The Long Game

I pastor Matt listen thank you for downloading or streaming this sermon pray that it blesses your heart two quick things that I want to lay before you before we get started in the proclamation of God's Word the first is and I love that you're dialing in to hear what the Lord's put on our heart here at TVC but I ask that you would only consume these messages as supplemental and in no way replacing your commitment and your listening to your local church pastor these are good gifts of God's grace for the people of God to grow in and yet they are not to replace ever meant to replace our belonging to a covenant community of faith where we are the the second thing want to lay before you is is that there are a lot of man-hours that men and women here at the village church put behind not just the creation of this but the creation of all kinds of resources that are meant to help you grow and develop as a disciple of Jesus Christ and so if this blesses you or the other resources that have been created have blessed you would you consider giving back to the village church to support not just these things with the creation of even more resources for you and really for anyone who wants to indulge in them now I pray that God stirs your affections for Jesus Christ as you listen now to the proclamation of God's Word well good morning how are we doing well excellent if you have you really know how to make a guy feel welcomed I appreciate that if you have your Bibles go ahead and grab those we're going to be in Song of Solomon chapter 7 going to finish up our series on marriage that we call captivated and so we're going to wrap that up in our time together today I got a couple of things I want to do before we dive into Song of Solomon chapter 7 the first is to say that although our church is primarily made up of young married couples there are several thousand singles that sit among us every weekend and they're all over the map and they're single and some of them are vowed singles like they plan on being singles for the rest of their lives they plan on using their lives to kind of make disciples and be a part of the kingdom of God and see that being single creates some space for them to really give themselves over to that and then we've got quite a few there like that that ain't my gift I don't want that gift I've got tried to give me that gift I try to return that gift I'm just waiting for my person and if you could preach on that that would help me and then we've got widowers we've got divorcees we need simple but there's several thousand people who are sitting in this three-week series on marriage kind of going okay what does this have to do with me and and so I want to just say here on the last week I read something this week that I just thought that's really good I'm going to steal that in a book by a man by the name of Peter scars arrow I think is how you pronounce his last name and what he said is that as we'd been talking that marriage is a picture of Christ's Redemption of the Church of his bride so that merits is a picture of God's pursuit of the church and ransom of his people that we are called as the church the Bride of Christ I know some of you brothers don't like that language but your wives and daughters have to deal with being called sons of God throughout the scriptures so like I say there's enough in the book to offend all of us right and so we are the Bride of Christ and so one of the things that score zero said in his book was that marriage is a picture of the depth of God's love and what he meant by that is like if I if I think about being married I've got my person and now that I have my person that limits the threats of my love because the depth of my love is one-on-one so Lauren is my person I don't have other people I got Lauren and my heart my mind my creativity my energy my vitality goes to this woman and in so doing we communicate to the world and to one another the depth of God's love where singleness paints another picture because we know from the Word of God that the love of God is not just deep but what what right so so singleness portrays and shows the picture of the breath of God's love because if you're single then you don't have a person you have a community and so as you love that community walk in that community made of a friend and family and coworkers as you love like that what you're communicating then is the breath of God's love and the church and the world need both pictures and so if you've been listening to this series and you're a single and you're going okay if marriage is a picture of Christ redeeming for God the church buying his bride then what is my singleness where I think that I think Peter is on to something right that you are communicating the breath of God's love to the world right now second thing I want to do is I want us to honor and celebrate a group here and I want to kind of tell you what they did and why we're going to do that the village church being the size that we are we have a communications department right most churches don't have comm departments we actually have a comm Department and so if you think about exodus the the workbook you got the videos that we showed the that's all our creative team kind of creating these things because we're after the whole person right not just the mind but but the mind and the senses and the heart we want the whole person and glad surrender to Christ and art tends to do that grab hold of places that aren't just you know our intellectual capacity but kind of stir up our and this about a week and a half ago the D SVC Awards were held here in Dallas they featured a large number of successful creative advertising agencies big and small throughout the Metroplex so think of organizations like American Airlines and and you know give different large organizations and their creative teams here in the Metroplex and and so the only church represented at the D SVC was the village and one of the