r/Iamverysmart · NO WAY

you thick me an intellectual thick to the second actually that would be thick thick not thick but uh thick c squared would work my fourth grade math education fails me again just like mine did too hello everyone welcome back to drum roll please easy peasy i'm cougar i'm today's narrator and well today we're diving into our slash i am very very smart this is going to be fun for me because i'm not very smart with that said let's get to the comedy don't challenge me at 15 i tested at 148 iq certified by mensah at 16 i made the 1 just because i have opinions doesn't mean i'm wrong no but this this comment does pretty stupid to be honest when i step out of a swimming pool i'm not surprised that i can no longer float if i was an astronaut as soon as i landed i would be capable of writing my reports and presenting to my superiors probably lift some weights afterwards as well to counteract the effects zero g had on my body just saying ah i love the negative two thousand nine hundred down votes that's a record for me the last things germs will be caught doing is going on food before five seconds they move far too slow anybody with a brain and a decent understanding of basic microbiology can figure out that the five second rule makes no sense just like your brain i think this guy have known a lot of drunks and potheads he has learned how to have fun just like them it's beautiful wish i could suppress my mind like that and be funny similar to ross good stuff you demand you're an idiot i also agree with this as an academic i sometimes struggle reading legal tax i don't think law attacks always need such complex use of language laws in the us are written in plain english if you can't understand them ask yourself why pretty sure they're written in legalese which can sometimes lead to confusion for non-loyals they are written in plain english again if you can't understand them ask yourself why bit of a dickish thing to say hope that's plain english enough for you i can't understand what you just wrote as it's grammatically and synthetically incoherent i'm so smart the lid could be a makeshift shield in the knife fight but you should probably still bring a knife to makeshift oh well clearly you need a lesson on how to use the space bar there buddy but i won't be teaching you since i only deal with important things like the subject or the subjectivities that allow for you to instigate the inclination a willful ignorance in relation to a 1080p monitor but i wish you luck oh i love all those down votes no offers or rejections were sent out that one dude who posted he got an offer is a liar they moved their deadlines we should be getting offers soon all three rounds at the same time not true i got mine and so did other friend who applied when did you receive the mail that's impossible i didn't get mine you're aware not all of us get offers right my iq is 0.00 percent it's impossible i don't get an offer that right there is why you didn't get an offer i would brag about being smarter than most adults here but that is like bragging that you can talk to a baby gugu gaga oh my good man i didn't know you spoke baby gugu gaga to you too see that's how dumb you sound that really is how dummy sounds rage against the machine never specified what type of machine they were furious with but i reckon it was probably a printer the machine which they refer to is capitalism and oppressive structures in the highest level society you're welcome no need to mansplain my teeny lady brain understand how poetry and song lyrics work i was making what is called a joke i've been finding joy of late by returning to my roots in my core aspiration to be a brave and capable intellectual explorer seeking out the deepest most important questions and then working to answer them i'm always amazed that there are so few of us who think this way and that's probably why you have zero followers psa it is ill-advised to ensue superfluous issues with an individual who is equipped with the intellectual ability to depreciate and counter the entirety of the ignorance you have felicitated please don't be that person can you stop using all these big words they hurt my brain i don't need to read these big words you sound stupid because you aren't even using some of them right to my knowledge i am a thinker by nature and my x-ray vision can't help but penetrate every matter to its deaths explore it's not just mentally or intellectually but also metaphysically and spiritually my analogies and observations are unsetting for my dimwits here so i will stop now using a lot of big words there also i didn't know you were superman since you have x-ray vision i'm proud of being objective superior to lord to everyone else that isn't me if the answer is your question your pathetic troll shut up little man i smell salt deep down you know i speak the truth my iq is 197 by the way which is more than double the orders yeah for all that in your dues and improper grammar that's kind of funny i'm a prime example of put aside high iq and let's focus on basic mechanics and some embarrassing facts here i can pick up practically anything and become quite good at it far quicker than anyone you pluck off the street i study quantum mechanics cosmology electrical engineering genetics and all sorts of topics because i find learning to be a fun and rewarding experience thus i understand many things most human beings cannot even being too contemplate much less claim to truly understand is that that sentence breaking anyone else's brain because i just feel like i'm dead now best of both worlds adults afraid to check their bank account college students afraid to check their bank account gotta be accurate it's really not that hard to pay for college anyone that says it is probably just doesn't actually try i have a phd in pharmacology just in case anyone wanted to read my autobiography and it's because i actually applied myself student debt is an absolute joke and fabricated by very lasik people all right then buddy you seem like you're 40 years old er than i am so yeah i recently saw someone whip out a calculator for 32 divided by two i suppose i should be grateful to have a mind that finds that ridiculous if you're reading this by the way i mean no offense minus it's just that stuff like that comes to me as easily as walking up a curb it's so foreign to me how dare you use technology fire scary phones are controlling our brains 32 divided by 2 is 79. or should i say 