Seemingly Perfect DAD Got His Mistress Pregnant & Demands I Love Her As My MOM - Family Drama Story

what family drama do you want to get off your chest six years ago it came out during couples therapy that my father was cheating on my mom and that his mistress was pregnant my mom initiated divorce six months after the divorce was finalized my father married his now wife and they had three kids my dad has apologized for his actions and we are still doing therapy so one day i can truly forgive him i do not like my so-called stepmom but in regards that she is father's wife i begrudgingly show respect i have never called her out of her name until later in the story if she speaks to me i will say something back if i am in her home i will clean up after myself however i will always refer to her as my father's wife and she will never be a prominent figure in my life this is something she cannot accept i have never let my true feelings about her be known until the other day while at my father's house she attempted to make a cringeworthy joke about my girlfriend with the saying the blacker the berry the sweeter the jews and said that i was not a good enough looking boy and she was confused about why i would go out with a dark-skinned girl and not someone white like myself i guess the look on my face told her to shut up so she changed the subject she then revealed that when my dad gets back from his temporary duty assignment she had booked a photo shoot for family portraits of us and she wanted to do a special photo of me and her two sons holding signs that say don't mess with her with her two-month-old daughter i have never been in any of the previous family portraits because i refused to and my dad said i didn't have to i told her i was not going to participate she asked why i was being difficult and that she just wanted family pictures with all of her children six years worth of hurt came out i told her she was a fool to ever think i was her child or that i considered her family from my perspective she was nothing but my father's rude side chick who had nothing better to do but chase after a married man and sit on her couch all day i took it a step further and fully implied that her daughter wasn't my father's child because she looks nothing like him she turned red and started crying saying how disrespectful i was and i had no right to talk to her in such a manner i fully admit i called her a witch and stated she didn't even deserve any respect for me because she didn't respect my mother's marriage and if she ever disrespected my girlfriend again she would live to regret it after realizing what i had said i left and haven't talked to her since everyone that i have talked to says i should at least apologize for calling her a witch and i don't mind doing that however certain people say i shouldn't have gone off on her because my dad was gone and she just had a baby etc i have a pretty cliche life story my mother was an immigrant to the us and married my father i had the dream childhood that any kid could ask for when i was 18 my parents divorced because my dad got the hots for his co-worker's wife they got married and went on to live their happily ever after meanwhile my mother packed her stuff and moved back to her home country to be closer to my mother i started applying for colleges in her country my younger brother at that time stayed back in the us for a year and then started applying for college in my mom's country a year after they got married my father had his baby when she was born neither me nor my brother were there in the u.s to meet her my father sent us her pictures and that was it meanwhile i got busy with my college and then my job i met my boyfriend and we are planning on getting married i plan to live in my mother's country permanently now me and my brother haven't seen our father since we both left the states recently we got news that our half-sister got diagnosed with leukemia and wanted to meet us apparently my father promised her every christmas that we me and my brother were going to visit her next year i only found out about this promise when he requested me and my brother to fly down to the u.s to meet her in the hospital i told my father that we would definitely come down to meet her but it would have to be a month or two later as my brother was busy with his med school semester exams and i was busy with a very important work project and i could miss out on a very important promotion if i bailed in the middle of the ongoing work he was sad but he insisted us to reconsider because she was getting sicker he even said that he would pay for the flight tickets i promised him that we would definitely come down to visit her after i was done with my work and my brother was done with his exams two weeks later my half-sister passed away i felt sorry for my father and emailed him to send him my condolences a week later was what would have been her eighth birthday my father's wife made a very emotional social media post celebrating her life and expressing sadness about her own family abandoning her i knew she was talking about me and my brother now here's the thing i don't think we abandoned her we weren't able to meet her because the timing wasn't right i had worked really hard for that promotion and it's really hard for women in my line of work to get that promotion it was a rare opportunity for me and i didn't want to give that up so about five years ago i 27 years old male have been friends with benefits for a couple of months with a young woman 26 years old during exchange semesters we mutually agreed that while we liked each other we didn't love each other and we were not going into a relationship but would rather be having some fun together and that's it well despite both of us using protection she somehow got pregnant i didn't want the kid but she did i argued none of us was in a financially stable position we were not in a relationship i can't see us both co-parenting since we're from different continents etc she said she does understand and all those are good arguments but she simply does want to keep the child and that's it we argued back and forth for a while but in the end it's her decision and she kept the child we were never fighting never yelling just arguing she eventually told me that i am free to walk away if i want to she'll raise the kid alone and she won't ever ask me for anything i still didn't like the idea and would have preferred termination but i won't be the one ultimately deciding so i walked away the semester was soon to be over anyways and i moved back to