Reading Body Language | Janine Driver | TEDxDeerPark

we're the left with the right knock him out [Music] come on [Music] what if you could get exactly what you want in life by reading and understanding the body language of murderers stay with me stay with me for a minute and my young 20s I got a job with the federal government three lettered agency in law enforcement my specialty was firearms trafficking how to tell when people are selling guns illegally to kids to convicted felons to bad people and while I was getting trained to spot this patterning of behavior how we learned was through decoding the body language of murderers and if you had told 22 23 24 25 year old version of me that by decoding the body language of murderers one day I would be a better business owner better at negotiating a better daughter a better mother I would have said you were out of your mind I had no idea what I was learning at that time through decoding the body language of murderers how it would change my life and so many other lives suey I worked at the World Trade Center in New York City for a while and going through a lifestyle where you're looking for the bad in people wears on your soul so I took a stand-up comedy class at night not because I thought it was funny because I wanted to have funny friends or at least people who thought they were funny and I remember I was going to a comedy show one night with this woman Andrea and if you live in New York City you know you probably don't own a car the only time you had driver cars where you have to rent a car to go someplace and we were going somewhere we were doing some type of comedy gig I don't know if it was on Long Island or in Jersey somewhere I was with this woman Andrea another comedian it was late at night and I rented the car but it was pouring rain it was dark out and I said to Andre you got a drive dude because I have night blindness I can't see at night I don't drive at night especially in the rain and she's driving and she's what can you tell me what do you mean you have night blindness a guy literally can't see at night I mean I can see the street signs like I can tell there's a sign ahead that either you have to take action and seize an opportunity or avoid some type of pain or trouble I see that there's a sign I just can't read what it says and I thought to myself what a great metaphor for life have you ever had these moments where you could see something you see a sign ahead you just have a gut feeling about someone not to trust them they seem so likable but there's something inside that says they're not telling me something they're not telling me something they're holding something back but you can't see it clearly you just get that vibe you just feel this you see the sign just have you ever had this moments so for me this Andreea know what she did she was trying on my glasses she handed him to me I could see I was like oh my gosh I could see she comes once last turn yet an eye exam I'm like I don't know six years old when the last time they do them in school if you don't wear glasses as a kid you grow up to a be an adult you don't go get eye exams because mom's not making the appointments anymore right so I put the glasses on I could see and I thought wow this is what my training taught me through decoding the body language and understanding the body language of murderers it gave me a pair of glasses a lens to see the hidden messages behind all human beings and here's the deal I call it ESL some people may tell you ESL is English as a second language but I say ESL is everyone's Second Language ESL everyone's second language what are people saying to you without them realizing they're saying it to you in August I was tapped to talk about this case I don't know if you followed this case I'm going to introduce this family to you in a second but my social media was lighting up like collect a Christmas tree I was getting text messages I was getting private messages on Facebook everyone's like Janine you got away in this pregnant woman and her two young daughters have gone missing and the husband is doing every interview possible he's all over the media his name is Chris Watts I go online just like you might do and III went to check it out I'm like alright well what's the deal and I watch it and I shit again and I watch it again and I watch it again everything I can find on this Chris Watts and everything I can read about him people are attacking him he totally did it he must have killed them he's a bad guy and other people like I know this family I go to church with this family this is a good family he's a good man he's a good father stop attacking Chris watts a grieving man a grieving man and then I put this post see my post talks about what I saw first I apologize and I say I'm praying for this pregnant woman in her two young daughters I'm praying that they are safe and there is no one way we all grieve there's no one way that we all deal with anxiety and stress when we're nervous it shows up completely different in all of us and with that being said I said I hope I am wrong in my following analysis because my analysis is screaming this guy has done something really dangerous and really stupid and literally I'm a prayer person it was the first time in my life I prayed that a pregnant woman was a battered woman and that maybe she was just a battered woman and