r/MaliciousCompliance - I'm Karen, The New Manager!

welcome to our slash malicious compliance where we share stories of people conforming to the letter but not the spirit of a request and today's first story is Catman vs. Karin awning of Justice about four years ago I decided to go small and got a 29 foot 5th wheel for my three cats and myself and got lucky enough to find a spot in the park it was basically perfect for us pretty much anything I needed was within walking distance or a five-minute drive and my cats were allowed to run around on the provision that they had access to an outdoor litter box that I would maintain in my space and that they didn't cause any problems with noise fighting with other cats etc the rent was reasonable and fixed for two years with all utilities included except electric so honestly I was thrilled about a year and a half went by and all seemed well until one evening I returned home from work to find a note taped to my door i unfolded it to find that a complaint had been made against my cats - park management and I needed to come into the office to have a talk about some things this was my first note from management in my time there and my only real interaction with them had been the occasional wave as I passed by the office or the monthly rent payment ritual it was already 1845 so I decided to wait until the next morning in the interest of avoiding further complications I brought my boys inside for the night and settled into bed around 23 o'clock I woke around 8:15 to someone pounding on my door it actually loosened the hinge pin on my interior door handle and I opened it to meet Karen I say this because not only did she truly embody the very essence of Karen hood it was also her name me bleary and barely awake can I help you Karen on what I can only assume is her fifth bottle of cold brewed coffee hi you bowl-o-rama Schwartz I'm Karen the new park manager and we need to have a talk about your cats okay yes she literally said m'kay like a lot kill me now dot give me yes I saw your note and I was planning to come by when I got up Karen well the office has been open since 7:00 so I just thought you were avoiding me me well I typically work nights so I'm not usually up at 7:00 Karen oh so you're the roll out of bed around noon type then this sounded incredibly condescending whether it was minty or not me um usually closer to ten o'clock but I'm awake now let me throw on some people clothes and I'll be right over okay Karen nodded awkwardly probably realizing for the first time how ridiculous she sounded and walked back to the office now I am NOT a morning person as due to some medical issues that I won't go into here I have a bit of a pill ritual that requires food and lots of water or I spend the day in bed or the restroom figuring this wouldn't take too long I popped in a coffee pod while I got dressed and fed the boys then strolled to the office with a cup in hand but no food water or pills in my system as of yet Karen I was about to start thinking UT on back asleep it had been 15 minutes maximum since she had left 20 since she had awakened me me sorry I had to feed my cats and wake up a wee bit gestures with mug now what can I do for you I worked in bars for almost two decades so I'm putting on my diplomatic conflict resolution hat to start with Karen well your cats are the issue that we're here to discuss we've had some complaints that they've been harassing some of the other guests smaller animals and people have said they've seen animals pooping under your trailer which is a violation of the space rental agreement me Wow I'm sorry to hear that they're attacking other animals I didn't think they were aggressive like that as for the poop though I have an addendum to my rental agreement it allows me to have an outdoor litter box I can show it to you if you like Karen no I know about your agreement air quotes unnecessarily but that's up in about six months so I think it's time we renegotiate again seriously lady the terms me so basically we're talking about changes that need to be made by the time this lease is up and you're being a champ and giving me a six months heads up cool this is not what she was trying to do but again diplomacy Karen um yes that's the gist of it 15 minutes in several mm Kay's later I walked out of the office with a horrible stomach egg and a few pieces of important information one an outdoor litter box would be permitted as long as it was enclosed and not under my trailer too permanent or a free-standing enclosures are not allowed this was meant to apply to sheds and the like but Karen decided to use this to make my outdoor cat box an impossibility three my cats would be permitted outside as long as they were in an enclosed area or on a leash for pet fences over three feet high were not permitted and must be removed when not in use my newfound knowledge in writing I set out to find a solution to the problem but I kept running into one thing or another that would break the rules so after about a week of frustration I decided to ask for a copy of my upcoming lease renewal as I like to adhere to the letter of the law Karen gleefully printed it up and signed it in front of me as apparently she'd already drafted it and was expecting to deliver it to me well before the end of my current lease I didn't even look at it until I got back to my place but then Hugh malicious compliance the new lease said essentially what I thought it would basically that if I could find a way to adhere to all of these rules simultaneously there wouldn't be a problem but the tiniest infraction would result in a park fine I began looking at the technical definitions of the words used in the lease and finally discovered something that worked in my favor freestanding not supported by another structure this was it my ace in the hole I now had an idea I was still making the payments on the trailer and one of the stipulations of the finance agreement was that I maintain