[Subtitles by danielsangeo] Hey! Welcome to the Game Dungeon. This episode we're going to be
doing everything different compared to a lot of other episodes. We're covering a super-mainstream
game that's not that old. And, on top of that, this is
actually a fan request because I got a lot of emails saying,
"Ross, please review 'Wolfenstein'." Well, today your wish is granted because
that's what we're going to be covering. "Wolfenstein" is a first-person shooter. If you didn't know that, you must be new
to the world of video games. It's okay. Now, I did some research and,
chronologically, this game is a sequel to
"Wolfenstein 3D". It is NOT a direct sequel to
"Return to Castle Wolfenstein" which, apparently, was a
prequel to "Wolfenstein 3D" which, of course, was, I think, a reboot of "Castle Wolfenstein" and
"Beyond Castle Wolfenstein". Confused, yet? Well, this is a game about shooting Nazis. That's
all you really need to know. So, let's get started. So, the game starts off and our
intrepid hero, B.J. Blazkowicz, is aboard a German warship,
kicking ass as usual. Oh, and it's worth noting that
B.J. has apparently dyed his hair again since, in "Wolfenstein 3D",
his hair was red, but in "Return to Castle Wolfenstein",
his hair became brown. And now, I think it's flat-out black. And I haven't played it, but from what I've
seen of the "Wolfenstein" game after this, he's settled on sort of a blond. Anyway, we have some
good action going on here, but then after escaping from
multiple shots fired, he swings around to
other part of the boat, then... just decides to take his
time... to slowly get into a fistfight. Look, he even puts on a cocky smirk, like he's completely forgotten
that he's alerted the entire ship and needs to get out of there
as soon as possible. No, let's just take our sweet time. Now watch as he overacts like
this is a stupid sitcom. Body language is important, people. I'm not sure the animators
understood what Blazkowicz is all about. So, it looks like the game's
over before it's begun, but then he pulls out a
medallion and... Whoa, that's handy. Holy shit...! So this medallion has the powers of
the bullet stop from "Matrix Reloaded" and can skelatize Nazis like the
Ark of the Covenant. Yes, B.J., don't show a look of
amazement, don't show a look of relief, show your stupid fucking smirk
again, because, remember, this
is a sitcom. I realize I'm griping
about this an awful lot, but one of my pet peeves is
showing unrealistic human behavior. No matter how fantastic your
world is, people are still people, so if our protagonist is behaving
like a poorly-written cartoon, that's not a great sign. But, let's give this the benefit
of the doubt. Sometimes cinematics like this are done by
different people than the rest of the developers. So, after our boat intro,
we get a briefing that there's another medallion
like this out in the wild, and B.J. needs to follow up
a lead on it. I do find it kind of funny that
both the superior officer, who obviously works at a desk, and his orderly both have big
football player builds. Like, I don't know what this
organization even does, but you're not getting in it unless you
also qualify for heavyweight boxing. So, besides that, we find out
that Himmler's Paranormal Trooper Division is up to their old tricks so
we'll need to be on guard. And with that, we begin the game. Well, looks all right so far.
