[Subtitles by danielsangeo] Welcome to the Halloween episode
of the Game Dungeon. Now, there are SO MANY games I
could've chosen for Halloween, and I originally had more ambitious plans,
but this has been a BUSY month for me, so I'm having to scale things down a bit
so I'm not releasing this in November. So, instead of having lots of
Halloween decorations and costumes with bags full of candy, this is more like stealing your
neighbor's pumpkin and handing out breath mints you
have lying around the house. So, on that note, The Last Stand
is a free Flash game. Whoa, whoa! Don't leave yet! I promise, there are plenty of
tricks and treats in this episode. So, let's get started. Now, The Last Stand is a
zombie survival shooter. See, look at the instructions:
"Aim & shoot! Kill! KILL!" Well, that's the attitude you're
gonna have to take to survive this game. The goal is to hold out for 20
days against the zombies. Pretty simple in concept
so let's hop right in. Now, I'm firing like a maniac already,
but trust me when I say this is NOT overkill. If I take my time and just focus
on the ones in front of me, the horde will be here before
you can say, "Reload." If they reach your barricade, they start
tearing it apart until they get in and eat you. This game is going to make
you fight for your life. Okay, so that wasn't that big a
deal, but that was just the first night. Now, here's where the other half
of the game comes into play. After each night, you can repair
your barricade, search for weapons, or search for survivors
to help you out. You only have so many hours in the day
and you have to make them all count. And, just like in real life, if
you go out searching for people, there are NO guarantees
you'll find them. Sort of like a dating site,
except instead of dates, you're looking for any idiot
that can point a gun the right way. [mumbling]
Perfect. And just to spice things up, there's a chance that you can
lose any survivors you DO have any time you set foot
outside your barricade. I mean, you saw what
it was like out there. I like this blend
of luck and strategy in between all the shooting to
help round things out. After the day is over, you get to choose
your weapon loadout, assuming you have any, and you get a diary entry each day. And then it's back into the fire. Now, these survivors are a help,
but as you can see, none of them seem to have the initiative
I do as far as keeping these zombies back. I like the art style for this game. At first, I thought this was
done by David Firth. You can see how I got confused. If you don't know who he is, he's essentially trying to corner the
market on psychotic Flash cartoons. If your life is too normal and you're
just not disturbed enough being you, look up any of his videos and
he'll take care of you. I try to provide a few safety
barriers here on the Game Dungeon, but if you watch any of his videos, I can't
promise you won't be weirded to death. But, anyway, the survivors
are just padding. The moral of this story is if you rely ONLY
on other people to fix your zombie problems, you're going to die. Now, while you're shooting zombies, because
that's what we're going to be doing this episode, I want to address something, because I'm sure some of you have been groaning
and thinking, "Oh God! Not ANOTHER zombie game!" because you think the market is
saturated with zombies. Well, you know what? You're right. It IS saturated with zombies. You know how I know this?
Because a few years ago, I saw a zombie DLC pack released
for a train simulator. To me, that ends the debate. There's-- Yeah, see, this is just more
evidence that zom-- Wow, okay, that's enough zombie
train simulators... for THIS year. So, zombies are everywhere now. Zombies, zombies, zombies, zombies, zombies, zombies, zombies. So, if you're sick of them, I understand. But, at the same time, I love
the zombie survival theme. I first was exposed to it in a video
store where I rented Dawn of the Dead, knowing nothing about it and was
like, "Huh, that was pretty awesome." Then, in the 2000s onward,
mainstream culture went zombie crazy, and it's not showing
any signs of subsiding. So, I guess I liked zombies
before they were cool, and now that they are cool,
it's like a dream come true. Now, I don't like all things
zombie, believe me, but the more zombie content there is, the higher the chance
a good one will pop up. For example, this is great, and this is complete garbage. Great. Garbage. It's not even the
"killing zombies" part I like, which I guess is ironic,
because look at this. What I really like about zombies is that the
concept turns civilization upside down, so that all your priorities change. Oh, you don't have to get dressed and go
to work tomorrow, there's zombies outside. You don't have to worry about the rent this
month either, there are zombies outside. You don't have to do your taxes