full coverage insurance on it until it was paid off that meant that I could potentially report any damage to any part of the trailer inside and out to my insurance company and they would cover it my door awning a standard 16 by 8 vinyl awning was about 20 years old and battling a needed replacement so I called around and found a place that does awning repair an installation as well as solarium design I met with a consultant Mick on Friday afternoon and told him exactly what I needed and why he smirked and asked for my insurance information then told me would call me the following Monday Monday rolls around and my boys have been inside all weekend so we're all going a bit crazy being cooped up together for so long at a time and I was awake at nine o'clock when the phone rang I ran to it gleefully expecting to find Mick on the other end of the line but instead I found a representative for my insurance company who was calling to inform me that my repairs have been covered a my deductible was something like four hundred and thirty dollars not ideal but given the scope of what was about to happen I didn't mind too much I went to the office and told Karen's husband Dave your wife is Abby that I was having my awning repaired and was just waiting for an installer to call me fast-forward 10 days Karen and Dave went out of town for the weekend so while they were gone Mick and his crew spent nine hours over two days putting up an absolutely gorgeous screened outdoor dining enclosure with a snap on canvas outer shell and the whole thing was supported by the awning bracket and a cleverly designed series of poles that made absolutely certain that there was no way it could be interpreted as freestanding or permit and since it was definitely not a fence and completely enclosed my outdoor litter box I complied with the letter of the law now I prefer to err on the side of caution so I also implemented a contingency plan I have a particularly crafty friend who enjoys a challenge and was very much in the spirit of what I was trying to do so he helped me build a 10 by 7 interior wooden enclosure that used the poles for the side screen wall of the awning extension as its primary support so again not Reis tanding we also isolated a path between the RV door and the enclosure door as well as blocking off the undercarriage to help Corral the cats Sunday evening Karen comes home to find this classy probed an Asian fumigation tent attached to my RV and as expected throws a fit she comes stomping over but can't find the door flap it wasn't marked if I wanted her to know or if she'd bothered to ask I probably would have told her but she didn't give me the chance so she walks back to her car drives over and starts honking her horn until I come out mind you I'm sitting about 15 feet from her inside the enclosure calmly smoking a cigarette and petting one of my cats I let the honking go on for about 30 seconds as predicted she started screaming at me about how this was clearly a violation of the lease but I spent the next 15 minutes showing her exactly how it was not in any way and since the lease made no distinction as to what I could do but focused rather on what I could not do size restrictions etc there was no language indicating that I had done anything wrong Karen then tried to claim that the lease agreement was six months out and could still be changed at which point I pulled out the signed copy she gave me and showed her that I had signed and dated at the day she gave it to me she then tried to argue that I had forged her signature and created the document myself Eisen informed her that I had sent a copy of the document to my insurance company a few weeks prior and we were both in the office under the surveillance cameras when she printed signed and handed it to me they still have one of those old four-panel black-and-white surveillance systems and the monitor is on the counter in the office right underneath the camera covering the entire office I can't remember what happened next exactly but I do know that Karen tried to remove the non-load-bearing screen wall that isolated the door pathway and ended up getting stuck in a screen breaking the frame falling over and threatening me with the lawsuit at which point my neighbor came over and stated loudly through the enclosure that it wasn't soundproof and he'd heard everything that happened Bob I could kiss you if you weren't so weird and gross in the end I got to keep my enclosure and several other people in the park noticed my solution and did the same as quickly as possible in the next few months I became something of a hero to some of the longtime residents of the park because apparently I wasn't the only one being harassed I was just the first one to find a solution oh and as it turns out the complaint was made by Karen to herself because she wanted to let her small dog run around but couldn't stop him from chasing cats that was two and a half years ago and I'm still in the same spot Karen and her husband on the other hand were found to be too volatile to manage the park and were relocated by the same owner to a 24-hour storage warehouse outside of town where they provide on-site security I still see them every so often when they come to get propane because it's cheaper here even though they don't get the park resident discount anymore I have a bit of a woodshop set up in my new space outside and I now have six cats a wife and a stepdaughter who all love their indoor outdoor porch the second story is tis the season once upon a time I was a newlywed getting ready for my first Christmas with my in-laws now it's worth noting that these people are Christmas crazy you know that one house on the block that's decked out in more bling than a cashed up stripper that's them so as a new bride I wanted to make a good impression I should also note that my new husband had a history of taking credit for things he played no part in such as presents or meals or a wedding in the lead-up