Ricky Gervais Reads The Bible | Universal Comedy

and because I want this show to be educational and thought-provoking and not just a bit of stand-up I will of course be touching on the most violent and destructive animal on the planet the giant gorilla ladies and gentlemen [Music] so some people think the most violent destructive owner on the planets man that amount of pieces think look at the size of in their buildings no man with the worst most prolific mass murderer wasn't dr. Harold Shipman wouldn't be over there how would he get down in an armchair when it's kids were out words dictate is the world's cooler Pol Pot he's killed a mostly 100,000 Oh Pol Pot is the bloke in charge of Cambodia and he killed a hundred thousand people he [ __ ] himself we saw that it's absolutely true he wound up anyone he thought was intellectual and had them executed actually 200,000 of them and how he told whether someone was intellectual or not was whether they wore glasses if they're that player but take him off when they see him coming yeah well kick it up look out here comes Papa all right yeah yeah yeah not too bad best I could solve the world's problems about cared oh not all gorillas are that big obviously yes they're still pretty big you see a mountain gorilla up close in the zoo or you know in the world kill it before it came no I'm joking they're very they're very passive they're honestly very passive totally vegetarian and unlike some great apps like chimps and bonobos they get a bloodlust their hunt a monkey a gorilla will only ever eat vegetation they will never attack unless provoked and then this was illustrated quite well a few years ago when that little toddler following the gorilla enclosure at the zoo it was about three and he fell down and he knocked himself unconscious and this big Silverbacks name was Jambo just started walking towards him and the people he was with and the people assumed they were going spare there was screaming they didn't know what to do that their wit's end they filmed it didn't completely lose the plot they probably feel it if we lose him we make 250 quid I mean ensure it's our complete disaster send it that Jerry Biddle that big one off Emma Dawson I'm ermintrude and what's not but the mountain gorillas John came and sat with him just looked after him until the authorities got in shooed him away and it was fine the kid was absolutely fine and they didn't send out but he was fine it was a happy ending and that's fairly typical I was watching that with my nan and she was getting on a bit then and well she's dead now but and that's true she said she said look at that he was lucky because usually they gobble him straight up usually how many kids she think thrown to the gorillas no time she looks nice head right she's dead now but she was on the way then and but she remember this strange race riots about ten years ago and the prisoners were up on the roof for about three days and the guards and police couldn't do anything that was there they were ripping the place to pieces her putting the tiles off one though just been throwing it down for about three days she went look at them they should be locked up very rare luckily joined gorilla no one official site in New York 1930s major news was it grabbed a starlet at the time Fay Wray she's she's pretty big I used to think we evolved from apes Darwin's theory of evolution through natural selection seemed pretty watertight but in doing research for this show I came across a theory that deviates from Darwin's and and I believe that I just found it in a dusty old book in a in a library it's caught at the Bible and Darwin was wrong we didn't evolve God made us so I just want to explain to you exactly how that happened okay the first book of Moses commonly called Genesis start at the beginning fairly big book but Friday in it lock the doors okay to be four years to get this platform now they listen just think about have blown it just going door to door right okay some of the things you you're here do sound a little bit far-fetched I admit that I thought it wasn't but then I found out that the other name for the Bible is the gospel so it is all true so luckily clue is in the title okay come on come on the Bible okay chapter one in the beginning God created the heaven and the earth it doesn't go into detail he doesn't need to explain to you probably understand because he's got a massive brain yours is learning and you go what you guys don't what just trust me I did and also if he explained it to you it would like ruin the Enigma do you not I mean you'd go that's amazing it's a trick can you don't so it's like seeing notes like David Blaine did someone you go that is real magic and go now I'm just standing on one leg it lifting the other up easily so keeps his cards very close to his chest God's good luck good luck to him he can do what you want he can do anything so he can do what he wants okay here we go in the beginning God created anything and the earth was without form and void and darkness was on the face of the deep bit dark he sorted out and God said let there be light and there was light huh Hey oh come on that's amazing he just made he made light up just it was done it was nothing before it's not like he saw someone holiday and when that I'll be good back on earth he made it up do you know you're the event there was no there was nothing to go but it wasn't like there was Twilight he went let's have that a little bit brighter he just went let there be lighting there what and at the speed of I didn't know let that me like come on I'm busy it's the first day I've got a lot to do I've only got seven days it just do not mean and he probably Dhin have to say it he did say it but he could have gone that's exactly what I was thinking I'll brilliant come what he's amazing what you free your minds listen right okay so you did the light invented it which means that he created the heaven and the earth in the dark how good is that I'd have gone right let's have a little bit of life so I can see what we're doing right I need some planets you you

Channel: Universal Comedy

Views: 2,663,135

Rating: 4.8671722 out of 5

Keywords: Comedy, Universal Comedy, Universal, Stand Up, Stand Up Comedy, Comedian, Stand Up Comedian, ricky gervais, ricky gervais stand up, ricky gervais religion, ricky gervais the bible, the bible, bible, religion, god, jesus, ricky gervais golden globes, ricky gervais show, ricky gervais i take responsibility

Id: S_hnHSdh2Hw

Length: 8min 41sec (521 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 12 2020