(stage host babbles) - [Stage Host] "I love vomit." (muttering) - He sounded like Lady Gaga, doing that. (crowd laughs) - [Cameraman] Hoping this doesn't sink. - [Stage Host] "It's not gonna sink it's beer man, beer floats. I'm gonna send it over
to you, oh, oh, oh." - [Cameraman] Please come up. (crowd laughing) - "Please come up!" - [Stage Host] Yeah, yeah. (laughs) - Oh my god. - He is staring down there. - "Please, that was $84 of all my money." (stage host grunting) - [Stage Host] "Okay, let's
do everything we can here to dig out and get rid of this fella. All right, okay, take care! (crowd gasps) See you later." If either are you are getting yelled at by somebody, do you get
emotional and yell back, or do you lock up and just let them yell and stay nice and frozen? - It depends on who's yelling at you. My mom would be yelling at me, I'm like, "Whatever." (crowd laughs) - I just picture somebody yelling at you and you just not even saying a word. Just acting like you don't care. - With my girl, I'm like that. - Right? - I definitely yell back. - [Stage Host] Yeah. - I can see being that way, yeah. - I'm one of those bite sized bad asses. (crowd laughs) - She's, like, 100% phased. "You mother (bleep) I
swear to (bleep) god! This is not blue!" (crowd laughs) - He was waving at death. "Thought you had me, bitch!" - [Female Host] It kinda looked like he just crossed the finish line. - [Stage Host] He did! "I'm about to win, victory is mine! Anyway, hey what's up? You got my trophy?" (crowd laughs) "Okay, there's the sensor. And... All right, all I gotta
do is get it out, good. Here we go! (crowd gasps) Here we go, anyway. Oh, hey! (crowd laughs) Oh, man, look." - [Male Host] He was waiting
on him the whole time! - He could have put it in a
bag, then threw the bag over. That would have been the
smarter way to do is. - All right, there. - Hey, we're still seeing
a (bleep) flying bag coming out of the store. (crowd laughs) - [Stage Host] "What, what? I don't have anything! Except for, I don't know, fine, fine! Yes, you're right, I took an iron. You're right." - [Male Host] Bro, the iron? - [Stage Host] "Fair enough,
fair enough, I took two. (crowd gasps) I'm not perfect, I'm not perfect." - [Male Host] Is she selling irons? - [Stage Host] Okay, okay, whatever. "Whatever, maybe I have three. Okay, okay, fine, I have four." - Is she opening a (bleep) cleaners? - [Stage Host] "Okay, that's
it, really, honestly." - She gonna pull out some starch. - [Stage Host] "I'm gonna tell you what." (crowd laughs) - [Stage Host] "I'm gonna tell you what. It's stick up! Oh, oh! Oh, oh. Oh, okay. (female host laughs) Ki-yah!" (crowd laughs) "Um, sir! Did you drop a gun, sir? (laughs) (window shatters) "Oh, oh, okay, fine." - [Male Host] Was he
trying to break in, though? "Just what I'm looking for!" - [Stage Host] "Hey, guys. (crowd laughs) If you don't mind, I'd
like to turn myself in. I've been doing some criminal activity." - "Can you unlock the back?" (laughs) - [Stage Host] "I'll tell you what, consider yourself arrested." "Thank you." "Like, sir, we didn't
see you do anything." "Nope, I'm a criminal, take me to jail." (laughs) - You ever been in one of
your house parties like, "Yo, grab me that cup." (crowd laughs) I'm gonna feed you my brand new iPhone X. (crowd gasps) - No way. - How could you mistake
the phone for food? - [Stage Host] Angry at the guy filming. "You should have told me!" (crowd laughs) - [Stage Host] Oh my god! I don't know what you call it, I don't know what you put in there, I don't know, it's really good! - That's definitely
meth, look at his face. (crowd laughs) - I mean, this is a combination
of meth, crack, and cocaine. (crowd laughs)
- Yeah. He is on, look at his eyes, bro! - [Stage Host] "I just need one more hit! I just need one more!" - [Female Host] He needs
weed a little bit more for those cataracts. (crowd laughs) - Look, I grew up in Ohio, and Denny's in the summer after midnight was just literally like, might as well be the UFC. (crowd laughs) Oh (bleep) going down like, "Oh put my cheeseburger and fries over. I gotta get out the seat. Oh, (bleep) oh, it's Terry, oh, oh, oh. (bleep) That ended quick. Okay, cool." Like, "Oh, here comes another one,
oh (bleep) in here now." How would you rate you
parallel parking skills? - Oh, I'm amazing.
- Ten out of ten. - [Stage Host] Oh, wow. - Are you? - I'm a great parallel parker. - [Stage Host] Damn. - I don't see that.
- I be swerving in like... (imitates car parking) - That was not the right sound effect. (crowd laughs) - It is, though. Now I picture the tightest hardest place. (clicks tongue)
(claps hands) Pop, pop!
