She Ignored Me On Purpose!

[Music] hi I'm coach Corey Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter and the topic of today's newsletter is going to be she ignored me on purpose how could she do this this is over Aegis I cut three emails to go through with you today and these are one guys in the UK one guys in Gambia West Africa and another guy think he's in the United States so we get to see is this is kind of a global issue and you you been following me for a while you know that as I talk about in my book three percent man that no matter where you are women are going to respond the way they're going to respond so I teach you naturally and innately what women respond to that creates attraction and obviously what turns them off and so what you're going to see was these emails as these guys are doing things that turn these women off and on top of that they they're in there in situations with these girls where the girls really weren't that into them and then they didn't do themselves any favor and so this is part you probably heard me say many times about loving yourself and valuing yourself if you love and you value yourself if somebody doesn't reciprocate you're gonna make hey it's their loss I'm gonna find somebody that wants to hang out with me and is excited to see me but if you don't value yourself and you don't think you have a lot to offer then when you get ignored that action from that other person matches your belief about yourself so it seems normal oh I'm getting ignored I'm a piece of [ __ ] and she's treating me like a piece of [ __ ] oh this is normal let me continue reaching out and pursuing her so it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that's why a big part of this is all about your mindset and how you look at yourself and when the other person doesn't want to play tennis with you so to speak it's just time to walk off the court and go find a different tennis partner so with that said I got a short quote that I'm gonna read and then we're gonna go into the first guy's email and see where he's going wrong the quote says people who actually care about you will make the effort to make you feel loved wanted and valued people who don't will display flaky and inconsistent behavior and take you for granted people will treat you in response to your self perception and what you invite and allow them to get away with always go where you are wanted welcomed and celebrated not where you are merely tolerated you've also probably heard me say in the past no one will ever do or say anything to you that you don't invite them to do and a lot of these all three of these guys are doing things in essence they're inviting more of this kind of behavior through their own actions without realizing it so let's go through the first guys emo says hi Cory your videos have been extremely helpful I've read how to be a 3% man book and we'll be reading it another 14 times so obviously he's new and he's been through it one time I would say it first critique that's a little bit part of the problem that's why I say you got to read this 10 to 15 times because what you're doing when you read 3% man 10 to 15 times is you're undoing all of that programming that we've all grown up with from TV and the media's and just cultural and societal norms that are just simply not accurate especially when it comes to romance and human behavior and so it's like you have in essence like a computer program if you will running around in your mind that's kind of like a virus it's like a mind virus and it's sandbagging your success and you don't even know it's there and that's why reading the book over 10 to 15 times it teaches you a new mindset a new way to think so you can spot patterns patterns and other people patterns of behavior and respond appropriately it makes you intuitive almost a little bit psychic if you will he says so I've been dating this girl for five months we met at University in the UK where I am from October and spoke for a while it was never it was ever since that first meeting she would come to my class after lessons and sit with me talking to me until I went home I found this bizarre because this is the first time a girl has ever shown this much interest in me so right off the bat she really likes him and as I talk about 3% man the woman likes you she will help you and this girl liked him and she just went over and sat down next to him to see what would happen because obviously it's up to the man women will put themselves into your orbit but it's up to the man to progress things from there to the first date ultimately to the bedroom and obviously if you're looking to get married living happily ever after on your wedding she did this all the time until she had to leave during Christmas break to go back home to her country she broke up with her ex in November because things weren't good between the two of them and she told me that she's thought I could give her what she needed in other words hey I think you're gonna be the replacement for my ex he says this sounded nice at the time but now I'm not so sure well that's the important thing at the time at that particular present moment in time or in the past if you will she said exactly what she was feeling because at the time her perception toward you is that things were you were doing obviously everything right she was coming to you she was pursuing you she was putting herself into your orbit and you were reciprocating and you were smart enough to recognize that she was obviously into you things like this what happened to me when I was your age and I had [ __ ] no idea it was going on I just thought hey she's friendly my friends would be going come on dude she [ __ ] likes you what's wrong her that girl are you sure you think so you think so it could be perceived like I'm some kind of tool I now know from reading 3% man to stay away from the phone or in the start of dating but during the Christmas break we would text back and forth and call once a week so the idea is the more time you spend talking and texting and whatsapp being and snap chatting always different