Sermons - Matt Chandler - The Complementary Roles of Men and Women

hi Pastor Matt listen thank you for downloading or streaming this sermon pray that it blesses your heart two quick things that I want to lay before you before we get started in the proclamation of God's Word the first is and I love that you're dialing in to hear what the Lord's put on our heart here at TVC but I ask that you would only consume these messages as supplemental and in no way replacing your commitment and your listening to your local church pastor these are good gifts of God's grace for the people of God to grow in and yet they are not to replace ever meant to replace our belonging to a covenant community of faith where we are the the second thing want to lay before you is is that there are a lot of man-hours that men and women here at the village church put behind not just the creation of this but the creation of all kinds of resources that are meant to help you grow and develop as a disciple of Jesus Christ and so if this blesses you or the other resources that have been created have blessed you would you consider giving back to the village church to support not just these things with the creation of even more resources for you and really for anyone who wants to indulge in them now I pray that God stirs your affections for Jesus Christ as you listen now to the proclamation of God's Word my name is Nikki and I serve as a deacon at the flower around campus I've been at the village for six years our pastors have been kind to encouraged me that I have the gift of hospitality and that is led to doing things like serving in connection central welcoming people into service giving the announcements and leading events for women and for singles here at our church as our pastors and elders take seriously the topic of complementarianism I pray that the women of the village and powered and emboldened to walk out in our gift things not only by their support but by the Holy Spirit I don't think there's a certain script for how that needs to look and that's the beauty of it as women we can serve the church and help others flourish in their gifts if only we would step into ours [Music] well good morning how are you doing alright alright if you have your Bibles go ahead and grab those are gonna be in Genesis chapter 1 we are in the back half of our Fall Series and this back half has focused on really the distinctives of the village church when we use the word distinctives here's what we're talking about that there are some things that one must believe doctrinally speaking there are some things that one must believe in head and heart that would make one a Christian and then there are these other things that Christians who believe this kind of clothes hand of theology will differ on while still being brothers and sisters you're tracking with me and so we started doing that three or four weeks ago when we started with where the village church lands when it comes to baptism and the Lord's Supper and so we believe in believers baptism via immersion which means you get baptized after you become a Christian and then we believe in the real presence of Jesus in the Lord's Supper which means we're not transubstantiation Istanbul Eve that like the bread literally turns into the body but we really believe the presence of Jesus is in the presence of his people while we celebrate the Lord's Supper and and ears well we've said all sorts of people disagree with us on that that our beloved brothers and sisters in Christ like Methodists disagree with us on baptism on that front right Anglicans gosh even our presbyterian brothers would look at that and go you're wrong and I'm here going no you're wrong and they're like no you're wrong and when we get to heaven we will accept their apology all right and so that was uncalled-for right so that would be a space where men there's disagreement but Jesus is Lord he's the savior of our sins he is the only means of grace that makes us right before the Lord we're just gonna disagree on this and that's okay it's just okay right they're not heretics I don't need to villainize them I just think the wrong and they think I'm wrong and I've got dear friends it would just strongly reject everything I just said and that's fine because I would strongly reject everything that they're saying about those subjects right and then week two we talked about the electing love of God in the confidence that should in sue in the heart of a believer when they get that God's love for us isn't built on our merit but on his generosity alone that is a stunning truth and once again all over the landscape of evangelicalism although I'm really starting to hate that word such a junk drawer nonsense word a net now and there are all sorts of people just gotta know that's not the way it works this is the way it works and it's fun I think they're wrong they think we're wrong and it's okay but because I'm I'm just responsible for shepherding you and not shepherding evangelicalism so I'm trying to love us well and line us up with the Word of God and then last week JT English I thought did a masterful job of teaching on the inerrancy and sufficiency of God's Word our flag is in the ground we believe the Bible and we know what that means when we say that we know that the outside world is gonna look at us like weirdos like we just know it right you believe what huh how backwoods bigoted are you that you would believe those things like we just know that's coming and will endure under that as we are the people of God who submit to the Word of God as the inerrant sufficient word given to us by God for the formation of our hearts and the invitation into life while all while also acknowledging that the Word of God doesn't just create tension outside of the church walls but inside the church walls so here would be like when the Bible says that it corrects and rebukes and does all that who is that happening - what's happening to us so that even as Christians the Bible is going to put its weight on us and it will reveal to us just how much we've been discipled by the world right this is one of the things that the Bible does is it shows us hey you're actually not taking your cues from me you're taking your cues from the world that you've been discipled by right and so really this is thus distinctive that shapes all our other distinctives right which sleeves we've got two left in this series then we're gonna roll into Advent which is kind of blowing my mind right and so we've got this week which is complementarianism or where the village