my home country thousands of kilometers away we never heard from each other again that is until a few weeks ago when i received a couple of text messages from her about how both her and the boy are doing well along with some photos of them i replied that it's nice to hear they are both well and healthy but also after some chit chat that i am perfectly fine with staying out of their lives and would like to keep it that way that's when she started to mention some financial problems she's having and that it would be great if i'd start to chip in with the expenses for the boy i declined and reminded her of how she said five years ago she'd never asked me for anything she was not happy with my reply and kept pushing me now i checked with a lawyer and since we were never married i never recognized paternity and we live in two different countries with very different jurisdiction the chance of her successfully going after me financially is very very low so i decided to completely stay out of my kids and his mother's life and to also not contribute financially five years ago she did take a unilateral decision dismissing my standpoint and gave me a very unambiguous promise that i am free to walk out of their life and she'd never ask me for anything i'm asking her now and forever to be true to her word now there will be people who say it doesn't matter what she said you are always responsible for the life you created well i agree but i think it's ultimately her who created that life so it's her who's responsible but i do also understand that this is quite a controversial topic my daughter has one son she had a change of heart about being married to my grandson's father in 2018 who by all accounts is a hard-working humble man she wanted a lifestyle change enter her new husband an unemployed actor with two children he is irresponsible shady not trustworthy i have caught him rummaging in my grandson's room in my home with no excuse as to why there are other things too that make me distrust him i have a lot of anger surrounding my daughter's choice which in my opinion was motivated by selfishness she took off and left my grandson with me and my wife while she went out of state for weeks on end throughout the past year to visit her partner and my grandson's grades happiness and health have all taken an enormous knock he has lost weight misses his mother and father is lonely and anxious she doesn't call him or care about him anymore my wife and i have purchased some property with the intention of gifting it to my grandson when he turns 18. we have also gifted from our savings into a new bank account in my wife's name for the moment a helpful amount that he will be able to use for college the only reason my daughter is aware of this is because the purchase of the property was not something we were exactly able to keep secret i decided to be up front and tell her if she doesn't want to be a mom her own mother and i will do right by our grandson my daughter has said to estrange herself from my wife and i because we are showing favoritism to my grandson she came to our home yelling and screaming and asked do you even care about the stepkids i told her those other two children aren't my responsibility or do i care about them they have a mother who they live with my grandson isn't welcome at his mom's house because his new stepfather makes him uncomfortable and she certainly isn't putting him first my wife is usually on my side and thinks that i was right to tell her daughter the truth but she thinks i should have been diplomatic i think she deserved to hear the honest truth last month when my parents were driving back from my uncle's house outside the city they encountered a moose on a remote road in the forest my father who was the driver swerved at a high speed and hid into a tree they both died on scene because it wasn't a very often used road they were only discovered the next day by a passerby my sister has been staying with my grandmother who i'm not a fan of she would mistreat me when i was a kid most of the time deservedly so but also a lot of time unjustified she said that she doesn't want to adopt my sister so the next option was me i agreed to it without question we are very close and in the end she's my family and i love her to the end of the world my sister moved in with my girlfriend and i two weeks ago obviously she's very scarred from what happened to our parents we were both very close to them and they were great people she still doesn't really talk much only to me and sometimes my girlfriend we take her to therapy twice a week and there are improvements even in such a short amount of time yesterday after i stayed with my sister until she fell asleep i went to my and my girlfriend's room and she said that we have to talk about this situation she said that we don't really have time for each other since my sister moved in it's a fair point we've only slept together once and that was when my sister was away and even then i wasn't really into it at all she said i should reconsider the adoption and maybe hand her over to my uncle and aunt i refused they're already busy as it is my uncle isn't allowed to work because of a heart condition and because he didn't work long before being diagnosed his disability fund isn't very big my aunt works at a retirement home and that obviously doesn't pay great they also pay for my cousin's university expenses while juggling to take care of my younger cousin my girlfriend is in her last year of university so we don't have much money either i luckily found a job after university in my field that pays pretty good but it's been tough financially though soon enough i will start receiving funds from the government for adopting my sister my girlfriend said she isn't ready to become a mother and overall having all of these responsibilities of a parent which i can understand it's tough and said that it's been putting a big strain on our relationship which again is valid before we get back from work and university and be off for the day but now we have to pick my sister up from school drive her to the therapist and also take care of her a lot when she's home she doesn't like to be alone i told her that she makes valid points all of that goes out the window when this is my sister i can't just throw her away because it's not easy it won't be easy and that i have to ride it out but that she doesn't it probably wasn't the right thing to say because it set her off and she said that if i had to choose between my sister and her who would i pick i didn't answer and we got into a bit of