Shane Gillis and Matt McCusker Do NOT Want D.K. Metcalf to Bang Their Girl - Answer the Inrnet

i'm big into sucking tits how long do you suck the tits for as long as you go yeah uncomfortable a girl just lays there like [Music] uh then just make sure we're looking towards the lens like the past few times we've been like having side covers oh okay look at that directly into it even important talking like just gotcha why why would that why would that matter all right i guess it looks stupid [Laughter] i'm not gonna break the entire time i'm not gonna blink hi i'm shane gillis hi i'm matt mccusker and we're here to answer the internet matt is there any athlete you would be okay with [ __ ] your wife serena williams i've been thinking about this a lot lately i've been thinking about dk metcalf and what that would do to me like the devas because think about oh yeah think about all the guys think about all those poor ole miss alumni that dk i mean dk metcalf whoa he's a horse i haven't seen him he literally would be if you wrote down this is getting racist the last guy the last guy i would kind of want it i mean every time i watch him play i'm like [Applause] you'll see i'll be white knuckle in the cap you won't even notice my he would do what i would like to do he'd probably lift her the whole time he would it'd be like it would be like that it'd be like you know that porno one yes where there's two boxes i've heard of it they both look like they came back two dk's and a lady just mid air what percent of showers do you jerk off i would say 25 what would you rather have a 10-inch dick with no balls or a 4-inch dick with balls well [Laughter] i think we know life's pretty good but obviously a yeah 10 inch take notes these balls do me no good well nobody i mean the girls don't like the balls you don't really need the balls they're getting away they're just kind of they're fun this is nice yeah exactly i guess i would guess i've been doing this i would miss this could you get like a four inch wide boy yeah like a girthy for like a soda can well the girls they hate the balls but some of them don't like 10 inch dollars oh at least that's what they truly for sure [Laughter] girls are constantly quests for average pipe dude do you like it nothing but it's like they do say that but if your boyfriend was like perfect had a 10 inch dick you'd be [ __ ] super happy about that i don't think no way dude nobody i've ever dated what a [ __ ] [ __ ] compliment what i've heard girls say this be like some they're too big that's not good i like yours it's like thank you that's the truth you could put any franchise restaurant in your house what would it be sweet green easily healthy going with the health yeah man 20th in the year of 20 in the year of omicron bro true you just had it it woofed your ass it got me pretty good no it's not funny anymore is it still very funny i tasted his bio weapon dude and i want nothing to do with it that was definitely a bio weapon dude i felt it you can tell when you can buy a weapon versus natural sickness that was a bioweapon that was made that was man-made that's both of our dancers yeah i would put the nih i know what i'd do if i didn't i'd put the i'd put the nih in my house and keep an eye on them that's what i'd put in my [ __ ] house i would get a wet market from wuhan yeah i would like just wild [ __ ] animals that's true just guys munching bats would you go to a football game at a 70 000 seed stadium if you knew that 500 seats would get ejected into a black hole but everyone who didn't get ejected would get five million dollars yeah i want the black hole i'm gonna get ejected into the abyss i know the real benefit here would be being one of the guys that gets gets to be ejected into a black hole a full grown great white versus a full-grown polar bear in an olympic-sized swimming pool that is seven feet deep and 75 degrees fahrenheit who wins great white great white easily this isn't even close gray white not to be trifled dude a great white's so much faster that's not like that does not suit the great white's abilities what do they say about bears they say if it's a if it's a black bear fight back they asked us they put this out just so that yeah you guys just wanted to talk you guys love bears well polar bears are hungry that's why they're like that they never find food true so that's why they're a little vicious but come on dude great white bro polar bears are losing the [ __ ] weather polar bears aren't [ __ ] [ __ ] shane would you rather have free strippers for life or free pizza for life free strippers is that yeah let's getting [ __ ] yes i'd rather get a ton of [ __ ] that's what girlfriends are girlfriends are definitely just yeah you'd also need you would need a lot of coke to keep free strippers for life satisfied yeah you could