Secrets to Developing Emotional Mastery

how do you develop emotional mastery you know a lot of folks go through their life and and and they feel bad about themselves they go through their lives and they they're not resilient when the crap hits the fan they go through their lives and they don't feel like they understand other people or worse they don't understand themselves so emotionally throughout the day they're just up and down it's doubts and fears and hurt and anger and reaction and they never get that point where they feel like they really they really connect that they really have any solid feelings about themselves that endure despite the situation's you know everything is so situational for them emotionally that it's just a constant battle to feel good and I hope that isn't the case for you but for a lot of people it is so let's talk about five ideas to develop emotional mastery in your life so that you can have more a continuing feeling and sense of self and strength number one we got to begin with empathy before we even talk about your emotional world let's make you more informed about the emotional world of others you know a lot of folks they've never really observed the feelings that other people are experiencing they're always in their own thing you know I wouldn't call them narcissistic per se but they're in that they're in that sort of tragic place where everything's about me me me me me how do I feel what I think what I think what I think what's happening to me and sometimes the real understanding about ourselves comes in our connection to humanity the the feelings of others because you know what the feelings of others can give us perspective into the feelings of ourselves you know you go volunteer at a soup kitchen or a domestic abuse center or somewhere where people are really struggling it helps you develop a greater level of gratitude and appreciation it helps you develop concern for others because if we don't have concern for others it's hard to have real concern for self and if we don't learn more concern for self we won't even pay attention to our motions we'll just keep choking it down pushing it away and so first I just say before you develop an emotional mastery in life it's about time to connect with other people's emotions again see how they feel pay attention to what they're saying try to read into body language a little bit not to make assumptions but to seek understanding and other people again like turn the worldview lens like the operated life like a camera and zoom into people's emotions again when you're watching a movie when you're having lunch with your wife when you're talking with the kids try to start ask yourself what are they feeling what do I feel like they're thinking and then ask is this what you're feeling is this what you're thinking because the more you're able to identify other people's the more you might learn something about yourself so I say to develop and a greater connection strength with yourself develop a greater connection strength with other people - and that's a big leaping point big breakthrough for a lot of people number two emotional mastery self-reliance self-reliance it means this how do you develop emotional master you say you know what I'm in charge of my emotional world I don't have to react to other people if they're angry I don't have to become angry I'm autonomous I am separate from even though we're all one I'm in separate from I can control my thoughts I don't have to have emotional contagion all the time where I just react to other people's emotions I become like them you don't let your mirror neurons win in your brain where you just mimic other people because if you're running through life constantly like adjusting your emotions to everybody else just modeling them or mirroring them or or mimicking them then it's a disaster you're on this emotional rollercoaster all the time you need to define how do I want to feel how do I want to interpret this situation self-reliance means I am in charge of my life I am the one who's going to change things I am the one who controls my focus my attention my time my actions you know if you setting my work before you've heard this state and I say all the time there's only two things that change your life either something new comes into your life and that shifts it you know you get a new relationship a new idea a new strategy when the law during something happens that changes the course your life for some new comes from within and you get emotional mastery in life you need to say okay I'm going to generate the emotions of my life that I want to experience here I'm going to manage my emotions and not let others manage mine third get develop self confidence self confidence is not something that's gonna come tomorrow or the next day or the next day after another million achievements or after you get certified or after you get the degree where after you have sex yeah well maybe that'll happen but what do you have to do is say I'm gonna develop self confidence now I'm gonna develop it because self confidence really means I'm going to choose to express Who I am I'm going to choose to believe that no matter the situation or the struggle that I'm in I'm going to believe that I'm gonna figure it out I'm gonna approach a situation like Sherlock Holmes Sherlock Holmes is always confident he's gonna figure it out he's curious he's inquisitive he has no idea what the heck's going on but he's not terrified you need to start addressing uncertainty that way emotional mastery comes from a final place that's stable within that says I don't know what this uncertainty is I'd have plenty of reason to doubt but I'm not going to doubt myself I'm going to trust that with enough time attention energy resources action discipline that I will figure out the lay of the land that's because I wear now how is it you just walk in any social situation you're so confident I say because one I realize fear and doubt aren't going to serve me in that situation I know who my masters are my mind is going to master the situation fear and doubt aren't going to run me and I choose to say okay I don't know these people but I'm confident if I talk with them a little bit of time things will go fine things are fine