a verbal fight after which i went to sleep on the couch and i kind of broke down from everything that has been going on lately i should like to add that my girlfriend and i have been together for nine years she knew my parents and they loved her she also knows my sister from birth and i just can't understand how she would make me pick between them i love both of them and i don't want to lose either of them edit i also want to add because people seem to think that i just suddenly took my sister without even talking to my girlfriend that's not the case we talked about it at length and she said that we need to get her to come home to us no matter what that's why i was also really surprised as to what she had to say a lot happened since my first post in the end my girlfriend now x i guess couldn't deal with the fact that i had set a new priority i admit i wasn't the best at managing time between them two and i would spend a lot more with my sister than my girlfriend but i think that's understandable maybe in general my girlfriend was on and off with my sister one day she would be the nicest person to her and the other would completely blow her off and be borderline mean i had a few talks with her that it needs to stop but it would only end up working for maybe the rest of the week and then the next it would be back to square one about three weeks ago it erupted into a big argument she accused me of not loving her anymore and that i play favorites i told her they're not my children to be playing favorites and that obviously for some time my sister is going to need a lot more attention since you know that she lost her parents in the end she went back to her ultimatum sister or her i was angry at this point because she had been mean to my sister that day and i told her she can pack her stuff and find a place to sleep tonight i haven't seen her since and quite frankly i don't really want to we texted for a bit basically both sides confirming it's over and arranging when she can come for the rest of her staff as for my sister she's a lot better she doesn't stay in her room all day anymore and she's slowly going back to her talkative old self she still doesn't like being alone but it was the same before the accident so since my girlfriend moved out we've been sharing a bed for comfort she still wakes up at night crying sometimes so it's better when i'm there and frankly it's a lot more comfortable one thing i really regret is my sister heard that whole fight and she started apologizing to me for breaking me into my girlfriend up i ensured her it's not her fault at all and if anything she helped me see for who my girlfriend really was she still goes to her therapist and it's really helped a ton she doesn't need me to be there while she falls asleep and doesn't panic when i go to the shop for 15 minutes all in all these past three months have been the hardest time in my life but eye-opening to my ex's disregard for my family and kind of me too sorry for no happy ending i guess this is how real life is so i'm a 23 year old guy and i have a four-year-old daughter i'm a single dad since my kid's mom passed away in an accident two years ago i'm not gonna lie and pretend it's been easy we're getting by aside from her my big sister is my only family mom is dead dad's a piece of crap we have no contact with don't have any grandparents or aunts or uncles or whatever my sister is getting married in three weeks her wedding is child free which i totally understand however the wedding would mean me being out of town overnight and my daughter has some issues with separation anxiety meaning there are only a few people she's comfortable being left with for such a long time one of them is my sister one of them is my neighbor and one is my co-worker slash best friend obviously my sister is a no-go for babysitting on the day and my friend is out of the country on that date originally it was planned that my daughter would stay with the neighbor however two days ago my neighbor had a bad fall and broke her hip she's an older woman so the healing process is going to be hard and she's not going to be up to having a kid running around in three weeks this obviously has left me without a sitter i asked my sister if she'd be willing to make a compromise and let my daughter attend the wedding but she and her fiance are steadfast they want no kids there i apologized and said i'm not going to be able to attend then because i obviously can't leave my kid by herself and she's not at a place yet where i can leave her overnight with anyone else my sister is really really upset because now she isn't going to have any blood family at the wedding and her fiance had some very choice words for me regarding my daughter's anxiety problems and how he thinks i'm using them as an excuse he even went so far to say she's just being a brat and i need to stop enabling her which annoyed me for context her issues come from the fact that she was in the same accident that her mom died in and we're working on them with a counselor but obviously these things take time i don't know i feel crappy abandoning my sister but if she's not willing to have my kid there i don't know that there's much else i can do i have two other siblings one younger brother one older sister my sister and i are young my brother is eight our parents are divorced and we're in custody of our mom we go to see dads on weekends and he's nice i had a brother that passed away in the hospital december 16 2018 and he was an adult that's all the information i'm comfortable giving about him ever since then my mom has been in her bed upset only coming out to the bathroom and having her food brought to her my sister and i go to bring her her food and turn out her lights she doesn't talk much but when she does it's quietly and to tell us to do something only when we're in her room though routinely we give her breakfast and dinner my sister doesn't leave her lunch only a sandwich on her desk side to encourage her to get out of bed and make herself a decent lunch my sister works to help us and our dad has stepped in with more money for the bills we take the bus to school we all go to the same one recently i had an argument with my sister while at my dad's on a sunday i told her that our mother needs to change and asked if she even loved us she told me that our mother has lost a son i said that she had others and we lost a [Music] brother you

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Id: HANAVQ1t-Ng

Length: 18min 58sec (1138 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 12 2020