opened the fridge door and that she can't get anything from the fridge after that without gagging or throwing up she told me that i needed to throw out all the vegan food in the fridge and restock them me and my husband were livid wasting food is never okay with us and that was a lot of food i told her i am going to continue using the vegan products in the fridge and she can either eat it or not but i'm not wasting food that whole week she kept making faces at dinner while she ate as a punishment i gave her the recipe and told her she needs to buy them and cook it next week she yelled and begged but i stood firm in the end she did it when the cooking was finished i told her that wasting food is never okay in this house and pointed out that instead of x amount of meat being used twice x amount of meat was used because she threw the food away since this seems confusing i meant as in x amount in the pot she wasted plus x amount in the new one i didn't purposefully make her put more than what was used previously now she started crying and yelling at me about how awful and disgusting i was because i not only forced her to buy meat which she's very much against i also forced her to cook it and now i'm also telling her that it was her fault she's really upset about this so i'm wondering if i went too far should i have picked a different punishment my husband and brother definitely think what i did was right well my parents think i was in the wrong you are not wrong a punishment should fit the crime that is exactly what happened here she threw away an entire pot of food because she didn't like the smell replacing that food both through purchase and preparation is a fitting punishment if she feels bad that twice as much meat was purchased and cooked because of her actions that's because it's true hopefully this will keep her from getting kicked out of an apartment with roommates later in life because she's unlikely to throw away other people's food again just because she doesn't approve of it you're not wrong this is less about veganism and more learning that actions have consequences met my girlfriend's parents today she had been stalling for the longest time and today i finally saw why as soon as the mom opened the door and said to my girlfriend with all sarcasm oh wow i can't believe you finally decided to come and see me i knew it was gonna be a long lunch my girlfriend's mom criticized her for everything stand up straight you're gonna ruin your posture no not like that now you're walking like a man swing your hips a little more never mind keep practicing you'll get it and what did you do with your hair on and on and on and on and the dad just sat there in his chair reading his newspaper not saying a word the entire time i even walked up at one point to shake his hand but he just looked at me with a blank stare then went back to his newspaper so we're sitting there having lunch me my girlfriend and her mom dad didn't join us and the mom starts asking me questions how did you meet my daughter you look like a handsome guy i'm sure you have beautiful girls throwing themselves at you why my daughter and my girlfriend is sitting next to me with her head down just wilting like a flower i reach over and rub her back and her mother says oh she'll be all right she's always been like that she just gets embarrassed so easily i think she gets that from her father they're always both so quiet the mom gets up at one point to go to the kitchen and i lean over and whisper to my girlfriend do you want to go let's leave but she just shakes her head and says i'm fine and bend her head over to her father who was still sitting on the chair nearby she later told me that her father listens to everything and tells her mom later and this is the part where everything goes to chaos the mom comes back with some food and sets it down on the table and says here we go eat up i know my daughter doesn't make food like this at your place does she i tried to teach her when she was younger but you know how kids are one ear out the other but i always told her the way to a man's heart is through his stomach if you were my boyfriend i would be making food like this for you every day and i said to be honest i wouldn't date you it went dead silent for a moment i didn't even know what i said for a moment because i was already reaching for the food but then my mom explodes how dare you and she screeches at my girlfriend are you gonna let him talk to me like that the dad jumps out of his chair and shouts don't talk to my wife like that get out of my house we left but my girlfriend is being attacked by her family now because the mom said she brought a guy to the house who insulted her and i was wondering if my comment was a bit too far we really need a justified idiot option was it a horrible thing to say obviously was it the right thing to do a hundred percent you were the hero your girlfriend deserves you are not the idiot you're the hero your girlfriend needs to add i'm 40 and i've seen women like this the narcissistic queen bees who have to have every man around at their beck and call the brides at every wedding and the corpses at every funeral do not give her even one more second of your time tell your girlfriend how much you love her or how much you care for her if the love word hasn't happened yet i have three children 30 son 28 daughter and 20 daughter my son has three children my oldest daughter has three also and my youngest has one when my eldest grandchild turned one i'd occasionally have him overnight to give my son and daughter-in-law of break then as more came along i'd watch them too but now i feel it's at a point i can't cope with watching seven children all in one night like my children have wanted me to do so i've been watching them in groups of two to four once a week or so i don't want to sound like i don't care about my grandchildren but i had my oldest child at very young my parents refused to help raise my children apart from paying for basics until i turned a bit older which was obviously their choice so from a young age i've worked full time while raising children i've told my children on several occasions that i don't mind helping out now and then with overnight visits but at the same time i want to go traveling et cetera now i have some time to myself and also finally work on my career i always take my grandchildren children and their partners out once a week for a big family dinner and i see my grandchildren several times a week between