69. bish is a complete psycho like the vast majority of the left honestly it's probably a sing of the capitalist of american society if you look back at large societies that have failed they all get crazy and obsessed with gender stuff right before they fall right in with an iq of 120 plus it's a lonely dark time you can't even talk to anyone because they are all so freaking stupid now i'm mostly concerned about how bad some drivers are on the road i'm not concerned about people's intelligence i just i wish that getting your license is a little harder i see a lot of accidents near where i live i think in academics natural talent is more distinct from skills learned early my parents can attest to me being clearly gifted in problem solving slash engineering from a toddler age sure aren't gifted at getting any likes or retweets on twitter though oh burn b oh my god guys being intellectually superior gets exhausting i refuse to waste time arguing with peasants over concepts they cannot comprehend i'm right you're wrong end of story i went so smart i am of the unfortunate ill that cannot sleep at night if i do something wrong or hurt someone knowingly and as i am too intelligent to not see the truth i have no choice but to always do the right thing this is why i am glad i am not in medicine because then i could never kill a patient i hate you so much i just want in the face my iq is way above the average 200 and it took me approximately two seconds to understand the pattern i find it funny that normal people like you are confused by simple things ha ha and the downvotes prove you're right i'm 21 female my whole life i felt that i was much more emotionally intelligent than my peers therefore i still feel lonely and even more isolated now i'm always really into visual arts and philosophy and i'm exploring my truth and meaning in those fields i find it really hard to relate to young adult books because they still revolve about things like what other people think having illusions about romance friendship etc honestly i'm way past these things i like to go to coachella just for pictures and drink my boba tea and i'm just so smart so your idea of complex life form is just more of random organs that's so incredibly dumb i rarely actually laugh at comments that yours made me audibly laugh the idiocy is astounding ha he only got three likes so uh this is a review of new portal two more that aids time travel there were many gems in the reviews but this one takes the cake oh recommended normally i would not take anything serious if it claims time as another dimension however this game wraps my brain the same way i try to imagine geometry in fourth dimensions so i'll give it a pass i'm a genius mom i need bagel bites for my genius brain power a great game my filter for dating is simple must like the office and parks and rec must like rick and morty must like napoleon dynamite if you can't quote or don't like any of these i'll assume you have a low iq and more fit to show your butt off instagram you know my friend you are in that facebook group called we're all rick's man but really you're a jerry because you said stuff like this you're a jerry let that sink in oh jeez you're such a loser dude okay us intelligent people come off as stupid i swear it's not our fault no you're just stupid i actually feel quite empowered every time i walk into home depot's irrigation section and get asked if i need help because i'm being polite when i say no thanks i'm good the real answer is no thank you and by the way i just heard you tell that other guy you don't have half into a quarter in the micro tubing converter but here it is and no that 8 port manifold does not have a pressure regulator all his tubes are now going to burst okay bye wow dude you're really impressing those home depot employees you're going to put that on your tombstone that's right i'm smarter than home depot employees i just automatically am because i know irrigation systems i'm so cool there's nothing wrong with being a home depot employee that doesn't know what they're doing i was in a home depot employee and that didn't know what he was doing i'm not good with tools man this book is buns well if knew anything about literature you would realize this is an amazing work of art so not it isn't buns it's a masterpiece your buns too buddy your dog water i don't find confusing movies confusing my mom didn't understand spider-man into the spider first and i had to explain inception to her while we were watching it for the first time i people call me crazy just because of this stuff what are you talking about spider-man to the spider verse was a kids movie you're an idiot everyone understands that movie it's so simple stop bragging i understand i understand inception the movie really was an ending of a dream because the dreidel thing kept spinning that's what you sound like you're exactly as dumb as i know you are and i'm smarter than you can comprehend i'll sleep like a baby knowing georgia will have to show an id to vote yeah can i copy your homework don't ask the line to those smart kids this line is so much annoying for them yes it's so much annoying so so much annoying yes i am very special you have no idea what i have come to understand is that other people confuse my certainty about things for something else i fit in when i want to fit in my identity is not what concerns me other people's perception of me is not something i dwell on this is why social media never appealed to me since i quit six degrees in 1999. i mean good for you for not caring what other people think but you don't have to brag about online and you're on a social media right now sick and tired of not being able to communicate effectively because i use too many words i'm going to have to learn how to simplify my knowledge much better in the future see how there's only 14 likes and 20 comments dude's probably getting roasted about how dummy is that could be a whole series seven part series 2k km an episode yeah i could dig that so 2k km so 2mm lol k stands for thousand it actually means kilo he wrote it correctly he wrote 2000 km per episode you are lulling at him like he made a mistake but the truth is you are just not knowledged enough to understand his words so for that lol you know you made a good point by saying knowledged and all that stuff but you were dick about it and you laughed afterwards so you've disproven yourself this meme is so intelligent for most of my reddit gamer yeah you're