r/pettyrevenge - Doritos

hello there don't I have some special treats for you today enjoy warning this post talks about abortion and the comments includes some abortion debate and some abortion jokes I told a co-worker in confidence about my pregnancy because I wanted to ask about her experiences being pregnant as she has the same disability as me at that point I hadn't decided whether to move forward with the pregnancy or not shortly afterwards I began to strongly suspect she'd told everyone I was pregnant and then were setting up a surprise party to congratulate me also shortly afterwards I made the decision to terminate the pregnancy I told the co-worker that I'm planning to get an abortion and she went pale she said oh are you going to tell everyone else and I responded why would I they don't know I'm pregnant right and she looked really uncomfortable then eventually confirmed my suspicions she asked me to please tell everyone but I said she made the mess by telling people my private medical information so she has to clean it up enjoy telling the Boomers that they have to cancel the party they're planning because there's an abortion happening instead last summer I bought my grandparents home from the family and started remodeling it the septic system was absolutely wrecked and had to be replaced ASAP hired the engineer got plans drawn pulled permits and contacted the Installer that my engineer recommended he stalled me through the fall resulting in me having to wait until this spring and use a different more expensive installer it's been wet this has caused me major headaches once the work was completed I googled his business he hasn't claimed it I claimed the business switched his number and address to the competition across town should be an interested few months for him over the last year I lived in my fraternity house on campus the first semester that house was filled up and since I was one of the last to get into the lease I had to take a bad room with several roommates the room was the size of a garage with a bunk bed my elevated bed and a bed on the floor we also had a couch TV and two fridges my bed was closest to the couch all of my roommates and I had the same friends so I could typically find around 7 to 12 people in my room on a given day in the beginning of the year my parents loaded me up with snacks to last a while some stuff was perishable a roll of bagels but most wasn't now I kept my food under and above my bed I was consistently eating my food that was under the bed but not as much as the food that's above eventually after a while my roommate started to eat my food when they got the munchies basically every other day I confronted them about it and they denied it / apologized and paid me back sometimes one day before dinner I came into the room and noticed someone had eaten my Doritos I was pissed because I specifically had saved those for later that night and stuffed them in a drawer seeing the crumbs on the ground and the drawer slightly broken I was pissed I confronted the 9 other people in the room and they all denied it conveniently dinner was ready so we all walked downstairs but I was still pissed I had to go a meeting immediately after dinner so I ate quickly and went upstairs to change into a suit while changing i hatched my trap I took a piss in the bag of Doritos and left it visible next to my bed I closed the bag and then went to my meeting when I came back from the meeting my roommates confronted me about the bag they were pissed because the room smelled like urine I saw that the bag wasn't in the room anymore and I asked how they knew it was urine two of my friends not roommates but were in the room before dinner had eaten the Pistor itõs the whole house was divided on whether I was in the right or wrong about overreacting to them eventually one of my roommates who was notorious for stealing said he respected what I did and I haven't had anything stolen from me ever again first a little backstory I'm an Irish American woman living in southern the main francophone country I am also perfectly bilingual in French and English English is my first language but I've been learning French since I was about 10 I'm now 34 and have been in the original francophone country for five years suffice to say my French is basically flawless at this point now in this francophone country there is a subset of the population that is less than kind to foreigners now I work in a steel foundry machine shop and my company has another American woman in the office staff who is also one of my close drinking buddies because we both at the time lived in the same district of our city we often rode the same bus home because she is not quite as fluent in French we often speak in English when together it's easier for most subjects anime clothing other esoteric topics etc and all that well one day this didn't go over very well with two older women we had gotten on near our work site and had taken a seat happily discussing a new anime that had come out on crunchyroll a few months before they must have been on since the beginning as the bus originated from a small village the other side of the foundry from the city ten minutes after boarding we began to hear them now remember despite speaking English to my friend we both understand French