church lands in regards to our view of the role of women in the church and home and the next week we'll talk about the sign gifts of the holy spirit so know you'll be excited about that one the sign gifts the we gifts of the Holy Spirit we gonna talk about that next weekend and then from there we'll be rolling towards Advent and so here when you when you teach on complementarianism here's what you can expect many of you are gonna think that my last name should be cleaver by the time we're done today and others of you were like I knew you'd finally go liberal I just do as soon as I saw him wearing blue jeans I knew eventually that dude was gonna be baptizing cats and and so here you're like I'm I'm just confident enough to trust the Word of God and land where it lands but I want you to understand why we it's just a confusing day so so really when we think about where Christians tend to land on this subject there there are four major categories and so I want to show you a chart I didn't come up with this chart I got it from God Mason who's the Aussie guy that preached for us a couple of months ago dear friend and he he came up with this chart that kind of helps Christians kind of see what the different postures are in regards to this question of women and the Bible and how this plays itself out I need to warn you out of the gate but this will at the early parts of this message be much more of a lecture as I'm just seeking for you to understand all the pieces and then we'll talk about where we land as a church and what that looks like so here they are biblical Christianity feminism egalitarianism complementarianism and patriarchy now depending on your background one or more of those words could be cuss words to you right depending on your background but here's where I'm trying to just kind of inform you notice that half of patriarchy is cut out under the framework of biblical Christianity and notice that half of feminism is cut out around biblical Christianity so on the patriarchy side of things you can have massage and all sorts of wicked evil things that have occurred in churches outside of churches around the overemphasis of male domination and then on the far side of feminism you have kind of the gender fluidity and that men don't matter and everything that men do are evil and there should be nothing masculine in the world that is not evil and oppressive and should be snuffed out right so I'm saying those two things let's lop those things off and let's just get in to here and and then just my cards on the table even inside these brackets I think patriarchy has some good true things in it but it's an overemphasis that creates a kind of under development in the church and I think feminism is the same way an overemphasis on the other side of things that leads to some under development where the church cannot flourish and the beauty of God's good design can't be seen and celebrated all right so that's my cards on the table so let's dive in to these categories and and we'll just see what the Lord has for us today right the first one would be Christian feminism let me quote Katharine Bushnell here's where the great mistake is made on the woman question and here's the woman question is it prudent to allow women to do the sand so men ask themselves this at every step of a woman's progress the only question that should be asked is does justice demand this if so let justice be done though the heavens fall and anything short of justice is mere mischief-making all right I'm gonna try to as charitably as I can define Christian feminism a Christian feminist is someone who seeks to define and defend the equal rights of women in all spheres of life whether that's politically economically socially or spiritually so that's Christian feminism and I all want to say that I like that it's charitable because I have left out the violence by which they perceive masculinity I've just cut that out because they view with great skepticism fear and anger many of them because of experiences and backgrounds the role of a man and anything open to a man that wouldn't be open to a woman it's hostile that leads to oppression right now they root this in the Bible in fact Christian feminists tend to like not three verses of the Bible and then reject the rest of it alright and this is me being charitable and I know I'm gonna get some emails and let's just play right I'm just really confident and what the Word of God I said it's not like I just studied this this week right there's a full paper on this and our website behind that is a 60 page exegetical paper that's just on the texts that are around this issue this isn't laziness coming out this is hard long work from our elder board that's being rolled out here today right and and so in this they're gonna make the argument theologically based on Genesis 1:27 so let's look at that together so God created man in his own image in the image of God he created him male and female he created them and God blessed them and God said to them be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth okay so here here's the text right here you've got God created man and woman in his image male and female he created them and he gives them dominion so the argument the Christian feminists make is that there's no difference between the man and woman and any role distinction is about the oppression of women and the subjugation of women under the tyranny of men that's the argument now in this space Christian feminists tend to because they view the Bible with great skepticism because they will argument 85 90 % of them will argue that the Bible was written by men for men to protect the power of men then this is the argument that Christian feminists want to make and so they view the Bible with a great deal of skepticism which is why you're gonna find most Christian feminists tend to be whoever wants to get married can get married and land on the side of the pro-choice movement right women can have abortions whenever they want to have abortions and anybody who wants to get married can get married marriage is not given to the man and the woman in sacred union but it's given and available to all right so they're gonna land far left on social issues why because they question the Bible because they're concerned about the authority of Bible and what that means right so that would be Christian feminism now let's talk about patriarchy remember what I said about these two right remember that I said parts of what they believe is just completely out of orthodoxy but then there is some kind of