I like the lighting. And here is my contact. ["I'm with the Kreisau Circle. Come with
me. Your cover is already blown here."] Of COURSE my cover is blown. Like there was any doubt whatsoever I was going to have to shoot my
way out of this situation. All right, one of the first
things I noticed about this game is the aiming feels floaty. It's not THAT
bad, but everything feels a little loose. This isn't that big a deal for this game, but I find it kind of amazing that we're
still having problems with mouse aiming. I mean, Quake 1, as in 1996 Quake,
had GREAT mouse aiming. But, here we are in 2009,
still trying to figure it out. Also, I noticed the sensitivity
on the horizontal plane is much higher than the vertical one. In theory, this makes it
easier to hit enemies, but in practice, it makes the game harder
if they're on higher ground or beneath you. It would've been nice for them to give
us the option to tweak that individually, but that's just me with my old
school way of thinking. So, we get escorted down some sewers,
and, this is just a guess on my part, but I think this is the developer wanting to
show off that they have good water effects. "Whoo-hoo! Check out the water,
everybody! We got water! Water for days!" Water is traditionally a real
pain-in-the-ass to look good in 3D, so I think they just wanted to show off. I also discover a secret. One cool thing about this game is the
secrets you find have some payoff. Later on, you use money
you find to mod weapons. I like this. It's a little bit of RPG flavor
without having to go headlong. All right, I have a question for everybody,
but especially to any Germans or people that have lived in Germany. What do you think of this guy's accent? [heavy accent]
["Agent Blazkowicz, I'm Erik Engle. ["I work with the Kreisau Circle. Listen. ["We don't have long. There are
Nazis fanning out through the station."] Does that a native-born German
freedom fighter to you? To me, it sounds a little too sterile,
but I'd like to get a second opinion. Anyway, we'll come back to this. Just be thinking about these accents
any time you hear someone speak. ["Grab some weapons from
this table and fall in."] Okay, so we have a gun but,
nope, not time to shoot yet. Turns out, besides gold, you can
find intelligence reports as well. I have to say, though, while I
like this concept, I listened to dozens of these and I don't remember a single one
that was funny or interesting. They're all really mundane, like, "Be sure to have your men
double-check the lock to the warehouse door "because I saw your patrol
skip a check last night." Okay... who cares? This was a high-profile game. If you're going to write something down
to have hundreds of thousands of players discover and listen to it, maybe
you should have something to say. All right, enough of this crap.
We're done reading and sneaking around. I'm B.J. fuckin' Blazkowicz!
Light 'em up! The combat's good. I like it. Enemies go down with a couple shots,
have good physics and animations and the headshots are
particularly satisfying. Honestly, I don't know what it is, but these headshots are some of
the best I've seen. Now, the guns don't seem powerful because there's not much recoil
and the gunshot volume isn't very loud, but they ARE powerful. You can cut Nazis up good with these. Now, some of you will laugh at this, but this is actually the first
game I've played with regenerating health
and NO health meter. I mean, I have played games with
regenerating shields before, but I never played a straight-up shooter
where you don't have a visible health meter and it all comes back automatically. When I first played this, I was
getting nervous because I thought, "That guy shot me; how much health
did I lose? Why won't the game tell me?" I didn't realize that I had ALL my health
back once the screen became clear again because it was a foreign
concept to me at the time. I think it works when it's done right. I mean, it's no less realistic
than finding health packs. I mean, except for some
hardcore military games, the entire first-person shooter genre depends on you being able to
heal up instantly after being shot. Doesn't quite work that way in reality. Now, it doesn't take long before I realize
this game is trying to teach me something. And that is, it wants me
to WALK, not run. Maybe it's not so bad watching this video, but running in this game
gives me a headache. It likes to BOB THE CAMERA,
BACK AND FORTH! BOOP A DEE DOOP DAH
BLEEEHGH! So, I'm not going to be doing a
lots of quick movements and impressive maneuvers in this video. I am going to be playing this game
like I am carrying a machine gun tripod and eighty pounds worth of
troop gear on my back. Unless there's a live grenade next
to me, I'm not going to be running much. You don't even run that fast, either. This game does NOT want you to run. So, my brothers-in-arms keep
taking down these Nazis, but at one point, the leader has
something important to tell me. ["B.J., we need you defending us
with the MG42."] What? Did you say something? ["B.J., we need you defending us
with the MG42."] I-I didn't catch that, what? ["B.J., we need you defending us
with the MG42."] Okay, I heard "B.J." I didn't
catch the rest of it. ["B.J., we need you defending us
with the MG42."] Oh, the gun. You want me to use it? ["B.J., man the machine gun and
take out the incoming--"] Yeah, yeah. You don't
have to tell me twice. And, as I feared, this mouse
sensitivity is a problem. It takes SO much effort to aim
UP to hit the guys on the catwalk. So, I gun some more Nazis, then
decide I'm not causing enough trouble, so I bomb a railway car. Whoa! Don't see that every day! So, this continues off and on. I get some zero-G fighting in.