perfectly and oh boy the comments now it's been a bit over two years so I don't remember the exact phrasing but it all basically came down to them being jerks speak French you are in the francophone country jerks woman one listen to these stupid Americans woman 2 I wish they would actually learn the language w1 you know how they think always need to be center of attention they have the IQ of an oyster a particularly French Way of saying stupid w - surprised they aren't dressed like a pair of two euros insert derogatory term for a specific kind of worker this went on for the entire journey now I have just as low an opinion of most American tourists I'm from a u.s. West Coast state known for being green and weird and while we are a friendly bunch I often joke about how folks from a state known for Apple in the film industry are the most invasive species in my state and so I take exception to being compared to garbage tourists I'm also a petty jerk and both me and my friend knew these women did not speak English as we had tested the theory by calling them bitter old dingbats and other insults that don't translate easily into French so we hatched a plan we had basically had enough and wanting to pick up some pastries from downtown I am a total pushover when it comes to eclairs decided we would shame these two in the most obnoxious way possible as my friend press the button to request a stop Mike why they turned around and faced the two witches me in perfect region-specific accented French I hope you two have something else to talk about after we get on I really do enjoy being the center of attention the look of shock and horror on their face was priceless they were talking loud enough that the dead could hear this was where my friend joined in friend I guess is dumb American derogatory term s we should start learning French say I know a song we can practice with as the bus stopped and we stood up singing frère Jacques sat the top of our lungs loud enough that everybody could hear we got off the bus still singing as the bus pulled out the driver grinning like an idiot and several other passengers laughing as these two women tried to hide their embarrassment pretty certain a guy who was sitting behind us had joined in the song we got he flares at one of my favorite local places which was still a ways from our homes but damn the walk was worth the pastries moral of the story don't assume that the foreigners speaking a different language don't understand you my boyfriend was cheating on me for the past month with who I thought was my best friend I found them in bed one day and I broke up with him on the spot and blocked both of their contacts I was sad for almost three days until I started planning my revenge I texted my ex one day if he was itching and burning down there he said what do you mean I told him I was also cheating on him and I think I got an STD he started freaking out because the day before we broke up we had sex I also texted my exbest friend that it was so funny seeing them freak out over the phone hoping it was a joke I'm pretty sure they're both planning on getting tested now I was in about second grade and we were outside for recess as a kid I would get really bad motion sickness thankfully it has gone since then it was so bad that even swings made me feel sick so we had recess after lunch and being the stupid little kid I was I decided to go swing for some reason after a minute or two of swinging I really needed to go to the bathroom inside to possibly throw up I went and told the recess monitor that I really needed to go inside and throw up she tells me to hold it I go away for about two and told her I really really needed to go inside she again tells me to hold it at this point I know it's coming at any time so I decide to sit down by the only door on this side of the school and wait a couple of minutes later recess is almost over I feel a sudden urge to throw up and I do all over the door now this got the monitors attention as everyone now had to walk to the other side of the school to get inside revenge gotten hotel trivago so today my neighbor mowed all of her grass and blew it directly into the road this is a crime due to the fact that it is dangerous for people riding motorcycles my stepdad has always been triggered when they do this as he rightfully can be so as he rides motorcycles himself well today while my stepdad was not home my cousin who lives with us decided to take the leaf blower and blow all of the grass directly back onto her lawn blowing dust with it across her lawn and into her garage where she was standing he had a big crap eating grin on his face when he did it too I have the video if anyone is interested Lowell what did you think what would you have done differently share your opinions in the comments and if you enjoyed the stories slap that like and subscribe button for more of them and don't forget to support the original writers with an upvote links are in the description peace out and catch you tomorrow

Channel: PerStories

Views: 2,676

Rating: 4.8198199 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, ProRevenge, ask reddit, ToadFilms, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, ask me anything

Id: P5mEUtXILdI

Length: 10min 16sec (616 seconds)

Published: Sat May 30 2020