things I love about them is if they don't give out participation trophies right so I see you giggling so I appreciate the year with me on participate hey you didn't win a game this year but you know what let's celebrate that you you're hang this in your wall it's just a remembrance of your defeat right and and so what what I mean by that it by participation trophies is on their gold awards they will not give out a gold award if there's no a gold award winning worthy right participant so there is like and the winner of the judges choice this year is no one thanks for coming good night so so like they're really serious about the arts of it all and the energy around those things and when Ken Rabelais became the executive director of our communication team here's the standard he said excellent art the excellent art appreciated by those at the highest level so that's what II that's the bar and that's a really high bar for a church to go we're going to create things that the world goes that's really good stuff so we were invited to this awards ceremony and here's what happened the village took on three awards one bronze for the exodus handout one gold for the entire exodus campaign which is a very collaborative effort and then lastly we took home the gold for the judges Choice Award for the entire Exodus campaign so and then I want to say this because this is I get really yeah go ahead the but here's the thing I was like I love that that team works so hard they're so behind the scenes creating things that kind of stir our affections for Jesus and kind of we rarely even think about what they're doing how they're doing it all the copy that needs to take place all the like it's a stunning amount of work that these brothers and sisters do but I think the thing I was most excited about is the judges Choice Award was given by a man who who is a very well known very well respected kind of filmmaker and and not and his assistant came up to our team just tears in her eyes saying that this this end was not a Christian was far from well not interested and yet the Exodus material was haunting him and he began to dig into his vile and try to get to the bottom of all of this and so we can praise God for that also now one of my favorite things about the comm team and why I won't have them stand is despite their unbelievable gift and said creativity and putting works of art out there to the man or woman they're nearly all introverts and so if I had them stand up right now they might resign and get jobs in the secular world and they're too good so I'm not going to do that but one more time because there's many of them in this room you thank them for great job guys I see you Jenna I'm not going to do it okay now we're going to finish out captivate it which by the way they that's their graphic right and and so here here's what we've done we talked week one just about the nature of what marriage is that it is covenant that we enter into a covenant with one another that is not primarily emotive although there are emotions involved it is a commitment of the will that I am giving myself to this person and so we talked about what marriage was and then last week we talked about the gift of sexual intimacy from God that sex is God's idea that wasn't a work of the devil that that's not just something we have done but that God biologically physiologically did that gave that as a good gift and then he put boundaries around it because sex has a way of touching the soul in a way nothing else can and and so we talked about the fact that the boundaries have fallen for us in good places the Christian doesn't think sex is dirty or you know it's like dirty disgusting gross save it for the one you love like we don't believe that we think it's a really beautiful thing that's very powerful and and so we need to keep it in the boundaries that the creator of it has given to us so we talked about that last week and then here's how I want to end our time together I want to end our time together talking about marriage by thinking about and looking at how we might continue to cultivate our marriage where we are today in our hopes of getting to be by the grace of God eighty five ninety years old still in love surrounded by grandchildren maybe even great-grandchildren and grossing out right our grandchildren by still being an affectionate to one another right I want to talk about how we can do that maybe this is the best illustration this is the one I historically have used my wife she likes fire in the fireplace it's not a joke to say that as soon as we are in the low 70s she will turn on the air and want me to start a fire so like she just loved it but we're not I don't get to be the man that has the light switch fireplace not to shame you but I don't even have the light switch fireplace it's just me being envious right like here's the IQ get homie like aw it's a little chilly now me I mean like I'm a caveman you know like I got to go find a flint rock gather some some kin links I look like Tom Hanks on that movie in the island trying to start fire and then you got to make sure it gets enough air and then you've got to tend to it you can't just leave it alone which means about every 30 minutes I got to go back out into the cold and grab more lumber and bring it in and put it in and you've got to keep adding logs to the fire where the fire goes out and so maybe the way to think about our time together today is is what are logs that we can be adding to the fire in our marriage to ensure that that thing stays toasty right gonna use that word toasty I think I just did you can't stop me I did it all right let's look Song of Solomon chapter 7 starting in verse 1 we read this text last week I want to I want to kind of draw something else out of it how beautiful are your feet and sandals Oh noble daughter your rounded thighs are like jewels the work of a master hand your navel is a rounded bowl that never lacks mixed wine your belly is