probably right it was a bit of a gamble to post it i don't think it is bad to post it i just think most redditors haven't even heard of sure redinger's car schrodinger's car and if they have they don't know what it is it's schrodinger's cat last i checked and it's alive and dead at the same time yes math is not a natural blueprint coded into nature it was invented in 3000 bce by the sumerians as a social construct our understanding of math varies with our culture and beliefs edit don't downvote me down vote your own ignorance what that sounds so good successful entrepreneur and ceo masters in psychology and genetics graduate of harvard active member in both mensa and freemasons you'll understand if debating me you are at a severe disadvantage why are you dressed like a my hero academia character that got rejected for the hero course updated on grad school i love it i am very smart like really smart i am also ahead by one and two models in each class so now i am bored again which is the entire reason i chose to go to grad school and you got zero likes after one day there you go buddy last week i corrected my professor in art history class and she took it pretty hard i basically proved her knowledge wrong and got thrown out of class for it thankfully rest of the students protested this move and followed me out they asked me to hold the next class in my house and teach them the next chapter eventually we all went to the department head and complained so the teacher is now suspended and i have an a in that class you know we are in the same class right we literally had a lecture today that you didn't even show up to and you have the audacity to spread these lies lmao she got caught red-handed you should go read a book as well you can find a better comeback what book pray tell i'm looking for something new just read john david foster's wallace's infinite jest highly recommended by the way a little proust and a book on motley crue dumb as dirt but awesome give me a recommendation my new friend i don't know which one of these people i hate more i just hate them both i hate small talks i want to talk about atoms death alien sex intelligent the meaning of life far away galaxy's music that makes you feel different memories the lies you've told your flaws your favorite scent to your childhood what keeps you up at night your insecurities and fears i like people with death who speak with emotion from a twisted mind i don't want to know what's up dude i just like saying what's up dude tell me your whole life story i want to hear it oh god i can already tell this one's gonna suck as we know emma watson is a superstar in every level well other than the fact she's not much of an actress she was dreadful in noah and a big batch of post potter things i've seen her in not that i'm complaining really as she's one hot babe and i'm just happy to just stare at her i bet you get all the ladies with that superstar personality of yours what a [ __ ] what's comment barely restrained psychologically dribbling of you there my dear i voice an opinion you make a scaustic remark and horman maybe look that up i i just feel like he'd pronounce these words wrong anyway being a good looking bloke yes i do the ladies are chewing up wow you like the thesaurus don't you bruh don't ya you know i thought antsy vaxxers were the worst thing but this guy might just be a little worse now you'll see what i'm saying most people who don't have 140 to 150 iqs really can effectively differentiate between johnson and johnson and other vaccines we need a clear message the fact that you said we makes you think that like you're under that iq thing just saying such are so smart best case is they permanently pause johnson and johnson vaccine and make clear that oh my god i'm so bad this one's name moderna advisor vaccines use a different technology to be fair you have to have very high iq to understand the vaccination effort the differences between mrn and ando viruses are extremely subtle and without a solid grasp of mononymology most of the public health messaging will go over a typical american's head agreed i understood all those words moral of the story school wasn't intellectually challenging enough for me during my freshman year with attendance issues yet stunningly high grades my guidance counselor maybe should have offered some guidance i was already taking advanced classes but ap and ip weren't even a thought i honestly still don't know the difference because i graduated high school with credits that also were college credits that were so worth a whole college semester so like i don't know i shouldn't have been punished for being smart with good grades but having missed days i learned different and needed different i didn't fit into the very outdated colonial system of school that was designed for farming schedules first of all public schools do kind of suck they don't really care about their students let's be honest except for a few good teachers but also if you were this smart you would not be complaining about it online you would go out of your way to find extra curricular learning advantages to better yourself even though you're bored as hell in class you have no idea about my education about about all right why don't you add an e and look up my name i impression royalty and german nobility dating back to frederick the great i took math and sciences in the seventh grade that you will probably never see in your entire lifetime okay cool good for you voracious consumer of information trivia and educational material alike i enjoy conversations that are engaging even on an intellectual level but a sounding smart is exhausting so let's talk about deep meaningful things and in the same breath sound dumb together and do dumb stuff while claiming to be smart because why not like too short i'm here for the process not the outcome if you know what i mean swipe right i think she wants a booty call i think that's all they're looking for is a booty call that's the smart way of saying i want a booty call well if you made it this far hopefully if you're looking for a booty call you're getting it anyways feel free to like comment subscribe let us know let's see more down in the comments below have a good day be good people and please don't be these jerks

Channel: EzPz

Views: 37,203

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, Iamverysmart

Id: r3Wmqw2Y4X0

Length: 19min 52sec (1192 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 16 2021