or OBEY LAWS, there are zombies outside. It's just a cool scenario. The other thing I love about zombies is
that they're kind of ambiguous as an enemy. Oh, sure, you can stop one
zombie easily enough, but there's so many
and they JUST KEEP COMING! That adds a subtle creepiness level you
just don't get from other monsters. So, they're not just scary in
the immediate sense, but they're scary on an
existential level, too. And that's why I'm covering The
Last Stand, because, my God, these zombies JUST KEEP COMING! This is a great game to play if you
want to try and break your mouse. If you have a cheap $5 one, your mouse
may not survive the night, either. You're not hearing it in the video, but this is what it sounds like playing
while firing the semi-automatic weapons: [rapid clicking] [rapid clicking] [rapid clicking]
If anybody in the next room hears you [rapid clicking]
and asks what you're doing, [rapid clicking]
tell them you're doing [rapid clicking]
high-frequency stocks trading. [rapid clicking]
Maybe they'll leave you alone then. The difficulty on this
game is a little deceptive. If you're just starting out, this game
is hard and you might not make it. But, after a while, you'll figure out
different strategies that work best. The more survivors you have,
the easier this game gets. I do like how, as your
barricade starts to collapse, some of the survivors will
panic and run away. "No, c'mon! Where are you going?!
We've got this! C'mon! Stick with me! "We've got this! Come on back! I won't
tell anybody you left! It's cool!" DAMMIT! Some weapons are much,
MUCH better than others, though you can beat the game
with almost any of them. I've beaten this game with submachine
guns, shotguns, assault rifles, hunting rifles and the chainsaw. The chainsaw, especially, is the first
weapon you get that's a game ender. If you can't beat this game
once you find the chainsaw, you don't really have an excuse. I find this very calming. I wish I could solve all my
problems like this. Now, on the later levels, I get
some slowdown with the game. It's not because I'm recording;
this happens normally. It's using my GPU to accelerate the
game, too; it's even slower without it. I'm going to blame this
entirely on Adobe Flash. My system has enough power to
run Crysis at a playable speed, but, whoa! Trying to run a full screen
2D Flash game with a few dozen sprites? I'm not sure we'll ever invent a
computer fast enough to handle THAT! So, the game might be hard to
newcomers, but then it gets easy. But, if you want a challenge,
play this game solo. Don't look for one survivor;
do it all yourself like you're Robinson Crusoe in Zombieland. When I originally recorded this, I didn't
realize someone had actually written a Robinson Crusoe zombie book. I haven't read it so I can't endorse it, but once again, if you're sick
of zombies, I'm sorry. If you play this game solo, I can guarantee
you won't make it your first time through. You have to figure out
strategies that work. Your day planning becomes
monumentally important. You really just have to hold on
long enough to get the chainsaw. After that, you have no one to
blame but yourself. Unless, of course, you play as
the yoga contortionist expert... ...who's been gut shot
from the looks of things. This mode is especially hard as
you can't fire any weapons. I don't recommend playing this
way; that's not very fun. So, The Last Stand is an
enjoyable game. It's an intense,
nerve-wracking casual game. ...yeah, that sounds right. I give it a rating of Candy Corn, but like the movie Alien
or The Terminator, the original is good, but the
sequel is even better! That's right! They made The Last Stand 2,
so we're going to cover that... uh... too... Now, let's get the obvious out of the way and that's they picked the
wrong name for this series. You can't have a second Last Stand because
then the first one wasn't the last! I have the same issue with
Final Fantasy and Final Fight. It clearly wasn't the
FINAL Fantasy, was it?! And while I'm on the topic,
what the hell is this? Children of the Corn II:
The Final Sacrifice. You're putting the word
"final" in your first sequel? Oh, so, I guess no one else is going
to get sacrificed from now on, huh? Yeah, we don't care about words. Let's just make the sequel, right? Dammit. So, the story picks up
where the first left off. You were rescued by the military,
flying off in a helicopter at dawn. It's the same ending as Resident Evil. Sorry if that spoils things for anyone,
but that game's been out for 18 years, so you kind of had your chance. "That's it... It's over." "Safe at last." He's infected! Uh oh! That's the thing about a zombie virus--
it's the gift that keeps on giving. So, the pilot is attacked and you crash, but you're a hard ass,
so of course you survive. At least this military pilot has a good
