r/TalesFromTechSupport - THE PUNCHLINE IS...

what's up guys welcome to daily dose of Reddit I'm your host Zach and today subreddit is our slash tales from tech support don't forget to like subscribe and hit that Bell to never miss an episode this story's called what the haul is at number three another suitably anonymized tale for my salad days at XYZ limited this one however it doesn't involve open barrels of nuclear waste but please feel free to read on or not as you see fits depending on whether you think the absence of nuclear material is either a huge improvement or a terrible loss and narrative potential X Y Z limited not the outfits real name we're sort of a one-stop shop for automation power transmission in control and my job was to be a technical specialist in sales manager for one of their ranges of stuff so the tech I dealt with that XYZ limited was amongst the more newfangled the electronic e and complicated stuff they sold and they also had a warehouse full of plain old motors controllers transformers gearboxes couplings and and and in every size from palm of your hand to we're gonna need a bigger truck goods in once lost a transformer that weighed over a ton less than five minutes after they booked it in but that's another story this stuff was used as an Salieri's and more complicated jobs but there were plenty of customers who just bought that kind of item either ones or twos or a couple hundred of them a month clunk click brothers were one such customer they had a decent business building a particular kind of simple machine they only did that but they were good at it and they did this one basic type in every size and specification they also had a well-earned reputation for fast turnaround on specials which were therefore also nice and profitable for them obviously I'm not gonna say what kind of machine they made so for the sake of arguments let's pretend it's winches those ones you might fit on the front of your 4x4 so that they're perfectly positioned to punch straight through the radiator core if you happen to rear-end someone or get brake tested and clunk click standard range has quarter half 3/4 and ton capacity winches then every half-ton increment upwards until there's no demand anymore they can do them to suit the peculiarities of your jeep / Land Rover / Humvee / whatever without breaking sweat if your car has 24 volt electrics instead of 12 volt they'll ring us up already knowing the different part numbers for what they want but if you need submersible and hydraulic powered they'll be asking us some questions and double checking before buy if you want a 25-ton winch for your ex-soviet 1930s tank recovery vehicle they'll be asking you some penetrating questions but if you give them the right info they'll deliver you something on Monday that fits perfectly clearly there are options you might build in here fix / variable speed extra brakes carbon nanotube cable etc etc so there's a huge range of permutations possible even on semi standard stuff almost everything clunk click did was effectively built to order even if they already had the parts on the Shelf at this point I should probably emphasize that they didn't actually make wenches in the machinery they did make was very definitely an industrial and not consumer product I regret that I am presently unable to recommend a quality aftermarket wench supplier everyone in engineering at XYZ limited was to some degree cross trained so aside for my nominal specialty there were several other things where the call wound up routed to me if that specialist was out / on a call and the order clerks couldn't handle it so I probably walked someone from clunk click through the calculations for special every couple of months wasn't even - loss leader from XYZ limited's point of view a few minutes of my time checking the details with someone who was already an expert in making not actually winches left plenty of markup in the deal to cover our costs anyway one day the range specialist from the stuff they generally bought who also happened to be my line manager has a meeting with clunk click nothing very unusual in that but apparently whatever it is was urgent enough that line manager is summoned to see them at short notice in tailing half a day's travel to and from as well as the actual meeting but without having enough warning to use the opportunity to also go and see anyone else in clunk clicks local area I don't think much of it until they come back later in the day looking more than mildly irritated what's up I asked line manager Cheerilee while palming off on them anything that came in while they were else and it looks like I can justify it being on their to-do pile instead of my don't click of hired a new purchasing manager they just walked into the meeting and demanded five percent off all current prices and no reason no increase in sales volume just a price reduction because the new purchasing manager promised the same 5% does purchasing manager know nobody else sells half the stuff they buy Larry do now so no change to clunk click brothers current discount schedule then no what was the rest about surely they can't have taken all morning it did and I got stuck in a jam coming back shut up my head hurts and don't call me Shirley life rolled on and it was probably a good month before I had any interaction with clunk click bros I get a call forwarded to me order clerk can't work out what they want and line manager was out slacker no problem that's what I'm here for so purchasing manager comes on the line that's more unusual if it needs technical input then normally I'd be speaking to someone in design or sales but ok brief introductions ensue while I get their account upon screen Purchasing Manager then advises that from now on clunk click brothers will only be using their own part numbers since this is more efficient for them no problem I click through a couple of menu options I should mention our stock control system here which was ancient even when I started it started out as some proprietary UNIX database that has been modified in-house time and again bar the odd glitch it worked perfectly with the minor issue that persuading the legacy wizards responsible for maintaining it to add pronounced change any feature that a mere decades experience suggested might be useful was one hell of an uphill challenge anyway any given item that XYZ limited sold has three descriptors a a long-form text description of its technical characteristics actually