its truth but it's an over emphasized truth right so we're Christian feminists that would just say hey listen we both been created in the image of God we've got dignity value Earth I just hardly affirm that and say yes and amen to that but it's an over emphasizing of woman so that there is no distinction and we believe there's a distinction right a dependence but also a distinction and so we'll talk more about that when we get to where we land right so let me read this quote I'm be straight with you I'm a little anxious about reading it but I'm just gonna read it I want you to hear you look right at me this is a quote we good okay it's Martin Luther one of the fathers of the Protestant Reformation men have broad and large chests and small narrow hips and more understanding than women who have but small and narrow breasts and broad hips to the end they should remain at home sit still keep house and bear and bring up children Martin Luther ladies and gentlemen Martin Luther not Matt Chandler Martin Luther one of the fathers of the Protestant Reformation now you could say the terrible statements like that and that is a terrible statement terrible statements like that are what really led to organizations like vision Forum outline 26 principles making up the tenets of Christian patriarchy now this includes a declaration that God is masculine so patriarchy let's believe eight people Anna's came through God is masculine here's the deal he is right he is he and Jesus was a man but he wasn't gender fluid he was a man he didn't even eat one Jesse didn't come as a woman he is a man man man man Jesus of Nazareth the man patriarch would argue that the family is the foundation of society and they're right it is where the family goes the culture goes the country goes this has been true throughout human history it's true right now in fact I think you can track most of the issues we're having in our country back to a disintegration of the family unit that's another sermon for another day right they're gonna argue this is modeled in the patriarchs of the Old Testament but is also upheld in the New Testament first Corinthians 11:3 but I want you to understand that the head of every man is Jesus Christ and the head of a wife is her husband and the head of Christ is God so this is said to mean that all women must be under the authority of a man at all times so ladies you would start under the authority of your father and then once you got married you would be under the authority of your husband and then God forbid if your husband were to die you would be under the authority of your son your brother or some male pastor that that's how they would interpret this verse in light of the Old Testament in addition to male authority Christian patriarchy teaches that men and women have different roles in the world now complement Aryans believe this also Ryba we'll talk about that because there like I said it's an overemphasis Phil Lancaster said this the God ordained and proper sphere of Dominion for a wife is the household and that which is connected with the home while unmarried women may have flexibility it is not the fitting role of women to work alongside men as their functional equals in public spheres of Dominion now do you see they're both doing the same thing like what's happening in Christian feminism is over emphasis on women at the neglect of men mannered to be questioned they're not to be trusted they'll use their power to oppress and destroy and then those on the patriarchy so I've got right no I'm looking at this you're looking at it on the patriarchy side of things you've got women can't be trusted women can women just need to stay at home and take care of the babies and I'm not in any way slandering stay-at-home moms what a beautiful calling you've been given but that's not the only calling you've been given all right now with that said let's move into well let's talk about this how how does patriarchy view women in the church well women are not permitted to be ordained voting rights are often deferred to the husband women can't leave Bible studies and they're not allowed to lead worship or speak publicly during the southern ghat Sunday gathering in other words they're better seen than heard they're better seen than heard all right now so that's going to take us off the edges and into the middle here all right egle eteri anism now egalitarians argue that a fully authoritative Bible all right supports the freedom of women under christ without males her vision to follow their god-given callings and special gifts of the spirit including the leadership ministries of Elder and lead teacher so if you're like well that sounds a little bit like Christian feminism there are massive differences between Christian feminist and egalitarians here's the major one egalitarians want to argue from the Bible whereas Christian feminists would be skeptical of the Bible in fact would argue culturally and not biblically they would argue from pain not from truth egalitarians want to take us to the book and here's what's great about anyone wanting to take us to the book we're people of the book let's get to the book right we're people of the book yes and amen let's get in to that word but that's not the only difference they also are not suspicious of male leadership as long as there are no rooms that are off-limits to women so they would rejoice in male eldership as long as there could be female eldership they would rejoice in male Sunday morning preaching as long as there could be female sunny morning preaching right they would argue from the Bible and they would not be suspicious of men and leadership as long as they are held in check by women right and then most egalitarians reject the pro-choice movement and uphold the biblical definition of marriage as being between one man and one woman here's their theological case right but they're gonna argue that the point of Genesis 1 and 2 is oneness right they're gonna read those same verses in fact across the spectrum everybody's living in Genesis 1 2 & 3 right so they're gonna look at Genesis wanted to those same verses we just read and God made them in his image male and female he created them and gave them dominion and they're gonna say no no the whole point of the creative order is that the man and woman were created as one and then they're gonna fly through to Galatians 3 in the New Testament they're gonna point out the teaching of Paul to the church at Galatia where he says there's no longer male or female for you are all one in Christ Jesus they're gonna