excuse for crashing his chopper. Many don't even need a reason. So, the goals here are a little different. They're closing off the mainland and
the last transport out of here is in 40 days and you have to make it in time, otherwise,
you can call Zombieland your new home. Nobody really wants
to live in Zombieland. Now, we start and the first thing I
notice is this is already more intense. Zombies are running at me,
we have dogs from the start, and my barricade has less
hit points than before. Now, you might think all this
makes the game harder, but now you're rocking a beard
so that helps balance things out. Also, I realize he only had so
much time to set up a barrier, but if it was me, I think I
would try to close the door. I think the metal frame
would slow them down. So, after you put down the
first wave of madness, you have your day planning again. This is the biggest
change from the original. The repairs work the same, but instead
of designating what you search for, you search through specific buildings
and take whatever you can find. When you find survivors, you can equip
them with any extra weapons you have. You can only have four survivors this time,
but they pack more of a punch than before. It also hurts more when they
die. More on that in a minute. You can also get traps and place
them out to stop the zombies, but honestly, the traps didn't
make a huge difference to me. In most games, I don't use them
or I'll save them all for the end. Keep searching this area until
you find the chainsaw. It's not as good as the original
since the tank is half as large and takes way longer to refuel,
but it's still a frickin' chainsaw! Oh yeah! Now, after finding
enough food and supplies, you can leave the starting
town any time you want. That's right! You have multiple stops
this time on your road to salvation. You get choose where to go. Each area will have different
weapons and backgrounds. You can visit every location
if you want, but if you do, you're not going to make it out
in time, so you have to commit. It does seem like everywhere you go, zombies just run right
towards you every night. If it was me, I would try to find a different
place to stay after the first night. Like an attic or something. I mean, it's hard to imagine things
being MUCH worse than this. Just kidding! Of COURSE it
gets worse than this. For starters, the farther along you go,
the less durability your barricade has. It only gets worse from here. Also, remember how I said
your survivors can get killed? Well, you don't lose them
arbitrarily while searching now. Instead, some zombies
will just run right up and slice their fucking
head with a machete! Ouch! I guess the zombies have a little
bit of muscle memory left in them. This only increases the paranoia, because, now in addition
to your barricade, you start eying any zombies
holding a weapon. I'll even get nervous about reloading,
because, if I do it at the wrong time, that COULD be the moment a zombie
runs up to kill my hapless survivors. Shit! The Last Stand really gives you
a sense of trying to hang on. Every day you're busting your
ass and you're just barely getting by. I can really relate to this
game. This is what life is like. Except, instead of zombies,
you have problems. Some are going to stagger
towards you slowly-- so slowly you HOPE someone else
will take care of them, but others are going to ran at
you, relentless and screaming, trying to tear down your tiny
junk fort that's not much, but it's the only sanctuary you have against
the unending madness that is outside. And these zombies stack up! I mean, early on, if you're good enough, you can take them all out before
they even reach your fort. But, later, it's a CERTAINTY
that they're going to start tearing apart
everything you have and you'll just have to pray YOU CAN
SHOOT THEM DEAD BEFORE THEY CAN GET IN AND JUST MAKE IT THROUGH THE NIGHT! OH GOD! YOU NEED MORE TIME! YOU JUST NEED MORE TIME! [crying] You know, I thought this was
going to be a game review, but the reality is, this is more
of an interpretive autobiography. If you ever wanted to know what a day
in my life feels like, go play this game. It wasn't always like this and I think
after we clear out some more zombies, it'll get a lot better, but it
sure is taking a while. "There's something going on with them
now. They're getting faster and stronger. "They're saying that they
should die off eventually, "but it just doesn't seem
to be happening." Couldn't have said it better myself. I should take this opportunity to
apologize to anyone who's emailed me and I haven't replied yet. I want to reply to everyone and
I would go do it right now except THESE ZOMBIES KEEP COMING! If I go type up some emails, they're going
to tear down this wall in under a minute, You think these other people are
going to keep them back? Really? Look at them. Look at this guy. "Tired. Can't write. Taking