a heap of wheat encircled with lilies brothers look at me don't do it it's a that is not going to translate I know I said that last week I'm trying to serve you well this I have yet to meet the woman in 2017 that even if you add that encircled by lilies is going to appreciate you saying that her belly is like a heap of wheat just trust me on this there's some other things in this poem that you can use leave that one alone your two breasts are like two fawns twins of a gazelle now here's what's happening I want to draw your attention to this in this text this is the fourth time in the Song of Solomon that he's addressing his wife and every other time he starts at the top of her head and in at her feet and now twenty-something years into merit he's starting with the bottom of her feet and working his way up now what's happened here is after 20-something years his perspective of her has changed and so the first log that you need to throw on the fire of your merit is the log of pain attention to your spouse here's if I could just like I've been with Lauren for 20 years she's been at least four different women in that 20 years and and it's not like sometimes it's like a radical change like I know like I went to bed with one woman I woke up with like another woman and my bed who had different things she liked everything she didn't want to do think she was drawn to things she didn't like it all anymore like it's just confused it discombobulated and so we believe as Christians in progressive sanctification we believe that God is changing us he is making us more like Christ he is growing us and if that's true that means I live in a house with my wife that the Spirit of God is changing her growing her moving and he's doing the same thing in me so that I am NOT the man she married she is not the woman I married we have changed a simple illustration when we first got married Lauren loved late night movies and and so that was our thing we didn't have any kids I was kind of traveling full-time as an itinerant teacher we kind of had an apartment over in Aichi because it was the closest thing I could get to the airport and then we just were I was just traveling teaching all over the place and so man our thing was hey it's 9:45 what do you wanna go to it let's go see a movie then we'd go to these late movies get home at like 1:00 and go to bed and then get up and start again and and that is not the woman I am married to right now like I can't even imagine what would have I can't let say 10 15 showing a Wonder Woman let's do it like that that will not go so I do not know my day do you not know we have one that would just go bad for me in fact I and if you work for lis D I think that there's nothing you can do about this now I'm just going to test the waters when rogue one came out in December I pulled my kids out of school I just said hey I need the Chandler kids well what's up it's like well I'm their dad and I because I didn't want to lie there we go it's a day all hepped dentist appointment so I didn't want to do that I just said hey I need my kids yeah I'm their father I'd like my kids gives me my children and then we we went out to AMC and we watched road one and at the apex of road one I mean everything's blowing up and say and read like so much my 11 are you just so give me like a tier 1 tier going down he's looking at me like you love me father and like I do like and then we all look down and Lauren has her head or mouth I see a sound asleep at 2:00 in the afternoon this is not a woman I could take to an 11 o'clock show anymore right but that's that is who I married she's changed I need to be paying attention like there are a few things I've got to calm down or you're not almost anything I think there are a few things that will fan heat and passion into your marriage like paying attention to your spouse like brother sisters you need to have a radar from your spouse's who I really like that or oh man I love that oh and they linger too long at a store looking at something they would like to get but can't necessarily afford or or when they look through that magazine and smell that perfume talk about how nice that perfume is or they're looking through you know Field & Stream or whatever your dudes into is like oh look at this the new whether it be 250 sitting to take note that's a way to kind of bless I got a little touch here I know they've been wanting that or or even something like oh my dear from scratch is about to open I love that place boom you need to buy you have a file and your gut for that now you just need to pay attention this is what they like this is what they don't care for this stresses them out this does not trust them out this alleviate stress that's cause of stress is just paying attention and you can see that because he has now seen her differently and then he goes on to compliment things in her that only he would know about at a certain depth and and so let's look there in verse 4 again brothers don't use this your neck is like an ivory tower your eyes are pools in heshbon by the gate of Bath Rabine your nose is like a tower of Lebanon that's the one I would say the farthest away from which looks towards Damascus your head crowns you like caramel and your flowing locks are like purple a king is held captive in your tresses now let me explain what what's happening in this part of the poem he is now complimenting things that he has a unique perspective on and so each of these lines is actually tied to a different kind of attribute and so your neck is like an ivory tower speaking to her dignity right she is upright his bride is dignified your eyes are pools and has mom about a bet gate of bathra beam that's about her depth she has grown in depth the the nose is like a tower of Lebanon speaks to her strength and her head crowns like Carmel and your flowing locks are like pearls speaks to the authority by which she walks now here's the unique privilege of a spouse what we know