that today my three children came over together and told me they'd been talking and they felt i'm not pulling my weight when it comes to helping with my grandchildren they've asked that i watch all the children every friday and saturday night so they can get some time to themselves and their partner i told them no watching all seven children is exhausting for two days in a row every week as they're so excited to see each other and it's also lots of work getting seven children fed bathed and into bed as a compromise i said i'd watch either all seven one night every two weekends or continuous things are watching them once a week in smaller groups they're not happy with this at all they said as the children's gran i should be expected to help out so things aren't so stressful for them as parents i already help out financially by paying for each grandchild to go to two after-school activities a week i understand my children are probably stressed from dealing with the kids all day every day and i'm happy to make up for that time by watching them a bit more often for a few months but am i such a horrible person for not wanting to give up my entire weekend on a weekly basis they've left me to think it over but i've told them i won't change my mind i'll also add that they've all admitted they aren't done having more children with my son saying they're currently trying for a fourth so i don't know what they expect me to do as numbers increase hopefully my final edit he's so deeply upset and angry at me for telling the internet our problems i said to him who else am i supposed to turn to for advice when my own children think so little of me he said him and his sisters are at breaking point since lockdown in march and i wasn't willing to break the rules and allow the kids to come to my home apparently i have no idea what it's like having to be around children 24 7 with no escape i tried telling him lockdown wasn't exactly a picnic for me either and i missed them all and their children he again said if i missed them so much i'd be grateful to get to spend every weekend with my grandchildren as i'll have realized what i was missing i told him i had in fact realized what i was missing by not having to run around after children almost daily in one way or another and spend my weekends child minding for free i told him i was done being an unpaid child minder and from now on i would watch one set of grandchildren a month and take each child out once or twice a month on their own for a couple hours so i get to know them rather than spending hours dressed by their company he started crying saying i can't do this to them i have no idea what it's like i reminded him exactly what i had given up to raise him and his sisters and it was now my time to enjoy life while seeing my grandchildren a healthy amount i told him i'll pay for one activity a month per child and the rest is on them as i know they can afford it he ended up saying he was leaving as he was too angry to discuss it further on his way out he kicked one of my plant pots over and it broke so now i don't know what life will be like going forward but i've told him what i'm willing to do and the rest is on them i'll need to talk to my daughters too about it but one has already told me she couldn't cope watching seven children once a month i also let him know he was an idiot for trying for a fourth child when he's barely there for the three he has and wants to spend even less time with them by giving them to me all weekend part of me feels good that i stood up for myself but the other part is feeling pretty bad for how this happened i'm gonna use some of my savings and book a few days away next week in the middle of nowhere with my boyfriend where we can actually relax in each other's company for once you're not wrong that's a huge and absurd ask on their parts maybe suggest the kids rotate the grandkids for the weekend so they get two out of three weekends off but jeez do your children not like their own kids or something i can't imagine not wanting your kids on the weekends at all and then trying for more background info i 45 female was born in mumbai and moved to the u.s for college where i met my husband 46. we currently have one daughter my mother has moved in with us during the global situation as she feels safer here my mother is very old-fashioned and believes that a woman on her period is dirty and shouldn't be allowed to worship handle food or touch plants i am firmly against those beliefs and do all those things regardless of my period my husband also doesn't believe in all that the problem starts here my daughter started her period yesterday and told me i luckily had her prepared with information and i kept extra pads in the house for this reason when my daughter came out of the bathroom however i told her to hide her period this essentially meant that i wanted her to keep her pads in her room wrapped up any used ones very tightly tossed them into the trash discreetly and take the bathroom trash out every day i also wanted her to not talk about her period near her grandmother as i knew she would freak out and start forcing my daughter to conform to all her crazy old-fashioned demands as she did to me when i was a girl i have also been hiding evidence of my period while mother has been staying with us this made my daughter upset i know this is partly because my husband and i have both taught her that there's nothing shameful about her body and telling her to hide her period is going against that but i don't want her to become a victim of my mother's constant spewing of nonsense my daughter loves to help me cook work in our garden with her dad and she occasionally prays with my mother in the mornings she doesn't need to be barred from that just because her body is functioning correctly so am i the idiot for telling my daughter to hide her period you are the idiot your mother is the one who needs to learn to live with you not you learning to live with her teaching your daughter to be ashamed of her body is what you're doing by upholding your mother's beliefs in your home instead of standing up to her you're ultimately choosing her over your daughter by coddling her outdated and frankly harmful views on menstruation your responsibility as a parent is to your child i agree with this and i'll add that part of protecting her is not putting your daughter at the center of this don't hide your own products and make clear that you don't follow those restrictions i 25 female hate