Relationship Goals 2020

such exciting days in Atlanta these last few days and I if you were there I'm so thrilled you are if you weren't we'll run it back next year so come to New York in 2021 that's gonna be pretty incredible but so amazing to be in a room it was 65,000 plus 18 to 25 year olds that came from all 50 states over 1,700 unique campuses and universities and over 83 different countries all gathered in the name of Jesus to worship Him and get on his page is pretty incredible to think about the impact in cities and countries around the world from a gathering like that is pretty staggering and I'm thinking about it it's not just Lord might they make an impact although I hope they do they're already making an impact I don't know if you saw that we got some claps for it but if you missed it that group of college students raised 1.2 million dollars to get the scriptures translated into languages that don't currently have them so they're already changing the world and Lord knows what might happen in the future so it's pretty exciting and so welcome to the story of what God's doing whether your New Year's was that epic or whether it was pretty lame I don't know but you're here right now on a journey with us a passion it's pretty awesome to stand in what God is doing and you know my prayer in those days and really this last month it's really in my heart been been out of the word of Jeremiah the Prophet there's a moment in Jeremiah where the Lord says stand at the crossroads and look for the ancient paths and ask where the good way is and walk in that and you'll find rest for your souls and I just kept praying that looking over that room I'm like this is a young generation that's standing at the crossroads what paths are they gonna travel down in 2020 that will define their life and my hope is what I believed they were doing is while standing at that crossroads they were asking the Lord show us the ancient paths show us the good way and we want to walk in that in the midst of the complexity and chaos of a present day show us your path God that we might walk in that and find rest for our souls and that was my prayer for them and that's my prayer for you as pastor here at this church if you've been here a long time with us and by a long time I mean a year and a half and that's how long we've been here or if this is your first Sunday we're so glad you're here but my prayer for you is that as you're standing at the crossroads of this new year we've all got our hopes and different techniques you know we've got our new year's resolutions or I want to lose this amount of weight or I want to gain this amount of weight or I want to make this career change or I want to finally write that book or I'm gonna finally meet that somebody and we've got a bunch of techniques and plans which honestly may or may not work out I don't know so we'll talk more about your goals for New Year's next week we'll give you a chance to kind of get a running start into January and see how they're working for you we'll do some talks on shame and forgiveness and things like that but my hope is that as we're standing at this crossroads we would ask the Lord you know what I don't know what twists and turns this path is bringing but if I can walk with you will you show me the good way because I promise you when you walk with Him you're gonna find rest for your soul that's what he's offering so as we looked at today we were going to talk about different things we could talk about your finance we talked about your career we can talk about all these different places but as we're doing this I wanted to start by talking about our relationships all of us here where you're married or single or want to be married or don't want to be married wherever we are we all long to love and be loved and we've got questions about relationships how do we navigate them well and so I want to look for the ancient road and so by doing that I want to get perspective on 2020 by looking back at an earlier 20s and I don't necessarily want to look back at the 1920s I think a lot of people are doing that but it's interestingly in America in the 1920s changes in technology and urbanization had brought confusion into courtship and dating in society nobody really knew how to meet one another and I know that's hard to imagine changes in technology and urbanization confusing dating scripts what do you mean then just just take it by faith a century ago that was an issue so the 1920s has no answer for you so 1820s no I don't do that 1720s No roll it all the way back to 20 20 BC because as far as scholars can tell and it is difficult to map all this right but scholars all agree that the text we're about to look at together in Genesis 24 the events in those passages happened in 20 20 BC so I want to look at the ancient path I don't want to roll back to the og 20 20 and I want us to see the longest chapter in Genesis charts a course if we're gonna watch the patriarch Isaac eat Rebekah and we're gonna see some principles and we're gonna see some practices but what I love about it the most is we're gonna see it through a story so I don't know if you thought we were gonna begin the new year with me giving you 20 things you need to do in 2020 I'm not giving you a bunch of things I'm gonna show you a story of how God weaves together young love that will hopefully encourage us as we live out our story amen sound good buddy ready for that all right how about you way in the back that can't even see me and I can't see you you ready for this way back there Parrinello well lord thank you for these few minutes around your word help us now as we look at it give us a vision of what it would look like in 2020 to walk by faith with you and show us that walk of faith in the story of Abraham and Isaac and Rebekah and I just want to invite you if you're willing to take him in and ask him say lord please teach me this