messaging things the less you typically spend in person and if you're trying to get close physically with somebody and create some romance you're not gonna do that through digital device all you're gonna end up doing is becoming her emotional tampon her plaything and something to keep her amused when she's not around the guy she's sleeping with it's harsh we gotta be real she would text me and say that she missed me missed seeing me in real life so when she returned I suggested going to her place to make dinner and hang out we were intimate before we even made anything haha after that night we spent more time together and dated on the weekends due to school she was very into me through her actions we would more often than not call each other most evenings and talk as it got to March the lockdown started and she had to fly back to her home I assume it was in another country her communication pretty much dropped so when you're in this kind of a situation where now you're long distance because I you know this happened to pretty much everybody that you know with the coronavirus it's like you're some places you're not allowed to travel from city to city so it's like what do you do in that situation I did a video about it about the topic social distancing dating in the era or dating and social distancing I think was the name if I remember right but the idea is you want to limit the chitchat on the apps and therefore you want to have a date on video whether it's Skype video or FaceTime or one of the other video messaging services that you can use where you can actually have a real date and sit down and talk to one another and then just like you know cuz in normal times if she was in your city you might be texting back and forth or whatever responding her or text and letting her do most of that doing 70 80 90 percent of the initiating then it's always her idea and you don't have to worry about over pursuing and so that same method applies and then instead of a physical in person date you're doing the video dates in the video dates are just like a normal day because you see each other you can react to each other's body language tone of voice its ohm and it's about it's gonna be the closest that you can get to being there with that person but if you just constantly are on the phone chit chatting and you're not really having kind of dates and then what happens is the woman starts to back off and then the guys start to call and text more and then she starts to back off more the guy senses there's something wrong typically they start confronting her what's wrong you seem distant no I'm just confused I'm busy and then you get these BS excuses that kind of don't really make sense and that gets a lot of guys into trouble because then they really start pursuing and they literally just chased a girl right out of their lives to where they just get ghosted he says I now know from reading 3% mana stated from the phone during to start dating but during the Christmas break we would text back and forth and call once a week I'd say you're part of your problem is you were too much texting and chit-chatting and you should have more emphasis on the weekly date so in other words she's got the weekly date to look forward to on video she would text me and say that she missed seeing me in real life so when she returned I suggested going to hers make dinner hang out obviously they hooked up that he says after that night we spent more time together in data in the weekends due to school and she was very much into me through her actions we were more often than not call each other most evenings and talk and as it got to March actually I already read all this part so she used to be very responsive but now she would take hours to respond at a time this may sound petty so you can tell he's getting butthurt but going from her responding from minutes during Christmas break being back home to now her taking hours to getting back to me gave me the feeling that something was off yeah it means that her attraction is dropped and that means that you're talking and texting and chit chatting too much to where she's basically gotten bored with the conversation and that's why it's so much more important to have a date to look forward to like in this case a digital date but she wasn't as into me we do texting during the night which is nice and she does miss me and looks forward to seeing me but even so things aren't what they used to be that's where you when you notice that it's like you start backing off a little bit you kind of want to match a mirror because you know again he's only been through 3% man once so far so he doesn't really understand the basics but what's going on is that her attractions dropping like it goes up and down because women are kind of like cats and as she backs away you got a letter B and since you don't know the material that while she backs away and you don't know what to do you're thinking there's something wrong I gotta fix it let me call her and text her and see why she's not as into me as she was which makes you look weak and needy and insecure it'll make her back away even more he says I know I sound so [ __ ] butter but surely anyone is going to find it offensive when being ignored intentionally which as you say is passive-aggressive behavior you should take it as a sign that you're talking and texting too much but again you'd know that if you read the book 10 to 15 times but you've been through it once and now you're in panic mode and you're freaking out and you're chasing away says maybe it's because of the lockdown I doubt it could you please give me some advices what to do in my instance should I call her out for ignoring me on purpose or just accept the fact that women are emotional creatures and sometimes they just aren't in the mood I see the last sense is pretty accurate there dude so what you're doing is you're getting all wrapped up and your self perception that you're not good enough and what is that causing you to do scared and worried and fearful there's something wrong I got to fix it I got to confront her and now