argue that what we see in Genesis 3:16 let's go check that out together this concept of male headship or the authority of man that that as a result of sin entering the world and was in no part of God's original design for humankind so let's look at this is the pronouncement of judgment on the man and woman for rebellion against him Genesis 3 starting in verse 16 to the woman he said I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing in pain you shall bring forth children your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you right do you hear what's happening in the back part of that text so egalitarians gonna go okay listen there was no male headship until sin entered the world and when sin entered the world then you've got male headship so when Jesus Christ came and got victory over sin and death the need for male headship is gone so there is no distinction in role between the man and the woman maybe there is biologically but they are certainly not in regards to their roles they are the same they argue oneness they argue headship is a part of the fault and they rightly argue with biblical testimony so in the Old Testament aster was instrumental in protecting God's people Deborah served as a judge the highest office of that day sans prophet and priest and so oftentimes like I think those in on more of a kind of patriarchal kind of view of things will go yeah but Deborah's they in a leader in a season in which man it was the worst time in Israel's history so surely we're not gonna look at that is normative listen not now I think that argument backfires like if God's going this is a train wreck let me put a woman uh-uh-uh-uh-uh table that that's saying something else right it's just so dumb that's so blind did they're gonna make an argument that actually erodes their position not strengthened it's it's not an argument that needs to be made Deborah was a judge she's actually pretty good at it you've got prophets such as Miriam and hold up and then in the New Testament we see women active in the life of the church in 1st Corinthians 11 women serve in prayer and prophesying in the public gathering in Philippians 4 we have women evangelists acts 12 women leading house churches in Romans 16 we read of Priscilla who was singled out by Paul as his fellow workers in Christ Jesus and Romans 16 7 you have junior who according to egalitarians was a woman apostle there is some debate around that but egalitarian is gonna this is a female apostle right so all of that they argue from the Bible they argue from the Bible in fact this is one of my favorite quotes by NT Wright and NT Wright's gonna draw this up he says the first person to take the message of Jesus to others is Mary Magdalene now that is so counterintuitive in the ancient world here is the first person to tell someone else that jesus is alive and it's a woman and not just any woman it's Mary Magdalene this is God choosing what is weak to shame the strong and it seems to me that in the resurrection there is a radical revaluation for the role of women now egalitarians also are not afraid of difficult texts so the texts that seem to run contrary to what they're trying to teach those texts that are clearly prohibitive and and clearly teach male headship and clearly teach they they they can have a conversation with you about this let me give you two examples for times sake if you take like first Corinthians 11 which we read earlier which speaks of husband's being the head of their wives and in egalitarians gonna make a technical argument they're gonna say well that word head there doesn't mean that he's over her but rather that she was taken out from him so if you remember in the creation narrative you've got Adam was was created by God and then there was a rib pulled from him fashioned into a woman so that Eve came out of Adam so they're gonna say hey head here doesn't mean any type of Authority or covering but rather that she was taken out of him really their favorite argument around any prohibitive text or any text that creates structure around a female's role in the home or the church it is to blame it on cultural norms in the first century and blame it on issues that are back there that have no bearing today so let me give you that the most common example I've come across around this so when we look in the book of Ephesians and we see that Paul is asking the wife to submit to her husband the argument is that there's something going on in Ephesus culturally namely the Temple of Artemis and Artemis worship and those kind of things that have affected the way they see and understand the world and so what Paul is teaching it belongs to them and doesn't bear weight on us they're gonna do that with the timothy passage because that's also Timothy's also in Ephesus they're gonna say these texts aren't Paul saying what he's saying he's saying something different he's addressing a cultural norm and not something bound up in creation or God's design right and this is how egalitarians will argue from difficult text now let me stop there I have dear godly friends that land here I read their books I listen to their sermons their godly ferocious men and women and I think they're wrong and we're great friends and we'll sit across a cup of coffee and we'll have conversations around this coffee or some other beverage given to the people by God through the grace of Jesus Christ and we will just have a conversation about okay what do you do with this thin and how do you make sense of this and then how does this work itself out and so then tell me then how you tease this text apart or what do you do with this or help me understand this I want to understand this brother I want to understand this sister in fact Lauren and I'll be flying with some friends up to New York in a few weeks and and because I'm a good complementarian I asked Lauren if it'd be okay for me to connect with a buddy of mine up there and as soon as she gave me permission I called him and said hey would you like to get together and he heat man I love him just such a gifted powerful preacher such a smart smart man and he lands here and he's wrong and so we we can see much good and much beauty and what the egalitarians trying to do but we feel like it falls short of the full scope and scale of the Word of God which is why we're complement Ariens so let me show you this because we got to talk about complementarianism because we've got our own issues right so we put up a new slot so here's complementarianism and what we're saying in compliment areum's is we are distinct from