and she took off with the little ones and she's somewhere safe in a battered women's shelter if you had ever told me that I would pray that a pregnant woman would be a battered woman I would say there's no situation on earth that I would ever pray for that but here I was on that day in August 2018 praying that that was the best-case scenario because what I saw knew decoding the body language of murderers for over two decades was not good was not good see I posted pictures of the suspicious behavior right here you can see smiling you know what was missing from this guy every interview he was doing to emotions we're missing fear and sadness never once in any of the interviews did he do did we see sadness or fear never we start anger we saw disgust and we saw happiness and I put these pictures in social media on this day in August and I highlight the different emotions that I'm seeing and I'm talking about what I'm not seeing which is I'm not seeing fear and I'm not seeing sadness and I'm seeing all sis vicious behavior of someone who is keeping a major secret from us less than six hours later Chris Watts confesses to police that he killed his wife and later confesses that he killed his two young daughters I put on social media I hope this is a time that my analysis is wrong and sadly it was not what are we missing with the people in our lives the secrets that people are hiding from us and how can it help us have more wins in work and in life and in love by understanding ESL everyone's second language see by understanding everyone's second language I believe and I know as a fact that you can have more wins in life you can have more wins in life ESL ii i blocking when i talk about i blocking when someone's eyes closed a little too long or they hide their eyes what it messages it's ending f shoulder shrugging what is a shoulder shrug what are they saying when you see someone shrug there's a definitive answer of what they're saying right now and is the number one best body language move that people are doing in our everyday lives professionally and personally that we miss over and over and over and you wake up and you say i'm blindsided how did I not see this happen you didn't see it happened because no one trained you in ESL everyone's second language how many of you would like to kiss those I never saw it happened those moments goodbye and say I saw it happening I knew what to do in those moments yes shoulder shrugging last but not least is our lip locking lip walking is when our lips disappear they are sending you a signal and I'm going to talk to you today and teach you what is the signal that people are sending see just like my friend Andrea that comedian gave me those glasses and I could see everything clearly I brought the ESL glasses today to give each and every one of you how many want to walk out of here with the same lenses I trained the CIA and the FBI in Scotland Yard police and Procter & Gamble and coca-cola you want the ESL glasses say I do then stand up you got to take the oath repeat after me I swear to use the ESL glasses for good not for evil and for those people who are not listening because they were afraid of the talk title let's give it to them anyway everyone take a seat first let's explore i blocking i blocking is when our eyes closed a little too long or when we're talking to you we suddenly disappear if you pick your kid up off the bus and every time you go to the bus stop your kids bus driver always has a hat in front of his head and it's front of his face and he's like hey hey mrs. Johnson hey mr. giant never looks at you this is suspicious behavior this is not normal behavior this is what's called i blocking i blocking we're gonna explore you all do i blocking we all do it and i'm going to talk about when do we do it here's i blocking I want you to think of your cell phone when you put your cell phone down you don't use it for a while often a screen saver will come up and if you have it programmed correctly a screen saver with the passcode will come up in order to open up your phone why do we have that screen saver with the passcode to protect our private stuff on our phone if someone happens to come by and grab it a stranger our friend a significant other are about to be X employee or X supervisor someone that's going to see your phone and you don't want them to see your private information even if you have nothing to hide it's no one's business this is what I blocking is doing i blocking is saying I don't want you to see what's happening here I don't want you to see what's happening in here and also i blocking takes away the visuals here's when we I block have you ever been like at an airport or in a crowded space and you get a phone call so everyone's here you're all in this auditorium you get a phone call do you take the phone call and look at everybody what do you do you go to a corner right or you look down you're like yeah yeah yeah some of you will get smart yeah huh yeah yeah yeah I'm at a TEDx talk yeah in New York yeah Long Island I don't even know how I got here is wicked hard to get here yeah yeah right you go to a private space you go to a corner you get small you take away the visuals if you continue to look at the people in front of you what happens on the phone call what does that person say know what they say to you you're not listening to me are you hello are