just keep getting free strippers yeah but what are they gonna do you ever hang out with the shrimper no me either the uh wait you wouldn't you wouldn't like that hanging out with strippers no don't hang out with strippers all the time oh yeah you're a married family man yeah i don't mind bringing the ladies in no it turns me on my wife dude my wife is so [ __ ] hot dude free strippers [ __ ] gluten allergies so i can get like a you know i can get a cauliflower crust or something just unlimited cauliflower across that sucks why are you lying about this answer free strippers what am i going to do with them bring them to your house make them perform yeah and leave and then pay four bucks for a pizza they're gonna they would they would hype me up they would stoke my fire they would stoke my fires and i'd make love to my wife we would the card would have said [ __ ] if we meant horses it's strippers they're dancing and giving you lap dances okay so they're not touching your penis at all they're like rubbing your dick 83 percent of the readers chose pizza you got a low tea audience a lot of dudes hate strippers though they really do they pretend to hate they say they do yeah i've seen it guy i've said it a thousand times and i keep going to street it's a problem like that'll be uncomfortable i don't like going to them what's your real name i love you i should go by myself did you ever go to strip club by yourself no donna you went to the strip club alone multiple times how was it it's pretty cool it chilled i don't like the loaners they always like walk up to the thing you know it's because it's their girlfriend yeah it's their girlfriend oh yeah yeah there's dudes that like bring them lunch and stuff right yes that's dark no dude it's a girlfriend you guys want to hang out you guys were all free strippers a second ago this is the reality of it would you rather give up sex or the tv remote for the rest of your life uh the tv remote yeah i don't care yeah you got to give them a second i'm pretty remote hungry guys you're remote hungry you know i'm remote you've seen i've given up the control of the yeah so i'll television hang out with my friends with like-minded ideas we're watching trump compilations yeah i'd rather have sex for life dude sex for life dude sex is like you got for 15 all you're doing is giving up the remote you're living like my girlfriend lives currently she has no say in what we watch right she gets through it now you watch sometimes you get a good thing dude i just watched pirates of the caribbean one do you ever see pocs dude that was good yeah poc it was getting this weekend and i watched this weekend i just watched poc sometimes you get to get one i love ps4 girls do have obviously the worst taste it's always my music and then the second they get i listen to kendrick lamar be like me which fictional character would you love to beat the [ __ ] out of captain barbosa from pirates [Laughter] prophet muhammad sean penn and i am sam i would whoop his ass dude you shouldn't have a kid you think you're fit to raise this dumb kid and i beat his ass in the parking lot after the hearing i would do uh sharp monster charlize theron i saw a lady i'd beat her up for killing them that murderer before she did it they could travel back in time i'd she's a [ __ ] i'd hit her with like i'd hit her with a crowbar just like all the other johns you'd get tricked so fast would you rather a [ __ ] yourself every time you come or b get a boner every time you talk to a dude yeah just b get a boner every time i talk to a doctor yeah i would chop him up yeah definitely problem how often do you have boners usually early morning flights that's a boner for like three hours yeah you ever get an uncontrollable long bonus long flights early morning drives yeah get in the car yeah i don't i have no problem having a boner is no problem yeah so boner part of the tuck method i mean that was all of high school i talked to dudes while having a boner the entire time there was no problem in fact think of all the conversations you and your boys were both you wrecked on a lot of them some of my they're my fondest memories dude my boys hard as hell chopping it up chopping it up it was always great when there was a kid who didn't know the talk method true who didn't know the talk dorks like when the teacher would be like come up and present and they were like i don't want to but if it's gym day you got the sweatpants in a catholic school and then you might protrude the sweatpants that's [ __ ] dude it's just now it's a helmet dude i've told this i've told you this one time it was uh it was in eighth grade and we were lifting for football and i had a boner in the weight room so i talked with my gym shorts but then it was my turn to bench so i laid down and my shirt came up the tip of my