Seth MacFarlane Oscar 2013 Opening #HelbertGongDel69

the hell's going on enterprise so don't be theater come in hell in Dolby theater this is Captain James T Curtis will you respond Captain Kirk what are you doing here well I'm here to stop you from doing what you're about to do the show's a disaster what what do you know what are you talking about it's going fine no it's not listen to me I've come back in time from the 23rd century to stop you from destroying the Academy Awards this is the newspaper headline from tomorrow morning Seth MacFarlane worse Oscar host is that bad your jokes are tasteless and inappropriate and everyone ends up eating you why couldn't they just get Tina and Amy to host a show yeah I can't Tina and Amy host everything okay I know I'm I'm sorry they'll be hosting next year but look justjust tell me tell me what it is that I do wrong well to begin with you seeing an incredibly offensive song that upsets a lot of actresses in the audience what what's the song I'll show you I brought a recording of the Oscar telecast back in time with me you'll be able to see exactly how you ruin the ceremony we saw your boobs we saw your boobs in the movie that we saw we saw your boots Meryl Streep we saw your boots in Silkwood Naomi Watts in Mulholland Drive Angelina Jolie we saw your boobs in G they made us feel excited and alive and at the way we saw your boobs in Brokeback Mountain Ali berry we saw them in monstrous Paul Nicole Kidman and Eyes Wide Shut Marisa Tomei in the wrestler but we haven't seen Jennifer Lawrence's boobs at all we saw your boobs we saw your boobs in the movie that we saw we saw your boobs Kristen Stewart we saw your boobs in on the road and in monster we saw Charlie's Thrones helen hunt we saw them in the Seth shows and Scarlett Johansson we saw them on our phones Jessica Chastain we saw your boobs in lawless Jodie Foster in the accused Hilary Swank and boys don't bribe Penelope Cruz in Vanilla Sky and Kate Winslet in heavenly creatures and Jude and Hamlet and Titanic and iris and little children and the reader on whatever you're shooting right now we saw are your boobs we saw your boobs ladies and gentlemen the Gay Men's Chorus of Los Angeles [Music] this just so you know I'm not I'm not actually a member of that chorus I was just joining in at the end there Oh trust me in July 2015 you joined the chorus [Applause] okay what do i do how do I fix this what do I look look look these people don't want you to mock the movies if you're gonna do a song sing one that celebrates the movies you know a classic oscar-winning - you said it yourself that's what tonight's supposed to be about alright I think I got it ladies and gentlemen Channing Tatum and Charlize Theron [Applause] [Music] someday when I'm awfully low when the world is cold I will feel a glow just thinking on [Music] No [Applause] yes the way [Music] there with that did that fix everything well let's find out seth macfarlane pretty bad Oscar hooks still why what else happens you do a reenactment of the movie flight entirely with sock puppets take a look all systems go captain Oh J hey Gord a second glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug let's do it captain you don't look so good are you okay I am now I'm gonna have to roll it [Applause] ah I'm in so much pain hey it's me your drug dealer you want some drugs mm-hmm that's that's not that bad right are you crazy you're a white guy in 2013 you can't wear black man come on Denzel doesn't care he's got a great sense of humor you know all those Nutty Professor movies he's hilarious well the point is keep it classic you've sung a song okay all right how about this ladies and gentlemen please welcome Daniel Radcliffe and Joseph gordon-levitt thus what makes that [Music] [Music] just remember that did it that have to have dinner what is the headline say now get help but still not enough Seth MacFarlane proves to be mediocre host that that's actually the best review I've ever gotten so I'm gonna I'm gonna go ahead and take that if that's okay are you sure you want to be the first Oscar host ever to get a bad review alright fine fine so so what else do I do that screws up the show well you're incredibly disrespectful to one of the evenings most prestigious nominees look at what happens in the green room hey how's it going in this cool Flying Nun you know who's a fan of The Flying Nun in this room this guy really me yeah well great that's great thanks a lot hey I saw Lincoln oh thanks hello I wasn't complimenting you I was just saying I saw the movie oh um you know when I was a kid I used to watch The Flying Nun on TV and I gotta tell you I'm not ashamed to say you were so hot wow it's very nice to me to say that and Gidget you as Gidget oh my god so hot uh-huh don't you have to get back on stage or something no no Adele's out there screaming her song at everybody I'm I'm fine I'm good but there's something about the nun man there's something about the nun I don't know whether it's because it's like forbidden fruit or whatnot so ridiculously hot this is actually making me very uncomfortable you have a funny what are you doing in about six-and-a-half hours after the show's over I'm gonna go to a party or something great I'm in count me in man fire up the Trans Am let's do it go anywhere I'm nominated you know they're gonna give it to Anne Hathaway let's go yeah but out of respect I think I have to look I got a bottle of wine on some boniva we'll have a great time really I think if to help we're not gonna go to the Helen Amy I don't know who that is Jackie no hell they're gonna give it to him yeah [Music] Hey I went home with Sally Field that's awesome no no it's not Sally was supposed to win and she wasn't there to get the award what happened amy adams ran up and grabbed it yeah yeah they tried to take it from her and she bit a guy oh my god look you're almost there you got to give him a big showstopper make your audience feel welcome and then start the show okay all right I think I got it orchestra please as we honor all the best with a telecast designed to put your patients fantastic there's joaquin in his threads hope is on his meds daniel day we love the beard but Lincoln's voice was kind of weird [Music] [Applause] the star whose name [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause]

Channel: Helbert Gong del 69

Views: 685,263

Keywords: Oscar, Seth Mac Farlane, Opening, Humor, Comedy

Id: ugiCxCfqPi4

Length: 11min 32sec (692 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 16 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/AnotherJasonOnReddit]

0:22 "Nooo ... it's not."

That's such a Shatner way of saying that :)

[u/Whales_of_Pain]

I remember people saying “Wow look how offended those actresses were about the boobs song, Theron wasn’t having it!” And she’s in the sketch. Like when people were abuzz about the chemistry between Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga for their romantic song performance. Guys, they’re proefessional actors

[u/Ralph-Hinkley]

That 'we saw your boobs' song was great, but a bit dated now with Jenny Lawrence.

[u/azb1812]

Well this makes me feel old

[u/Bobb_o]

The last time he wore the TOS uniform was in 1986 for an SNL sketch

[u/JasonYaya]

Shatner doesn't know how do do Kirk anymore, just Shatner.

[u/saraseitor]

That was very entertaining. I stopped watching the Oscars in the 90s so I'm glad to see they kept doing funny things

[u/____cire4____]

Well that went on WAY too long. Love the ST: VI era set though, Bill looks not too bad in the uniform even!

[u/SirGreenLemon]

Is it a coincidence that Seth MacFarlane, the man who keeps the spirit of 90s Trek alive out of all people hosts the Oscars where Shatner appears as Kirk?

I think yes.