you distracted are you listening to me no why they're saying that because they can tell you're being distracted by all the visual data that's coming at you so your response to them is delayed see when we're lying we have the truth to remember in the lie to remember and what we want to do is remove some of the data come and add us so we can remain on the path of deception and keep our secret from you does this make sense so you can see this in weird ways I'm going to talk about Chris Watts here next to Chris Watts this is the man in Colorado who murdered his pregnant wife Shannon and his two daughters Celeste and Bella this August 18 2018 then we see Scott Peterson Scott Peterson murdered his pregnant wife Laci Peterson then you're gonna see Ted Bundy Ted Bundy murdered we know he confessed to 30 people in several states probably way more than that and then Susan Smith Susan Smith drowned her two kids put him in a car seat they died by drowning when she drove the car into a lake but she told the media and the police what a black man came and took the car and her kids were in it no one was suspicious beyond just esoteric explanation she said this black guy came and took the car and I was worried that they would kill my kids wait a minute was that a black man or several people it all of a sudden became a day many things were screaming Susan Smith is lying including her smiling when doing press conferences in the media so let's look at how long do they do i blonde King now Chris Watts is only a second and a half and I may not seem long but I want everyone right now to look at me and close your eyes and I'll tell you in a second and a half is over ready close your eyes open them now imagine you I want you to imagine talking with that kind of second and a half this little hiccup see what happens is a guy named Spencer Kelly at Colgate University he wanted to find out if your body language sends a message to your brain so if I said to you I'll have a peanut butter and jelly on my socks please as you might imagine your brain goes peanut butter and jelly on my socks what if you imagine your brain waves like a heart monitor that it creates what's called I call it a brain hiccup but the professionals call it and 400 peanut butter and jelly socks Spencer Kelly a Colgate University one to find out if my body language doesn't match what I'm telling you does that person who's communicating with us pick up on it in the answers yes but the difference is you're seeing that sign on the side of the highway you just need some ESL glasses to decode what it is but your brain picked up on it knows there's an opportunity or a warning up ahead you just don't know the specifics but you will after today so look at this nine seconds we have with Ted Bundy Susan Smith spoke on national television and listened for 34 seconds with her eyes closed 34 seconds with her eyes closed let's do a little experiment let's do 9 seconds so I want you to look at the person next to you behind you one of you will talk and one of you will listen here's how this is going to work decide who is going to talk whoever's going to talk I want you to say I'll talk and I want you to talk about your favorite presentation today your favorite TEDx talk for nine seconds I'll tell you when you can open your eyes you're going to talk for nine seconds with your eyes closed telling this person looking right at them and the person looking at the person speaking just look at them I want you to feel how weird it is for someone to talk to you for nine seconds with their eyes closed ready decide who's going to talk raise your hand if you're the talker so I can see where my talkers are okay look at your partner ready set go stop raise your hand if that felt weird right I want you to start noticing the first step on ASL is noticing these i blocking noticing this i blocking i want to say to my baby your mama loves you so much [Music] the eye blocking is happening while she's talking about how much she loves her kids my sons Angus Charlie and Jack off to the left here you see Jack he's my youngest then Charlie then Angus little Charlie and Jack when they were first little ones Jack was a brand-new baby and Charlie was one Angus came home from a baseball game in DC when Angus came home with my husband I'm upstairs in the bedroom it's about 8:30 p.m. and I see Angus come up and I'm like Angus and he goes uh-huh any eye blocks and he slams his bedroom door now I don't know how you were raised but in my family if we slam the door growing up my mother and father had a policy called I'll solve that problem policy right the door would be off the hinges by the next morning and dad's workshop but my Angela would tell you when you know better you do better and I know better because I know angus is i blocking and I also know that anger is a secondary emotion to things like fear and sadness and anxiety so instead of me going in yelling to kangas's perceived anger because he looks angry but I know there's more to the story here because I speak ESL everyone's second language and I went in and I rubbed his back at what's going on bonnie was up and i glisten are you sad scared or angry and he burst out crying he burst out crying he hears mom we were in the baseball game and I know you've been traveling a week and you were home just for one night and tomorrow you go on another trip and Charlie