from earlier in the song is that when they met and started dating she was extremely insecure in fact at some point think don't look at me for I am swarthy right I'm not attractive don't look at me stop looking at me right and now what's happened she's dignified she's strong she has depth he's held captive by the Authority in which she walks the unique perspective that's his and his alone is to watch his spouse grow in dignity growth so like if you were to me my wife and think to yourself that's a very dignified woman or or she walks in a lot of authority that that would be yours to see and cut but I since we got married when she was 19 then what I got to watch it is watch a woman who when we first got married hardly would open her mouth and say anything right around in meetings around kind of people with personalities will say it that way she would just be quiet and and she's so brilliant but on the way home oftentimes I'd be like baby why don't you say anything tonight I want to look dumb I'm like around that guy like trust me you're gonna look more brilliant in contrast to him you need to just believe in your heart and now to see you're not what what is mine to have that you don't get is who she was at 19 who she is now that's fine like I get to see that I get to watch that I get to rejoice in that I get to marvel at that and here's what's happened your dignity your strength your authority I am held captive in your tresses like you I am still captivated by you you are stunning and unless you think there's not physical heat there look at verse 6 how beautiful and pleasant you are a loved one with all your delights your stature is like a palm tree and your breasts are like it's clusters I say I will climb the palm tree and lay hold of the fruit this is the appropriate time to remind you we're reading from the Bible so write like people think that our God's all crusty and really buttoned up and this is I like climbing a tree and grabbing some fruit like in the Bible like I'm not reading off it's from them I'm reading out of the Bible but then watch what's how it still would stay away from these brothers I say I will climb the palm tree and lay hold of its root Oh may your breasts be like clusters of the vine now here's what I think you can use and the scent of your breath like apples and your mouth like the best of one so I'd say keep away from my Mac on that tree grab hold of fruit and I would I would go more with hey your breath your mouth is like the sweetest of one what he has paid attention and he knows how to woo he knows how to romance he knows how to love he knows how to speak to her inner beauty and not just her outer beauty and as I pointed out last week look at how her dignity her strength her growth his growth has actually turned into a type of aphrodisiac in a day and age in which physicality becomes the king or queen of attraction what we see here twenty-something years in to marriage is the depth of soul becomes a fiery aphrodisiac so this is something that needs to be cultivated this is something that needs to be paid attention to you want that marriage your menu want to throw a log on be paying attention right here's the second thing I think you see here is it's her response look there at her response it goes down smoothly for a my beloved gliding over lips aunty I and my Beloved's and his desire is for me I love her response because she like here he is me he's got some game I respect this brother I mean like digging the soul and climbing the tree and you dressed like some apples and you know how I love wine and your lips taste like that one right I mean he's got some game I respect this man and then what's her response back oh I like what you're saying it goes down smoothly say some more to me I love this but she's being flirty back now here's what I think what the second log is here everyone not ever most people but tendency the drift as we get older especially if we get married young or we write is to get a little crusty to just stop being as flirty to kind of drift towards we just got things we've got to get done and kind of that playfulness and affection it's there early on ceases and I think the second log here that we see in this interaction is is that you must fight for and pursue fun and what the Bible calls and Titus brotherly affection brotherly affection you should cultivate a rich and real friendship with one another you should laugh often and you should try to create spaces in which fun is the rule but like that's literally an hour kind of four main rules of the Chandler house well one of our rules is we're gonna have fun we're gonna laugh a lot in this house and dadgummit if you're not laughing bad things are happening we're gonna have a good to have a good time right now I mean we want to just cultivate an environment where we're serious about laughter and fun and I especially want to do that with my wife and and just this is free not in the notes if it's not fun for your spouse it's probably not fun I'm just saying that because I know some of you brothers my ward baby I was trying to fight before my pastor said dumping cold water on her while she's in the shower probably isn't her idea of a good time but you just have to find places to have fun what I don't like you've got to find this because it doesn't mean that since your man's into hunting you're going hunting right and it doesn't mean because she's into whatever you know you're going to go do that's not what it means it means you need to find these spaces where you can laugh and have fun that so we we want to fight that I'm always trying to think of just small easy ways to let Lauren know I'm thinking about her so she's singing this weekend and so every time she sings I will get her phone and I will take a picture of myself and I will just reset all of her stuff with my picture on it uh and yeah and I know something right now like touch my phone see what happens but for what Lauren has not told