Sex worker - the truth behind the smile | Antoinette Welch | TEDxAntioch

Video Statistics and Information

Video
Captions Word Cloud
Reddit Comments

Excuse me, wrong link. juno mac

👍︎︎ 3 👤︎︎ u/deja-vu_dogmom 📅︎︎ Mar 13 2020 🗫︎ replies

THIS!

👍︎︎ 2 👤︎︎ u/xNewZealandx 📅︎︎ Mar 13 2020 🗫︎ replies

No such thing as a happy hooker?

👍︎︎ 2 👤︎︎ u/skeptic196 📅︎︎ Mar 14 2020 🗫︎ replies
Captions
Translator: Jeesun Youn Reviewer: Peter van de Ven Do you know what I dreamed of being when I was a little girl? I dreamed of being a police officer, and it came true. I spent the first 14 years of my professional career as a police officer. And you know that police officers have the best stories. But before I begin telling my stories, I want to warn you that one of them has a bad word in it. So when I get to that part with the bad word, I'm going to pause and do this, and you all are going to pick the word of your choosing that's bad. But keep it it mental. Okay? Agreed? Okay, so ... There I was, fulfilling my lifetime dream of becoming a police officer. I had just graduated from the Police Academy and could not wait to get out there and save the world. So, of course, my first assignment was to be dressed up like a prostitute and wait to be solicited by men. This is not exactly what I had in mind for saving the world. So, I'm standing there on the street corner, assuming that everyone has lived the same life that I have, you know, having a pony, being in a sorority, graduating from college - normal life experience, right? To say I was naive is the understatement. Well, there I am, hanging out, and this guy pulls up in a pick-up truck, flags me down. So I go bebop-on-and-on over there, and he says to me, "How much for ... you?" and I went, "Oh my god!" (Laughter) And he looks at me, and he says, "You are the police!" and he drives off. I said, "How did he know I was the police?" And my sergeant said, "It might have been your reaction." (Laughter) And in my defense, I was like, "Did you hear what he said to me? Do people talk like that?" So then, another day, I'm out there. Well, this man pulls up to me in his car, and he is completely naked. He has no clothes on, anywhere, not even in his car. You look kind of funny when you're like, "Hey, sir. Yes, can I help you?" Well, as we're taking him into custody, all I kept thinking to myself was, "I hope this man has a garage that he used to get in his car." (Laughter) Well, as my years went by in the police department, I realized there was actually nothing funny about prostitution. I saw ten dead bodies in my career as a police officer. And four of them were murdered prostitutes, and each one of these murders was very violent: a very bloody stabbing, a gun shot wound, a crushed skull. And the woman who was strangled to death wasn't found for days until people in the neighborhood started to complain about a bad smell coming from an abandoned car. I also saw first-hand that women involved in prostitution were the most likely demographic of people to be beaten, stabbed, shot, raped or murdered. And the ones that survived these attacks said they usually didn't call the police because they were afraid that the police wouldn't believe them, they were afraid they might get arrested, but mostly they said, they didn't call the police because they didn't think anyone really cared. There is a great myth that women want to be prostitutes, that they enjoy it. I like to call that society's "Happy Hooker Pretty Woman Syndrome." Over the last 20 years, I've gotten to know hundreds of women involved in prostitution, and the Happy Hooker could not be further from the truth. No little girl ever dreams of growing up to be a prostitute. The reality of it is, over 90% of the women who are involved in prostitution were victims of child sex abuse, or they were raped by the age of 18. The average age of a child becoming a prostitute is 13. And the children that started getting prostituted are usually by their own family members. They start getting swapped out for rent, drugs or even extra money. A woman that I met who was a prostitute, she said that her mother started prostituting her when she was just six years old. These women are told their entire life the only value that they have is what somebody else will pay for their body. Another myth is that these women want to do it, that it's voluntary; it's consenting adults. Do not be fooled by a woman who may be smiling as you walk into the hotel room or at the massage parlor or getting into your car. It is a farce. The traffickers and the pimps of these women know how to hurt these women, and they use fear to control them. They say things like, "You better smile and do it, or I'm going to beat you within an inch of your life." Another myth is that all these women are foreign, or it happens only overseas. All of the women I'm talking about? They are all Americans. Sex trafficking and prostitution is happening in most cities in America. So, what does a prostitute look like? Well, she can look like this, or she can look like this, or anywhere in between. I have personally known them to be mothers, daughters, sisters, grandmothers. Race is not a factor. Age is not a factor. The oldest woman I met who was prostituting was a 64-year-old grandmother. Some women prostitute because they have a terrible drug addiction, and they are doing it to support their habit. Some women are victims of child sex abuse and do it because they think it's their only value. Others are runaways or homeless, and they have to prostitute just to get something to eat or have a place to stay. Then there are the single moms, who are scared, that feel trapped and desperate. But they know that they can make enough money in one weekend that they will be able to support their family for the rest of the month. Do these women sound like they want to be prostituting to you? When you talk to them, they will all tell you the same thing: How they hate what they are doing. How they have no hope. How they have to do a line of cocaine just to put a smile on their face to get it done. How each day that they turn takes little bit more of their soul. How they have no hope. How they feel completely worthless. Does this sound like these women want to be doing this? Or does this sound like women that are being forced, whether it is by their pimp or their trafficker, their addiction, their mental state, or just a mere desperation to survive? Eight years ago, I left the police department and went on to become a prosecutor for the state of Tennessee. And while working in the court system, I saw that a lot of women started getting arrested for prostitution; it was an explosion. But it was around the same time when websites like Backpage began posting ads for prostitution. And