you're really doing is confronting her with your insecurities and women can recognize that because they've been bombarded by them since the time they got they got interest first got interested in boys so they were a little ahead of you guys as far as the game so you know if you're kind of being obnoxious and you know sometimes they'll troll you sometimes she just doesn't want to deal with your BS especially if you're one what's going on why aren't you responding quickly just take it don't take it personally just say you know what we were obviously talking and texting too much scarcity creates value so let me give her the gift of missing me I will wait to hear from her and when I do hear from her I will treat her like I always do I'll be excited to talk to her and we'll progress things from there you gotta let her do most of the calling texting pursuing that's where you're going wrong you you're mindsets [ __ ] things up and it's screwing your actions up and then that in turn is pushing her away you have to let women come to you at their own pace especially when you're long distance like this let's go to the second guy he's email he says okay coach I met this chick on tinder and I've been trying to meet up with her in person but she said she was scared to meet people from the internet come on man in other words she's just not into you enough to want to meet you so I figured I'm gonna get to know her comfort her and talk to her which I did we hit off after about a week she complained that I wasn't talking to her enough so I talked to her some more I don't want to over pursue so I kept a distance again let her do 70 80 90 percent of the calling texting pursuing that means the in contact initiation that means all conversation threads are closed you're not waiting here from her she's not waiting to hear from you and sometimes you'll get a day 2 3 4 especially in the beginning 2 3 4 days in between hearing from her and when she says oh how come you're not talking me it was like let's get together for some coffee let's get together for a drink that's when you make the effort to try to make a date because now you've been talking to her for a week especially with the dating apps the more are you texting chitchat back and forth the less likely you are in other words the longer you do it the less likely you are to actually meet in person the goal is to get the number and eventually chitchat on the phone see if you like girls see if the conversation flows if you even want to meet in person and then make a date if you got somebody it's skittish and hesitant but they're doing everything right but they won't meet you women go on tinder and the different dating apps just to validate validate that they have interests in how it's sometimes it helps them do things right what guys that they're really into that aren't responding to that the way they want so go on the online dating apps just because they get a bunch of dudes throwing their dicks at them and it makes them feel good and then they don't feel so bad if it doesn't work out with the guy at they really like so you don't want to be one of those guys that become her little plaything to give her attention and validation while she's waiting to hear back from the guy she really likes he says after I put in more effort to talk to her she started putting in less which confuses me I don't know why or what to do I'm not constantly nagging her every minute of every day I typically respond within an hour or three or four just because I feel like it's normal though she has not been replying for like seven or eight hours when she used to reply superfast so again that's where the matching and mirroring that I talk about my book comes in is that you went up you want to make sure she's doing more of the initiation than you are and if she backs off you back off and what happened was she backed off and you kept pursuing he says I don't know if there's another guy or she's testing me to see if she can control me to chase but I'm being impatient or I'm being patient and sticking to my plan well part of the problem is you're calling and texting too much and then you're getting butthurt when she kind of disappears he says actually she told me jokingly that she was talking to two other guys it's probably like five or six other guys and I told her I didn't care not to talk to me about them as I'm not a second option she said she was kidding and I'm not the only one that's when you're gonna have some kind of a playful comeback it's like yeah but you like you better than those guys yeah but I'm more handsome than those guys so I'm confused as [ __ ] this one chief do you think she's waiting on me to ask her for a date come on man come on do you read the book ten to fifteen times which you can read for free at understanding relationships calm while you do subscribe to the email newsletter got to learn the fundamentals dude so you got her warmed up because members so you took what she said oh I'm afraid to meet people from the internet and you're just like oh I should never ask her to meet for a long time you get her warmed up enough to where she's pursuing you and texting you in several days or a week or so it's going by yeah you go when you asked for the date you don't keep talking and texting the point where she's you know taking 78 hours to reply so I'd say probably right now she's probably not gonna be that excited if you're reaching out to her to make a date that's why I would wait to hear from her see how she is and say well let's get together for a drink and if she won't meet up or gives you some BS excuses just say hey get in touch with me when your schedule frees up in you want to get together then I wouldn't call her text her again for any reason and if she reaches out a day or two later hey what are you doing hey check out your schedule you ready to get together or can you get together what's your schedule like and she gives you though I'm not sure yeah it's like okay well you know give me a call when you change your mind or give me a call when you're available just like right out of seven