me to stop that so I'm just going to keep doing just this little I'm thinking of you it's just this little I love you it's just this little hey I want to play you know I'm playing now when when she finally says quit doing that to my phone then I'll figure out something else but it's just a simple easy way to go I'm thinking about you I want you to know that I am thinking about you and I love it when you sing so I just wanted we got a fight front oftentimes we'll incorporate the kids in this like one of my favorites is just you just put a little bucket of water balloons out with the weakest saddest water guns you can because you and your spouse have the good ones in the backyard and you just put a big note on it say mom and dad are out back come get us and you got like hoses and like a water cannon like a you know and and then you just have a blast and what is this like listen this is godliness laughter is a really good gift from the Lord we're not to be crusty people we've been bought with the blood of Christ been reconciled to our Creator who should last like we laughs who should enjoy like we get to enjoy we're free we're free fight for fun and then look at where it goes next come my beloved let us go out into the field and lodge in the villages let us go out early to the vineyards and see whether the vines have budded where the great blossoms have opened and the pomegranates are in bloom there I will give you my love the Mandrake's give forth fragrance and beside our doors are all choice fruits new as well as old which I have laid up for you oh my beloved so I think there are three things here that I want to point out I'll start by telling you the story of Dudley Callison right after I became a Christian there was a man who did a lot of work with students and my aires name was Dudley Callison and and one night there was probably about 20 of us and Dudley was telling the story of how he got engaged and here's his story by the way if you're single I'm about to take something from you Dudley picked up his girlfriend soon-to-be fiance in his car she got in the car they drove out to this lake this all happened in Arkansas and they get out to this lake and I get in this canoe and the canoe out to this island in the middle of the lake and there I guess there's some interns or something that set up dinner and they served him dinner and then the speedboat picked him up and then they kind of went around the lake on the speedboat and when they got back to shore his car was gone and there was a limousine there and then they got in this limousine and they drove in this limousine out to the small airfield and got in this little plane and they took off in this plane and they landed back in the hills of Arkansas at some college back there and and then there's this chapel on that campus and and it had been set up for a wedding with all the candelabras and and there was just a giant card at the altar that had her name on it so she walked up open the card it just said will you she turn around boom he's on the knee and proposed it ain't even got good yet and then when they walk out there's this old beat-up rusty truck that they get in and they ride that truck to this restaurant where he had flown in all her friends and family and his friends and family had this just kind of epic celebration that they're engaged and then after everybody kind of went to their rooms and hotels and all that he began to explain to her that each mode of transportation was symbolic of part of their life's journey together that the car was symbolic of the normalcy of their life that the canoe represented those times are going to have to work hard together to get to a goal that the speedboat represented the fun they were going to have the plane was or the limo represented when some other thing would be driving the direction of their life the plane represented their spiritual journey and the beat-up truck represented growing old together are you serious Dudley like he was telling this story like and I'm like god I hope the woman I'm going to ask him like that made me give up I'm not gonna lie he told that story and I was like whatever Lauren I was like what you think what are you doing the next 5060 years right like like a you can't like - no I mean what can you do like everything else if you heard that story everything I'm like ma and did he follow that they got married on a 31st and and to this day as best I know on the 31st of every month I think there's six of those a year he just buys her a gift and puts it somewhere in the house like he doesn't tell her he like it's her new perfume and puts it in the thing or gets her blush she was looking just hangs it in her closet and so now after all these years like she gets up she's looking like god help that brother food forgets 131st right because he's looking now it's like oh where's the honey it's the 31st I asked you my dad a lot of pressure now here's why I tell you that story look at me Dudley Callison is a natural romantic that is not most men it's just not most men and all weekend long I've seeing two reactions that I've seen kwasind you know kind of like mm-hmm that's true there nope that's right you're say it again yeah most men are not naturally romantic but that's okay all right now here's here's what I think is happening one of the things you're seeing here is the the king of Israel and and the Queen they are being disciplined in romance so the other log that we need to throw on the fire is there needs to be some discipline about creating a sense of romance between us and our spouse so back to you husbands who might not naturally be romantic see God has given you something in common grace that the thousands of years of men before you did not have Google romantic creative date $1 signed search 400,000 ideas and point 0 3 seconds and maybe you're rolling right now maybe it's dollas on dollas on boom right I don't know I don't know where you are I don't know your tax