I realized all these women ever getting arrested for prostitution, a lot of them had no idea of the social backlash a conviction of prostitution would bring. But more importantly, a lot of them did not realize the danger they were in for being raped, viciously attacked, or even murdered. And I also began to strongly suspect that a lot of these women being arrested for prostitution were actually victims of sex trafficking. These victims don't like to tell the police what's going on, because they've been brainwashed into believing that the police won't help them, or that if they do tell, and their pimp or trafficker finds them later, he is going to make sure they regret it. Forever. The consequences of a prostitution conviction will affect you for the rest of your life. We as a society think it's perfectly fine to think less of a woman involved in sex trafficking. We crack jokes about it. No one really seems to care that much about it. But the truth is I believe if any of us really took a good look at ourselves, we are judgmental. We may say, "No, I'm not being judgmental," but if we found out that somebody that was important to us, or a family member, or a co-worker, or a friend had a conviction for prostitution? I think it would change your opinion of them for the rest of your life. If you have a prostitution conviction, you may be ineligible to rent an apartment for up to five years. Employers don't want to hire somebody with a sex crime history. So, what are these women left with? Nowhere to live, nowhere to make a living, we're basically forcing them to go back into prostitution to just survive. Now, compare that to men who are arrested for using prostitutes. It's more acceptable. We are quick to forgive them, you know, men have needs. But we don't hold that against them forever. And why is that? Is it because boys will be boys? And I realized that we needed to do something, that we as a society needed to realize the ramifications of this thought proces and how we needed to do something to break the cycle of prostitution, and identify the victims of sex trafficking. These women needed a second chance. They needed a good experience with the judicial system. But most of all, what they needed was to know that they have value, that they were worthy of love and support. Then God laid something on my heart, and I came up with the Hannah Project. Hannah, from the old testament, was harshly judged for her status in life. But when she was told she had value and that she was worthy of love and respect, it changed her entire life. Hannah Project is unique. It works with the court system. When someone is arrested for prostitution, they now have the opportunity to attend the Hannah Project. When they attend the Hannah Project, a judge agrees to dismiss the charge against them and have it expunged. This is huge, this is a do-over for these women. So what happens at the Hannah Project? Well, it's a one-day, court ordered program where these women receive a free HIV/STD test and an STD class; they are given information about how to get counselling for sexual assault and trauma; they hear from a representative from the judicial system who talks about local cases of women involved in prostitution who are either murdered or seriously injured. And we don't do that to scare them, we do that to bring home the reality that this happens even here, no matter the size of the city. And lastly, we have a speaker who is a former victim of sex trafficking and prostitution herself. She can speak to these women on a very personal level and tell them that escape and recovery are possible. We have organizations that are there with us that can help these women immediately, whether it is to escape, to get a job, to get housing, help with their drug addiction. But the thing that surprised me the most about the Hannah Project, that had the biggest effect was treating these women with love and respect. At the end of the day, the women fill out a survey, and there is a section for comments. And this one woman wrote this comment: "In this class, I was just like everyone else, and treated as such from the start. That meant more than anything." How sad is that, just treating someone like a person can make that much of a difference. How do we show them love and respect? By verbal affirmation and acts of service. Every Hannah Project we have volunteers that come, that do nothing but love all these women and serve them. We serve them breakfast; we serve them lunch; we give them a goody bag at the end of the day. It is so amazing to watch a group of women that come in that morning, who are sad, and broken, and very defensive, but as the day goes on, you can see that there's hope, that they are starting to realize that people do care about them, that they are lovable. By the end of the day, we are hugging each other, crying on each other, and loving on each other. It's amazing. And how do I know that it's love and respect that is making the big difference? Because they tell me so. And they write it. So many women have written the same thing as this woman did. "Thank you for caring." Is the Hannah Project working? Yes, it is. I've had women call me, email me, visit me to tell me how their life has changed since attending the Hannah Project. We are starting new Hannah Projects in different cities in the state of Tennessee as well as the state of Georgia. Over 1,000 people have attended the Hannah Project since 2011. One third of those people were identified as victims of sex trafficking. If not for the Hannah Project, the judicial system would have unknowingly convicted all of these victims of a crime. In our culture, because of our cultural attitude, we are keeping these women from seeking help, and forever branding them with a mark of shame and judgement. We as a society need to change our views on prostutituion and educate those around us that prostitution is not a victim-less crime. So, what's the truth behind the smile on a sex worker's face? The smile is a mask that is hiding fear, force, threats, child sex abuse, rape, addiction and shame. It makes me wonder what these girls dreamed of being when they grew up. Thank you. (Applause)
Info
Channel: TEDx Talks
Views: 981,264
Rating: 4.7032824 out of 5
Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, United States, Social Science, Activism, Compassion, Criminal justice, Human Rights, Nonprofit, Philanthropy, Sex, Sexual Assault, Social Change, Social Entrepreneurship, Social Justice, Society, Trafficking, Women
Id: n9_REwV8zfU
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 15min 11sec (911 seconds)
Published: Mon Oct 26 2015
Related Videos
Note
Please note that this website is currently a work in progress! Lots of interesting data and statistics to come.