but dependent upon one another right distinct and dependent what we're trying to do is where we're trying to move to this place where neither is overemphasized and both mutually respect and understand right and so here's how complementaries will play out in its practicalities not its belief shouldn't mind a lot of people that say we're we're complement Aryans but act far more like those in the patriarchy camp or they're gonna say they're complementarian but actually work far more like egalitarians right so here's here's kind of what we came up with there are careful complimentary names right there they're nervous about this issue thanks for like oh my gosh you know I know I know that's just a gray area so let's just err on being conservative but yeah I can kind of see that in the text I kind of see your point but men if we do that this slippery slope it won't be long we'll be baptizing cats and then what are we gonna do once the church becomes that right they're just nervous we don't want to be careful complementaries we want to be convinced we're gonna be convinced we want to operate in the spaces that God has created as we celebrate being distinct and dependent from one another right I just want to celebrate this and rejoice in this God's good gift to us and so let's talk about where the village church lands and then we'll talk about what you can expect this is Sam storms just a friend of mine and and just I'm one of the smarter men I've ever been around men and women are together created in the divine image and are therefore equal before God as persons possessing the same moral dignity and value and have equal access to God through faith in Christ men and women are together the recipients of spiritual gifts designed to empower them for ministry in the local church and beyond therefore women are to be encouraged equipped empowered to utilize their gifting in ministry and service to the body of Christ and through teaching in ways that are consistent with the Word of God this principle of male headship should not be confused with nor give any hint of domineering control rather it is to be loving 10 and nurturing care of a godly man who is himself under the kind of gentle authority of Jesus Christ the elders and pastors of each local church have been granted authority under the headship of Jesus Christ to provide oversight and to teach preach the Word of God in corporate assembly for the building up of the body the office of Elder and pastor is restricted to men and let me make the theological case here ok we would agree with the egalitarians quickly that God has created us in His image male and female he Chris we would agree with the egalitarians because they agree with the Bible that we have been given dominion over the creative order and then very quickly we start to disagree on some things and I want to walk you through that now first of all let me establish this because I think it's so helpful for us to see this in light of what it is at creation you have the man made in the image of God you've got this kind of idyllic like old-school Marlboro commercial all right the world is wild the man is there he may or may not be on the back of a horse with a Winchester rifle looking out at rugged plains maybe a dip in probably not sin heading into the world want to get his face all eaten up with cancer he's looking out at it and so God looks at this most masculine of men and says yeah this ain't good he says it's not good for the man to be alone and then he says and this the so causes bristling and I'll never understand why it causes bristling and something like cuz you're a man but no let me explain he says it's not good for man to be alone I will make a helper suitable for him and then what did God do for the man it's not that he didn't give him a golden retriever when a labradoodle it wasn't it wasn't some kind of new machine that was gonna help him fulfill the plans God has for him it was a woman a help made and don't bristle unto that word because if you start to think about that is the same Hebrew word used for God helping his people alright so here I want to try to shift maybe how you're thinking about being a help made to a man the deficiency in that moment is not the woman but the man brothers this should humble us I sound like God's looking like oh this guy's got it he's like oh no no this isn't gonna work I know I'm gonna help him so that our wives our sisters that the ladies given to us in life are there so that we might fulfill the call of God on our lives and without them God's willing this ain't good so don't bristle under helmet isn't about getting a sandwich this is about helping God and I'm saying that for you Minda here and for you women to be encouraged God hasn't given me a mate he's given me a helpmate right someone's gonna help me fulfill God's call on my life for God's big plan for Matt chandler's life he knew I needed Lauren Chandler and I needed her gifts her abilities her grace her zeal her passion for Jesus to come up and bolster me up encourage me speak truth to me and chisel off my rough edges and if you're a guest and you're like well she has done a poor job you should have heard me ten years ago hey you don't know what you're talking about all right this is much more nuanced Matt Chandler so so we're gonna look and say and let me give you this quote again I love this stuff and maybe I shouldn't cuz I know I know what my inbox will look like this week but but here's Peter Kreeft I love this women really are superior to men at being women LaBella and men really are superior to women being men and here's why we think complementarianism is the space in which we all flourish the point in complementarianism is that men and women are distinct from one another but dependent upon one another you with me distinct but dependent you ever want to kind of just succinctly explain where the church lands we are distinct but dependent we are different but in need of one another you with me gosh that's such good news so so we've got this helper now that's been given to us but then also here's what we're again we're we're separating from the egalitarians and what they believe is although we respect that they love the Word of God and we trust that they they are serious about the Bible and serious about making Jesus know and famous and they convictional II believe that this is true we're gonna immediately start to argue yet again that that even before sin was entered into the cosmos that male headship existed let me give you the reasons why we're gonna lay on there as