my sister 28. i swear she's the devil incarnate she's a bully since the day she was born the first and most memorable incident was that when i was a kid my parents surprised me with a birthday party and sister threw the biggest tantrum because she wanted to blow out the candles later i had always wanted to grow up my hair because grandma used to braid my hair when she was still here with us my sister hates not being the center of attention so she put super glue in my hair i had to cut it into a bob because some hair was sticking to my neck my hair never grew back in time for grandma to braid it one last time because she passed away there are other many things she's done over the years and my parents punish her by taking her phone and grounding her like that ever did anything i'm a freelance creative clothes maker best i can describe my job i make and sew clothes from my clients designs and examples clothes that are sometimes seen worn on celebrities or other platforms the designs are not the same i'm not looking to get sued here but the style and similarity are there living with parents due to lockdown everyone in the house knows not to touch the clothes because they are made to fit my clients measurements and any little mishap can unravel a lot of the progress a friend recently sent me a screenshot of sister in an outfit that's way too similar to the one i'm making right now i don't trust my sister at all so the seat of paranoia already worked overtime when i saw the picture i confronted sister she didn't even try to hide it that she went into my room tried it on because it was a finished product and she thought her boyfriend appreciates her being dressed up she said my rule is not to touch unfinished products and that didn't apply to this outfit rule or not sister's body type is nowhere near my client's measurements the outfit can't be finished on time because of that and my client was not happy to hear about me needing an extension so i had to cancel the job and refund the down payment i lost money buying fabric accessories etc and time idiot part here i took her pricey handbags when she was on a work trip she makes good money being in a big name tech company and sold them to get back what i lost and could have made from the refunded job she found out later and lost it on me of how i'm a thief and some other insults she demands the money back but she's not getting them mom and dad obviously sided with her and said nothing too significantly damaged i lost a potential continuous client it's significant everyone is wrong here i can completely understand your reasoning of a lifetime of pent-up anger and this being a final straw but your actions reflect upon you as a person i doubt she would have paid you back the money she had lost you when she essentially destroyed your client's dress there's nothing you could do that's not of horrible grade which would amount to what she deserves i'm assuming this is on the basis that this is your first proper retaliation to her behavior in terms of all she's done to you my suggestion is to cut her off and go no contact and get a lock for your room so after a lifetime of mistreat she must let her sister go unpunished and probably ruin op's life one day in the future opie sounds like she never fights back and this is the first time she stands up for herself it's called having siblings my sister stole all my college art supplies i eventually got them back my other sister stole various shirts of mine i loved it was infuriating you know what i did got a lock from my door and moved out when i was old enough you can't validate a crime with a crime that's not how being an adult works y'all are a bunch of children who don't know how to grow up i 21 male grew up with my mom 46 and my sister 24. i moved out this year and our mom calls us over for lunch like two to three times a week and it's a family time for us my whole life i had problems with my stomach gas pain and stuff like that wasn't anything crazy but it was there my whole life i just ignored it now last night i was hanging out with my sister she told me how she doesn't like eating at home how mom doesn't care if food is expired and hates wasting food i started thinking about it and it just hit me how i never paid attention to it and how i don't have stomach problems anymore since i moved i even sleep better i was shocked i still am my mom was always cheap she never knew how to save money and would end up buying stuff we don't need just because it's on sale worst part about it we never had a problem with money we used to travel a lot she used to buy us pretty expensive and nice clothes there's never a need for her to act like this then my sister told me how once while we were still living there mom made her dinner and gave her some bread she started eating and then noticed mold on the bread she told mom about it and went to throw it away since the whole bread was rotting and mom started yelling at her and snatched the bread out of her hands and put it back to place saying that she will give it to me and i will lead it thank god she waited for mom to exit the kitchen and threw it away and that's just one case she told me i was horrified how i never noticed this i'm so mad and confused i feel disgusted with myself i texted my mom that i will not be coming to lunch today and i don't know how to deal with this you are not wrong it's one thing to be frugal and to keep food beyond the expiration dates if it's still good it's entirely another to keep and eat rotting food her attitude on this makes me think she needs some sort of therapy to act the way she did about literally molding bread isn't healthy start having your mom to lunch at your house or see her for visits that don't involve food i do think you and your sister need to have a straightforward talk with her about this though she's lucky that you all have seemingly avoided extremely bad outcomes but if this keeps going unchecked it feels like it's only a matter of time before she gets herself or someone else extremely sick

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Keywords: askreddit, r/askreddit, reddit, askwomen, reddit women, askreddit real voice, reddit stories, justnomil, r/aita, r/tifu, reddit family meal, reddit food waste, reddit vegan, reddit vegan family, reddit vegan daughter, reddit throw away, reddit family drama, reddit relationship advice, reddit aita

Id: ztvRGxCqBIo

Length: 20min 21sec (1221 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 23 2021