down fat zombie guys all day." Story of my life! Now, this game is hard. Under normal conditions,
I frequently can't beat it. However, there is hope. My advice is get to Aspenwood and keep
searching until you find the hunting rifle, and never let go. It doesn't look like it but this is
arguably the best weapon in the game. It often stops zombies in one shot; sometimes it takes out
more than one at a time. And while you reload after each shot, it's
short enough that you can fire constantly without having to worry
about your reload time. I'm serious in that I think this
is better than the AK-47 or the M4. I can reliably beat the game
once I have this rifle. The only thing it can't save you from
is Adobe Flash--the hidden enemy. On these later levels, it really
likes to take a crap on my system and that's WITH the bodies fading,
something the first one didn't do as much of. I'll have to check back in 10 years
and see if this game is STILL too slow. Well, the madness can only go on
for so long and eventually you make it. Here's the end you've all been waiting for. You make it to Union City and
now it's "Safe at last." "It's finally over." The last Last Stand. I think they could've
done a little more and given us a little cutscene of him getting
on the boat, but hey, it's something. So, The Last Stand 2
is a really solid game. It still is a casual game, but I
feel like, if they could expand this and add a few more mechanics, you can have a first-rate zombie
survival experience going on here. I give it a rating of
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. So, I guess that about wraps
this up, except for one thing: they made ANOTHER sequel: The Last Stand - Union City. Well, I'm excited about this because
The Last Stand 2 was so good. Plus, I'm not claiming to be a
psychic or anything, but I just had the feeling that
Union City wasn't completely safe. It was just a vibe I was getting. So, let's hop right in. Now, there's two main modes: a hardcore
"Survivor" mode and "Run & Gun". Well, since I'm just starting out, I'll do the basic version so I can
get a handle on the gameplay first. Heh. "Mario Nelson".
Sounds good to me. All right, now you get to pick what
your character looks like this time. Well, I wanted to look like the guy
I've been playing the last two games. We have seen some shit! Well, it doesn't look exactly
like him but this will have to do. "Occupation". I have no idea. I guess I'll go with "cop". A cop is always a useful occupation
to have if the apocalypse is going on. So, I'll be a cop sporting
a lumberjack beard. I guess my department is extra lenient. And here we go. The graphics are looking good.
Good mood building. Some guy driving alone
at night in the forest. Hey, I made a video that
starts out this way! Okay, I'm going to have to plug
my own video: Stranger in Need. It's on the same channel as this one and it's a Halloween bonus if you
haven't seen it already. And now it's time for
Attack of the Flash Slowdown! Whoops! Okay, well, my character is
acting like a cop already, by fiddling with too many things
at the same time he's driving. Cops get in car accidents all
the time because of distracted driving. I am not joking; you can look it up. I mean, they're trying to navigate
where to go, talking to Dispatch, drinking their coffee,
looking for anything suspicious, cops were getting into wrecks like
this before we even invented cell phones. So, now we start the game. As you can see, the format
of the game has changed. It's now a side-scrolling action RPG, sort of like Legend of Zelda II. Definitely a genre-shift, but
hey, this could be really cool. We might have a real game on our
hands this time and not just a casual one. We have an inventory, skills, stats...
this is looking like the real deal. Good, now I can attack. I'm sure a tire iron is all
I need to survive the apocalypse. Now I am seeing some slowdown which is a
bad sign, but not a lot I can do about that. Okay, let's keep moving to the next area. Trick or treat! Okay, time to explain some things. I've been playing these games on
a standalone Flash player because it gives me more options,
has less overhead than a web browser and I resent any game that MAKES me
connect to a central server in order to play it. This will NOT be the last
time I talk about this, but the short version is, while
having to be online is just a nuisance, what I HATE is that any game that MAKES you
connect to a central server is on life support. The day the company decides to pull
the plug, unless somebody hacks it, that game is gone forever. That's because almost NO companies
EVER give players a way to play the game after they've killed the server. So, it pisses me off whenever I
see one that FORCES it. Well, Union City is giving me a
hard time in more ways than one. First, the updated version tries
to FORCE me online for no reason. Look at this shit! Wow!
