Ridiculous Excuses That Turned Out To Be True

cops have ridet what's the most bullsh sounding excuse you got that actually turned out to be true my dad is an officer and he pulled someone over for speeding and running a red light and they said their breast implant thirst he called n's to rush them to the hospital and turned out it didn't it's actually very dangerous if they leak do you know why I pulled you over my boob exploded I used to work as a military police officer I was working at the main gate one night and this guy tried to come on base but he didn't have any ID other than a driver's license so I couldn't let him on the guy told me that a general said he could come on but he didn't have any proof of that and he didn't know what the generals name was it was also super late at night and he didn't seem to have any answers that would help us identify who he was long story short the dude ended up being legit and was coming on base to be awarded a Silver Star the next day from that general former park ranger first week in the job we pull up and see a couple of kids smoking in their car with the windows down the city has an ordinance against smoking on park property but it is too petty to give them a ticket we approached the car and they are visibly nervous my FTO field training officer looks through the windows and sees a couple of beer cans in the car bingo we get them out and start running their info they are all underage but old enough to smoke cigarettes my FTO asks them where the beer came from the driver says he recycles FTO Larson begins to search the car I'm finishing up running their info and these guys are being really respectful FTO finishes searching the campaign ghosts open the trunk all the sudden I hear him bust out laughing he is laughing so hard he can barely breathe he waves me over to look at the trunk of the car and at his level with crushed cans and bottles my FTO said that he has heard that excuse for 20 years and this is the first time it was true he walked out uncuffed the driver and let him go not a cop but I did get stopped by one for eating a taco I worked at a community college in LA that had a high school right next to it well there was a lot of substances sold through the fence at the high school so there was always a cops driving up and down the street between the schools couldn't get a parking pass since I'd just worked at the school so I always parked on that street hit up Taco Bell for lunch and was sitting in my car eating my double decker tacos when a cop drove past next thing I know he's flipping a u-turn and head in right for me he slides to a stop driver window to drive a window and yells at what the hell do you think you're doing stunned I just said eating my lunch well he isn't buying it and says I'm hiding something I just hold up my taco and looked so confused he burst out laughing and peeled out saw him a few times after that and he always waved and had the biggest grin on his face my friend had something similar happen he got a burrito he'd been craving and had it in his lap at a stoplight he's looking down at the burrito salivating over it when a police pulls over and tells him to get off his phone he just lifted up the burrito and the officer laughed and drove away the way he tells it cracks everyone up not a cop family friend was pulled the guy over who was speeding profusely guy was obviously disheveled he said he was headed to the hospital because he had a tick on his peepee cop was confused but he has courted him there then waited in the lobby to check on him see if he was blowing smoke after a while he asked the desk what was going on why it took so long to take a tick off his peepee the reply it wasn't on it it was in it I cringed my first ever real call was for a flasher at the local park when I got there and finally found him it was a mentally impaired young man 16-17 who had a layer of headphones on in a full poohbear I said hey man come here what the hell is going on you know you have to keep your pants on especially at the park he goes on to tell me he had bandaging down his pants and couldn't take it anymore so he had to rip his pants off and was running home to get help I said come on you couldn't make it home first he said no I had ants in my pants as sure as Sh according to more than one witness's account he had been sitting in a sandbox playing at the park and accidentally on a nest of red ants that had crawled up his pant legs popped a college kid washed I driving and pulled a hundred grams of weed off of him also a one pound glass pipe shaped like a huge nail no biggie also find weed under the other college kids in the car driver falls on the sword and tells me all of it is his and lets his friends walk free I like this kid however during the search we find package daddies in the cellophane of a cigarette pack with the top melted closed ask him if he's dealing at ease at school tell him I am aware of a prescription pill epidemic he says no one spends a huge yarn about how he only carries a few on him because he's had his orange pill bottle stolen so many times kid seems like a pretty good dude I decided to take the x-files approach supervisor tells me pursue charges for dealing blah blah blah I tell the kid he has one chance to prove he's telling the truth shows me the broken glass under his driver's seat from a vehicle burglary gotta do better I follow behind him back to his dorm he lets me in and shows me the busted footlocker he kept them in under his bed dunno kind of week supervisors telling me to hurry and drop the axe tell him to do better he calls one of the soccer team assistants up and we meet him in the locker room shows me the little wooden Locker which has a broken lock and assistant coach tells me they have replaced the lock on his cabinets three times campus security has numerous reports of medicine theft from this kid nice I call supervisor up and tell him I have no grounds to pursue delivery charges poor bastard just kept getting his a Darryl's jacked and being the big dumb meatball he was he started packaging them like that I end up talking to his best friend breaking up a house party a couple months later friend tells me KITT as a stand-up guy who only uses weed due to extreme anxiety totally believable from Mayon to with him and has never sold anything in his life friend thanked me and told me his buddy spoke well of me friend also tells me he had to drive his buddy to the hospital a few hours after are left from a panic attack due to the whole incident I felt bad for the kid so now whenever I see him smoking up in his car in the mall parking lot I just wave stopped a guy on a suspended registration and he started getting upset but not at me I asked him why he's so upset he says it's the wife's car she stopped making payments and it got suspended on top of that he was pissed because he was on the way to the new GS and she was probably gonna dump him if he no showed her I shoot him a criminal ticket thinking he was gonna back off and leave the story instead he goes I totally get why you gave me a ticket but I don't want this girl to dump me she's a smoke can you give me a ride there I say fine but you have to introduce me again thinking he'd back off the story he says okay deal and away we go were sitting outside and this girl refuses to come out so he puts me on the phone I tell her that it's either she comes out and says hi or I bring him