Ricky Gervais - War

now when I'm at home I watch hours and hours of Discovery Channel in History Channel hours Discovery Channel History Channel ask me anything about sharks and Nazis Ronald Reuel Zephyr there's not they're not they're not as bad as a lot of people make out um sharks I mean Nazis awful but sharks brilliant amazing creature okay it can hone in on a floundering fish right through the vibrations that it picks up through electrical impulses through sensors in its flank it doesn't need its eyes but contrary to popular belief their eyes are very good okay but it can smell and taste the slightest human secretion of blood and sweat one part in a billion from a mile away a shark would have found an Frank like that Nazis rubbish I've been to her house it's tiny every day they went in okay let's move on Sarge can we look upstairs today no there's no one down here move on Sarge what's that tapping chef's time to write a book for Christ's sake well it ends a bit abruptly no sequel lazy no but not a traditional subject for comedy the old Holocaust but I will say something about the Holocaust and I'm sticking my neck out here but in my opinion I blame that off Hitler he was the ringleader old are both that names died out on it he killed that day at noon no one's cooling their kids Adolphe nowadays no little adults going to school loads of Brad and Angelina's but know that you don't need a teacher doing the register Brad here Angelina here Adolf here I do that quick so then one can take a picture of me doing that um no but people make excuses for him people say oh he was stupid he was easily led didn't he didn't mean that what do you mean didn't mean that okay I know is influenced by the political philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche right because Nietzsche wrote this paper I'm talking about a Superman he said not all men are born equal and Hitler misinterpreted this and when Wade you filed it and I think of that you're a great scholar you've done this work and you get a call from the Fuhrer and if your goes alright Nietzsche yes yeah good what do you want you just read your book what do you think love it Louisville that man and superman not everyone's equal kill all the Jews sorry not everyone's equal so kill all the Jews I didn't like that I read between the lines I I didn't mean now that's terrible you yeoman give it yep the other men killing Jewish people of you what I've even in Jewish people yeah a few how many six million six million that's what I won't do anymore leave it leave it at six that's terrible I won't do any more stay for dinner well I will but be careful in future I will are you writing any other books well I am but I'm scared to tell you about it I won't do anything what's a new book called my new book is called the gypsies do we need in them Cheers no don't applaud that shouldn't we shouldn't talk about such things it's not like we're in peace times now is it there's a little thing going on in a country called Iraq which is not my favorite war my favorite war is oh so many um they got good for different reasons uh uh boom Falklands that's probably the Falklands because so we won that one and it was great it was a gangster Argentina yeah weird we're going to war with Argentina oh I okay fair enough yeah the reason it's my favourite war is that it was a range war and what that means is the Argentine guns could fire nine kilometres the British guns could fire 17 kilometres so we just parked our ships ten kilometres away and there's worth falling into the sea and we were shelling the [ __ ] out of them it's the war equivalent of holding a [ __ ] at arm's length and is flailing you're just kicking it in the bollocks Vietnam best soundtrack Second World War best ending I'd to be the end that was a great finale you couldn't follow that good girl people are worried about all atomic energy ah oh it's bad the effects are still being felt today but I ended a war and that's good and it was discovered by Einstein and he's a genius and in his 1903 paper he said that light could be described as discrete bundles of energies that when irradiated onto an unstable but what mainly act thinks like that really I'm not a doctor but I think that's what turns Stephen Hawking's mad too much thinking did I mean the universe is expanding course it is Stephen yeah was it good you take a day off go for a walk or not walk funny Oh open a window what if it TV Robot Wars is on you love that Oh No greatest mind on the planet no you say always should never go as Stephen Hawking oh he's a genius he's not a genius he's pretentious born in Oxford and talks about fake American accent

Channel: The Habit of Narrative

Views: 5,086,751

Keywords: Ricky, Gervais, Adolf, Hitler, War, Stephen, Hawking, Albert, Einstein, Comedy, Comedian, Show, Sex, Toad, the, wet, sprocket

Id: QLGCp6jtegI

Length: 7min 12sec (432 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 22 2009