r/Tinder | Looking for a Right Hand Man

you're ugly boys I think I'm in what's up guys and welcome back to MA my name is Damian a never looking through our slash tinder pay you imagine with Alexa how many people make dumb look so play song jokes to you I've deleted tender too many times because of it dang that's so sad Alexa had cried about the newly married 19 just a simple Amish girl on Rumspringa looking to lose her virginity I want you to plow me harder than Jedediah plows the fields whoo whoo Mary Mary quite contrary aundre's 30 years old he's a lawyer and he went to Harvard Law School in time for the week and the week after that probably the following week do I live here and don't really have anywhere else to go horoscope girls be like hey I'm sorry I cheated on you and screwed your dad but I'm gonna spare I guess it's just how I am hey hey how you doing just got my butt eight she capitalized a what am I supposed to do just got my butt eight want to come help out not even gonna lie I could totally go for my tongue in your butt right now wow this musial never works lmao really girls who don't like a tongue in there but aren't fun okay but can I put my tongue in your butt I'm being serious answer the frickin questioned amnok me when I install tuner for the 760 fourth time people keep asking if I'm back and I haven't really had an answer but now yeah I'm thinking I'm back you match with Anthony I have bad news a-hole ready the doctor called oh no he said I'm suffering from a lack of vitamin you who crazy mine just told me the same thing only they think he said vitamin D [Laughter] they're real and they're spectacular Thanks tits McGee jokes what gives you here a tear dad to go to the bathroom the P is silent nah bro because they're extinct dummy 80 you're an idiot Marisa more like [ __ ] it's uh got'em bumble asked me if I need a good opener I do but why don't you go first the uno reverse card oh wow that's a good one hello nice to meet you this is my business card and it's a link to dirty code die Oh what the actual Frick is wrong with you the length of this man sent me is a series of images of an illustration of what his wiener looks like it also has graphs of how much he finishes and diagrams of his favorite sex positions it is honestly the most grim thing I've ever received on tinder Carlos 20 years old she says can't speak French but I can hinder your wee-wee Oh Jean upon a pas francais jean-philippe pas francais I do not speak French my friend Casey 19 stats HP 5 XP to strength 1 intellect 3 charisma 4 weapon of choice big little knife but Lisa's 26 you want to [ __ ] by one you want a queen earned her so how much do you charge I like to be choked but sea turtles don't please recycle Thank You Jennifer Christopher's 26 years old do you like cuddles do you like cheesy jokes are you lonely then this Christopher model is for you the Christopher comes equipped with the following cheesy jokes cuddle mode listen mode can be buggy self-learning technology state-of-the-art penis technology act fast and order your Christopher now only one left in stock batteries not included penis size me very ugly in person hit me which you'll comprehensive plan to fight climate change elimination of the human race you remind me of my uncle want to smash just kidding I just want to grab some coffee with you Jesus your uncle must have quite the bond in spite of all the childhood trauma he is pretty ripped this is bad that's what I said to my uncle but he just didn't listen thanks Daniela thanks for giving him the opening to make that one-liner yogurt cereal ice cream Madi from tinder I'm making a list of all the things I want a spoon later well what are you waiting for consent I Maddy hereby consent to being spooned by blank from tinder when all the girls who say if you have a dog in your picture I'll swipe right don't swipe right those masters lied to me sorry old man I would have milk you like a cow please fill my mouth with your cream I can do that what's your snap will you be my cow if that means nothing in your mouth MooMoo Brook and take me out to the pasture you son of a [ __ ] everyone calls me an but you could call me tonight tonight I'm dad got him got him hey Victoria this is an automated message to remind you of your upcoming Netflix and chill appointment in the next week to confirm your appointment text yes daddy to unsubscribe please text wrong hole standard text and bill rates do apply thank you for choosing Slydini ODMs oh my god I've never seen this message unrecognized please confirm with yes daddy to unsubscribe text wrong hole yes daddy well you say you like dark humour so do you want to hear a nice friendly joke for a change sure go ahead what's a pirate's favorite letter I know where this is going but I'll give you the satisfaction of saying it yeah may think it'd be R but it's true love B to C frickin godom LMAO OMG 10 into 10 for the twist that's brilliant my favorite joke it Trump's all of my dark jokes I think I think it Trump's all of mine you set the standard too high for this conversation don't expect me to be funny I've already failed twenty two-years-old ball control like Messi use my head like Ronaldo normal Jesus no more positions than mil no more men in my book than Mike Dean don't bike like Suarez sup we know like a champ did you get home yeah I did but now my phone was dead so it took a while oh my you could have died the only people who had the opportunity to kill me where people going to work and a cat how do you know well you're right the cat did look pretty dangerous tinder dog 18 tell me your issues ask me for advice ask for pickup lines I've got you either way my dude I love tinder dog oh it's always great to come across him hello well well you do have a great smile I could assure you it's not great in person but I can speak English really well so that's something should I be surprised that you can speak English it's my main talent do you speak any other languages I do not I am a hopeless romantic looking for a cute simple relationship I will steal your sweatshirts my love escape rooms Jesus is my friend I've also never seen the notebook Norah Game of Thrones I made an escape room in my basement no one ever won yet Wow background her bio says got my heart broke by a tinder boy ready for the next mine says ex gymnast impossible your next ex ready for the next and I'm ready for my ex it's a one-week relationship made in heaven let's frickin go well Abby I just have one question how do you feel about subpar conversation and mediocre smashing my favorite welcome to the crap show oh gosh does this mean I had to start carrying a bookmark if I don't want to lose you Wow funny oh man you probably get that a lot don't you no actually I've never heard that one dang well I noticed that most pages have numbers but I didn't happen to catch yours