r/IDontWorkHereLady - Lady DEMANDS I Stop a Street Fight! I'm NOT a Cop!

hello my wonderful friends welcome back to our slash i don't work here lady guys it's been so so long since i've read anything from the sub it's actually been three or four months and i've missed this subreddit more than certain members of my family i'll tell you that guys in this episode there's gonna be two stories the first story op accidentally impersonates a police officer and is called into action the second story is a wholesome story that involves a doggy daycare except not really i hope you stay for the tales today and hit that subscribe button for future stories let's get into it this first story is titled accidentally impersonated a police officer so a while back i was coming home from a halloween party i'd gone in a police officer costume for no reason other than they let me keep the costume after i played a police officer in a safety video at work so i didn't have to spend any money to go to a party the costume was very high quality convincing and realistic i'd had a few too many drinks and by the time i left the party i couldn't really tell you what i was dressed as or where i was coming from or where i was headed i was just on autopilot stumbling back to the bus stop to head home as i was making my way someone seemed like they were flagging me down they were yelling hurry hurry there's a couple fighting and i think she's about to stab him you have to come quick still on autopilot i am over in their direction not in any big rush so the girl was really floored and kept yelling at me and i'll be damned there was a fight going on i wanted to say to the person who flagged me down why thank you how considerate of you to clue me in on this awesome fight so i can watch but i wasn't feeling articulate enough so i just kind of gave a thumbs up and watched the two people scream at each other it was a young man who looked as though he'd just woken up and come down from his apartment and a woman who was dressed for the clubs but looked like a mess they were screaming at each other and she kept shoving him and making threats saying stuff like it's always fifty dollars are you really gonna make me do this over fifty dollars well the guy kept saying i'm not gonna argue with you i'm not it seemed like the people were looking at me but i didn't have the slightest idea why finally the person who flagged me down said well are you gonna like do something i was baffled a bit flattered but also confused i was trying to make sense of the situation was i somehow involved in this altercation did i know these people did i caused this fight but it was clear that everyone expected something of me so i decided the best course was to fake it until i made it i charged over doing my best impression of authority while trying to place the face of either person in the argument i can't remember exactly what i said but i'm told it was along the lines of hey hey guys chill what's the matter what's happening let's just talk as i got closer i saw the woman was holding her car key between her fingers and jabbing it out like she planned to stab the man with it i just giggled and said okay first of all that won't work haven't you ever seen world star come on she couldn't open a can with those i don't know the first thing about physical altercations sober me wouldn't be the slightest bit emboldened by street fighting videos i watched at 3 am but apparently drunk me felt qualified to offer advice there was a moment of stunned silence as the bystanders wondered how i could be so ineffective and the arguing people wondered whether or not i was going to arrest them when it became clear that i was as clueless as they were the argument continued someone in the crowd said what did you hear that and someone else suggested we should call another policeman like 9-1-1 and i was thinking what yeah of course i can't believe no one's called the police yet this is really getting out of hand good idea maybe i should call so i'm just slack jawed watching them again along with everyone else when someone finally says stop him she's gonna hurt him while looking directly at me i wasn't sure why everyone wanted me to stop them i mean i was the biggest guy there and i'm flattered that they think i could do something but i thought to myself or one of you guys could do something you were here before me but i figured i must be involved somehow and not understand why because everyone kept addressing me directly maybe i owed someone money maybe i chatted with one of them at the party in any case i was like i've got to hang out with these people more often they've got a lot more trust and respect for me than my other friends i was feeling good from all this attention and everyone expecting me to be able to handle things finally i mustered up the most authoritative voice i could and yelled cut it out with a key i told you that will not work i had everyone quiet again so that was a step forward now what exactly is the problem going on here i asked they started to explain but they were both talking at once and nothing they said gave me any better understanding how i was involved so finally i was just like how do you two know each other and the guy said we're friends we're we're