I'm Discouraged, What Should I Do?

hey my friends its Brendan and I'm in my podcast studio today and I was chatting with my team and they're texting with them and they were saying you know a lot of our community is asking right now how do you deal with discouragement you know when you're trying to achieve your dreams you're trying to do something important you're really passionate about a project and things aren't going well or someone makes fun of you or something fails and you're just in this place where you like I'm so discouraged I just wanted like sit on the couch and watch Netflix all day and quit the universe know what do you do when you're like down on yourself and I know this is a big topic I take on a lot of my episodes I hope that you will enjoy this one because I think there's four things you can really do to help you deal with the discouragement both emotionally and practically so the first thing if you are feeling discouraged right now I want to make sure that you do this one thing don't compare yourself to other people a lot of our discouragement in life comes from we compare ourself to other persons it's like oh well I'm starting my art in my craft and my views and the work I'm trying to do but look at how far are else someone else is look at how beautiful their art or the how big their businesses or how many followings they have and we like get discouraged because we're starting small and they've already achieved so much and we're comparing our beginning to what they've already achieved after years or years or decades of achieving what they've achieved and do not compare yourself to other people instead ask am i following my truth am i working diligently towards what is important to me am I on my own path am i staying consistent to what is important to me and what I believe in and what makes me feel alive do what makes you feel alive not what makes you compare with other people not what makes you feel like you're measuring up to anybody else you got to walk your own path a ton of times discouragement really comes from it's not that we failed at something it's we truly know in our deepest part of our life our soul we know we're on the wrong that's where like perennial discouragement comes from where it's just like year-over-year we're discouraged with our life we're not on our path we are not confident pursuing the things that are true to us that make us feel like we have a sense of personal freedom you know there's things that they're like that's my thing I'm doing this because I want to do this i intrinsically feel like it aligns with my values my hopes my dreams it's my thing because when you're doing your thing you don't get as discouraged when you're doing something and comparing it side by side the other people over and over and over and over what you really do is you're blending your thing with theirs and you're living a conforming life not a free life and when you're living a conforming life there's always discouragement there when you're living a free life there's an openness and optimism even if you're struggling there's this openness and optimism because you're like you know what I'm doing my own thing and that brings me alive and that aliveness dampens down or knocks out that discouragement so first if you're feeling discouraged be honest have you been comparing yourself to others have you been measuring yourself to others you know I've been doing my episodes on YouTube as an example for what you know ten years and I know that it can be very discouraging if I go and I look to other youtubers and I'm like oh my god they have millions of subscribers and they've only been doing it like six months and I've been what for a decade you know obviously I have problems because I don't have any cat means no I don't pull pranks on people I don't swear and I don't do anything that's like clickbait so yeah maybe that slows me down however I never get discouraged because I know the doing episodes like this that's what I meant to do I'm meant to be a teacher I'm meant to be a coach this is my style like it or not I've been doing it for a decade it's what I deeply feel is my calling and what makes me feel unique I'm doing this extemporaneously I don't have a script I don't have a teleprompter I don't have all these psychic senses of notes I just my teams like people are struggling with this Brendan what would you say and I just go that's my natural gift because I spend all of my days in my life as a high performance coach and trainer helping people this what I do I don't try to do what other people are doing so when I don't measure up to them I don't get discouraged cuz I'm like oh they're doing their thing I'm doing my thing do your thing you experience less discouragement in life second if you get discouraged please adopt a learning mindset what people who are discouraged often do is adopt a catastrophic mindset their mindset is like oh my gosh I failed here so I'm a miserable jerk you know I'm a loser and they start identifying with progress meaning if I'm not progressing enough my identity means I'm a loser and so they get more and more discouraged versus adopting the learning mindset that simply asks am i learning here at the speed on people of like am i learning oh would I learn implement that test implement test implement test implement and by testing more instead of like everything is on the line it has to go perfect or everything falls apart that's catastrophizing learning more says oh what did I learn here today let me try that again tomorrow let me try this again next week let me do this new thing next month and that learning mindset almost completely wipes out that discouragement for me anyway I don't get discouraged very often because I'm like well I'm learning okay got a new distinction today right the more you looking for distinctions versus allowing yourself to wallow and live in discouragement the more your life advances the more the emotions come back to the positive range the more your curiosity is fired because you feel discouraged guess what that does discouragement destroys creativity but when you feel like you're learning that sparks curiosity curiosity is the foundation of creativity and creativity is the igniter of motivation sometimes so you see how that works if you can just look at where you're at and say okay what's the five things I've learned in this experience that can help me change my behavior literally tomorrow or next week or next time I do that thing that knowledge gives us competency right when we learn we get competent the more competent we get the more confident we get in high performance studies we call that that confidence competence loop and so the more you have that learning mindset more