morning and then if you would play pray for me that the Lord would use me and I'd be helpful to you well father we love you we trust you use this time we pray in Jesus name well Genesis 24 starts by talking about Abraham the father of faith and when Genesis 24 begins he's in a pretty good spot it says in verse 1 now Abraham was old advanced in age and the Lord had blessed Abraham in every way now that does not sound like the beginning of a story that sounds like the end of a story it sounds like happily ever after and he was blessed in every way the and you're like well what's left well we're gonna see something very serious is left in verse 2 it says Abraham said to his servant the oldest of his household who had charge of all that he owned please place your hand under my thigh and I will make you swear by the Lord the God of heaven and the god of Earth now we'll talk in a minute about what he made him swear but I want you to see the author of Genesis is letting you know that the conversation that our Father of our faith Abraham is about to have is very serious and he shows us that in three ways that Abraham doesn't just call a servant he calls his oldest and most trusted servant the one who had been there the longest and had proven faithful was in charge of everything he had he's like I want my best guy and then not only does he call his best guy he says I'm gonna make you swear in the name of the Lord who made heaven and earth that would have tipped off to the servant right away this is not a normal conversation you don't make someone swear by the name of God in heaven earth to pay the light bill so something's going down here that's significant and then Abraham says before I do it I want you to place your hand under my thigh now commentators all agree that that statement is a euphemism for putting your hand on the reproductive parts of a human being so welcome to church that just got weird what is that about man well what it's letting you know something very serious is happening here this is not a normal earth you don't do this every day what is this about why would he make him do that well there's really two things and they're probably combined number one is that it's a symbol of posterity I'm talking to you about my family that's gonna come forth from me Abraham we call father Abraham because God told him in Genesis 12 I'm gonna bless you and then through your seed your offspring all the nations will be blessed and Abraham's here and God's given him a son Isaac but God has blessed Abraham but for Abraham to be a blessing to the world that's gonna come through his kids and so Isaac needs to have a kid but Isaac has no wife and so here's the problem in the story Isaac needs to meet somebody so that being blessed by God they can be a blood see how many of us are praying right now that God would bless me how many of us are praying that God through me would bless generations that's Abraham's concerned God through my family you and a blessed generations after me and so that means my sons gotta get married he's got to have a kid so part of this is about posterity and that's why he's holding this particular part of the other part is when God issued the covenant to Abraham he had him get circumcised as an image of the Covenant I am binding together with you and I promise you I'm gonna bless you and through your seed bless the whole world which we find out as the story continues the seed of Abraham is Jesus and so this is also about the Covenant it's the sign of the Covenant which is what I love the commentator Adam Clarke says it this way he put his hand on the part that bore the mark of circumcision and you're like that's just so appropriately spoken Adam Clarke for a very unique moment why am I telling you all this it's to let you know this is a serious issue and I want to pause on that for a minute because I want you to note some people in here we prayed to God for big things but then there's things in our heart we longed for that we think are maybe too embarrassing and too small to pray to God about and some of us mean we want to pray God be glorified your name be lifted up but the longings of our heart it may be specifically the longing for romance I talk to a lot of people who feel ashamed about that and I need you to see something the longest chapter in the book of Genesis is about how a man and a woman meet God cares about your romantic life God cares about the love of your life this is a serious issue that God wants you to enjoy being married that doesn't mean everybody will but God values your romantic life and you need to know that and be comforted by that he cares about your love life so much so that in Ephesians 3 Paul calls him the father from whom every family on earth is named that God delights in bringing forth families and so this is about family right and so who you marry is important the fact that you want to get married is important and specifically who this is the nature of Abraham's here he makes him swear that you shall not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites among whom I live but you will go to my country and to my relatives and take a wife for my son Isaac so the nature of what he makes him swear this is about that my lineage this is about my son's wife I want you to go find her which arranged marriages were common in that day and so he was asking him to do that but the one thing he made him swear is don't take a woman from the Canaanites now what's the deal with it his neighbour ham racist no it's not about race it's about allegiance that Abraham was living among people that did not have an allegiance to God they didn't worship the same God as Abraham and the outworking of their life had some real brokenness to it the Canaanites had a very broken sexual ethic and cultures that have a very broken sexual ethic typically result in women and children being exploited and women lose and men