bracket maybe got like $4 I don't know I don't know you man I don't know what you're hitting in there I don't think you can do a half dollar sign but you'll find some ideas in there may be a sense sign and there to see what comes up and and then all you do brothers/sisters is then planet put it on the calendar prepared and you might be saying I don't think my spouse needs that well you might be right your style might not need that but I'm guessing they're not going to hate it I'm guessing I don't know where your marriage is right now I'm guessing your spouse won't hate you being thoughtful about pursuing and cultivating romance between the two of you so we're paying attention we're fighting for fun building up affection and and then what we see here is they're going to get away they're going to break up the monotony they're going to get out of the Monday through Sunday rhythms that make us forget and keep us from seeing the person like here's what I'm constantly trying to remind myself of I love my children I've got a 14 year old daughter just has my heart my 11 year old boy he and I are more and more and more together just spending chunks of time in fact for the first time ever on Saturday morning kind of join me we worked out together first time that's ever happened I've been wanting that to happen since he was like three and he's finally there he hopped in with us and it was a blast right now I just need to make sure he doesn't pass me right I got to keep that bluffing as long as I can and then I don't know that I've ever met a happier soul than my eight-year-old daughter Nora I mean she just bubbles with life it's really hard for her to be upset about much of anything but here's the thing all three of them are going to get out of my house they're going to get older they're going to get their stuff and they're going to get out and I'll lament every one of those I will lament and feel a real sense of loss with every one of those but I cannot not cultivate a strong relationship with my wife that has me in another 8 9 years wondering who I'm married to when the house gets quiet again cuz right now it's chaos and all the parents with multiple children said Amen first week of summer anybody feel like an uber driver this summer a non-paid uber driver yeah I mean just all over the place this week right we had like multiple cans holds and it it's just beginning and in the chaos of this season we must find moments to pull away and work on reconnecting with one another that's not expensive that's not elaborate this is the king and queen their head now to some orchard somewhere this can be as simple as if you're going out with a group of friends leave an hour earlier catch a drink with mono and catch up this can be if you can trying to find a way to pull away for just a couple of days just the two of you and do more heart level work not surface or do your best to not talk about the kids learn and cultivate good questions about how can I serve you better not ask that question in the hopes that you get to dump what you wish they could do better by that that's manipulation that's not love find spaces to connect physically find spaces to connect emotionally and spiritually to ask what God is doing you're already paying attention find those spaces to withdraw and connect at a deeper level and then lastly I think you see here they guard against laziness one of the things you saw earlier in the book again if we had time to walk through the whole book which we certainly don't if if we could have covered earlier is one of the ways that she praised Solomon on their wedding day was that he had not been passive but that he had pursued and that he had tried to cultivate and that he had he had been really active in kind of building this relationship on a really firm foundation and what you see here is yet again the two of them guarding against laziness guarding against putting it on cruise control but rather trying to continue to mine and get all that they can out of this good gift of God's grace in the spouse and so it becomes easy after an extended period of time to just go I got my person it's cool and and yet I think there are riches for you experiences for you joy for you and not getting lazy but continuing to cultivate that relationship in in all areas and so we must guard against laziness we can't afford to put our marriages on cruise control so maybe that's finding a marriage retreat to go to every year maybe that's a date night everybody's you just must fight against being lazy and in the way that plays itself out probably in 2017 as you both get in bed with your cell phones just like I could feel how awkward the room got so sorry you know sue I mean here's the picture let's talk about love of your life start it out hot that's why you got married like no is that yeah you'll do will you marry me like no I've never met the person that's their story right got to marry someone kind of like you eighty percent of the time we should do this right you go and there's some heat there like men you like I like this person gosh I like them a lot let's get married right there's some heat there and then over a pair of Tom ends up with you two in the same bed together both of you looking at your phone there's a like a living person next to you who you can connect with in all sorts of awesome and intimate ways another which is talking about sex just conversation what are you doing scrolling whatever you're scrolling looking at old restored World War two photos as you went into the rabbit hole and you have no idea how long you've been in there you're like stalking some do from high school that you used to play baseball with and your wife is next to you looking at Joanne gain speed he just you you choose who you you you should probably not take your phones into the bedroom now here's the thing that's not the Bible I don't have a verse nor am I trying to lord anything on you other than just to encourage you to