you'll advanced it'll change everything at third when you're getting discouraged I'd love for you to try something that sounds a little woowoo but it really works next time you're discouraged what I want you to do sit down close your eyes imagine like literally sitting next to you or standing next to you is your most confident happy healthy joyous self from like ten years out like literally imagine like ten years from now the most confident happy just successful you returns to today is it next to you and you're like sharing I'm discouraged because this what I want you to imagine that confident you standing stall standing tall breathing proudly looking you in the eye and advising you what would that future confident incredible you tell you to do now what would they say what would the tone of their voice be what's the three things they would tell you to do next as the right action of integrity I love that practice every time I kind of get down on myself I'm like I mean just like anybody else I could sit and wallow in it and I could be like I suck I suck I suck or I could go you know what I'm feeling discouraged having a down day hold on world close my eyes I'll think about the future best me write a future Brendan and I like Park that bread in next to me and I'll see that me stronger confident more buff looking good now and literally in the most positive joyous confident way have that future me say hey kid no you're having a bad day but you know what in five years your life is gonna be extraordinary so here's what you didn't need to do pick yourself up and the next three things I want you to do are but Bob and Bob and I'll listen I'll listen let your future hi yourself coach you to the next level instead of the current you who feels down and in other words don't try to make decisions based in your current funk envision a compelling future you coming today advising you how to rise to your highest if you can do that and not like like casually but really invest in it like really feel it like hear yourself see yourself believe in that future you giving you that advice that can change the game and if you if you like struggle seeing the best you the best future you doing that imagine one of your greatest mentors imagine somebody who's inspiring as a figure to you may use your grandpa your grandma your parent your caregiver somebody who you follow on social media who's like your hero a historical figure have somebody look you in the eye like intellect like just visualize it and tell you what to do do these three things kid and then implement follow those three things do those three things as fast as possible like what's the next three things not three things over the next 10 years have that future you or that aspirational figure tell you the next three things that you can do literally today to pick yourself up that will change the game and number four if you are feeling discouraged here's the hardest one share that truth with people like give yourself permission to be vulnerable and tell other people like I'm really feeling down right now I'm feeling like it's not working I'm feeling like I'm not doing okay because the opposite of that is just stewing in silence suffering in silence striving in silence and sometimes in that silence there is a lot of emotional suffering you know you don't have to be on this journey alone there's people you can reach out to whether it's at school or at work or your caregivers or your family or let nonprofit organization or something long line where you can go and just like share it's important you know I know it's easy to say I don't want to do that because people will make fun of me I'm like yes it's true some people will make fun of you and some people will say hey here's some advice kit or we'll say hey it's ok I get what you're going through I've been there too or some people say hey here's a resource for that literally there's 7 billion people on the planet and it's hard to tell people this but I really want you to hear this there is absolutely nothing that you are going through right now that others have not also been through like I as a coach sometimes sometimes like the hardest times in my life is when I've had to tell parents who lost a child other people who lost a child - lets get you connected in that group so that you can learn how to deal with it and understand what's gonna come up emotionally and in the future for you I've had to tell you know people who got diagnosed with cancer you're not the first person to get that diagnosis and it sounds flippant to say I know but you know it's too bad that we close ourselves off and we really think that our experience is so unique that we can't share it because if we believe it's so unique we won't ask for help if we don't ask for help we don't get their resources or the social support that help us pull ourselves out on days that we can't do it on our own because we're social humans you know sometimes we need that encouragement from others when we are feeling discouraged and that won't happen unless we reach out you know if you just sit on the side of the road and mope very few people will have the recognition to pull over and help you in life but if you raise your hand if you make some noise if you reach out to people all of a sudden people take note and I know that that's hard to understand sometimes when you're really down trust me I get it I've been in every position of failure in my life whether I got bad grades at some point or I started my first business and that failed or I did my first big online course or did something and that didn't do the numbers I wanted or I got sick or I had my brain injury as many of you guys were with me when that happened or I started this new program or I did that big thing with that big person it didn't work I mean I it's all happened to me and other people to whether I've lost loved ones or I failed in business or I struggled in this area and the thing that pulled me through was I was never silent about it I would say hey guys I'm going through a tough time what do you do when you're in this position like can you walk me through give me some pointers give me some tips I'm curious I just want to learn and they'd hear me ask for the learning and they would open up and sometimes I need to reach out sometimes I needed to go to a volunteer organization and ask cuz I didn't know buddy any you know people around me who are dealing with that sometimes I needed to join a group or a master minor or go to a seminar or or like do something to get around other people where I could share my journey whether whether it was like-minded people or qualified professionals sometimes you need a coach sometimes you need a therapist sometimes you need a