What a great update! So, I'm playing the older
version, but when I do that, it breaks full screen support at
this point in the game. And the new one won't even run!
What the hell?! This is a dark, moody zombie game! I want to play this at night with all the
lights off so I can get immersed in it. And not only is the game trying
to force me online, but it doesn't give
me a full screen option! Something I COULD force
in the previous games. This is what a game looks like
in a browser on their official site. Gee, what a great experience! I love the solid white contrast against
the nighttime lighting. This is such bullshit. Why would they put so much
time and effort into the game only to have an oversight this large? Yeah, we want you play our game,
but we don't want you to enjoy it. I've tried two web browser plugins that
claim to make Flash games full screen. Neither one worked for this game. I can sort of increase the magnification
size to get the picture bigger, but this is horseshit!
I shouldn't have to do this, and even then, it's still not full screen! It's me bumbling around with some stupid
white border that my eyes can't adjust to, Flash slowing down like
a bug stuck in glue, and it forcing me to
connect to their server! THAT'S IT! THE REVIEW OF
THIS GAME IS OVER! UNION CITY CROSSES
MY BULLSHIT THRESHOLD! I'm not going to play a game that
resists me trying to enjoy it THIS much! It's a shame because,
based on my initial impressions, this looks like it could be really good. But, I guess I'll never know because
of bullshit business decisions on their part. I give Union City a rating of a
box of liquor-flavored truffles, except the box is empty. There's nothing inside it. Somebody
opened it and I can't find the truffles. So, I guess that's the last
of the... Last Stand series. It started off strong,
got better, but th-- Wait, what's this?
The Last Stand - Dead Zone? Yep, they made ANOTHER sequel, making this a quadrilogy. The last-last-last Last Stand. Well, this time, I'm
wary of what's in store, seeing as how much they
kneecapped Union City. And my fears are well-founded,
this one doesn't fuck around. Not only do you have
to be online to play it, but they require you to
register on their site. Again, this is just an annoyance, but all I can think about is the
day they're going to shut this off and there's nothing left of this game. So, I jump through their hoops like
a good hamster, and finally launch it. Well, when I started recording
the video for this review, I was afraid THIS was as
far as I was going to get. I was able to log in before, but
when I tried to log in while recording, it would just stall like this
again and again and again. I left it running for an hour.
It didn't matter. This is one of the status windows
that lies to you, saying it's connecting, whereas the reality is,
if you see this, you will NEVER connect
unless you start over. What a perfect example of
the extra layer of bullshit that comes with having an
online-only game. But, lucky for you guys, eighth
time's the charm and I got to log in. What a privilege. Well, the first positive thing I'll say
about it is it has a full screen option! Too bad they couldn't
add that to Union City. If only there was some way to
update an online game. Sadly, that's impossible, but at
least they got it right here. Now, my first impression is that,
visually, it looks a lot like Fallout. And it's also very complex. Just from poking around, I can gather
this game involves building structures to support different
needs of your survivors, managing your squad, their
inventory and their stats, fulfilling assignments, crafting
items, purchasing items, going on recon missions, invasions,
some city management elements... DAMN! There's a lot going on here! I mentioned earlier how The Last Stand 2
could use just a little more depth, but I think they might've gone overboard here. As for the genre,
I guess you would this an MMO-City-and-Resource-Management-Tactical-
Strategy-Action-RPG-Crafting-Sim game. Jesus Christ! Now, I'm not against complex
games with a real learning curve, but I feel like, the more
complex a game is, the more it has to sell me on
the idea of playing it. Well, there's certainly
some "selling" going on here. From playing earlier, I found that
you needed fuel for almost everything. Like, I had to build a workbench.
That took some fuel. If you want a place to
sleep, some more fuel. "Get more fuel". "Save resources - Use fuel!" "Get fuel now". Everywhere you go, fuel, fuel, fuel. Also, from the beginning screen, I'm noticing the game is awfully
eager to steer me towards options to either spend or buy more fuel. Is this much fuel really necessary? Are we running a go-kart track? How about just some elbow grease instead? Now, to be fair, some of this is to be
expected with a free-to-play game. They make money by making the game a
little easier, having some more options, or having some cosmetic changes. This isn't always that
big of deal, but... [sniffing] Do you smell that? [sniffing] I think I smell a pay wall! Like, I want to clean up
some junk in my fort. Okay, that's going to take
SIX HOURS of real time to do. But, hey, speed things up!