children lose and then ultimately men lose as well and a dynamic like that and Abraham as he lives and loves and ministers among a broken people says you know what my son doesn't need to marry a woman from here the love of God extends to everybody but who's in your inner ring you want it to someone who has the same allegiance as you so he says go back to the old country and find somebody who still has a remembrance of the worship of God you want to marry a person of faith you want your love to extend to everybody but when you think about your inner ring who are the people that define you you want people around you that will run with you in lockstep and the purposes of God and I want to encourage you whether it's about dating or not in this season of your life your love is meant to extend jesus said even to your enemies but I want to challenge you as you think about who I'm gonna move through life with the Bible tells you don't be deceived bad company corrupts good morals but we're meant to flee youthful lust and pursue righteousness along with those who call out to God out of a pure heart you want to get around pure hearted people that want to run with you after the purpose of God make your inner ring a ring of faith you want to marry a man or woman of faith right and yet notice just a believer won't do the servant responds with a question and he says suppose the woman's not willing to follow me to this land should I take your son back to the land from where you came that seems like a reasonable question the servant is about to go 500 miles back to the old country to meet this girl right which has a sermon within itself I talked to some people's like well there's just no good guys right here there's no good girls right here mouths I mean this guy's about to ride 500 miles and so if you're looking around your social circle and say man there's no good people in my social circle move get on your camel and ride like get around a different crew of people right and so he says hey and yes what seems to be a very reasonable request what if I go back there and she don't want to move 500 miles should I tell your son to come back you know maybe she's got a good job right maybe she's up for a promotion she's got some stability with her family shouldn't he kind of acquiesce to those purposes in her life and Abraham responds by saying they where she take my son back there he says don't you dare now what's going on with that is Abraham a chauvinist well no he gives you his reasons in verse 7 the Lord the God of heaven who took me from my father's house and from the land of my birth and who spoke to me and who swore to me saying to your descendants I'll give this land he will send his angel before you and you will take a wife or my son from there why does Abraham not want the boy to go back well we talked about this over December that God grabbed Abraham and said I want you to move to what we notice over time becomes a strategically important strip of real estate the center of the world the prophets will call it because this God positions his man of faith there and blesses Abraham with seed Jesus will be born at a time and in a place where the gospel can spread rapidly God strategically moves Abraham to this particular land so it's not just a preference for the trees there it was the calling of faith that led Abraham there Abraham and Isaac were living on the cutting edge of faith and so what kind of woman would not go with them one that was not willing to live by faith how many of you know it's a big difference between saying I have faith and walking by faith and frankly I don't care if somebody says I have a bunch of faith you want to watch their life and say but is it affecting the way they live he says I don't don't just want a girl that says she's a believer I meet a woman who's willing to walk under the cutting edge of faith my son and I are living with so much faith in God we are leaned out so far on him that if God's not real we will land on our face but if God is real the world will see the glory of God in a human life and my boy needs a girl who's gonna walk with that same kind of faith she's got to be on the cutting edge right with him they need to run together you want to be knit together with a man or a woman of faith who was walking by that faith so I remember I had a friend that decided to run a marathon and he trained with a co-worker and they had agreed upon a pace they wanted to finish him it's like we want to finish by this amount of time we got a run at this pace but they didn't live by each other so they decided to train independently and so he trained faithfully every day she did not she's kind of eight chips watch TV and stuff like that so when the day of the race came he was there and he was ready to run man we came ready for this race I'm prepared you wanted to run but as they would run she would cramp up be fatigued but but then kind of guilt him so he didn't want to leave her so they had to stay together and so he's gonna limp it along and pull it off and after a while you go this was really frustrating experience because we weren't equipped to run at the same pace my sister and I ran a marathon and she was an avid runner and I didn't want her to beat me so we trained together every single day and we built up my muscles built up hers and so when the day of the race come we could run lockstep in stride the whole way and not just running stride but we were in such good shape we could run in stride and laugh and joke and talk with each other and enjoy it and that was fun and let me tell you something relationally you want the same thing you don't want to bind yourself together with someone that you're having to drag to church drag into the things of faith dragged into being involved in what gods do in the city you don't want that that will be frustrating to you and frustrating to them it's not fun to drive people and