nutritionist or a support network I don't know where you're at whether you're having issues with with health or family or relationships or your team but somebody out of seven billion people with thousands of human years of human history has dealt with it and you can take just solace in that just knowing you're not alone just knowing Wow other people have dealt with this let me get curious defining them let me go and approach them with the learning mentality let me go be vulnerable and say hey what would you do in this situation because if you'll ask them it will spark curiosity if you'll ask them they'll give you some steps if you ask them you'll learn if you learn you get competence you get confidence a little confidence comes back in you know the next steps - do you have that confidence you take a few steps you got a few more people cheering you on and suddenly the days aren't so dark and you're not alone and discouraged I hope this episode serves you but I also know you know that you probably know somebody who is discouraged so if you do me a favor just send this video to them you know just send it just get them to watch this video somebody you know go through a tough time if you thought any of these points were helpful subscribe to my channel if you haven't seen all the videos that we do here I'm always taking questions on just like this for 10 years I have been recording videos doing podcasts putting out a weekly newsletter just answering questions like this so get punished so get somebody in our community we call our community team HP X or HP X life because HP X stands for the high performance experience we really believe that everyone wants to experience the highest levels of success in their life but they have to perform at the next level they have to be their best and sometimes that requires a lot of courage to ask for help or to be part of a community like this so if you're in what we call our community team HP x or HP ex-life high performance experience please invite other people if you're getting value from these videos you see I'm not selling anything in them I'm just asking you to help spread the message I feel like right now we're like a scary time where a lot of people are really discouraged and they're down and instead of sharing positive messages or or resources like this we are sharing you know stupid clickbait or we're sharing like hate-filled messages online and I think it's up to you and me like literally individuals like someone like you watching this to share content like this I think we can turn the tide I think the world is tilting a little bit more negative than it needs to I think we have to do something individually each of us and all you do is grab this link share with a friend tell somebody about what we're doing here and I hope that this message will support them and if you're somebody who got that blessing we're that grace from somebody else and they sent you to this video return that pay it forward send to somebody you know who's discouraged today and let's light up the world a little bit there's good people out there never forget that there was those of us who really care never forget that there are support groups never forget that there is a more positive tomorrow never forget that my friend all right hey guys it's Brendan and I hope you enjoyed my video today if you we do mean two simple things number one share with somebody else and number two click Subscribe down below that will help so much and then you get notices every time I post a new video also if you're somebody who's always like looking at my work and you're wondering like how does he do it all we have two new tools that can really help you reach what we call that high performance experience as you know I call you guys team HP X which HP X stands for high performance experience it's that idea that philosophy of living that says I want to live the highest version of myself I want to life that's you know vibrant and connected an excellence driven like you want to reach that next level of high performance and success in your life that's why I call you guys team HP X and we have two new tools for Team HP x that everyone is freaking out about so I'll help you check it out the first one is our new high performance planner this is what I fill out every day to keep my mindset good and positive to live a happy life to really prepare myself for the day so it helps me not only just set my goals but make sure my priorities are clear keep a clean schedule review and rate and measure myself at the end of each day on the high performance habits that we know make you more successful this is available on Amazon or most bookstores anywhere it's called the high performance planner pick up a copy yet it's where I fill out every morning and our new HP X optimized many of you have wondered how I keep the mental clarity and mental motivation and creative edge this is our new supplement to hook HP x optimized you can also find it on Amazon and this is the thing that gives me that like that that energy and that focus each day to be my best which as many of you all know was really important to me and I developed this because I had a brain injury in 2011 and it threw me off my egg game and and my mind wasn't right and I just didn't have the ability to focus anymore and this is not a product to cure you know brain injuries this is a product for any person out there who says I want a little more focus in the day I want a little more creative edge I want my mind to be just more and aware and this is what the product does without caffeine without GMO without soy without all the nonsense look it up on Amazon it's called hpx optimizing these are the two new tools for our HP X Committee I hope you engage I'll be able to look up them up on Amazon there's some links in the post down below where you can get them at the best rate so please engage again please subscribe please share stay part of team HP x and please as you know every single day you have a choice you can go be average or ordinary or you can choose to be extraordinary so my friends go big store night

Channel: Brendon.com

Views: 137,635

Keywords: personal growth, motivation, inspiration, motivational video, motivational speaker, inspiring videos, inspirational quotes, motivational quotes, life quotes, life coaching, high performance coach, success strategies, the charge, the motivation manifesto, self help, brendon burchard, personal development, self improvement, discouragement, chasing your dream, building skills, overcoming obstacles, comparing yourself, overcoming failure, bouncing back, confidence, moving forward

Id: 38pLDhYFFaA

Length: 20min 25sec (1225 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 13 2019