multiple database fields which was generally only used in full for quotation purposes be a long alphanumeric product code that if and only if you spoke the relevant dialect of gibberish could be decoded to tell you exactly which model of what it was and what options applied think washing machine and fridge model numbers see a part number a pseudo random 8 digit number that was unique and never reissued if the part was discontinued at least in principle similar items wouldn't have similar part numbers so wrong digits could be spotted easily we could work from any of the three but the most common was for the customer to ask for items using be if they were technical and see if they weren't but the database also allowed us to record customer part numbers either for individual items or kits and multiple things against their account so I announce I'm in that display there's a search function and a table of the most commonly ordered stuff I've not looked at it for clunk click before but they seem to be using their own dialect version of our product codes B which makes sense God says purchasing manager I want five number ones three number twos and one number three got that good and they ring off unfortunately the search function doesn't turn up one two or three as a part number previously used by Khan click gross or any other single digit or anything resembling that so I note down a few regular purchases and ringback purchasing manager how can I help you oh hi this is o P from XYZ limited we were just on the phone have you forgotten already interrupts purchasing manager five number ones three twos and number three right down this time I did unfortunately we've no record of you using those part numbers before so I don't know what they are well what part numbers are using I read a few off-screen along with the first line of their description Tex those are the old part numbers we're not using them anymore okay well if you tell me what each of the new parts is I'll put it in the system with this order and we'll know for next time you want them the whole part of this explains purchasing manager is to save time watch the point if I have to tell you what a part number means because at the moment only you know what's number one the not really a winch motor on e5 which motor you've had 47 different types of motor in the last six months the five we need next and don't have here obviously I'm not sure why purchasing manager thinks I know what clunk click has in stock so I still don't know which motor you need five of I don't want five the same I want five number ones I really don't understand at this point order clerk has gotten back to their desk by now and is gesticulating in a mildly obscene manner I can understand very clearly what order clerk thanks but unfortunately that's not proving to be immediately helpful sorry I don't understand I say you want five number ones but they aren't all the same motor nurse finally part number one is a winch motor all winch motors are part number one and one only means a winch motor part number two is a gearbox if there is one part number threes and splined shaft adapter if there is one I don't think I could explain any better than that I am to this day of the opinion that it is indeed Lea completely impossible to explain the concept of improving efficiency by using the same part number for everything you want any better than that so let me make sure I have this right you want five different motors all of which now have the part number one and three gearboxes are those all the same or difference and looking at your history I don't think you've ever bought a spline shaft adapter before in fact I'm not sure we even sell them we used to get them from other supplier but we only ever use them on some winches and those have your motor on them so I decided it would just be easier to get them from you at the same time as everything else but we don't sell spline shaft adapters and if you bought them from other supplier we've got no way of working out what they were your new sale them I've just given you an order for one now are we going to get this stuff tomorrow or not on the other side of the room order clerk is now experiencing considerable personal joy at my expense the treacherous get has also obviously shared the story so far with department manager my boss's boss apartment manager loves practical jokes probably invented the concept of schadenfreude ah and it's also grinning like a loon no I say faintly I can't enter your order because I don't know what you want to buy except that there are five different motors with the same part number and three gearboxes that have a different number and a spline shaft adapter wise so hard for you people because never mind who's your manager my manager is line manager they're also your account manager out of the corner of my eye I see that on hearing the word manager department manager has decided to pop out at the fire exit for a quick smoke break normally they leave the fire exit ajar to save having to walk around the building to get back in but this time it seems to have mysteriously slam shut behind them line manager is probably the best person to speak to they're out all day today but I know they'll be in tomorrow I expect a call from them tomorrow morning at an urgent delivery to compensate for the time loss today I've made notes on everything we've said and I'll give them to line manager first thing tomorrow this is mostly their specialist area anyway five ones three Jews and just one three yes I've made special note of that clunk so I added a bit to the notes and dumped it online managers desk with the sheet on top that said you need to renew on click bros ASAP line manager was a keen sort and had probably been at their desk half an hour before I saw them next morning we exchanged pleasantries before line manager holds up my scroll pages from yesterday you have problems yesterday with an order from clunk click yep your insert qualifications here and you were defeated by an order for five motors and three gearboxes yep I've read your notes but it's probably easier if you tell me before I ring them order clerk forwarded the call to me purchasing manager has changed all clunk clicks part numbers all motors are now number one all gearboxes are number two which motor whichever they need today apparently that orders for five different ones and all gearboxes are now part number two yep so what the hell is a number three spline shaft after they get