it's really not to be drag you want someone that says I've got my eyes on the same prize as you and we are running together and the purposes God has for us you want someone who's not just a man or a woman of faith but is walking by that faith right don't settle for less and I love Abraham's mindset in it the Lord the God of heaven and earth who took me from my father's house and from the land of my birth and who spoke to me and swore to me saying to your descendants I will give this land he will send his angel before you and will take away from my son from there I love that Abraham has such faith the servants like what if she won't come back what if she won't ride what if she don't like camels what if she's not into him what are we gonna do and Abraham's like the God who led me this far will lead us into the next stage see that Abraham has the peace that comes from prayer of I trust who God is if I can trust God with my redemption I can trust God with my romance and so he looks and says you know what the God who saved me is the same God who can provide a mate for my son and that's true and it's funny though I talked to believers all the time they were like I trust God trust him with what trust him to forgive all my sin to cleanse me to adopt me into his family that when I die and they put my body in the dirt my soul will rise to be with him and one day he will recreate the whole earth wow that's amazing but do you trust him with your money oh no I'm not sure he knows what he's talking about this is 20/20 I'll handle money my way what about with relationships no his kind of advice on relationships a little dated I'd better work my own angles so you trust him with your eternal soul but you don't trust him with tomorrow or February hey the same God who's in charge of my Redemption you can trust with your romance if I can trust him with my soul I can trust him with his spouse and Abraham says I trust him let me be a man of faith I trust God but then look at his perspective in verse 8 but if the woman is not willing to follow you you will be free from this my oath only do not take my son back from there he says God's gonna provide for us I'm not worried about and if he doesn't provide then don't worry about it just don't let my son back up in faith I would rather him be single than settle not great that's the same for you too my son's got to walk by faith and if he can't meet a girl that's willing to do that it's better to be single than to settle and I had a mentor say it once and I never forgot it he said the loneliness of singleness is not ass waged by the loneliness of laying in a king-sized bed next to someone who cannot speak with you about the deepest issues in life you wait to meet someone that loves the same God and not just as a general interest in spirituality but the two of you have a commitment to God the Father who sent God the son to live a perfect life and die in a cross from you get buried raised from the dead so he could send forth God the spirit to fill you and change you that the two of you could walk into the purpose God has prepared for you to walk into you want that kind of relationship now we're running together and I'm gonna wait for that one and I will not settle I'd rather be single been settled that's Abraham's command and so on verse nine the servant placed his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master and swore to him concerning this matter and the servant took ten camels from the camels of his master set out with a variety of good things of his master in his hand and he arose and went to Mesopotamia to the city of naor so now we got the general principles you want to be a person of faith you want to be knit together with people walking by faith right and you don't want to settle for any less now we're gonna watch the servant begin to do that he and camels walking through the desert how is this gonna work tons of mystery but now we're gonna watch not just some general principles we're gonna look at some practicals and the first thing is if you note you got to go to the right place it says the servant went to the city of nahor Nahor is not the name of a city Nahor is the name of abraham's brother and that makes sense if I gotta find a relative of Abraham let me go to his relative's house that's pretty logical right if you want to find somebody go to their house if you want to find somebody's kids go to their house I want to find a child of Abraham okay go to the child of Abraham's house yeah that make sense it's the same spiritually I want to marry a son of God I want to marry a daughter God I wanna marry a child of God then go to God's house that doesn't sound too crazy does it you know I meet people all the time they're like man I want to meet somebody that really has a spiritual component to their life well didn't go to church that's where they're at through a high concentration of Lamar you're upping your percentages and yet I talk to people all the time there's like there's no good men right here it's no good men it's no good men in the world and it makes me crazy because I lead and mentor a small group of men that I know are walking by faith and making a difference in the name of Jesus and so I was on a podcast today and a lady said that what are you saying the number one question I get is where all the good men where they all go and I'm like man I sit around with a circle of lion faced men who are walking with Jesus and are inspiring to me I'm like they're out don't say they're not out there so if you can't find him you just might be looking in the wrong house like I don't know like it's like someone saying I'm looking for kangaroos and going to Wyoming then being like there's no kangaroos here no such thing as kangaroos no there's kangaroos you're just in the wrong state on the wrong continent you gotta move if you want to move where the kangaroos are right and I'll talk to