The Nazis aren't very good at it. And that's the level pretty much. Okay, now listen to this part of
the report afterwards. ["...carried some unusual munitions
that cancelled gravity when detonated. ["Everything floated to the ceiling."] His tone here is,
"Huh. That's a little weird." Now, I realize B.J. isn't a scientist,
but I would expect even a soldier to recognize that never
in the history of ANYTHING have we EVER been able to just
turn off gravity like that. I know I'm expecting too much of
this game, but come on! They're giving me this fantastic
visual display that bends reality, and all the protagonist says is, "Huh." Now, it would be one thing if the game was
trying to be corny and tongue-in-cheek, but it doesn't quite go there. Instead, the dialogue's
just sort of... bad. Next, we start wandering through
the town hub to meet the local resistance. Again, I like the lighting in this game. I've seen some people complain
about the graphics but I don't have any issues with them. When I first played this, however, it was IMPOSSIBLE to enable anti-aliasing for
this game. I remember that pissed me off. But, now that we're in the
future, I'm able to strong-arm it and it makes the game look much cleaner. So, yeah, this game gets a
thumbs up from me on graphics. Well... most of the time anyway. Now, most of the game is linear
except for this town hub area. Unfortunately, this town is kind of a maze. And, as you may know, I am not a
fan of mazes in first-person shooters. They do give you a map but
everything kind of looks the same. So, I finally meet the resistance and...
now let's talk about the voice acting. Here is Caroline Becker,
the leader of the resistance. ["Agent Blazkowicz, the Kreisau
Circle thanks you for your assistance ["at the train station.
But we can't help you here. ["We're busy as it is freeing Isenstadt."] Boy, does she sound like a
native-born German or what? To me, this is obviously an American
woman trying to sound like a German. And it is. The voice actress was
born in Tennessee. Maybe I'm being too picky here,
but this is "WOLFENSTEIN"! The whole damned game is set in Germany! Hey, here's a crazy idea! What if we were to get some
actual English-speaking Germans to do the voices of... I don't
know... the GERMANS?! Now, I realize the developing
company is located in Wisconsin, so traveling to Germany
probably wasn't in the cards, but maybe they could've
contacted a studio in Germany and had online recording
sessions with the director. No! Screw that! Let's get a bunch
of American Hollywood actors instead because that's all we
know how to do, right? Hey, riddle me this: why do
SO MANY big budget games feel like they need to hire
Hollywood actors? That's a good use of your money, right, especially since you can't see their faces
in the vast majority of video games? I mean, unless the actor has a
really distinctive voice, I'd rather hear some no-name actors
who are going to give it their best, and have the movie star money go
towards fixing bugs or more content instead. And this game was cutting corners, too. You can hear the same voice actor
on three different characters in a row! ["It's good to see someone finally
strike back against General Zetta. ["We've already had several civilians ["join the Kreisau Circle
because of your victory."] ["What in the world could the
Nazis be building at the church?"] ["Caroline says you're here to
spy on General Zetta. ["I've seen his eyes.
That man is pure evil."] Yeah, that's some great
casting right there. Anyway, we next set out
to an archaeological dig site where the Germans have discovered
another one of those medallions. Well, that last one looked like it was
enough to end the war in Europe so we'd better intercept this one. Okay, now, I'm sure there are
plenty of other examples besides this, but I can't remember the last time I saw
a game copy another one THIS much. This level wants to be the Doom 3
expansion "Resurrection of Evil" SO badly. Let's go down the list: we have
an archaeological dig site set inside a cavern with floodlights and
explosive barrels all over the place. Check. We have the ruins of an
ancient unknown civilization that has weird runes and alien-looking
sculptures all over the place. Check. We have a mysterious powerful artifact that can be upgraded to have
four distinct abilities that you have to obtain by defeating
bosses throughout the game-- abilities which include: slowing
down time, more powerful attacks, and protection from enemies. Check. A series of traps designed by
the ancient civilization that you need the time-slowing
function from your newly acquired artifact in order to get through. Check. Nazis. Check. Some giant portal that you don't get
to go through until MUCH later. Check. Wow. I'm impressed, "Wolfenstein".