compliment Aryans in the story of sin entering the cosmos here's I've got a Titan the Sermon up otherwise we're gonna be here to the Cowboys kick off we can't have that and so you've got Eve in the garden walking around with Adam and the serpent against a Whisperer tour begins to light or Adam says I don't know what he's doing you know he didn't more I just pass it more I he's just kind of oh and he's being lied to and then Eve buys the law she believes the lie and she rebels against God and then hands it to her husband who joins in the rebellion and when God shows up in the garden who does he ask for Adam and here's this question Adam what is this thing that you have done not Eve are you serious it's Adam what have you done so there is accountability on Adam for the spiritual climate of its home before sin is on the radar god holds Adam account of brothers look at me God has put the weight of the spiritual climate of your home on you the flourishing of your wife the flourishing of your children in God's good design is about you being the kind of man that God has called you to be and this is why it's a scary thing to be a husband and father because the collateral damage of our rebellion is our wives and children and you shouldn't take that weight lightly should never take that weight lightly uh honestly for me it can be crushing if I'm not careful so you see this accountability and then even when we go to the judgment in Genesis 3 and again we're gonna differ from egos because we think that it that even in the pronouncement of the judgment we're gonna see where they're gonna say what you see in Genesis 3:16 is God real or during his design because of sin so now you've got male headship because sin has entered the world we're gonna say no no it looks like male headship is there and not only that we don't believe you see a reordering of creation in the relational roles in Genesis 3:16 really the whole pronouncement but the difficulty injected into the creative order as God designed it so in Genesis 3 here's what you begin to see God says to the man the ground will be hard for you brothers quick question have you ever set your face to do the things that pleased the Lord and would serve the Lord and would be to be the kind of man that God has called you to and found that to be difficult to anybody just say man that found that to really be it's like the whole universe is conspiring against me okay look at me it is it's sin and death and it is and then for the the woman he says there's gonna be difficulty between you and your children namely at their birth now if you've got to learn breathing techniques and soak in water and or have someone stick a needle into your spinal cord to block feeling from your pelvis down I'm guessing the kind of pain involved here is something that by the grace of God I don't get to participate in it right and and so then you see then you see also that there's gonna be this misfire between the man and the woman right and that's what we read earlier about this kind of that your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you he's just saying that in that moment because of sin we're gonna miss you too a gosh we've experienced all of this married couples you don't have to agree with me because I know it's true you've been trying to explain yourself to your spouse and and you just think hey this is as clear as I can possibly be and and they think you're saying something completely other and actually offended by what you're saying so then they come back you know I don't even say that and then you're and then you it just keeps elevating right this is Genesis 3 it's it again I don't you don't need to nod at me don't look at your don't look at me you will prove that I am right if you look over at your spouse right now all right if you like you'll just go pastor was right today all right now I want to show you that the Genesis 3 doesn't reorder so look at this if you look back at Genesis 3:16 the the second half of that your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you now to make sense of that text I think we have to go to Genesis chapter 4 so in Genesis chapter 4 you find the exact - same Hebrew words there for desire and rule in that he God is telling Cain that sin is out to destroy him and he must rule over and so here's the text in Genesis for sin is crouching at your door it desires to have you but you must rule over it so in other words desire and rule are set as two competing forces send desires to control Cain and he's being instructed by God to rule and have control over that sin so so how does that help us interpret Genesis 3:16 you're asking all the right questions at the right time it explains that when sin has the upper hand in Eve's life when she's far from the Lord when she's not in step with the spirit when she's not submitting her life to the Lord it becomes easy to not lovingly trust her husband but desire to control and usurp his authority in the same way when sin has the upper hand in Adams life when a husband is far from the Lord when he's not in step with the spirit it becomes easier for him to not lovingly lead his wife but seek to overpower and dominate her now again here's where egalitarians and complement Ariens are going to separate we believe that what Christ has accomplished is not God reread of male headship but interjected into Christian marriage a reaffirming of the beauty of God's design this is what the Apostle Paul is talking about in Ephesians chapter 5 when he tells Christian husbands to love their wives like Christ loved the church and tells wives to respect and submit to their husbands like the church does Christ what's happening is that God is reminding us of beauty of the picture of God's good design for his sons and his daughters so that rather than Christ coming and saying Chandler you have no authority in your home there's oneness and nobody takes the lead right except what you mutually agree on he said no no Chandler you die to yourself you lead and love your family and you create and cultivate an environment where your wife excels in her giftings and your children excel on what they've been called to and you die to yourself to help that happen and Lauren as he does this you love him encourage him and respect him and by that you will reveal to the word my world my design and my good pleasure this is what's happening in the home and complementarianism that what I'm gonna be held accountable to by God all 90 is the environment that I've cultivated in my home which by the way will for all of us brothers