good friends she's just overreacting a little right now in hindsight the guy probably had some drugs on him or some other reason to want the cops or in my case people dressed as cops to go away because he seemed terrified even as he was saying it was all fine as best i could piece together stopping the fight would make everyone happy so i thought back to how my mom would break up an argument and implored them come on guys friends shouldn't be arguing this way let it go whatever this is we're all gonna set it aside we're gonna sleep on it until then i want you to hug it out come on and i started ushering them into one another i guess the girl really didn't want to deal with the people justice cops either because though she begrudgingly put her keys down she didn't go in for a hug so rowdy drunk me was like come on hug anything could happen life is short you could be dead tomorrow this poor girl thought the police were threatening her if she didn't comply with an order to hug it out they hugged and then i was like alright where are you guys from and the guy was like well i'm staying at this building here and i was like okay then go home you two need to cool off and maybe tomorrow you'll have forgotten about the whole thing you go too go go somewhere else i said that to the girl as i was vaguely gesturing her away from the building she started to say something about her fifty dollars but i was too tired and ready to go home so i was like now you can pick this up again tomorrow you too man go inside get some sleep it's late you could hear the crowd whispering and confused aw as i watch the girl leave and watched the guy go inside just yelling over them if they tried to start up again until they both cleared out and then stumbling off myself then i went home showered passed out and barely remembered any of it the next day i just vaguely remember talking to some people arguing on my way home about a week later i went to this friend's house again and someone was there who apparently had been in the crowd and they were like oh my goodness you're the cop who broke up that fight in front of my building between you and me i promise i'll keep it on the low but were you drunk on the job you seemed trashed i told her i had no idea what she was talking about that the closest i'd ever been to a street fight was watching worldstar on the internet and she was like yeah you talked about watching worldstar so did you make them hug just to mess with them or is that like an actual thing they teach police officers to de-escalate things that got my attention because what were the odds of someone who looked like me being in this area talking about world star and i did remember the people i talked to hugging so i asked her to elaborate and she recounted the events the whole thing started coming back to me i was like hey yeah that was me i was more focused on breaking up the fight and not really registering the cop part so my confused buddy was like uh don't pull her leg like that come on they wouldn't let you be a cop on your best day and i had to think about that for a second because he was absolutely right finally i put the pieces together and sheepishly explained the mix-up we all had a good laugh over it and i learned never to drink while dressed as someone it's illegal to impersonate even accidentally because you never know what could happen guys i laughed so hard reading this for the first time it's easily one of my favorite i don't work here ladies stories on the sub hands down the way he went about it was incredible come on guys hug it out hug it out i can't believe that worked things could have gone way worse that night and somebody could have had their eyes poked out with that key i can only imagine everyone's faces as they were watching him trying to de-escalate the situation while slurring his words this post is gold this next story is titled this isn't a dog daycare at all a while back i was working in an office that allowed dogs it was an open floor plan and since customers never came into the office we kept the dog's food and water bowls right by the front door just because it was the most convenient space and no one would see them but us who worked there of the six of us who worked in the main office area i was the only one who didn't have a dog and always felt horribly left out to make matters worse across the way was a doggy daycare one day a very frantic woman came in and she had an absolute massive basset hound with her usually the only people who come into the office were associates who had appointments but it was rarely brought their dogs she ran up to me and said do you work here and i said yes how can i help you and she said i wasn't sure if you took watkins but i read this online that i could just drop him off i tried to call but no answer i didn't know exactly what she was talking about at that point and i said come again who did you call exactly thinking if i could saddle her off to whoever it was she came to see i wouldn't have to decipher her problem she said well it doesn't matter now look something urgent's come up and i really need to leave him here here's his food he likes and i'll be back within a few hours at this point i wasn't thinking of the doggy daycare i thought maybe she was a