and I go to bed at 8 o'clock and I just wanted to see my brothers and dad said I was trying to trick him and that if I left the game early he would take my iPad because he thought I was tricking him and I just wanted to go home and play with my iPad now this is a big deal because Angus has learning differences and every day he takes an hour and 15 minute bus ride to school into DC so I looked at Angus and had you been there you would have heard me I said listen buddy first thing the boss in this household so don't worry about the iPad you can totally use the iPad second of all I don't mind waking up Charlie and Jack I can put him back to sleep see me understanding ESL everyone's second language I created an amazing relationship in a conversation with Angus that if I didn't understand I would have went in and said hey manners make the man you don't slam the door when I say hello you say hello back I want you to imagine the outcomes how they're completely different when you understand English I mean everyone's Second Language ESL shoulder shrugging shoulder shrugging is uncertainty look at the person next to you in with the shrug same so glad you sat next to me so glad you sat next to me shoulder shrugging it's unser Dona did you wake up and say no yes I saw her when she got in but it was really quick just because it was 2 a.m. in the morning but I saw the kids in the monitor before I left and I saw my wife and she came in I saw her when she came in it was really quick it's tiny little let's watch this guy Drew Peterson were you surprised when the body was exhumed and they changed the determination of death very much surprised for sure because for many years you know my childrenht we've been you know believing that you know she died in a household accident the number one missed Alan body language is a shoulder shrug they're indicating there's something they're uncertain about there's something they're uncertain about Billy's evey one of my clients came and took this training on reading and decoding and understanding the body limbs of murderers and he went into a pitch meeting flew from Las Vegas into Florida had this big pitch he was going to do and he sat down he said to the person that he was pitching I'm curious you've had the same vendor for 25 years what is leading you to look for new pitch ideas into partnering with the new vendor and when his potential client began to speak he goes well we're just not happy with them anymore we're looking for a change and he begins shoulder shrugging billy ZB took him and his team and his presentation and walked out the door said we're not a fit for what you're looking for we wish you good luck his team's like what are you doing dude we're totally prepared you paid all this money to fly us in here he goes oh yeah they're just fishing for other people's ideas they're not going to go with another vendor did you see all that uncertainty guess what happened two months later they announced they stayed with their own vendor they were in fact looking for other people's ideas other people's ideas look at this guy he's gonna shoulder shrug when he says I want to thank the sport and all my fans and I want to thank my wife he shoulder shrugs when he says wife why do you think he shoulder shrugs with wife oh he's going to show you thank you very much for for for this for giving me this and I appreciate my friends also my wife and my girlfriend I mean my wife yeah sorry to say I'm so I'm so sorry my wife little I love you so much thank you very much for for for this for giving me this and I appreciate my friends also my wife and my girlfriend yeah I mean my wife yeah listen I believe you can't unsee something unhear something or unexperienced something you can't unhear and unseen on experiencing you yourself when you shrug your body is telling you before your thought even kicks in well I'm uncertain about something what am i an uncertain about I'd love to go on a date with you oh look what just happened there what's going on all right there's something you're uncertain about there's something you're uncertain about last but not least lip-locking when we don't like what we see or hear our lips disappear pull your lips in and say to the person next to you you smell amazing you smell amazing you smell amazing repeat after me when we don't like what we see or hear our lips disappear here we see Chris Smith Chris Watts he is his lips are gonna do it non-stop with him he's doing a tongue protrusion here this is another move we won't be talking about today but that is connected without a doubt - everyone's Second Language ESL we see this with Jodi arias we see this with different murderers that have been on television and we've seen them as I begin to say my goodbyes I want to introduce you to my mother my mother's my best friend on earth see when Mom was first diagnosed with breast cancer she is a pretty good sport about it she's a happy person all the time and I remember she called me one time and she has a much Janine if this breast cancer kills me I I die and come back to earth I'm coming back to earth as a swearing person like you and your father you have cancer now you could totally starts wearing shoes that's not who I am it's just not who I am a next day I call my mother answered but I thought it was my sister kaeleen because whoever answered said hey what's going on bitch I was