from other suppliers limited we don't sell anything like those I know I mentioned that to purchasing manager but they weren't happy with that and wanted to speak to you you promised I'd ring back today yep this morning apparently it's urgent also you are their Account Manager line manager picks up the phone and then put it down again mid dial department manager was here yesterday why didn't you put purchasing manager on to them they ran away really asked order clerk line manager mutters something like cowered under their breath and rings clunk click gross over the next few minutes I get to hear line managers half of the conversation it sounds remarkably like when I went through yesterday line manager puts the phone down again it's true yep motors are part one all gearboxes are part two apparently all cables are part five did purchasing manager mention that yesterday no I think that's new it's true and I still can't believe it good thing we don't supply cables must be an absolute nightmare for them not better wrangle brother clunk find out what they actually want later that day line manager did indeed ring old brother clunk technical head honcho at clunk click brokes valid part numbers were exchanged and lo the order was placed and with due process fulfilled interlude a couple of months later line manager is back in the office after a couple days out on the field visiting customers so they're dispensing the various inquiries and tender documents they've acquired to whoever does what while they and the rest of the section are catching up on what's gone on in each other's world while they were away Oh dad's line manager my stop dear neck clunk click browse on the way past you all probably ought to know that purchasing manager has left the colleague next to me says parents the pootie and someone sprays their monitor with coffee now their screen is lime green and brown yeah and they've already gone back to using their old part numbers what says I innocently the ones where there was just one meaning for each part number yes and purchasing manager is being replaced by buyer who starts next month and won't have authority to make engineering decisions did purchasing manager have authority to make engineering decisions shut up says lion manager and buries their head in their hands here endeth the lesson wow that was okay first of all that was insanely long to read but you know what you know what the writing was done spectacularly well like they wrote it in a way where I could understand what was going on at any given moment I mean well because they obviously work in a business or industry where you have to really know what you're talking about because like this stuff that's just way beyond me I've got no industrial expertise at all whatsoever so I really appreciate your writing your editor and you know what the story's pretty funny that's just the kind of ridiculousness that's really common in any sort of customer service environment but yeah let me know what you guys think down in the comments below this story's called they're on to me I started as a system admin at a bank beginning in September I don't really know their systems yet and as I'm kind of getting my bearings in learning the core applications before a big massive conversion I decided to learn the people there's one department that runs all day every day helping customers with their various BS they're nice and competent at their jobs but I'd never call any of them savvy tech users I made it my personal mission to make every freaking inch of their tech lives as smooth as possible before the conversion this story is about them when I noticed what they do and how much there is I felt kind of sad for them one lady let's call her see has bad vision relating to a surgery or something I noticed her squinting a lot and mentioned it briefly she just said that it seems like her monitor was going out and so she had to squint sometimes I ran down to the local BB box store tech warehouse Emporium of suck my money and got her a couple of monitors large monitors with great resolution when she came back from lunch I had them all installed along with her overhead lights programmed to come on dimmer than the sunshine brightness she was used to nextdoor H has a bad shoulder when her phone rings Cisco pops up on her monitor and she can answer it easily but she wasn't getting the same love from the shared line I overcame my fear of Cisco call manager and fixed that I'm embarrassed to admit that it took me almost two hours she didn't have to reach any more I never mentioned it to her I've set up fingerprint scanners with toe prints for people who can't use their fingerprints removed pencil lead from a clicky printer set up ergonomic keyboard mouse combos and random other crap all under the assumption that I was going mostly unnoticed I was feeling really good about this new server I'd ordered and a meeting about a new phone system that went really well coz Frick H point three to three and just kind of having a good day when the doorbell rang I almost never answer and today was no exception when my admin guy came and said there was a delivery for me that required my signature I was confused during the time I was signing for our package flowers but from a mystery someone they snuck to my office and gave me a cheesecake surprise a gift card for coffee I don't like and a card that said we're on to you they told me about how they had noticed all the things I've been doing in stealth mode and how appreciated it was never in my years of ID has anyone ever shown appreciation for what I do Wow some days are good sorry for the ramble I'm just a little in shock wow that was actually really wholesome I'm really happy for this redditor here um it's always nice to be appreciated especially when you think no one even notices what you do let me know in the comments below if anything similar has happened where like someone maybe threw you a surprise party like for your birthday or just because they appreciate something you did or maybe you threw a party for someone don't forget to Like subscribe and hit that Bell to never miss an episode

Channel: Daily Dose Of Reddit

Views: 49,946

Rating: 4.9076924 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, r/TalesFromTechSupport, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit funny, daily dose of reddit, daily dose of internet

Id: lliYhkTILCM

Length: 19min 21sec (1161 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 11 2019