Signs that he will cheat again. My name is Coach Natalie and I'm a relationship
coach, and I've dedicated my life to helping people like you answer mega questions like
this: What are the signs that he might cheat again? After working with thousands of clients through
out the course of my career, there are a couple of signs that I've put together for this video
that I think might be really, really helpful for you in answering this question. Sign number one: if the first time he cheated
he denied it to the bone and the only reason he told you he cheated was because you found
out in some other way, that's a humungous indicator that he may not carry a sense of
guilt or accountability that is needed to prevent him from cheating again. If he denied, denied, denied and only admitted
what he did because he was put into a corner and proven guilty, that tells me that the
only reason he's upset is because you found out and not because he truly genuinely feels
guilty for what he did. If when you approached him he continued to
deny, to me again, there is a humungous red flag waving here. And it's important for you to know that so
that you can ask yourself whether or not this is something you want to continue working
on and committing to. Second sign that he might cheat again: he
justified it. If he's justifying his cheating saying it's
because "You're too this, you're too that, if you were more like this I never would have
cheated," that is another sign to me that he just doesn't feel the remorse that is so
needed in order to prevent you from cheating again. If he doesn't genuinely see that what he did
was wrong, or that it deeply hurts the relationship and its likelihood of success, then it's unlikely
that he's going to change his behavior. Because people change because they're inspired
to change, not because they have no choice. That's not what makes change stick. He's not going to stop cheating just because
it bothers you, he's going to stop cheating because it bothers him. Because it's something that he deeply disagrees
with, or at least eventually discovers is wrong. And so if he justifies why he did it, that
tells me as a relationship coach that he might do it again, and I think that it's another
sign that I think is important for you to consider Sign number three: he doesn't acknowledge
how much this hurts you. Again, I think that this goes back to justification
that if he's unable to say, "Holy smoke, why would I do this to someone I love so much? How could I do this to her?" That tells me that he doesn't feel empathy
and he doesn't acknowledge how important treating you well is and how important not treating
you badly is. If he can't see that his actions directly
influence your experience in this relationship, then the only perspective he's considering
is his own. He's not considering your perspective. He's not considering how this makes you feel. And without knowing how much it hurts you,
why would he be motivated to change the behavior? Why would he be motivated or inspired to be
better for you, to be better for himself if he's unable to identify that he's hurting
things, hurting people, breaking hearts? I think that's another enormous sign that
he might do it again, he's not acknowledging your feelings, he may not even deeply considering
just how wounded you are, and as a relationship coach, you know, empathy is such a significant
part of what it means to be connected to somebody. It's so important for me to put myself into
your shoes, for you to put yourself into my shoes. Let's walk in each other's shoes, let's learn
how the other is experiencing this relationship because that's such a humungous component
of what love is. It's such an important factor in keeping relationships
alive. And this for obvious reasons goes way outside
of infidelity, it goes to even the tiniest little things. Me not putting my clothes away and how that
disrupts the flow of your day, how that disrupts your experience in our home is huge. And me changing or adjusting something because
I want to be better for you is important. Him changing something because he wants to
be better for me, for you, is important. We want to be better for our partners, we
want to grow, we want to learn, we want love. And all of those things are a big part of
what love is. So I think that if you see these signs, if
he's denying, if he's not showing remorse, if he's justifying his actions, if he's not
even acknowledging your pain or frustration, those to me are humungous signs that he might
be cheating again. And it's important to consider what that means
for you. Do you want to continue investing in this,
running the risk that he might do it again, do you believe that maybe if you express yourself
in a different way, he might understand and then change? What are the variables that are in your control
and what are the variables that are not in your control? A lot of the ones that I've listed are not
in your control. His ability to develop empathy has very little
to do with you, has so much more to deal with him. And so I would really identify what it is
that you can work on and what you can contribute to to make the relationship better. Him denying or justifying his behavior, those
are his problems, not your problems. That's a "him" issue, and not a "you" issue. And so if it's not a "you" issue, there's
nothing you can do other than choose to stay or choose to go. That's the choice you get, that's the variable
within your control. So choose it wisely. I'd love to hear about what it is that you're
going through. I invite you to leave a comment under this
video. Let us know if he's been cheating. Let us know how you found out, let us know
if he's changing, let us know everything! The more you share with us, the more we can
help you along the way. I invite you to visit HAPPILYCOMMITTED.COM. We have so many blog articles, tips, and tricks,
and tools and ways for you to turn this relationship around or just to determine if it's salvageable,
if its serving you and if it's good for you to continue working on. My name is Coach Natalie ,this is HAPPILY
COMMITTED, thank you so much for tuning in, make sure that you hit the "Like" button before
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content like this that is relevant and so damn important in keeping relationships alive
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