upside down penis was sticking out and my friend who was spotting was like shane's penis is out and everyone had a good laugh i died and then i wrapped 2 25 okay at all no i it was over i mean that was a long time ago that was [Laughter] that dude's reaction so ashay's penis [Laughter] if you could [ __ ] anyone you wanted but they'd die immediately after who would you pick doctor [Laughter] every white dude at ole miss would be like yeah you can play one video game for the rest of your life which would it be you don't like gaming though jet moto too you know what game i played for a very long time was echo the dolphin remember that and i it i never got out of the first level i played fifa for a very long time yeah ncaa ncaa i'm still playing yeah okay no question exactly right kevin thank you for knowing me better than i know myself through gta gti if you could party with one sports team from history who would it be 1997 russian olympic team 1936 german olympics [Laughter] what a wild time that would be if there was a database of your lifetime internet history how much money would it take for you to make it public 500 that would be my number i would be embarrassing how much i searched myself yeah that would be but like it's not porn it's like it's other [ __ ] like that although there's some porn yeah this is definitely yeah it's definitely not important it's not poor at all no one's worried about that oh you're bored fired up i'm an open book i'm sure you're very public about it yeah oh yeah guy's not lying what's the weirdest porn you watch deep horn bro that's not weird anymore that's i was ahead of my time but now i hate it that's just [ __ ] jump dude t t porn dude yeah oh yeah yeah we just say the full word yeah we talk about the community mathematically it makes more sense for us i've heard this i've heard this argument yeah it's true with this argument about the guy has nice tips too and like a nicer i've tried it dude you see like the clavicle while they're [ __ ] i'm just like that stinks that's regrettable the first one i love happening because matt was talking about t porn a lot and i was like i'll give you a couple names bro well bailey we all know all right aubry dude you can't do a family i watched one matt told me to watch it i watched one and there was a part where the the t was going at it and finally when the t finished he was like that was just like yeah what have i done but when the guy does that you don't have a problem i like guys i like guys you don't want your guys to just be guys and not have my guys having fun i like big guys having fun true true and you know what i don't like is the little hump women not for me that's scarier than people i would say i would agree with you on that just nubile boys having sex with mature women disgusting sound wholesome but when you call them that it makes them a little more once you describe them as new you're my own boys now you've peaked my interest talk matthew if you could be a master at one of the four bases of sex but you'd have to be below average at every other base i think what are the bases yeah i think we're both pretty good at eating [ __ ] for sure and that's it and we are below average in every other fish i would excel at sucking titties dude yeah just be nasty yeah that's crazy you mentioned that i've gotten into that it's the best i'm big into sucking tits do you suck the tits for so long yeah uncomfortable how do you encounter a girl [Laughter] oh yeah don't worry babe i got you and then i'll start sucking the other one she's like my nipples are actually they hurt you've chased them do you do you laugh do you latch [Laughter] yeah yeah dude latching's a [ __ ] well you you just recently had a child you must be running into some some nip holes bro yeah i'm patiently waiting in my return i don't want to cross wires yeah cause that's exactly yeah i don't want to show her what's good i'm gonna have the baby baby who also has your dna who would probably be naturally oh yeah if you're watching on youtube click here to subscribe so you get all the new episodes as they come out and john what should they click if they want notifications make sure you click thumbs up for the like hit that bell icon

Channel: Answer the Internet

Views: 1,264,031

Keywords: answer the internet, ati, ati barstool, barstool, barstool answer the internet, barstool sports, comedy, dumb questions, entertainment, feitelberg, feits barstool, hypotheticals, internet, john feitelberg, kevin clancy, kfc, kfc radio, matt mccusker, mike feeney, one minute man, shane and matt secret podcast, shane gillis, stand up, stand up comedy, weird hypotheticals, weird questions, gilly and keeves, kfc barstool, barstool podcast

Id: QZHyg3X67vI

Length: 16min 39sec (999 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 10 2022