to jail out she comes 11 stroke 10 dude hit the F + jackpot he also plead guilty to the ticket ha I never told him to do that but I got a kick out of it I like to think it was him giving me a wave back I'm running booking one night guy gets brought in for possessing a truly stupendous amount of substances I'm talking like to Rubbermaid totes fellow shrooms a huge bag of weed and enough heroine to overdose half the county well city I'm on a informant and they told me to make the drop so they could be there and raid the crap out of everybody and let me go for helping ha ha we ie ie ID face left please guy is like I'm telling you dude they're gonna be super pissed that you country we say fed up their bust whatever get in the holding cell and shut up about three hours later three guys show up the agents Thea super pissed that our deputies F ed-up Thea bust I go back to the holding cell to let the guy out and he's just like they're super pissed huh yeah told you so I had a similar call to this one night I was on patrol running traffic and ran attacked through the state's DMV system tag comes back immediately with a DHS warning tone and everything alerting that the driver was on the terrorist watch list and advised not to make contact with the driver under any circumstances I thought maybe I'd run the wrong plate so I tried it again sometimes the tacks are hard to read and things show up wrong the tag returned again as the driver being on the no contact list I was about to advise dispatch that of the situation when they raised me on the radio saying someone from DHS had called about me running the plates twice and demanded that I not make contact with the vehicle needless to say I left him alone but it was crazy spooky how fast they called after I'd run the plate serious watchdogs former cop here I was behind the vehicle that couldn't stay in the lane kept swerving etc it was 1:00 a.m. and I think another drunk idiot on the road pull him over guy is a straight-up a-hole too many cursed me out yelling at men and I noticed his speech is slurred I get him out to car and I can smell a fruity smell on his breath and he has to lean against the car for support I asked him how much he had to drink and he tells me to F off by this point I'm ready to bring him in for a DUI but I just had a feeling something wasn't right I call dens to come check him blood sugar was at 40 not drunk just a diabetic if I would have arrested him he probably would have died before I finished the paperwork go with your gut as something doesn't seem right I was driving with my fee and K and we went through a roadblock where they checked registration and and we get to the cops and they asked for our registration I'm sitting in the passenger's seat so I open up the glove of Arc's and right there is a clear and marked baggie filled to the brim with catnip I completely forgot it was there unjust froze wide eyed I turned to look at the cop shining his light through my open window and he's frozen to just staring at the back II with this look on his face like really I just started immediately professing oMG I swear to god this is catnip you can take it and smell it or test it or whatever like I swear and at this point it's just so ridiculous that I start cracking up and the cop takes it and reasonably deduces I'm telling the truth and he starts laughing and calls his partner over and tells her what happened and they both just cackle dawei for a minute and sent us on our way I went to a disturbance at a backyard vbq once turns out it was a bunch of Roma gypsies as I was trying to figure out what was going on I had some old lady approached me and want to talk to me off to the side she told me she was an informant for the FBI and that if I left she would be able to get some information on a matter the FBI was interested in I rolled my eyes and thanked her and said I would be out of there as soon as I could make sure there was no violence going on anyway I determined it was just verbal so I cleared the cool and went back in service about 15 to 30 minutes later dispatch radioed me to head back to the station I got there and got a message to call some FBI field office and asked for a certain agent I called and sure as Sh this agent said he understood I spoke with his informant and wanted to know everything she told me blew my mind mid-july in like 2008 young kid going 93 and a 55 I swing and he immediately pulls over approaching the car his first word before I can even start speaking my dog died he hung himself I gotta get back before my mom gets home while jpg anyway he calls other family men his aunt uncle and two cousins come out to the stop and between all their sobbing they verify that the dog had actually hopped over the fence on a leash runner and couldn't get back over everyone's crying now they showed me a photo on their phone apparently they found the dog and called the kid at work and he just left I didn't even bother verifying further than that cousin drove the kids car back so they could take care of the dog and prepare for mom some said that I should have wrote him but losing an animal sucks enough he knew he f ed up and adding financial burden to him wasn't going to help him or me I'm glad there are cops out there who understand both how horrible losing a dog is and how financially hard it is to get a ticket as a kid insurance is already too high of course kids should be more careful and it's not the cops fault they got pulled over but you did the right thing in this scenario my dad was a cop and my favorite story of his goes like this he's a young cop in a rough neighborhood it's so late that the stop lights are flashing red meaning treated like a stop sign out of nowhere this pink caddy goes rollin through the intersection my dad pulls him over a big black dude was driving the caddy had fur interior dice in the mirror a real pimp car if you know what I mean my dad goes sir do you know you ran that light back there and this guy says officer I do believe I got between the flashes my dad was laughing so hard he had to let the guy go not a cop that I had a run-in with one that was really funny once when I was 18 I was on a double date with a friend and we stepped out of a restaurant to smoke a cop came up and started harassing us telling us there had been break-ins into cars in the area eventually he said he needed to Pat us down and he pulled a brown paper bag out of my friend's pocket he got a smug look on his face and asked so what's in here my friend said the emancipation proclamation with a completely straight face the cop opened a bag pulled out a small booklet got embarrassed and let us go my friend had been to the Lincoln museum earlier that day and did actually have a small copy of the Emancipation Proclamation in his pocket cop here got a call of a domestic dispute that sounded very heated and a lot of banging was heard get to scene and I can hear someone yelling and swearing and brawling doesn't sound good at all guy answers the door shirt off and angry but seems they willed it as to why police had been called he told me he was building IKEA furniture sounds like the most bullsh thing but we enter see the new IKEA furniture half set up and no one else's home color me surprised [Music] [Laughter] [Music]

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Id: 9dr0WkHE5eM

Length: 16min 2sec (962 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 21 2019