people that I remember speaking at a church in Texas where all these people were together in this church wonderful people seeking the Lord and and the majority I'm we did a survey we're trying to meet somebody online for their romantic relationships and I'm not gonna knock online dating I have people that have met the person they love and have great marriages from online dating but but I look at them and I'm like man just think for a second like if you're looking for a son of God a daughter I've got someone really walking with God is everyone in this room that kind of person no is that one in this room ready for relationship no there's a lot of knuckleheads in this room let's go ahead and say that but look at your percentages maybe nine out of ten single guys in this room are a mess that still gives you 1 out of 10 that are pretty solid what's your percentage on tinder it's like one in a thousand like you've significantly diluted the pool I'm just I'm just inviting you to play the percentages okay so go to church that's that's the point whether you want to get married or not I want to date someone or not you want to be in a circle of people who are running by faith right your practical tips on how to survive the new year may or may not come unraveled by Monday but God doesn't unravel and your path into the future might veer into the woods but if you can walk with the author and perfecter of our faith you can have peace no matter where you are in the path I want you to walk with Him and you walk with Him you'll walk with his people you want to be where they are and if you want to marry someone that's running like that you got to go where they are if you want to meet a kid go to their father's house so that's where you want to be so I want to encourage you make it a priority this year I'm gonna pursue the things of God I'm gonna be in church so he shows up and verse 11 it says he made the camels kneel down outside the city by the well of water at evening time the time when women go out to draw water see this guy's smart that's tip number 2 go where the women are ma'am but notice what kind of women the women who are working it's got the kind of woman you want to marry this was the kind of guy you want to marry to but you want to marry someone who's working and this is important all through the Bible godly women are women who aren't afraid to work you see that Moses his wife was a shepherdess you see that the Shulamite and Song of Solomon she worked in a vineyard that ruth was gleaming in the fields and that proverbs 31 woman act she is like buy and selling real estate she's got like a textile business she's making moves folks and you see in Proverbs 31 17 she Gerdes herself with strength and makes her arms strong you want a woman like that that says I'm not waiting in life I'm moving or word and advancing using the gifts God's giving me you want to be around someone like that when I was single I remember praying I don't want to meet my wife at like a singles mixer and I'm not against singles mixers but but I was praying like lord I want to find her on the mission field I want to be out there working and I want to find her working I want to be running and meet her running and so I remember I was speaking at a Christian event and then saw Donna herd band was leading worship and as I learned more about her she was disciple yang women and leading a Bible study and and doing different missionary endeavors and I look and I was like that's the kind of woman I want to be with one that then I'm not dragging along but I'm trying to keep pace with and you want to marry somebody that's worked you want an industrious person an industrious just generally in life don't marry somebody lazy right they'll frustrate you to no end when someone's got to pay the bills or cleaning a house you still want to marry a lazy person but then also you want to find workers that are working and so if you want to marry a worker go where they're working and so I want to encourage you get involved and keep coming here on Sundays and I'm meeting more and more people that are just attending here in Sundays and I think that's awesome because we're all in different places in our journey of faith and some of you're like man I don't know what I think about all this or maybe I've had some hurts in my past or I'm trying to heal up I'm not ready to like serve serve serve I need a heal heal heal and this is a place for you but if you've been here for several months I want to invite you get involved start to step into the work I tell people all the time when I stand out front I was like you know Sunday's are pretty great here but you know where all the action is is when you work alongside these people become what we call it door holder someone who serves in the church and I can see people usually like not believe me they think I'm just trying to like say something to get some free labor out of them they're like well we'll see you like I don't really know you don't tell me what to do you don't know me and I'm I'm just saying I've watched people decide to serve together and is there around other people that are working want to make a difference here like on this stage you know people who are leading worship today like our lawyers and we're gonna tech field and a cop and you know this is not like this isn't their jobs these are people in the city they're like I'm gonna make a difference he starts alongside people like that sir ministering alongside people like that you build relationships and I've watched over this last year-and-a-half them become roommates and become best friends and prayer partners and that's a great mix you want to be in if like I want to be a part of a community that's moving and so if you want someone that's a worker you got to work alongside the workers right that's where you want to be I want to move with the movers if I want to marry someone moving and so