think about how to build of intimacy between you and your spouse it's hard to compete with the phone and if the phones they are see you know it so we'll just take it out of the equation and then it's gonna be awkward you know for a little bit hey how was your day good okay you know you'll have to push through that you'll have to fight through it don't be lazy here there's greater joy to be experienced greater intimacy to be walked in to be more fully known than you currently are but that don't don't believe the romantic comedies you you are that didn't come without some work and without some discipline don't be lazy now here's here's how I want to end in the Keller quote here's what he said according to the Bible God devised marriage to reflect the saving love for us in Christ so if you remember what we said early on quoting from Peters Corsaro is that marriage shows the depth of God's love you're my person I am pursuing you I'm all-in on you you are going to be what's in my mind what's in my heart you will be the pursuit of my life is you flourishing as a person that that's that's the picture of marriage the depth of God's love as revealed to us in the coming of Jesus Christ in his life death and resurrection which means everything related to marriage is a shadow of something greater everything related to marriage is a shadow of something greater than itself and so we're talking about this when we're talking about kind of keeping the fire of love going keeping intimacy going keeping kind of a fervor and zeal for one another going that that's the shadow but the form is found in this quote and found in Ephesians 5 but every time you see a man move towards a woman every time you see a woman move towards a man every time you see marital romance you're seeing a picture of God's love for his church God's love for his people I think the way this is seen in one of the ways it's harder for us to digest but maybe it is a way that we could get it in in the Old Testament oftentimes when the people of Israel didn't have ears to hear like it didn't matter if a prophet came and said here's what God says here's what God says they just couldn't hear God oftentimes would have the prophets do what's called prophetic acts because the people wouldn't listen they would then act out something that the people could see there was discombobulating for them and so one of the greater ones of the amoment one that was well known of these is found in the book of Hosea and so God comes to Hosea and says my people are adulterous they have left me for other gods they cannot hear therefore I want you to marry Gomer any flooded Hosea's heart for Gomer with the love that he had for the people of Israel so so Hosea's heart is flooded with this unwavering love for Gomer now the issue the prophetic act as the Gomer was a prostitute and so Hosea buys her out of prostitution brings her into his home established his safety provision care a space where she is not viewed as a commodity to be consumed but as a soul to be cherished and she flees it and runs back to prostitution Hosea's heart breaks and he goes and he buys her back brings her back into that safety back into that provision back into that care back into being valued as a person and not a commodity to be consumed and she runs again Hosea then heartbroken grief-stricken tear-stained face goes and buys her back and brings her back in to safety and God's message to an adulteress people is that they were his bride and he was their husband and he would continue to seek them and rescue them and save them even in the midst of disgusting and despicable adultery and this is the God of the Bible that reveals through marriage that paints on the canvas of creation via marriage the depth of his love for his ride the church so listen I want your marriages to flourish right it's a picture of the depth of gods I want the world to see you in love with your spouse keeping logs on that fire letting that fire burn hotter and hotter and hotter but more than I want that for you I want you to get a sense of God's unswerving unwavering devotion to you who are children of God and if you're not a Christian this is the commitment of our God like what other God in the human imagination moves towards people like this does not is not the message that gods are angry and ready to destroy yet the God we see in the Bible uses this as the illustration to get us understand the depth of his love remember you grew up in church in like well so there's no punishment for sending a no no no grace does not make sense aif grace does not make sense safe it makes centers safe but but sin has consequences all sin has consequences but the invitation to you and to me is to come out of that place of Providence of care safety of covering where we might flourish as human beings under the care of our loving father and according to biblical imagery husband let's pray father I pray prayer blessing over the marriages in this room just ask even now that you would begin to drum up in the hearts of husbands and wives places where they haven't paid attention and maybe steps they need to take and regret in regards to repentance and confession and such and but I pray that even more than that but they would get a real sense in this kind of romantic picture of marriage of your pursuit of us your love of us your desire to shelter care and provide for us pray again for our singles in this place I thank you for how they show us the breath of your love ask that you would bless them especially those who are eager to find a spouse and operate this other picture that you would bless them with that in time we love you thank you for your grace and mercy so your beautiful name amen

Channel: The Village Church Resources

Views: 49,414

Rating: 4.8650928 out of 5

Keywords: Matt Chandler, The Village Church, Captivated, The Long game

Id: MeXSywqChxs

Length: 43min 29sec (2609 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 12 2017