Ron Swanson Gets Food Poisoning | Parks and Recreation

-What a gorgeous, herbaceous medley. -There's been a mistake. You've accidentally given me the food that my food eats. -Salad is traditionally the first course at a wedding. -Is a gerbil marrying a rabbit? -I'm in charge of food for the wedding. So I brought in Pawnee's three best caterers and a panel of experts. Chris loves vegetables, Ron loves meat, and Tom considers himself a foodie, which apparently means taking Instagrams of food instead of eating it. Okay, so I liked number one, Chris liked number two, and Ron liked number three. Tom, what about you? -Caterer number one's presentation was simple, yet exhausting. Number two's was subtle and provocative like a coy Dutch woman guarding a dark secret. -Nothing you're saying is helpful. -But number three's told a story, a story from a book I wouldn't read, but I would watch the movie of. -That's nonsense. You know what? I'm gonna go with the first place. I really love that appetizer. -Oh, the mini calzone? -I wouldn't call it that. It was more like a savory pastry. A delicious little dough pocket filled with tomato sauce, cheese, and seasoned meat. Just a stunning culinary innovation. -It was a calzone. -It was literally just a small calzone. -Chris? I'm dying. -I was dying earlier today and then I died. Now I'm dead. I had to cancel a date with Shauna Malwae-Tweep and I really like her. Do you think she'll still like me now that I'm dead? -What is this? -It's food poisoning. I have it, too. I did not sleep for one second last night. And I cracked the bottom of the toilet bowl. -Oh, God. Don't say that. -Has anybody talked to Tom? I can't even imagine what that tiny little man must be feeling like. -I have voided more than Tom's body weight in the last 12 hours alone. He might've just disappeared off the earth. -We need to call him. We must reach out to him. I can't do it. -[ Groans ] Ben. Extension 7820. [ Dialing ] -[ Humming ] Oh, whoa. Smells like some vomit took a dump in here. What happened? -We got food poisoning, Tom. -Ew. -How do you not have food poisoning? -Because he didn't eat anything. He just took pictures and talked about the wow factor. -Not true, I ate everything you did. -Are you sure? Is there anything that you didn't eat? -Oh, yeah. I didn't eat those stupid mini calzones. Haverford rule number six, never eat anything with a sauce I have to dip myself. Drizzle it on for me. I'm not your maid. -The calzones betrayed me? Never again, guys. As God is my witness, they are dead to me. -All right, well, Tommy feels great and I'm about to go eat some lasagna. Peace! -[ Burps ]

Channel: Parks and Recreation

Views: 2,456,457

Keywords: mini calzones, ron swanson food poisoning, food poisoning, parks and recreation, highlight, amy poehler, aziz ansari, nick offerman, leslie knope, ron swanson, aubrey plaza, chris pratt, adam scott, andy dwyer, parks and rec ann, parks and rec, Entertainment, TV Series, Celebrities, Comedy, Funny, Hilarious, Comedian, NBC, Parks, and, Recreation, rec, Rashida Jones, tv, mockumentary, Outstanding Comedy Series, Paul Schneider, Rob Lowe, Greg Daniels, comedy thursday, Best, Series

Id: w-wK936N5OI

Length: 3min 28sec (208 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 23 2020