How To Rebuild A Relationship After Cheating | Building Trust After Cheating

how to rebuild your relationship after [Music] my name is coach Natalie and I'm a relationship coach and I've partnered with the amazing coach Adrian to create happily committed for you guys there at home to help you overcome whatever it is that your relationship is throwing your way if you're watching this video and you've recently cheated and you're trying to turn your relationship around you're in the right place I have a few tips that I think might be really helpful for you these tips I'm going to break into two parts part number one the things that I want you to do with your partner to move forward from the cheating part number two the things I want you to do with you to move forward from the cheating let's handle part one first [Music] when it comes to cheating you have to imagine that not only have you impacted your relationship or the way in which your partner looks at you you've directly impacted the way they look at themselves you make them question their love ability how attracted they are how valuable they are how worthy of love they are and that is one of the bigger obstacles that lies ahead of you it's not just rebuilding your relationship it's helping her or him rebuild the relationship they have with themselves reminding them that you appreciate them reminding them of their value it's gonna be really important for you to incorporate in a your daily routine right now their own self-esteem has collapsed and you're now responsible for giving them the boost that they need to feel better that can be as simple as bringing home flowers that can be as simple as tidying the house when you know that she or he has had a really rough day at the office that might mean sitting there and listening to them yell at you at how badly you messed this up take it I can alts because as long as they are your faults they aren't their faults that helps alleviate the blame and why they feel they deserve for you to do what you did by justifying how much pain they're feeling they can start to move past it they can start to let it go but if you try to sweep it under the rug if you try to pretend it never happened if you deny that it happened even though they know it did you are showing them why they need to leave you you are showing them why this relationship is not serving them as women as partners we want to feel like we're in this like we're a part of this so if you're dismissing what they're feeling if you're dismissing their words or dismissing their cries for attention you're only showing them the door you're showing them why exiting the relationship makes more sense than fighting for it so right now you might be the bad guy take it be accountable for your role in this so that when you try to fix it and you try to showcase different behaviors and you try to be more present they believe it's genuine if you try to defend yourself justify why you did it or pretend it never happened it will become impossible for them to feel emotionally safe and vulnerable in this relationship with you which as you can imagine just makes this whole thing worse so part one is to appreciate your partner part one is to take accountability for your role in this even if it means being the bad guy at the dinner table tonight and tomorrow and the next day knowledge that the pain is real so that you can start to chip away at it when it comes to recovering from something like this I also want to prepare you for the fact that this isn't a sprint this is a long-term commitment this is a marathon and so if you try to turn this around overnight and then lose patience you're handling this the wrong way in relationships consistency is credibility so when you try to fix this and you try to show her or him that you appreciate them and that you want to be present with them but then you stop you prove inconsistent keep going and earn the credibility it will make all the difference [Music] part-2 if you're trying to move past cheating it's important for you to spend time identifying what brought you to cheating in the first place how did you get here what are the choices you made what are the choices you felt your partner was making that drove you into this spot were you feeling jealous were you feeling needy were you feeling overlooked neglected by knowing what went wrong by narrowly defining what you were feeling that drove you to cheating is the way that you will not do it again cheating more often than not comes because it comes from something missing there's something missing maybe it's affection maybe it's validation maybe it's attention maybe it's acceptance something is missing and you fill it with this really bad decision you fill it with this wrong move in hopes of somehow they making you feel better then more often than not you determine it doesn't make you feel better and now you're in trouble and the cycle continues so if you really want to kick this cycle start with you I want you to spend some time really plunging into what drilled you to do this how did you get here did you think about it wasn't impulsive we keep drinking or you want drugs were you neither were you sober what were you doing the only way to fix something is by identifying how it broke the relationship didn't break by the cheating the cheating is a symptom of something else identify the illness and you'll kick the symptom don't look at the cheating for what it is look behind it look beneath it before it what is it that developed into cheating if you can answer that you can really discontinue this behavior you can really modify this approach and you can handle this relationship currently and when you feel that your partner will feel that too because they've invested so much into you they know you they know what you're capable of doing and they know what you may not be as capable of doing so be mindful of that focus on the change and then worry about whether or not they'll see it don't focus on them seeing the change unless the change is there that in another word is just manipulation change first credibility will come from there and turning the relationship around bluetooth I believe that you can do this and I've had the good fortune of working with thousands of people in very similar shoes you are not alone people do overcome this but it's the people that change that see the results the people who just try to sweep it under the rug and jog past the problem tend to encounter the problem maybe in another shape or form and at another time but all the same it will come back these things don't just go away unless you dissolve them I would love to hear about the steps you've taken to try to rebuild this thing I'd love to hear about what happened with the cheating how it started how it ended how she or he discovered it did you come clean did they find out the more you share with us the more we can help you and I would encourage you to visit happily committed calm we got so many tips tricks tools everything there to help you move forward from this challenge from this moment it's chapter in your relationship so that you can go back to the good stuff on our website you've got blog articles programs products packages things that can help you see the results you want in your relationship that is our commitment to you to help you stay happily committed to the person that you love the most so my name is coach Natalie I am a relationship coach thank you so much for tuning in and we look forward to hearing about what's going on in the comment section below don't forget to subscribe before you go because we post content just like this all the and from a relationship coach I can tell you that the easiest way to recover from a breakup is not breaking up and that means preventative tools preventative ways to stay happy and this channel has gotten so thank you for tuning in and we will see you soon [Music]

Channel: Happily Committed

Views: 145,326

Rating: 4.9512196 out of 5

Keywords: how to rebuild a relationship after cheating, building trust after cheating, successful relationships after cheating, steps to rebuilding trust in a relationship, how to move forward in a relationship after cheating, how to gain trust back in a relationship after lying, fixing a relationship after cheating quotes, how to fix a relationship after you cheated, infidelity recovery stages, how to get over cheating guilt, how to trust someone again after cheating, happily committed, love

Id: 0v34rubI7LQ

Length: 9min 45sec (585 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 20 2019