friend of someone here i said well alright can can i get your name please she said her name and then asked if i needed her to sign in or anything and i was so confused at this point that i just said why would i need you to sign something and she left almost immediately so i took otis the dog to the back and showed him to my co-workers and no one knew the woman or the dog i was worried she wouldn't come back but at the same time my wish for an office dog had been granted and otis was supremely chill all he did all day was lie around and drool onto his own ears i just freshened him up every now and then took him out every couple of hours and he was happy as a clam on his big cushy dog bed that we thankfully had an extra of he just loved attention from anywhere he could get it at the end of the day the woman thank god came back she said thanks you're a lifesaver how was he and i said he was a champ and was about to say but why is he here when she said that's a relief most kennels say that he gets anxious around other dogs i heard you operated at a much higher capacity and i was thrilled to see that you had so few clients in the room at one time so how much do i owe and that's when i realized that she thought that we were a dog daycare now i probably should have corrected her but i loved my day with the office dog and i did want to get paid for supervising this strange dog all day i just threw out a number that sounded fair and sad that'll be twenty dollars she replied really in this very high tone and i couldn't tell if i'd overshot or undershot but she happily paid and left my co-workers were laughing hysterically when they realized what happened and we thought it would just be a good story for the future but the next week she came back she said we were so much more affordable and less overcrowded than her other place and she was happy to use us i was glad for the company so i just took him i didn't think there was any way that she couldn't have at least had some idea that we weren't a dog daycare the whole ordeal was so strange that i just figured don't question a good thing not long after otis started getting dropped off too sometimes even three or four days a week i was in heaven he was such a love and he made fast friends with the delivery guys and visitors one day we took our office christmas card photo and otis was over that day so we included him in a santa hat it was pretty great but it turns out otis owner was friends with one of our clients who i guess happened to have the card out on her table or was kind enough to display it alongside her other holiday cards because one day otis owner came in holding the card and walked up to me and said i can't even believe i'm asking this but is is that my dog in this photo this isn't a dog daycare at all is it it's just an office she said it with a note of surprise as though she was looking around and putting it together for the first time then she was like then who are all these other dogs and i explained i was terrified that she was gonna demand her money back or worse take some sort of legal action against us for misrepresenting ourselves as a dog daycare business or even complain to corporate instead she basically said why didn't you ever say anything and i explained that we really just liked having otis around she stopped for a minute and seemed to be thinking and said is that right i said yes and told her the story of how i was the only one in the office without a dog so i love the company she seemed a little hesitant understandably because the whole thing was so weird she turned to my co-worker and asked if i was telling the whole truth and the co-worker backed me up so she said well i wish you'd said something sooner could have saved me a lot of embarrassment with my friend back there alright i have to get going see you at four o'clock and she left otis i couldn't believe it i said so he can stay and she replied where else would i find someone to watch him one-on-one all day for 20 bucks and off she went oda stayed my office dog until his family moved away luckily right around the same time i took a new job now that was a wholesome story guys i had the biggest grin on my face while reading the story and i hope you enjoyed it as well on a side note does anybody know what doggie daycare is usually charge probably a lot more than 20 bucks right and that wraps up this episode of our slash i don't work here lady guys if you enjoyed this episode be sure to hit the thumbs up if you missed my latest episode of r slash i do work here lady it's right here where an owner of a multi-million dollar company is mistaken as a homeless man it's a really great story and you've got to check it out if you haven't heard it already and i'll see you guys in the next one

Channel: DarkFluff

Views: 37,952

Rating: 4.9400678 out of 5

Keywords: reddit IDWHL, r/idontworkherelady, reddit i dont work here lady, i dont work here, mistaken for employee, idwhl reddit, funny reddit stories, mistaken employee, darkfluff idwhl, darkfluff, i dont work here stories, r/idontwork, darkfluff i dont work here, r/, r//, reddit funny stories, not a cop, funny police stories

Id: 7kJfkyMEj1k

Length: 16min 51sec (1011 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 06 2020