r/TechnicallyTheTruth - Funny Posts V4

suddenly all of humanity loses the ability to lie what happens we certainly will talk a lot less whatever these iced figures are going through I can relate they are going through a meltdown what's the best way to avoid paying income tax in Hungary don't work in Hungary dog licked a baby's head by surrett the baby was bald how how exactly was this a shower thought I remembered it in the shower one time I went to hand someone a bowl of hot soup and my brain tried to say careful it's hot and here's your soup so instead I blurted out careful it's soup no matter how kind you are German children are kinder who said brown eyes aren't cute Hitler you can't change the people around you but you can change the people around you unknown a district is just two grown men sitting in separate rooms writing poems about each other I left my job today I couldn't work for that man after what he said to me What did he say you're fired full B NTV I have been thinking about this all day stop saying I wish start saying I will I will I wasn't broke young age 29 what's up your leg how far have you gone with a guy I went to Canada with my dad once 20 million subscribers team trees 30 million subscribers team sees bruh how you gonna plant 30 million sees I asked my nephew how old his dad wasn't he replied six I said how can he only be six if you're six he said because he's only been a dad since I was born I guess how many calories in uranium 20 billion calories a gram uranium is roughly 20 billion calories a second great reason to not eat uranium find the angle no no he's got a point what is the quickest way to get rid of a boner scissors Mars is the only known planet inhabited solely by robots my boyfriend turned down five fully paid scholarships just to stay here with me I really love this man so much you'll boyfriend Damas crab please be kind and leave the toilet in the same way you would like to find it think about others Oh your brain is acting illogically it's meat with electricity inside what the Frick did you expect you want worthless your organs alone are worth quite a bit caution wet floor tell me something I don't know if Pinocchio had said that his nose grows longer every time he tells the truth nobody would know that he was lying watchful children best trade I've ever made Air and Space Museum prisoner who died and was brought back claims his life sentence has technically ended other prisoners write that down write that down any series or move is related to cooking no MasterChef no Rattata Lee Breaking Bad don't take life too seriously you'll never get out of it alive hello who are you and rogue and robe here's what Julius Caesar would look like today pretty sure he looked like that in his time as well do twins have the same size D now we are asking the real questions as a twin I can say my D is definitely bigger than my sister's hey James my hands look weird can you make it look like I'm holding the pole instead sure why do people like feet not king shaming just wondering what about feet makes them so attractive to some people that must be something from the US here in Europe we are more into meters do you see that man over there to me yes Jesus I see him that's the man that murdered you and your family while you were sleeping he repented and asked forgiveness now he's here in Paradise with us go say hello just a warning if you're buying a watch on Amazon I learned the hard way that if it says you can swim with it this only applies if you can already swim without it this is a ship shipping ship shipping shipping ships dead batteries free of charge what gets you out of bed every day I don't know about you guys but my arms and legs usually get made up scientists I just boiled water me solid no I just mean that's cool wrong again Satan if it's one or 1000 cents you're still getting sent to hell so why not go for 1 million sins and come down here a legend got yo what the Frick the human body is incredible right now if I so desired I could do 15 percent of a backflip and wreck my crap right here on the sidewalk is it drinking alone if you're pregnant it is if you keep drinking oh dear God when you ask for someone's name you're essentially asking them what noise you should make to get their attention also remember the ABC rule of first aid a phone coming up through the skin is very bad you're always wrong in the eyes of a girl that's not true you spend your whole life gathering guests for your funeral teacher why do you have the same answers student because we have the same questions teacher listen here you little Sh my favorite genre of food is crunchy water [Music] when you're drinking beer the beer is getting drunk - how lucky are you me technically you are just as lucky as the other 99.999999 nine percent of people who bought a ticket doctor you broke your arm in two places eight year old actually it was just at the playground when you measure time in milliseconds crap just went from zero to 100 real freakin quick while three tattoos there's a pretty permanent you know me while three kids there's a pretty damn permanent Carol technically both can be removed with lasers making a plant illegal is like saying God was wrong making a plant illegal was one of the first things God ever did Skaar didn't murder Mufasa it's a cat's natural instinct to push things off ledges shirts are crazy your body goes in one hole and out three excuse me Satanists don't believe an elite role Satan then what do you call people who believe in elite role Satan Christians owning a camera doesn't make you a paragraph watching the World Cup when Eminem said I have to be stomped by 40 men to suffer a defeat 40 men equals 80 feet equals a defeat earth is the third planet from the Sun which makes all our problems third world problems I'd really like to hear the reasoning behind women who won't take their husband's last name because my last name is best the Wright brothers are indirectly responsible for 9/11 change my mind so the person who invented the boat is indirectly responsible for the sinking of the Titanic you can kiss