(imitates tires squealing) "Yeah, girl!" (crowd laughs) - "Hey, what's up?" "What are you doing?" "C'mon, please!" - Bro! Is that his neighbor? - [Stage Host] "Dmitri, please,
can I get a smoke, yes?" - [Female Host] He's on,
like, the sixth floor! - [Stage Host] "No, no?"
(glass shatters) (crowd gasps)
- Oh, god! He gonna break you window
for a (bleep) cigarette. - You asked me to do something incredible. You were like, "Hey, Rob. Join me for Gymkhana Ten,
it's gonna be so amazing. I got this great idea. I'm gonna get a car with no tires, so when I drift it, it sparks. And you can have a mini car with no tires and drift it when it sparks." And I'm like, "Ken, I wanna support you, I wanna be a part of this, let's do this. Let's go Gymkhana Ten." Right, got all excited. And as I showed up, I'm like, "Damn, I am way too old for this (bleep)." (crowd laughs) "What's up, how you feeling? What the? You are not, I do not...
(crowd laughs) Oh, my bad. Oh, sorry." - Bro, he too over her anyway. - I feel like he hid his
face with his feather. - He legitimately got
embarrassed right here. (crowd laughs) Covered his beak. Nothing says embarrassment
like beak covering. (crowd laughs) - Man, he really did. - [Stage Host] "Man, what's up?" "Meow." "Meow meow meow." - Aw, this is so cute. - [Male Host] That's
how to wake a girl up. (crowd gasps) He being too aggressive! Look at his neck! Like, damn! - That cat woke up like, "Who in the (bleep) are you? No idea." - "I thought you was another cat, my bad." - Legitimately do not know each other. - Yeah, like "What is you doing?" - He must be the king of the kangaroos. (crowd laughs)
"Kiss the rings, bitch." - [Stage Host] "Get out of here!" "But I want to hold you and kiss you, but I think you are special, your chest." - She felt his heart. - "But your heart, your heart
does not beat like mine." "Bigot!" (crowd laughs) (crowd laughs) (crowd gasps) - "(bleep) Why don't you come pick it up with your teeth (bleep)." (crowd laughs) - I don't like that nose, Reagan!" - Stop it, Reagan! - [Stage Host] "I'm a moose, I don't fuck with none
of this technology." - [Male Host] No! It's about to go down. - [Stage Host] Look, look. "Fuck that! Okay, okay? I'm a moose! And I don't mess with no technology!" "There's a couple things
I don't worry about, and that's molten metals. Come here, y'all! (crowd gasps) It's nothing!" - That's like lava, what the? - Bro.
- Yeah. - [Stage Host] "Been working
in this mine for 50 years. (crowd laughs) These hands are made of leather!" Oh! "One of you cattle get
over here and pound me!" (crowd laughs) - What is even happening? - [Stage Host] Just a man in his undies looking for some cattle love. (laughs) "Hey, arm wrestling talents, baby!" - If you lose you, gotta kiss my tit. (crowd jeers) - She said, "If you lose, you gotta kiss my tit." - Sounds like a lose lose. - And then she says, keep going. - If you win, you gotta kiss my tit! (crowd cheers) - Either way, you're kissing titty. So, you are a coach on
the Australian Voice. - Yes. - How much time have you
been spending in Australia? - So much time in Australia,
I absolutely love it. It's one of my favorite places. - Wow. - But, I mean, I think who
enjoys it more than me is my son. - Does he get confused by the accent? Is he like, "Mommy, what are they saying?" - The first time he just
kinda looked up, like, "Why?" You know what I mean? But he, now he says stuff and I'm like, "Wait, you don't say that like that!" (crowd laughs)
You know what I mean? - Look, that's just what I pictured like, him spending two months down there and then he gets back to LA and he's like, "G'day, mates" (crowd laughs) "There's only one thing
I wanna be, is free! There's only one thing I
know more free than me. And that's God's hay. I wanna be a good ol' fashion bale of hay. (crowd laughs) Yeah!" - Bro, that's pretty funny, bro. That's pretty (bleep) magical. - [Stage Host] "I don't give two (bleep) about anybody driving. You stop that car! This is my world!" (car honks) - Bro. He clapped that she stopped. - [Stage Host] Because he's like, "You see my mullet. I'd go (bleep) you up.
(car honks) - I got an entire thing of
fries and chicken nuggets. My life is (bleep) made! Welcome to the true... (girl screams)
(crowd laughs) - "I only need fries and
chicken, my life is (bleep). Oh, (bleep)." - "Look, I'm just trying to
get my kids to school, okay? Thank you, goodbye. (crowd gasps) Well, you done did it now. (crowd laughs) I gotta go for my, I guess I'm gonna grab whatever this is. Just put you down real quick. Take care." (object thuds)
(crowd laughs) "Oh, yeah!