principles get an ex back and then after that if she keeps calling and texting you talk for two to three minutes max in the phone send one or two texts replies maybe three back and forth total and say hey I got a run it's great hear from you keep in touch and then don't ever bring up getting again getting together again and don't talk for very long and she's gonna notice right away that you're you're kind of busy that you're not really putting the energy in that you were before almost like somebody else has your attention if you met another girl and this girl who won't meet you is still texting you how are you gonna treat her think about it from that perspective so let's go to the final guys email he says hi coach I'm writing from Gambia West Africa I met this girl in 2016 and since then I've been following her and she rejected me a couple of times with excuses and freaking out because I was so madly in love then I stopped calling her for about nine months and last year in October of 2019 on my birthday she called and wished me a happy birthday which I was surprised and a few minutes later I sent her a message on whatsapp and she responded can we have a drink one of these days because it's a long time and immediately said yes sure and then we went on a date the following weekend so it's like he eventually got to the point where he realized this is not going anywhere and he just walked away nine months went by that's the beauty just like never know when sometimes you you're gonna hear from women years later that's the power of not staying engaged with somebody that's either got a boyfriend not that interested or not repine just let it be and if there is any kind of interest when they become available and they haven't heard from you you're gonna probably pop in their mind and you'll be getting a message but again that assumes that there's interest two days after our date she accepted to be my girlfriend since things were so adorable and sweet between us yeah dude you don't go out on one date and then ask her to be your girlfriend bad bad bad bad way to go too much too soon tells me obviously you didn't read the book you've got to read the book you gotta learn the fun of miles it's free to read on my website are you all you need is an email address which I know you have cuz you sent me this email are you gonna do dude you got to learn the fundamentals you got to have you got to participate in your own rescue so it's like he you basically went right back to every doing everything that turned her off a year ago almost a year ago things have been so adorable and sweet between us until after Valentine's week we were together on Valentine's Day but soon after she left my house there's no mutual communication between us I will call a texter II now and then but she'll never initiate any call or sms for nearly two months and I asked her what's wrong bad move she said she's working and and doesn't is not given time to communicate right makes total legit sense so I became worried one thing she'll always pick up my call and return my SMS but why is she not initiating any caller SNS it's my worry because you're doing all the chasing and acting like a woman and she's doing nothing and you you did not notice that she backed off and you kept pursuing and sounded like you became clean clingy needy and stalkerish and now she has the same perception of you that she did in October of 2019 to be frank I used to buy her gifts and in fact when Corona broke out I asked her to pick up hand sanitizer from the pharmacy but still she didn't pick it up and even though I paid already I'm confused it just means she's not that India bro that's reality you're assuming that she likes you but you're ignoring the fact that she's act acting like somebody that has no interest and yet you're proceeding like normal because that's what they teach you in the movies you get blown off and ignored you just keep pursuing it doesn't work that way in the real world on June 15th of 2020 I messaged her so that we could have dinner a walk at the beach and she replied let me check and get back to you since then I didn't hear from her I have been I have not been calling her too since they replies so I'm thinking no contact again what do you think of this in her behavior well it sounded like when she came back she was into you and then you quickly exhibited all his Saint behaviors that turned her off a year ago so my suggestion read the book 10 to 15 times at this point I would let her do a hundred percent of calling texting and pursuing wait to hear from her when you do make a date and if you have a date with her again stop talking about boyfriend/girlfriend stop trying to lock her down no commitment or any of that [ __ ] let her bring it up you're doing the opposite of what I teach right now and you're just simply not gonna be successful when you did follow the things that I teach especially walking away after she blew you off a year ago she came back to you so there was interest on our part but you quickly turned her right back off again and now you're kind of back where you started back at square one and nowhere so it's a lot of guys do this they back off they go no contacting the girl reaches out they go right back to the same behavior needy and secure behavior that chased her out of their lives the first time around so read the book 10 to 15 times let her do most of the calling text and pursuing you're doing way too much pursuing and ignoring the fact that she backed off so if you're in a situation you're scratching your head Neiman what the [ __ ] I can't figure this car out and you'd like to talk to me you can book a coaching session at understanding relationships calm any page of my website click the products tab and you can book a coaching session with me and until next time I will talk to you soon [Music]

Channel: Coach Corey Wayne

Views: 88,691

Rating: 4.9309492 out of 5

Keywords: get ex back, attraction, cold and distant, taking too long to reply to texts

Id: kMJNAQc1Ibg

Length: 25min 43sec (1543 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 06 2020