You are not holding back. Really, this whole game is
extremely derivative. I lost track of the influences. We have some "Indiana Jones", "Prey"... somebody could write a paper on the
number of things this game borrows from others. It's an analyst's playground. So, yeah, we get a magical
artifact that let's us see into the Veil, an alternate reality beneath our own. Definitely reminds me of some
Lovecraft concepts here, and it looks like "Soul Reaver".
Both of these games love their teal, huh? Boy, in gaming, companies have decided, if you're going to show the
spirit world, it better be teal. I don't know how many
games I've seen this in; "Soul Reaver",
"Titan Quest: Immortal Throne", I think I saw of screenshot of
it in "Darksiders", maybe in "World of Warcraft", I forget. But, yeah, hope you like teal. Okay, I know I'm in the minority opinion here, but I don't really WANT all
these extra abilities. I mean, we're basically talking
about magic now. I never really like mixing magic
with guns and explosives, because, to me, guns are kind of
like a superpower already. You squeeze a trigger and some
guy is gushing blood. Magic! You get an assault rifle in this game. Unless I have to fight a tank or a mech
or something, that's good. That's all I need. Adding magic on top of
guns and explosives feels like adding syrup and honey
and sprinkles and powdered sugar and MORE ice cream on top of
your ice cream sandwich. For me, that's too much.
Just give me some bullets. Damn straight! And if that's not enough, I feel
like the game is working against itself, because, in general, the
lighting in this game is great. So, instead of scenic, war-torn Europe,
more teal! Teal in your face! All the time, teal! The rest of
the color spectrum can go to Hell! It ruins the pretty good art direction and it discouraged me from using
the ability except when I had to. So, anyway, now I'm Super Medallion Man, I come back to town and shoot some
more Nazis and get another assignment. Also, I run out of ammo for my
assault rifle, which makes me sad, but then I realize that I've been
overthinking the combat in this game. I've been playing on "Hurt Me Plenty"
with aim assistance off, so I've been approaching these fights
semi-conservatively, like I don't want to be shot. But I really should've just been spraying
everywhere like I'm in an '80s action movie. It works! Y'know, I was railing on the
writing and voice acting earlier, but there was one part here I love. At one part, I check in
on the secret society where one member helped
me get the medallion earlier, and I could hear a
superior talking to him. ["I cannot believe you
would be so foolhardy, ["giving a strange American
the knocks on Kriege's door." ["I understand your objection,
but from what I've heard, ["he may be our only hope in
fighting off the Nazis." ["Ahh, all right. You did as well
I'd expect for someone so young."] Man, I love that. It's just a quick
line, but his voice conveys everything. I sympathize with him. It's like he's saying, "I don't
blame you. I blame myself. "I should've known better for ever
thinking you wouldn't fuck everything up. "This is the price we pay for my optimism." I've been there. Look at this thing!
Now THERE is a desk ornament. They should've sold models of
this for a special edition or something. So, after that, I do some side-mission
that has... no real substance at all. I should mention this AI isn't very good, but it can be kind of hilarious since there
are Nazis running at me all the time. Sometimes, it almost feels like the
Nazi-equivalent of the "Keystone Kops". But then, on the flipside, you have
a few guys that will be SO dangerous, they really wake you up. I have to admit, this part of
the game almost made me jump. WHOA! Somebody's got an express
package from the Führer for me! So, after a LOT more town wandering,
I go on a mission to the church because there's a giant teal
beam shooting out of it. That's probably not normal. Wow, good thing that didn't hurt ME any. I guess that's the
limitation of scripted sequences. Hey, I found an invisible wall. Ah, okay, I discovered the
reinforcements' spawn. That breaks the immersion somewhat, but if
the developers didn't want me finding that, then they shouldn't have been hiding
gold in every little crevice in the game. These are both in the same building. Despite looking cool, this is my
least favorite area so far, just because all the wreckage makes
it hard to figure out where to go. I can't say that bombed out
towns aren't realistic, but I don't think realism was
this game's priority. It's worth mention that this is another
game I've never completed before. I remember not looking forward
to this level in particular. At one point, the game was bugged and it told me I needed to go to
a specific location, when really I needed to go to a different
area in order to trigger the event. Don't get me wrong,
this isn't a bad game, but I kept finding myself
returning to that phrase. "Yeah, it's not bad", which
feels weird when you say that over and over about something. Like this gameplay isn't
bad but it's not great. The visuals I think are pretty good--
like look at this area; this is gorgeous. But this is only when we're NOT
looking at mundane drab interiors. So, again, not bad. The music-- [orchestral music] Most of it is pretty throwaway, but there's
one or two tracks that stand out a little more. [bombastic orchestral music] Hm. Is that the "Ark of the
Covenant" theme I hear? So, the music is "not bad". There are some things
that ARE bad, though. Like, I got so sick of hearing
the Nazis shout corny dialogue. ["Hands up!"] ["Grenade!"] One especially. "That man is a spy!"
