Atheist Comedians

that the feeding of the five thousand likes five thousand people and they went to bread and fish I reckon that was just about four and a half thousand people going what we got bread and fish I'm right thank you sir I only want to get home but also the other interesting thing about that story is that out of the five thousand people only two of them had thought to bring any food yes I'm saying away it's okay good miracle but the other side of it is 4998 idiots no sense of foresight at all and Jesus doesn't doesn't make them learn a lesson from that it's all fine you said this is a solo note this isn't Glastonbury you could have said but you know you said you didn't bring any food cuz it's not gonna be any food think about it yeah plan next time Judea would be better if people plan now you know it always works out fine Jesus or magic up some grub I'm just a crucified one day and then what you go here well I understand that you're a bit of a Dawkins fan you were a huge fan wait thrilling thing to ever Chavez I just briefly said hello but I'm a huge fan of he's work I think you know other than near me obviously does the the religious thing yeah which is which is fascinating I think I think I think most religious people when you really talk to them think that all other religions are wrong and I sort of think they're half right yes because of you are kind of on semi-religious for a while I was very religious I was Catholic growing up you were and I sorta thought wallop or if we're all God's children what's so special about Jesus and that changed everything oh they didn't want to know they sort of had to UM I think no I think getting those books I think I was I think it was an atheist book or I discovered his work and then and then discovering he's what kind of I think it's a it's a very interesting thing losing one's religion I think it's a it's a revolution for one yeah it just changes everything completely and I think it's a very it's a very interesting process it's a process that people don't really talk about I think I think the show of hands earlier was it was interesting to watch there's so many hands went in the air and I wonder is there a social stigma in Ireland about being an atheist I wonder is it still something well I don't think that too many people will be willing to put their hands on prayer to say I don't believe in God I don't know why that is maybe it's a I don't but maybe people do believe I mean I think they do yeah but yeah by the stairs and the crossed arms I'm guessing there yeah there's a bit of body language going on there although tell us some more jokes and leave Jesus alone don't cry yeah we've all got my jittery friends I've just grown out of mine if you're saying you wrote this article lidar at least request there for some psychology magazine of some sort and forgive me for not known and put you said in at the end of it that you you're kind of buying books Dawkins books to get for Christmas presents to people yeah no I think it's a lovely thing to give evangelical about you I think I'm quite evangelical about it I used to think it was very charming used to think anyone's religious belief yeah we're very charming and and I think there comes a point where you just go well I've kind of got unlike a fundamentalist atheist now yes that's all a small kind of forthright about the whole thing but it's not for me to say I mean it's not for a comedian he's a scientist yes and he's backs it up with with a very interesting and very accessible science I'm a comedian it's not my place to tell anyone what to think about anything on so I mean that's just my opinion but I'm not I'm not evangelical with people that I don't know yes my friends a public conversation so you should read this to be a good letter to The Late Late Show audience I'll let them believe anything very tell they like God love you dude is it under Nolan's as well you've had a hell of an evening this show is still as mental as it's always been yeah last time I was on there was a pedophile on before me remember that Pat Kenny Legree was running right on this show I didn't I don't know fallout never you never had before although issues like for example I was watching a football match with a two and a half year old of mine right and I give a passionate over football I was roaring at the television or II get that like and then the game ends and I go quiet and I'm in repose I look at this little face this little face which was glowing with learning right and this child looks at me and goes bloody Jesus Christ and my wife goes Dara and I said what we're 80s this is hilarious with a non-denominational secular education there's no religion in our schools yeah that's way we're doing it like whatever so imagine my surprise the twist that I've had to sit do to Nativity plays already we're atheists in a non-denominational secular school what the hell am i doing watching goodbye McRib under the baby Jesus here right this is the first type of production of limbo Christ and my objections are predominately theatrical rather than theological but I got a sit to a lot of these things on tiny chairs in school halls right it's not comfortable I'm saying to my wife why are we here she's going to her it is a Christmas story I'm going there are lots of Christmas stories they could do right they could do a Christmas carol a delightful Christmas story it's a wonderful life a beautiful die hard die hi God is one of our finest and most beloved Christmas tales who among us would not prefer to see an under-five version of diehards small barefoot child shouting yippee ki-yay [ __ ] are they run to a cardboard representation of the Nakatomi Plaza I for one would love to see that check out the service that this church is offering Alex April defended himself and his church after police