yourself in the mirror but only on the lips if you include dead people the average person is dead the average person is mostly dead by one burger for the price of two and receive a second burger absolutely free with great power comes great electricity bill what a powerful message there it is the ioan team hidden in the a hole i just laughed for like 10 minutes take a card any card that's my credit card our bracket abre the seven best hangover cures backed by science one limit your alcohol intake I'm mad teachers told us if you don't do well in school you're gonna be the garbage man and never told us the garbage man made more than them never call chucky cheese at three in the morning why they are closed what drives a woman to cheat mostly you bar without you sixty minutes feels like an hour or baby really I love you so much every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes what has four letters occasionally has twelve letters always has six letters but never has five letters Finland is one of the happiest countries but on the other hand there's more suicides in Finland than on average in other EU countries that's why it's the happiest country all the sad people keep killing themselves ketchup is a liquid made from a fruit and contains 20% sugar that makes it a soda some people are demanding that so does require carbonated water I guess that makes ketchup a sports drink like power raid the moon will blow up suddenly and without warning thanks for the warning that guy who is waiting for you right around the corner me googling what do I do leg bleeding raccoon bite Google elevate and apply pressure mean lifting raccoon real high apologize or else if it's in stock we have it the invention of knocking I'm gonna punch your house until you talk to me if you don't watch a series entirely you are not a true fan if you do watch a series entirely you are not a true fan you are only a true fan if you are powered by electricity have multiple flat blades spin around really fast drawbridges ahead boys who can pull off facial hair are hot I think you're supposed to use a razor fresh poultry cut smothered with wheat powder and boiled in olive juice that's fried chicken your belly button is just your old mouth I was having a good day we were all having a good day can you guys please recommend books that made you cry engineering mechanics statics 14th edition Brussels see havilah joining the military as the male equivalent of Frick this I'm gonna be a stripper if you ever feel useless remember someone made a protective cover for Nokia 3310 it was to protect the floor what would you do in a nuclear attack die long sometimes it's annoying when your character can't jump in a video game but how often do you jump in real life do you even remember the last time you jumped is a question I never anticipated leaving me feeling so hollow and terrified happy 10th birthday son here's our at now go into the woods and fight some stranger's and don't come back until you've explored the whole continent this is basically the plot of Pokemon this Sesame Street Muppet will become the first to experience homelessness Oscar the Grouch been living in a trash can for 49 years it is his home though if you rob a store naked as a miner no one can watch the security footage without committing a crime sky sunny side of pyramid shady side of pyramid girlfriends have tricked us into believing sleeping on the couches of punishment fell us the couch ain't so bad can game until you fall asleep TV right there pass out in your clothes closer to fridge girlfriend misses you if Jesus was executed by hanging then the symbol of Christianity would be announced a normal conversation this plant-based alternative promises to help high schoolers stop vaping study finds atheists are more likely to own caps than Christians this article is stupid besides not knowing how to feed and care for them it's illegal to earn a Christian let alone buy and sell own people don't understand when I say I like grapes but not grape flavored products that crap don't even be tasting like grapes it be tasting like purple and y'all not that makes sense if you disappeared right now what would the investigators be puzzled by my disappearance or how cute he has an imaginary friend in reality plants are actually farming us by giving us oxygen daily until we all eventually decompose so they can consume us a man held racist slurs and a punch at a FedEx driver then died after he was punched back damn he sent him to God same-day shipping hashtag gay hashtag lesbian hashtag bisexual all the gay hashtags are rainbow now watch hashtag kissing the home is goodnight see it's not gay isn't it weird how we pay money to see other people you mean prosper concerts or the movies glasses extra credit draw a wrong triangle the moon landing was staged by the government no triangle that's wrong shut up how is he not catching on fire maybe it's cause he's already ash change does not come from a place of comfort I find pennies and nickels in my couch all the time so I don't know what you are talking about I've always referred to God is she God is a deity therefore not male or female just my opinion the male word for a god is God the female word for a goddess goddess if you smoke you will get high if you read a book you get educated but if you do both you'll get highly educated my seven-year-old son so if a boy likes another boy he's gay me maybe but it's not just gay or straight there's lots of things a person can be my son noting wisely like Jewish I'm not like other teenagers I'm 51 how to write hello in Mandarin lifehacks she can't catch you cheating on her if you don't cheat I have this friend the snapchats me when he's high and I just bikes are acoustic motorcycles cars are liberated trains like the video and subscribe right now and watch my previous dankmemes videos thanks

Channel: Clumsy

Views: 2,040,588

Keywords: reddit, technically the truth, r/technicallythetruth, funny, memes, dank doodle memes, dank memes

Id: IQl0VifgA-0

Length: 15min 12sec (912 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 10 2020