Buy some fuel! Does this remind you of something? It does to me! This is FarmVille! They turned this into Zombie
Survival FarmVille! FarmVille uses psychological tactics like making you wait until the
next day to progress in the game. There's research behind that. The idea is that if they can artificially
force you to play the game just a little bit each day
instead of binging, it becomes more habit-forming and
they trick you to being addicted to it. Well, that crap doesn't work on
me! It just pisses me off! I would say this is anti-consumer,
but really, it's anti-gamer. This is not something you do to
make a better game. This is what you do to wring
money out of suckers. Well, how much does fuel cost, anyway? They have convenient
price scaling, of course. Well, I have no idea how much
fuel I really need. But, holy crap! $100 in fuel?! You know what? This is NOT my idea
of what a $100 game looks like. I mean, I've never bought one, but this is more in line with what
I would expect of a $100 game. An art book, a soundtrack,
some little figurines or trinkets. Some nice extras to make
the game more memorable. Now, some of these I'm
showing cost more than $100, but here's one I KNOW
was $100 when it came out. That's right. You can get this
for less than $40 now. I checked. And, hey, even with this, you get a Duke bust,
playing cards, art book, a comic book... you're getting more value for
your money with Duke Nukem Forever than with this game.
So what does that say? But, hey, maybe I'm off base. Maybe you
don't need to spend that much on fuel. So, before getting deeper into the game,
I decided to get a second opinion. Well, I looked up a review and
found some interesting comments. "To gain significant process in
the game, you need to purchase fuel. "It's not that there isn't enough
to do in this massive world, "it's that you have to buy your
way through it. "You'll need more than a one-time purchase
of $100 to make substantial progress." Holy crap! "You either wait endlessly through the
zombie apocalypse or go broke trying." Wow. That tells me all I need to know. I'm not playing this game either, for completely different
reasons than Union City. You know what this means? It means
The Last Stand series is a long con! This is what they were
leading up to! They try to hook
you on the early games, force you to play online later, then move in for the kill with Dead Zone. Man! I admit, when I saw this was
made by Con Artists Productions, I thought they were
just being stylish. I didn't suspect that this game
was LITERALLY made by con artists! Like, my homepage is Accursed Farms,
but that's just a name I made up. I don't actually live on a farm
with fallow earth and possessed cows and a sentient scarecrow like in that
one Scary Stories book... not yet anyway. But, yeah. Trick or treat, motherfuckers. Oh, I KNOW I haven't contributed! And, to top it off,
I could not for the life of me figure out how to exit to the main
screen once I entered the map screen. I'm serious, I tried
every button I could find. So, that's The Last Stand series. I give Dead Zone a rating of Apples
with Razor Blades Hidden Inside Them. Well, I hate to end this on a
down note, but I got tricked this time. So, as a final treat, here's something
I skipped in The Last Stand 2. If you decide you don't care about
the end and just want to go native, you can choose to skip being rescued
and take a detour into a military base to get some REAL firepower instead. And there you have it! I am now king of the zombies! None shall oppose me! All shall recognize my undisputed authority
as I forge this land into my own vision! I arrived late and the bombs
dropped but I don't care! This is my world now! The end! That's it! Happy Halloween! Remember, if people come
running to your door, don't shoot them. They're
probably just trick-or-treaters. You could go to prison for that. [rock music] [gunfire] Two at once?! Are you kidding me?! Well, that's it! The zombies won! The zombies won!
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Video Description
Ross tries to withstand the horrors of The Last Stand in this Halloween episode!
ADHD Version
Happy Halloween! More Freeman’s Mind coming!
I plays the first three last stands years ago when they first came out and loved them so this was a awesome Halloween treat. I was really sad he couldn't cover Union City as that was my favorite but it's understandable, and I didn't even know the fourth one existed, but seriously, fuck that one.