require sacrifice that's who I've got a little bit time so Lauren will sing next weekend she's just a gifted songwriter we sing several of her songs it's just a gifted writer teacher so next week well I'll have to shift my whole week this week right because what happens is she's gonna need to get up here at 1 o'clock 2 o'clock in the afternoon and and do the deal with the band so they can be ready to play at the the 5 o'clock which means that my normal routine is going I'll have to be super ready to preach the things I'm gonna have to get here late cuz I got three children and so I'm gonna watch the kids she's gonna come up here and I'm gonna have to just completely rework how my week normally works so my preference that my week works that way this that my wife has a distinct gift that she's giving to the church and she surrenders to Jesus Christ and God's call on my life is to get over my ideal we can help it happen this is the call of God on my life that's good well you know one of us has really been called by it's it's just evident the God has gifted me in a unique way and so I love that you do these things but here's the thing like you're singing background vocals and what I'm doing is right I mean how's that gonna go in fact we will not podcast this service just for fear that she might listen to that that's not my play my play is what okay let me reorder the week let me start to figure out how we can make this happen she is headed to Berlin with my oldest daughter in December to do some work among refugees in Germany so what's my role not to go well it's dangerous over there well I appreciate that God's called you to such things but uh I can't be watching babies no my role is okay let's figure this out let's bless you let's pay for those tickets and and let me figure out let me build the plan all right and and and she would joke but that's that's what I'll do I'll literally have a little schedule and we'll walk through the kids and we'll just get into the schedule right because if not I can't handle that chaos man I'll freak out and so that this is this is what it looks like at home now let's talk about then what this looks like in church I love Tim Keller on this and Tim B if you don't know Tim Keller is just think Yoda here's what he says on the one hand women are clearly partners with men in ministry women were ministry leaders they were active in evangelism discipleship education mercy ministry leading in the house churches as well as praying and prophesying in public worship it appears from this that there are no ministry gifts nor ministries that are forbidden to women and yet Paul draws some limits gosh Tim so what are those limits let's chat I've got to speed up it egalitarians are right to look to the Old Testament and highlight the ferocious women of God in the Old Testament and how they were used but one of the things I've never really heard anybody unpack as the fact that in all of that judges and queens and prophetesses and all that there's never a woman priest never a woman in little bit achill order so this is a space that according to gods design there were no women that operated in it and then as we see Jesus select his disciples he selects 12 men now maybe it's because Jesus was nervous about upsetting the social norms probably not probably I mean I'm just gonna guess probably not Oh or maybe it was because Jesus thought women were inferior well that's certainly not the case they're all over his ministry in fact who was the one that discovered he had resurrected who did he appear to first upon his resurrection right so what's going on could it be that in Jesus's selection of the 12 disciples and in there being no female priests they were harkening back to the creative order for the flourishing of women and men in God's creative design I think so we think so we're gonna operate like this is true right now with that said then on top of that you have all these other texts that are just clearly prohibitive in regards to how were to function in our distinct yet dependent States first Timothy 2:11 through 14 let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man rather she is to remain quiet for Adam was formed first then Eve I'll just stop there so let me let me kind of unpack this way because I think this is one of those texts that everybody kind of bristles at but I want to point out the very first command in the text let a woman what learn and if you if you knew what temple was like Tabernacle was like women weren't allowed in those inner circles they weren't allowed to learn about doctrine in the Word of God and once Paul's command no no you let him learn you let him learn and then what's his argument around that office of Elder and lead teacher being two men is it a cultural arguments like the egalitarians make it's not he's pointing back to creation he didn't say you know learning all submissiveness and I know over at the Temple of Artemis they don't do it that way but here at our this is why we're gonna do it as Christians he does that in other places heck Jesus even engages at different times these cultural moments that's not what Paul ties this to he ties it to creation there is a design at hand for the flourishing of men and the flourishing of women and the foundational home being this central place of this so in the church women learn men because of God's design your elders who are meant to die to yourself to lead the people of God this is why one of the cat it's one of the commands for an elders that he love his household well because a man is not willing to sacrifice and die for his wife and children will rarely if ever do it for a body that he doesn't know this is why when we're interviewing elder candidates we spend a lot of time with the wife that wife has concerns or objections that's a deal-killer meeting one he had better love serve she had better look like a well-watered vine bearing fruit that's what the Bible says happens when a man loves his wife like Christ loved the church now what can you expect here we'll only read this is if I could just summarize it here's complementarianism women and men are equal in dignity value and worth women have been gifted by God and called by him to play a significant role and the Ministry of the church by the way if I'm too fast we got a massive paper on our resource page where you can read about all of this behind that is a 60 page exegetical paper and so feel free to kind of dive into this I know I've had to move quickly now what can you expect at the village church okay let me walk through