say members of Phoenix goddess temple ran an organized prostitution ring out of the church it's a puffle and a church they don't just talk about a burning bush they'll give you home so what kind of stuff can parishioners look forward to they call themselves whole body healers offering nude life coaching sessions and prostate massages can you feel Jesus no reading to clip your nails feel like show mrs. Bell it's such nonsense whole-body healers have a look what the leader of this church calls himself at my church I'm labeled a shaman a shaman Wow what magical powers does he have he's devoted himself to healing people including overweight women who need to feel loved if that makes you a shaman I'm gonna start calling my brother ganda mind you if you think a chose to provide sex is creepy look what this preacher is offering pastor beads laid hands on him almost two hours ago can't move since wouldn't you like the Holy Ghost to come on you like that the final religious story this week is a bit more bizarre Jesus image appears on dog lovelyz whereabouts holy [ __ ] literally poor Jesus dad listen me to the wrong train what people report one lady loved it Wow if Jesus was gonna land on any dog surely it will be this feather when I went when I was in America at last I read a survey an analysis actually a meta-analysis of many servers done over a 15-year period about American beliefs and turns out um yeah yeah yeah [ __ ] the man yeah this this survey of American beliefs showed that Americans at a rate of of between 48 and and 51 percent don't believe in evolution which is like half and on top of that 50 odd percent a further 38 to 40 percent of Americans believe that biological evolution has occurred but believe that it was initiated by and has since been kind of administered by um got God leaving a very small percentage of Americans who are right it's not my theory ah but I've got material about evolution before and in Australia and in Britain it it barely raises an eyebrow it's just worth a chuckle bar in America it's quite contentious to do comedy about evolution you know it gets a gas but it's the equivalent of doing material about fisting anywhere else you know it's it's quite confronting for the way I've been heckled by a man in the front row in New York loudly defending his disbelief in evolution I've been pulled aside in voyeurs by people defending their disbelief in evolution in the same terms interesting Lee enough it's the same same defense that the intelligent design movement uses in the high courts of American States to try and snicker at pseudoscience to American high schools and that defense is always but evolution is only a theory which is true I mean it is a theory and it's good that they say that I think it gives you hope doesn't it that that maybe they feel the same way about the theory of gravity and they might just float the [ __ ] away you know people come to me all the time and they say bill I'm with you I saw your movie we're right here you know I don't believe in that crazy biblical nonsense just the central story oh you mean the stupidest part may come on God had a son I mean timeout right there got a de son he's powerful beyond all imagination he exists in a realm above time and space but he has kids what is his bonanza he has a son God had a son and he said to him Jesus I'm sending you down to earth on a suicide mission but don't worry they can't kill you because you're really me but it is gonna hurt for a few days I'm not gonna lie about that son there's about three days you're gonna hate me but I'm doing this for you I mean me let's hang on me you're me you're you but I go myself but I have you me what am i anyway all right now now Jesus here's the plan I God the Father wink wink I'll go down to Earth's first you see we'll split up the workers there's two of us not really I'm down to earth and I'll see if I can find a virgin Palestinian woman to impregnate so that she can give birth to you I mean me it's like Faye Dunaway in Chinatown my sister my daughter my sister my god I mean it is one of the silliest stories I've ever heard but I don't mean to offend I don't know if anyone was affected by the volcanic ash cloud but I had friends all around the world that couldn't get back very missed weddings and funerals and that to put themselves up in hotels that hadn't budgeted for for weeks on end and they couldn't get their money back because the airlines were saying no we can't pay you because the insurance companies won't pay us because they're saying it's an act of God what isn't an act of God if you believe in God that sort of a definition of him isn't it that he does everything is he's all-powerful and he's everywhere ever invented everything he was a what before he was around there was nothing he invented time spat everything okay so he's across it all nothing happens by mistake that he's not absent-minded a volcano going off it's not even going oh [ __ ] I left the oven on that I know these insurance companies that know what isn't isn't an act of God how do they decide about it they got a hotline to God they call God up do they and go ring ring hello yellow and Colette sweet the God please speaking Oh what I didn't think you answer the phone yourself what you want um sorry that volcanic ash cloud was that you yeah yeah oh yeah that was an act of me all right so I shouldn't pay out don't [ __ ] pine a penny son no oh please while I've got you here um did you make a tree fall on Steve Baxter's car lot of Steve Baxter's um to acacia Road Hounslow it happened on the 3rd of June 2:15 3rd of June 2:15 no that wasn't me I was in Africa then giving AIDS to babies you

Channel: Felepa

Views: 2,134,454

Keywords: Atheism (Religion)

Id: Wf1Cge5P8Pc

Length: 14min 49sec (889 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 12 2015