like a lien cuz now it's mom what's going on bitch I go what's going on what's going on with you she's I'm trying out the swearing thing how do I sound I go you sound fantastic think of all the years you've been missing out on two days later mom who's in such good spirits comes to visit me in Alexandria Virginia how you doin she goes fine like what's goin on she's like nothin and her lips begin to disappear I go mom you and I both know there's something you're not telling me what is it had you been there you'd have seen mom burst out crying burst out crying she goes listen a year ago my dentist told me I had something in my throat and I had a PET scan done and the doctor never called me after so I thought it was good news but now that I have breast cancer I had to go get that over that record from the PET scan from my throat and I picked it up three weeks ago Janine and in it says that in my throat I have cancerous cells so I can't sir I think through my whole body not just my breast but everywhere I think I could fight breast cancer but I can't fight it if it's everywhere when you understand ESL everyone's second language you can have amazing conversations with people and you can change their lives see mom said I don't want you bringing it up don't bring this up to the doctor do you understand me but I know anger is a secondary emotion to things like fear and sadness and anxiety like okay mom I won't say anything we went to the hospital to meet that surgeon I pulled the surgeon aside hey my mother thinks she has throat cancer because of this report you look into it he said yeah I'll look into it sometimes we need to fight for people who can't fight for themselves wouldn't you agree listen I I would love to tell you what happened on the outcome of that report but instead I thought I'd let my mom tell you she liked to meet my mom ladies and gentlemen let my mom tell you what happened here when I went to visit her just me married after my diagnosis I lied in her that I'm sorry that I had wondered what is Saigon's flora can in but I came back and said that had throat cancer just in my teens that they look like something in mental health oh so I went to the doctors everything even say anything but I never got to be more so just before I went into Mass General so I guess or 10 o'clock at night in Armenia and I see this and I'm ask in the next area is the light not right away I appreciate sir it has metastasized draw help body so I hope they don't change you guys away get that stuff out of you and I remember Jeanine I broke down and told you told you but you need to see the doctors Janine got the doctor out on the side and it has the doctors to look at the skin and lollardy halt they came back and they told me that it just was cancer it was originated as a breast that was the greatest gift I ever had I was treating her with me because getting that beer with me of our ones and uh Thank You Janine for clarifying that that was the biggest gift God had for me that day because I live there I know it's up there saying okay just look I'm fighting it's not all over my body so thank you for that [Music] you now have ESL everybody's second language and I challenge you to use it use it to detect deception in to find truth and to protect your ideas and more importantly use it to help somebody to take a stand for someone who is full of fear stress and anxiety but they're showing up as angry use it to find out and uncover the secret that they're hiding because here's the deal I believe when we take a stand for truth all of us we take a stand for truth we can all have more wins in life and love and in work maybe just maybe these people and our lives are waiting for us they're depending on us to see and to code their body language so we can hear them so we can hear their pain we can hear their fear and we can hear their heartbreak break my name is Janine driver I challenge you to use your ESL everybody's second language thank you thank you thank you [Music] c'mon you

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 1,097,390

Rating: 4.8749952 out of 5

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, Social Science, Body language, Education, Self improvement, Self-help

Id: lvxJoUuG018

Length: 27min 35sec (1655 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 13 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/OGDiva]

Wow, thanks so much for sharing this- EXCELLENT information. You know, I want to go back and rewatch every video with the Dumbell couple. I'm sure I'll learn a lot!

[u/jbeezcrazy]

What I got out of that was they aren’t showing any fear or anger. Haven’t heard them talk so it’s hard to read body language.

[u/MindlessMagazine]

This is great! Thanks for sharing. I look forward to seeing more footage of the Doomsday Duo so I can analyze their body language!

I already think Lori is a very good liar. But as we all already knew...her smiling, laughing, being "happy go lucky" (as described by the police officer) in the body cam footage after Charles was shot is very telling.

[u/vulpecularmae]

Remind me! 24 hours “reply to this thread”

[u/NedRyersonsHat]

Excellent. Thanks for sharing this. Shoulder Shrugging.....hmmm.

[u/SentimentalPurposes]

Commenting now so I remember to watch in the morning

[u/kat_nip2020]

https://youtu.be/lvxJoUuG018

[u/sttct]

Thanks for sharing that was great