this quickly when it comes to how we'll see women at the village church how we see women we're looking at siblings not subordinates Jeremy the the most consistent way we are described as men and women in the Bible in relationship to one another's not husband and wife but brother and sister so we are to love one another with a brotherly sisterly affection so we will be seeing one another as siblings not subordinates and so ladies you will not be seen as subordinates nor playing a junior varsity role here at the village you can expect to see women participate across the scope of the village church you will see in our weekend gatherings women reading Scripture women praying women singing you will see across our leadership structure women with voice and vote and about we've got women on our executive staff we have women ministers around here and you will not see women step into spaces that the Bible prohibits Jen and it's one of the more gifted bible teachers I've ever been around in my life I mean that woman could teach the Word of God and we want to champion that and create space for that and celebrate that and she'll never preach on the stage on a weekend gathering she's never going to be an elder she's on an exec team she she has the largest women's Bible study in the universe I think it's what I read and uh and yet she did the Bible would say and she she was in the last service giving me an amen in this right this is a spot she does not want my job right she's not gonna do it but you're gonna see women all over organization leading and loving in the ways that God has asked them to lead in love so so let me encourage a couple of things single women let me chat with you for a second if you're a single woman in here here's my encouragement to you I want you to feel freed up to grow in a knowledge of the Word of God grow in doctrine grow in leadership without having to wait for a man in fact I would just encourage you that a sure way to spray on boy repellent are you tracking with me like if you don't want some immature fool to kind of pursue you flirt with you mess around with you has just become ferociously godly and brilliant around theology and doctrine and the Word of God like boys are turned off by that men see it and go praise then I'm an asking for that Lord and it'll speak in a tongue right yeah that's uh that's next week's sermon so anyway that they'll see that and they'll be like yes Lord he has heard my prayers they will join Adam and say whoa I mean woman thank you all right so listen don't wait lead the Spirit of God is inside of you been given gifts lead single brothers as you grow in your own understanding and knowledge of the Word of God of doctrine and of truth look at me encourage your sisters speak life into them celebrate their giftedness create space for them to lead and step into space is that God's designed them to lead and stuff into put to death your insecurities married men you have been given a command by God to create an environment in which your wife's gifts and abilities are unleashed on the world and on the church with your blessing support and celebration and if you in your own brokenness because of your own father wounds or because of your own weight are anxious about what that means and you have knowingly or even unknowingly suppressed and belittled and subjugated and made them feel as though they have no gifts and no I that you are doing is an abuse of your headship on the daughter of the king sovereign of the universe and you are a fool if you don't think Hebrews 12 kind of judgment isn't coming for you you will not berate and belittle the daughters of the king without being according to Hebrews 12 scourge as sons and I'm just speaking to you like you were a Christian if you're not a Christian it'll be worse than scourging from God because I know when we start to talk about this there's a type of man which I'm being way too liberal with that term there's a type of male who would use the kinds of verses we see in the scriptures to keep his spouse afraid and disoriented feeling like she's the crazy one while she's being a mentally and spiritually abused ladies you need to hear me say this we are far more concerned about your safety and you get into a space where you feel safe and secure then we are about your husband's misapplication of text that he doesn't understand you are not a slave and you are not a servant it's not what you are your daughter the king filled with the Holy Spirit gifts by God this is what complementarianism is this is how we want to live you're gonna see us celebrate our sister's it should be a really beautiful picture to the world around us of the goodness and grace of God in his design especially in such confusing weird times so there we are some of you think I'm my last name's cleaver and you can't believe you ever came here and others have you knew is only a matter of time till I went full-on liberal and and yet what I'm gonna argue is I'm just really really convinced that this is the Word of God let's pray father thank you for these men and women thank you that you've made us distinct from one another we're not the same we're not the same biologically we're not the same in regards to makeup or not the same even in regards to calling and yet we are dependent upon one another so I think you that we need one another let's pray we not blow past that pray all the more that we might celebrate our sisters and they might celebrate us as brothers and we might be seen as a place where men and women flourish together is they have mutual respect and as they encourage one another in their giftings and I do pray for our husbands in here I pray for our wives in here I pray for our single men or single women bless us in this area what an opportunity we have to be a picture for the world of your goodness and grace pray for my brothers in here who are broken men tend to be angry unsettled insecure pray they might feel the weight of all of that and finally maybe finally seek some help pray for my sisters who feel overwhelmed and oppressed and worthless and should be merciful to them let them feel encouraged today be reminded of how much you loved them and gifted them and care for them you were kind and gracious we love you it's for your beautiful name amen

Channel: The Village Church Resources

Views: 109,214

Rating: 4.7767563 out of 5

Keywords: Matt Chandler, The Village Church, The Complementary Roles of Men and Women, Marked

Id: PvVqoNX_p0M

Length: 55min 25sec (3325 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 06 2017