(crowd laughs) Just go, Darryl." - [Male Host] Boyfriends of Instagram. - She was like, "Grow a mustache, too. You'd look so sexy. - [Male Host] Yeah, his mustache looks like a struggle 'stache. (crowd laughs) (pop music) - [Stage Host] "Girl, I can work it all, I got you, I got you right here, okay? (crowd laughs) Let me handle these shoes, there you go." - That's a good boyfriends, though! - He really is. - I would do that, though. - You would? - I would definitely do that. - You would take them
heels, get them in there, make sure there.
- I would give her some socks, You can't be in the club with no shoes on. (crowd laughs)
- That's true, that's true. - That's disgusting. - [Stage Host] "Here we go, mate! Good to see you, I'm
just, I love down here." "Get out of there!"
(crowd gasps) - Oh, he wore a panda
T-shirt, he got beat. - [Stage Host] Oh, that's what it is, huh? - [Male Host] "Not gonna wear
that panda T-shirt 'round here no more, bro." (man yells) (crowd laughs) - She has never sat like this before! - Look at him, he's like, "Man, bring them legs down here, girl, I'm gonna get to work. (crowd laughs) Looks like a couple chicken bones to me." (crowd laughs) - [Male Host] Oh, ignore
the faking he's doing. - [Stage Host] "What's up, what's up? - [Male Host] "Y'all hear something? Y'all hear something?"
(crowd laughs) - "Do you hear something,
I don't hear anything." - [Female Host] This is so cute! - [Stage Host] "Nothing,
nothing whatsoever." - Either of you spend
time deep in the south? - Like South Carolina, deep in the south? My family lives in South Carolina. Had a little Myrtle Beach
activities in my life. - Do they get weird, or what? - They're just like,
really, they drink a lot. (crowd laughs) That's the part of the family, they're gonna hate me for this. (laughs) - Oh man, here we go. "Thanks, Chanel. I'm gonna tell you right goddamn know, that Chanel, (bleep) West Coast or whatever she wants to call herself, she knows good and (bleep) well that she could be Chanel South Coast." (crowd laughs) Ah, yeah. (crowd gasps) "Keep spinning, dodge the bullet, Terry. Dodge the bullet!" (crowd laughs) - This is some (bleep) like, Ken would call me and be like, "Hey, we got an idea for Gymkhana. It's gonna be like a convertible and you can sit in the back." But, I can picture him being, "This one's totally safe, you just sit on the
back of my convertible, we'll spin you around a little bit. What's the worst that could happen?" This is what it looks like. (crowd laughs) (crowd gasps) I'm gonna tell you what
he's not going to lose; an all white Air Force 1. (crowd laughs) "There's something about you, girl, I can't quite tell what it is." - "I can't quite tell what it is!" - "I can't quite tell what is is, girl!" He's like, "Just look at my eyes,
stop looking at my tail." "I don't give a (bleep)
about a door, never have." - [Male Host] Bro! - [Stage Host] "I smoke in here, man." - [Male Host] Oh, what the (bleep)? - Whoa, whoa whoa.
- What the (bleep)? - [Stage Host] Uh oh, uh oh. "Wait a minute here."
(crowd laughs) - [Male Host] What the
(bleep) is going on? - [Stage Host] Coming
in with the machete now. - [Female Host] This guy looks like he's. - He kept eating his food? - He's just contemplating right now. - [Female Host] He's so confused. - He's like, "Am I gonna die if I stay here? Or should I finish?" (crowd laughs) "And I've been using this
right hand since '64." - [Male Host] He's trying
to wall him, though. - [Stage Host] Ki-yah! (crowd gasps) - [Male Host] He tried to warn him, bro. (man yelling) - [Stage Host] Oh! - [Cameraman] You got
knocked the (bleep) out, boy! (crowd laughs) - [Stage Host] "I can do you taxes, or I can stomp you out." - He threw an MMA elbow at him. - He did. "You wanna come around, start
(bleep) around in a CVS." He said, "You mind if I step in front
of you, all I got is gum." "(bleep) that!
(crowd laughs) I'll stomp you out." - "What do you want to do?" "You bake my bread, I'll bake your bread!" (cane cracks)
(crowd gasps) - The accuracy, though! - It is, man, a long lineage
of (bleep) sword throwers. - [Male Host] She been
throwing for a while. - [Stage Host] I was born to
murder with knife throwing. (cane cracks) "Eat the stick!"
(crowd laughs) - "Ah, (bleep), this is
more than vacation, bitch." (crowd gasps) - [Male Host] Oh, oh! - [Stage Host] "(bleep) You wanna take my crap,
that's my margarita." You gotta let them fight. - [Male Host] You gotta help somebody. - [Stage Host] You gotta let them fight. Whatever that was over,
most likely a beer. (crowd laughs) - You gotta (bleep) let
that (bleep) play out, man.