I must have heard this fifty times. ["That man is a spy!"] ["That man is a spy!"] ["That man is a spy!"] ["That man is a spy!"] ["That man is a spy!"] ["That man is a spy!"] Okay, first of all, I think I'm probably the
most wanted person in town at this point, if not all of Germany. I'm acting
like a commando, not a spy. Second, "Wolfenstein", if you're going to
repeat the same phrases over and over again, you don't have any problems
ripping off other games, how about ripping off "F.E.A.R."? They repeat the same phrases, but
they make sense and don't get so old. "He's trying to flank!"
"Left side!" "I'm hit!" "Fall back!" You know, stuff you might hear
in any battle? Third, I feel this is SO obvious,
yet here I am talking about it, how about having Nazis that
speak in German? I'd like to reemphasize. This
game takes place in GERMANY! Actually, I think I know why. I think none
of the voice actors even KNOW any German, but we've already talked about that. So, I defeat some possessed some SS officer, then it's back to more town wandering. I don't actually hate the town backtracking
since the combat is still kind of fun; it's just getting a little old. It kind of breaks the immersion when the
exact same areas keep being repopulated for the exact same battles over and over. It's not a big deal but it's
not helping things any. Next, we head to a countryside level. This is my favorite one in the game. I realize it probably wasn't on
the table in terms of game design, but I would've loved to have half the game
wandering across the German countryside full of more open-spaced
tactical battles like this. See, this is great. While you're in a
farmhouse, a truck full of Nazis roll up and there's fifty different ways
you can handle this situation. I really think the game
should've had more levels like this. RAAAAAAAAA! Unfortunately, it doesn't last long and you
soon discover there's a GIANT secret base leading directly beneath the farmhouse. This looks awesome but for
reasons I'm not even sure of, the game started feeling
like a slog at this point. This is the level I originally gave up
on in the game. I'm not sure exactly why. I mean, this base area looks amazing. But, I think maybe it's because
they kept leading me through these snaking boring corridors. Anyway, I kept pushing ahead
and it's mostly a bunch of stuff I've already seen in a lot of
other first-person shooters, but just doesn't have the same punch. I mean, it's not like
there are OTHER games where you enter a facility full
of escaping mutants which blows up and starts filling with water while you
have to backtrack all the way out again. Ooh, wait... So, the destruction is pretty impressive, but something about this game
just isn't driving me to keep going. Okay, it's time I finally addressed
the elephant in the room and that's the name. "Wolfenstein". Look, I'm not stupid. I know all those
requests were really for "Wolfenstein 3D", and they just said
"Wolfenstein" for short, but this just goes to prove a point that this is a horrible name
for a franchise sequel. I mean, here are all the "Wolfenstein"
games currently known. There's probably going to be more.