I might put my foot in my mouth and say stupid things but if they give me another three minutes I'll turn it around things will be fine I just trust in my ability to figure things out that's self confidence that gives me emotional mastery next social sharing emotional mastery comes from vulnerability and vulnerability is gotten this weird rap in the world because a lot of people been teaching it I think in a poor way vulnerability at its heart real vulnerability means the vulnerability to believe in and accept my truths but more importantly than anything it's the strength to share my real thoughts my real feelings my real desires my real needs with people real vulnerability is voice not just like mmm I'm gonna allow my feeling in this moment that's cool too and no no misjudgment but that's only half the coin the coin there the other side the coin that makes all the difference in the world is when you take that vulnerability now and you voice it does the world know what you really think do your friends and family know who you really are and what you really feel and what you're really after because if you're not voicing those things in some way that silence will lead the suffering it's time to tell people what you think even if they might not like it it's time to tell people how you feel even if they might not like it it's time to tell people what you desire even if they don't believe in you because that's real vulnerability that's social sharing and when you were socially share that then hey look you do it with responsiveness responsibility you do that with an empathy that maybe people don't like you that maybe people won't accept it that maybe people be hurt by it so you do it with any sensitivity required in the moment but you can be sensitive but still truthful you can you know walk around eggshells but still be walking right the thing is to voice what you really think feel and want in the world more consistently and if you'll do that it develops confidence and it helps your brain go you know what I trust myself to say what is true and a lot of emotional mastery comes from that self honesty and then I think this is so important the last thing is self talk self talk means you tell yourself how to feel you tell yourself how to respond you literally say things in your mind or out loud to yourself no I talk to myself all the time and I'm not crazy I'm I have emotional mastery because I do those things like I'll get upset about something I'll take a beat I'll take a walk away and I'll say okay Brendon how would your best self respond to this situation right now I'll literally say that out loud and I'll let myself answer well you know what I would apologize well you know what I'd tell the truth well you know what I'd sit down and do the work and it's okay emotional mastery you have to give yourself cues you have to give yourself affirmations you have to tell yourself how to think and feel and act not hope the perfect you comes out emotional mastery comes from you telling yourself what to do and you're doing it enough over a period of time that your brain and your emotions fall into a state of sort of integrity between your mind and your heart and your heart goes I trust you mine your mind says I trust your heart and that only happens after practice after long enough times you just tell yourself right same things in the morning look you might wake up on the wrong side of bed and you could go through all day grumpy let your emotions just take you over or you can talk to yourself okay what's going to happen if I'm grumpy today nothing good what's gonna happen if I Gump you today I'm gonna be mean to people what's gonna happen if I'm grumpy today I'll be less creative so don't do that come on generate the emotions in which I want to experience day change my focus talk to yourself talk yourself out of the grump and you will find that you start to feel better these are the keys the fundamentals of developing greater emotional control greater emotional mastery and you deserve those things but they won't come naturally you have to try challenge yourself develop in each of these areas of your life and you'll start to experience more of what we call the charms life [Music] hey my friend its Brendon I hope you enjoyed this episode do me two favors number one subscribe to this channel so that you continue to get updates every time I release new training for you and number two if you would like to get ahead a little faster in life what I'd like to do is give you my 10 steps to achieving anything 10 times faster so if you have a big goal a big dream a big mission in life and you just like to achieve it faster what would you need to do you know this is exactly what I keep next to my computer or next to my bed and then every time I have a a big dream a big goal I open it up and I kind of use this as my checklist to get ahead faster because you and I both know if you're going to be more effective or more productive or you are going to achieve your goals and your dreams faster you're gonna have to switch your perspective a little bit on achievement itself you have to adopt new thinking patterns and habits you're gonna have to have new daily rituals and habits and your entire approach to learning and skill development must be better so in order to help you do that just go ahead and click the link in this post or go to Brendan comm forward slash 10x thats Brendan BR eak and do n.com ford slash 10x and you can download this guide for free just tell me your name and email I'm happy to email that to you for free the same God I use to achieve any goal or dream faster thanks for tuning in until I see you next time go out there every single day of your life live fully love openly and make your difference today

Channel: Brendon.com

Views: 235,061

Rating: 4.9408689 out of 5

Keywords: self-help self-improvement personal development the charged life, personal growth, motivation, inspiration, motivational video, motivational speaker, inspiring videos, inspirational quotes, motivational quotes, life quotes, life coaching, high performance coach, success strategies, the charge, the motivation manifesto

Id: kLs6oq6YEJU

Length: 12min 27sec (747 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 23 2016