to Christmas I had shopped wrapped and ribbond as if my life depended on it everyone had carefully selected gifts that were wrapped immaculately with the complementing ribbon and bow and handmade tags not the stickers with to-and-from Christmas morning I was ready we entered the living room and after the momentary visual adjustment required for that amount of tinsel in a confined space everyone sat down around the tree for the gift giving ceremony the ceremony was a big part of the day for my in-laws one person was selected to wear a Santa hat and distributed the gifts one by one when it was your turn to open a gift everybody watched you what I didn't know then is this was a form of analysis so it could be discussed later a few gifts are given out then one of the ones I draft was handed to my husband I was terribly excited it was something he'd wanted for ages I couldn't wait for him to be thrilled when he opened it but wait I did because he couldn't get the ribbon off we weren't supposed to talk during the ceremony so we all sat there quietly while a grown man wrestled with a ribbon it was curling ribbon for those in the know not exactly a Rubik's Cube after a good 10 minutes of watching him lose his mind I quietly suggested he pulled a bow off so the ribbon would slip off the side he did so and was mildly enthused at the gift we moved on to the next person and after a bit my husband was handed another gift my mother-in-law said don't worry I won't tell you how to open it with a completely innocent smile on her face I chose not to say when I was thinking shortly after a gift was handed to me for my parents-in-law with an insincere apology that it didn't have a bow at this point I figured I must have somehow broken ceremony etiquette by using ribbon I made a mental note not to repeat my mistake in the future and laughed it off first Christmas right there's bound to be some hiccups following the ceremony it was lunchtime which went fine afterwards the men retired downstairs while the women cleaned up this wasn't unusual as they're a fairly traditional family except instead of helping my mother and sister-in-law with the dishes I was sent to collect the scraps of wrapping paper from earlier and take them out to the rubbish this was a little unusual when I've been there for meals before I'd done the dishes with them but again it's Christmas and they have their rules so I collected it all up and then went back to the kitchen to get another rubbish bag I was in the hallway and I overheard their conversation about how utterly terrible I was the domestic things how I clearly paid to have the gifts wrapped to show off how the things I picked were unsuitable and I was sowing grateful for what they've given me etc etc I was steamed unexpectedly my husband chimed in if I'd have known she was going to go stupid with it I would have helped but I was so busy working and she swore she'd take care of it I went from steamed to apocalyptic he was in his third week of an eight-week holiday from work while I was working extra shifts trying to get a promotion I had begged him to help me choose things for his family when we got home later and I calmed down a bit I tried to talk to him about it his response was a groveling apology and an explanation that his family were a bit crazy about Christmas and that I should just leave family gifts to him so the following Christmas I bought a gift for each of them one gift from me only wrap with simple paper in minimal tape Christmas morning comes around and my husband is given the honor of the Santa hat halfway through he starts looking around the tree frantically obviously having realized that there was nothing from him under there afterwards he pulls me aside and asked what the f I'm sure I looked way more innocent than I felt when I answered I left the family gifts to you I don't have a funny story about the third Christmas because our marriage didn't last that long but I've just finished wrapping a pile of gifts for this Christmas and as I curled the ribbons to make my kids presents extra fancy I felt very vindicated to know that tomorrow morning's chaos will have zero of ceremony about it the third story is want me to mind my own business okay oh my my own business this happened in a pub while back after drinking most of the night it was time to start heading home first I needed to shed some extra weight so I went to a toilet and sat down in the second booth as the first one had a sign about missing toilet paper dispenser after sitting down for a while I hear someone entering the paperless booth while at least two others were vacant on my other side I knocked to the dividing wall and politely tell the guy that there's no paper in that booth I get a snappy response of shut it and mind your own GD business nice real nice anyways I hear him starting to work with his relief and it indeed sounded quite messy I finished my pooper ooh and when I was washing my hands I hear a knocking from the first booth and mr. polite saying hey dude pass me that toilet roll yo come on man I really need some paper here yo after considering my options for a moment I replied shut it and mind your own GD business quoting his exact words in tone and I left him there he can sit there waiting to get hemorrhoids for what I care while contemplating how basic manners work in a society oh gee how petty I can be sometimes thank you for watching have a nice day

Channel: Slash Start

Views: 133,338

Rating: 4.8930039 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, cringe, reddit stories, reddit post, reddit posts, reddit cringe, maliciouscompliance, Malicious Compliance Stories, stories, /Start, r/idontworkherelady, r/MaliciousCompliance, malicious compliance, reddit MaliciousCompliance, reddit malicious compliance, r/IDOWorkHereLady, r/MaliciousCompliance Karen, r/MaliciousCompliance Manager

Id: e1rZk3CGzFg

Length: 14min 35sec (875 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 20 2020