I mean, this is a successful franchise and it's not like there was any
shortage of fighting during World War II. Technically, this is the
seventh game in the series. Why the hell would you
just name it "Wolfenstein"? Now this is not the worst offender. I think "Prince of Persia"
might've even outdone them where they had a reboot of successful
games going with clear distinguishing titles, then BAM! Name the next one
"Prince of Persia" even though it's NOT
a remake of the original. There was an awful lot of this
crap going on around this time. I think that games might've
been trying to copy Hollywood, like they know what they're doing. Now, I'm cynical and I have a
theory as to why this happened. My theory is that this is the
equivalent of marketing steroids, because they take a well-known game like
"Wolfenstein 3D" or "Sonic the Hedgehog", and they think, "Hey, this name
is all over the Internet. "If we just name our new,
different game after the original, "we'll get maximum publicity. "Never mind the fact that this is a series
and there will likely be games after this "and this will only cause confusion. "No! We're going to market this game like
there will NEVER BE ANOTHER ONE MADE! "Because we live in the PRESENT and
NEVER think about the past or the future." I think this is the result of
marketers who do not give a flying shit about the game they're marketing. Somebody tell me I'm wrong. This makes it a real pain-in-the-ass trying
to look up information on this game, too. It's a disgrace because it's SO OBVIOUS
what the real title should've been called. This is "Wolfenstein: Black Sun". That's what this alternate dimension is
called, they must say the name fifty times, it's what the whole plot is about. I mean, I think they would've liked
that better than my other suggestions. Okay, I'm worked up over this so
let's finish complaining about the marketing. Look at this game's cover. Yes, it's not awful, but this
looks so uninspired. Okay, a closeup of a ghostly skeleton Nazi.
They're giving me zero context with this. I can make this cover just by
taking a screenshot and zooming in. Let's compare this with
"Wolfenstein 3D", shall we? Now, HERE is a game cover! This
is an "America, Fuck Yeah!" game cover! I'm not even going to analyze
this; this cover says everything. So, back to the game.
After blowing up the Nazi base, I head back into town and go
through the same battles again. Honestly, this reminds me of a
play rehearsal. We're both going through the
same battles at the same roadblocks and we're just sort of in a
groove with it by now. Not really thinking about it too much. You might think this would be
pissing me off, but no, not at all. I have to be emotionally invested in
a game in order to get angry with it. And that's a real problem for me
with "Wolfenstein". I have to tell you, I was really
ready to give up at this point. It wasn't obvious from the start at all, but this feeling was creeping in
that made me not care about the game. Coming back to the base does not help. ["Your latest success has really
impressed everyone here. ["Some agents have even asked if
they could go on missions with you. Heh. ["But Caroline won't let them. I
don't think she completely trusts you yet, ["but she will soon--"] Oh, she doesn't trust me yet, huh? Wow, this is some GREAT writing. I'm B.J. Blazkowicz! I've killed
300 fucking Nazis in this game alone! That's not good enough for her?! Hey, this is the sequel to
"Wolfenstein 3D". Did you tell her I killed Hitler?!
I killed Adolf fucking Hitler?! I put a bullet in his head as he
was facing me down with twin chainguns. What does she want?
Does she need me to kill TWO Hitlers? In fact, what's going on here?!
Who's in charge now? Hey, game? Could you
give us at least a sentence as to what's happening with the
war now that Hitler's dead? I mean, that's kind of a big deal. So, I push forward some more,
now into the hospital. It's a bunch more copy-paste
corridors. Oh boy. But wait! I also get invisible
assassins to deal with. Yeah, this is great. Don't you love it
when you have invisible enemies in a game? Everybody loves that, right? Y'know, even bland corridors like this
don't HAVE to make the game bad. I've mentioned it already, but
once again, look at "F.E.A.R." It's full of dull-looking hallways, but
that game is so damned visceral. Weapons feel powerful as hell, plaster dust
and chunks of the wall fly off everywhere; it completely transforms the environment. "Wolfenstein" doesn't really have that. Now we get to the level boss and
it's essentially the monster from "SiN" without his little buddy riding up top. I manage to kill him and get a nice
cutscene showing the Black Sun dimension. It looks pretty cool, although I'm tired of
them smearing teal green over everything. In fact, I hate to say it but
I'm tired of this game. I knew this was going to happen
in an episode eventually but I'm sorry. I'm giving
up on this game. It just feels so not worth it. I looked it up and I'm only