he goes to the well that's where the right women are at but then notice what he does when he gets there verse 12 he says Oh Lord the God of my master Abraham please grant me success today and show loving-kindness to my master Abraham I love that that's your next tip he immediately invites God into the process Lord before I start making moves I want to meet with the maker and I would encourage you as you enter 2020 whether you're into dating or not make that your prayer before I start trying to make all my moves I want to meet with the maker because all my stuff may not work out but your plans never fail and I remember I had a mentor tell me long ago he said when I wake up every morning I pray then I plan then I proceed I was like okay but then as I got into my work life in ministry I started to realize when I wake up that kind of heart beat fast if I've got a procedure I got a workbook where I gotta go go go hits me as soon as I wake up in the morning but I'm not usually efficient in that in that mind state and and I'm not usually doing the right things or doing things the right way and so I've developed over time the discipline of saying when I start in the morning I'm gonna begin in prayer offering up to the Lord the things I'm concerned about offering up to him what I'm dealing with why because when I cast my cares on him the peace that surpasses understanding guards my heart that's what Philippians promises us and as his peace guards my heart I'm able to plan more efficiently and proceed and more valuable activities and I want to encourage you make prayer a priority in 2020 then I'm gonna come to the Lord because unless the Lord builds this house we labor in vain who build it and I don't want any of my work to be in vain so he comes in and says Lord before I start making moves here at this well I want to consecrate this moment you're a God who loves us I'm asking for your love to show up in this moment and he invites the Lord into the process I'd do that all the time incidentally when I stand out there if you're ever wondering what's in my mind while I'm talking to people I always pray when I enter a conversation Lord be honored in this conversation help me care about this person as much as you care about them help me say things that are wise and helpful I'm always praying when I enter into moments trying to develop that discipline and I would encourage you to do the same and I want to challenge the older people in the room to I want you to notice this isn't Isaac praying that God will hook them up with a wife this is the old servant praying for Isaac and Rebekah okay so I know we're talking about dating here and relationships and some of us in this room might be in the older set and we go oh I don't know if this is church for me there's a young people church let me tell you something maybe you're here to pray for this young generation maybe you're here to intercede for them in the midst of a confusing and chaotic day that God would bring them clarity and peace maybe you can be part of the solution and sometimes the older generation throughout society when we watch a young generation struggle we tend to fold our arms and be like kids today back in my day we used to do everything right nothing wrong you know you're like really and we can get bitter and cynical or we can get prayerful and supportive and I don't want to be like this guy praying for the young generation that God would bless them as they enter into the complicated relational dynamics of this world so he comes to him in prayer and you're meant to do the same I had a friend who was a bird photographer and it was something on the side but then he got really good at it he would like build these hides and kind of set up these areas that would attract certain birds and take photos of him it was landing and birding magazines you've probably read it was very exciting but as he became a person of faith he was out there one day and he was trying to set up this this situation where this very particular bird would land and he would get this photo and he's sitting in this hide quietly for hours he's like there's no bird and so he felt this tug in his heart asked me pray for this bird he said I'm gonna pray for a bird like it just felt too small like you the god of the universe god of history I'm not gonna come to and be like you bring a Warbler like you know like I'm gonna do that and he just thought no it's kind of stupid and I didn't want to pray that but then he sees laying there a number time he just kind of feels like ass before asking for it and so finally he's like Lord this is you've got so many bigger things happening in the world but I would really love this particular bird show up right then this bird just lands on his branch so he's like snapping pictures of it crying just like God God cares does that mean you get everything you want just how you want it no no good parent does that but he delights to hear the voice of his kids and he wants you to ask and I loved it the servants like man I met this well and I don't know what I'm doing God will you show up God delights in that and all your ways acknowledge him and he'll make your paths straight so notice the substance of his prayer verse 13 he says behold I'm standing by the spring daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water now may it be that the girl to whom I say please let down your jar so that I may drink and who answers drink you know water your camels also may she be the one whom you have appointed for your servant Isaac and by this I will know that you have shown loving-kindness to my master now I can't affirm that it'll work out this way Lord let the person I'm sitting next to in fashion city church this morning be the person I'm meant to walk with until death do us part behold the loving kindness of God I don't know man I don't know if that's gonna work for you but what I can point out