holy crap you deserve that and it's a phone number we got it boys we got the number turned to act like their feet are greased up and just slide in queeny's 24 my superpower is that I don't have a gag reflex at first when people found out they just called me a freak now they just call me all the time this Templar is 23 he's a knight the Catholic Church and he studied at the Kingdom of Jerusalem I am usually busy slaughtering infidels and just generally crusading about really I love riding my horse and screwing stuff up for the glory of God I do like to chill out though I read the Holy Scriptures and sometimes clean the blood off my sword I find it very relaxing I have a pretty full-on job taking back the Holy Land I'm just kind of seeing what's about at the moment hit me up I don't do insta they keep getting banned Deus vult me reading about 90% of matches not responding you guys are getting matches Carolyn's 22 looking for someone to be my right-hand man cut Ching ain't that a funny joke give me a topic any topic and I'll make a pickup line out of it Hawaii pizza is the best pizza ever oh boy you couldn't be more wrong but I made a promise so hey girl you clearly into making bad decisions about what to put in your mouth so how about a night with me oh crap I'm dying right now okay so that's a good sign I hope you made my night man and you can make his by putting him in your mouth did you know the pools on the Titanic still have water in them because they're underwater no it's science your explanation is too easy sorry did I ruin it for you no the Titanic's a bad icebreaker anyway RIA is 21 you should date me because I won't walk out of your life that's fair but I also see you're out of your chair and I think we walk in it you're not gonna be walking anywhere stupid so we got a big old wagon with some painted things on the pocket hey Michaela I like those jeans with the painted pockets I'm good of an artist myself however I would have a much different method of painting those cheeks thank you and you can do whatever you want including clapping both cheeks give me an A hey give me an A hey give me an L no that's not Nell me making a terrible joke my matches are slash tinder Matthews 22 know that Game of Thrones is over I could be the biggest disappointment in your life but do Shh that's what we call a funny joke match with four girls on Bumble none of them talked to me within 24 hours doodle Bob's 21 and he says Nijo I may know a hoe I'm in joy that's doodle bob fer I love you hey yo I think we have the same pillow we do so when you sleep in my bed it'll feel just like home that's smooth I like that you match with oil on 5:30 19 send crowds let's ask questions to each other so we can get to know each other kind of personal questions okay how many nostrils do you have I'm not really good at this game maybe you start okay and what age did you get physical for the first time my mom would beat me since I was three and my father started beating me at age five oh you ever get any crappy pick-up lines about Rome lol no we really kind of feel like that's the easiest to do with your name why you can call me the Arab because I'm gonna bring Alexandria to its knees as a history lover thank you so much for this like yes ten to the ten five stars on Yelp they're onto us bullies got to step our game up here for a good time not for a long time sometimes I love partying clubbing and raving you guys need to stop getting your pickup lines from reddit I've gotten the exact same one six times this week why again nice job hiding a name [ __ ] this this is the second tinder video in a row or someone's tried to censor a username or an actual name and then forgot the report option shows their name good job dummy welcome back to dummy school what do you like you I'm the smoothest man to ever live I really just walked right into that one didn't I I like to think I led you there whatever works have your smooth skills anyone any luck on this app if I look you mean a girlfriend then no if by luck you mean smashing also now Samantha 25 about Samantha I like it rough yeah I could see I could see that did you smash Godzilla what'd you do there what happened sasha is 22 you can delete me on Facebook you cannot follow me on Twitter you can delete my number but you can never unlike my butthole yeah yeah you can't are you a shark because I got some swimmers for you to swallow the likelihood of a shark attack is one in three million seven hundred eight thousand sixty-seven so I think your chances here are slim sim is 22 need help with the new pose yeah you do man I'm posing with a snowman on my profile exactly is that snow guy your ex by the way you look like a hot piece of butt yeah she was too cold to me cheated on me with a snowman from across the road I found a carrot on her bedside table and it wasn't hers Jesus I am so sorry we had a similar thing happen when I dated a scarecrow came home when there was a trail hate leading up to the bedroom nothing but a couple of sticks and a Sun hit on the pillows dang I bet that was the last straw for you guys I once knew a scarecrow was a jerk when he was outstanding in his field nice sup want to screw that ever worked for you first time I've ever said it to be honest maybe try again then sup want to screw why do surfers eat cold food what do you mean we around the best surfing conditions but when it gets dark we cook up an awesome hot meal I usually cook up a big breakfast after I serve in the morning also because they don't like microwaves that's true we don't oh my gosh Sydney we haven't talked in forever okay so what's the rest of the pick-up line wait what oh my god please don't tell me you actually know me and I just said that crap let's see how long we can ride this out boys I've never met this girl me ugly AF way out of my league girls super like it must be backwards day cuz you're a gym that's actually a good pick-up line now kiss what are you doing tomorrow hanging out with you I think oh you don't remember seeing that on my schedule oh never mind then what's on your schedule tomorrow then Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga twane that brings us to the end of our slash tinder and I hope you enjoyed the video leave a like down below if you did enjoy and if you want to see more content from MK subscribe now I try to end these videos with some sort of a funny monologue like of my late night TV show host but I got nothing for this one the comedy writes itself and I'll be seeing you [Music]

Channel: undefined

Views: 1,991,886

Rating: 4.9486895 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, sorrow tv, rslash, giofilms, r/tinder, r/tinder top posts, r/tinder best posts, tinder emkay, tinder posts, tinder funny, emkay

Id: a6LkTRmtGAo

Length: 15min 26sec (926 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 18 2019