halfway through. I wasn't entirely sure why, but this game
just gave me no motivation to keep playing it. This is such a weird disconnect
for me because looking at the evidence, this game should be pretty good. We have good combat, nice
visuals, Giger-ish statues, an alternate Lovecraft dimension,
giant secret bases, Nazis everywhere, this SHOULD be a pretty awesome
game, shouldn't it? On paper, it sounds great, but emotionally,
I just don't even care what happens next. In fact, I bet I know what happens: the game told us that we have a
mole so somebody's going to betray us, I'm sure a named character
will die, maybe multiple ones, the rebel base will likely get raided, and I'll kill every named Nazi mentioned
so far, except Himmler. The end. See, this is why I play a lot of
unpredictable games; you never know what you'll get. But this is a relatively polished game; I don't think there are going to
be big surprises. This game does have MOMENTS that
are a lot of fun--look at this: BOOM! That was fucking awesome! But the problem is, these are literally
MOMENTS. They're gone almost immediately. The entire rest of the time, I kept
thinking, "Maybe I should do something else. "Get some work done, go outside..." No. That is the worst possible reaction
a game should evoke from its players. It's better to have players
pissed off at your game than to have them completely uninvested. A good game makes you
want to play it so much that it creates real problems in your life because you keep stealing time
from elsewhere to play more of it. Those are the best games. "Wolfenstein" made me wonder if
I'm just getting jaded because I was really trying to like it. But I looked up some reviews and
I'm not the only one who felt this way. "...a toothless and insipid platitude so
bland as to be essentially meaningless." Damn! And it isn't just the reviewers; I read they didn't sell nearly
as many copies as they hoped to. So, I know how I feel about
playing this game but I was really struggling to
figure out WHY. Like, is this game THAT much different
than other first-person shooters? I played through all of "Return
to Castle Wolfenstein" and don't remember the same kind
of disappointment. Was it just me being younger? I mean, this has BETTER gameplay
than a lot of other shooters I've played that didn't leave me
feeling so unmotivated. I thought about this a long time and I think I may have figured out
why "Wolfenstein" causes gaming ennui. First, the gameplay is only okay,
because if the gameplay was REALLY good, I think that would make up for
almost all the other flaws. Second, except for that Russian, none of the characters really
seemed to give a shit about anything and in turn, the game doesn't
really make ME care about anything. You can have big gameplay flaws,
bad writing, but if the game really CARES about it, then
that could be enough to carry you through. That never happened here. Bland, disinteresting characters
and voice acting, combined with a story that the game itself
doesn't seem to care about is just death. They should've made the Nazis
more brutal. I mean, they WERE. Make the resistance sound like
their lives are all on the line. You have to at least PRETEND
your game is awesome. After all, if the game doesn't care about
what's happening, why should the players? Finally, this could be the biggest factor
that separates it from older shooters: the game reminds you
it's a game WAY too much. When I play games, I like to get
lost in the world that I'm in. Well, every time I get a fourth
wall-breaking reminder, that partially destroys the illusion. "Hey, you're wounded. Take cover."
"Follow me." "Man the machine gun." "Press R to Reload." "Checkpoint.
Saving game." Characters with the same voice. "He's a spy." "Follow the compass."
"Here's your objective". The game is tripping over itself
to tell me, "No! You're not really in 1940s
Germany, Ross. This is JUST A GAME. "Everything is already planned out,
so we're going to need to press this button. "Can you do that for us?" All this stuff adds up and my
subconscious mind knew something was off because there were constant
reminders this wasn't real. Despite looking a lot worse, you didn't have all these
reminders in a lot of older shooters. For some games, this stuff
doesn't matter, but for others, like "Wolfenstein",
I think it breaks it. Okay! Awards time. Anti-Gestalt-- This game is somehow
LESS than the sum of its parts. By every individual metric, it
should be a good game, but taken together, something's gone. Soulless-- Not enough people on
the development team gave a shit about this game and it shows. And the final award: Best headshots-- I am not kidding, these are some of the most
satisfying ones I've ever seen. So, that's "Wolfenstein": Black Sun, or as
much as I'm going to play of it, anyway. I'll have to come up with
something spicier next time. And, remember, "We need you
defending us with the MG4--" [music] [distant parade music]