that's good for us is notice the kind of woman he prays for the kind that when he asked for help would not just help him but would go above and beyond and caring for his needs he's asking for a gracious woman now notice again this isn't Isaac there this is an old man so it's not like she sees some hot guy like oh here's some water all right that's not how it works this is an old dude with a bunch of camels and if she'll help me it help these camels she doesn't even know what's what's waiting for he's looking for a gracious woman and proverbs 11 says that a gracious woman attains all that's the kind of woman you want to be when I waited tables in college there's a lot of single people that work there a lot of cute girls guys whatever but there was one particular girl every single guy asked out and by every single guy I mean every single guy like he got to the point where some of us were like hadn't to be her bouncer like hey man she don't know you yeah you know but but here's the thing she was cute but she wasn't physically the cutest one there which I know it's like a horrible thing to say but I'm just trying to be honest with you guys that's my commitment to you and it's very cute but it's not physically computers one but she was so kind and gracious and when she asked you how your day was you were like I think she actually wants to know and she would ask you again about it later and she would not only ask you again about she would have prayed about it and like written down verses she was praying for you and she brought everyone peaches from her family's orchard which was a little random but very sincere and personal and she was just so kind you would watch it confuse these guys even guys I had no allegiance to Jesus we're just drawn her and be like I don't know what it is but I love you it was confusing to them but it's a biblical principle right that a gracious person attains honor it's the same with men and men proverbs 19 says what is desirable in a man is this kindness a lot of people think kindness and generosity are weak things in this culture they're not they might actually open a doorway we had a friend years ago that she did what maybe a lot of people you did in this city wanted to make a difference in the world so she loaded up her little four-door car with all her possessions and drove to DC to change the world and showed up here and they're like good change the world in turn and by answering these phones and she's like okay call you back and so she was doing that and she was working this job and saw this older man come in with like a group of people and he could tell he was confused and lost a little stress and that's not her job or her problem but she just saw this guy and so she got up and was like can I help you of something he's like well someone was supposed to meet us here I'm supposed to show these people into this deal and she was like okay you know what I'm gonna make a call real quick y'all wait right here I'm gonna call these people and we'll take care of that and she called couldn't get me bunny she goes you know what I'll do it what do you need all right and she didn't just point him like good luck maybe try that she kind of walked them into the area they needed to be in help these people get from A to B and just kind of serve them having no idea that the guy she was serving was several levels above her in the city and not a week later she's getting security clearances and making moves for the sake of America and really in this position of authority why because it started by being gracious graciousness attains honor and you have no idea she has no idea that there's an Abraham and an Isaac right behind them camels but before he had finished speaking verse 15 behold Rebekah now I know some of you here that you okay he prays for a girl and before the prayers even done behold Rebekah like whatever you're so fake Bible let me say this Isaac at this time as forty years old okay so yes it happened immediately in this moment after four decades okay so God's timing is perfect may not be yours but his is perfect you just got to wait for your pitch and then swing hard so here it is before he had finished speaking behold Rebecca who was born to Bethuel the son of Milcah the wife of Abraham's brother nee hoor came out with a jar on her shoulder the girl was very beautiful a virgin no man had had relations with her and she went down to the spring and filled her jar and came now it says she's a child in nee hoor this guy does not know that all he sees the woman was jar he doesn't know what's going on but they let us know to kind of let us know God's working out this plan and then it says she's beautiful which was not in the prayer it's just a bonus and then it says she was a virgin no man and laid with her and it mentions that white because it's championing sexual purity which the Bible does all through it first thessalonians says that says let's abstain from sexual immorality so that no one defraud his brother so that i don't take from you something that doesn't belong to me and so the bible champions sexual purity for the sake of relationships if you're not ultimately going to be my wife then I don't need to be in that marriage bed either in person or in memory if some other guy is gonna be your husband in that bed I'm gonna stay away from that right now I say that and all of us in our culture feel that I mean I mean romance is jealous and possessive by its nature I mean you hear it in secular love songs that have no religious allegiance when they feel betrayed someone I love is with someone else there's a deep wounding from that love has a possessive quality that can be unhealthy or or it can be appropriate and so the Bible champions purity for the sake of our marriage relationships and it's meant to champion that there's a lot of reasons to and we don't get into all that but I want to point out something that's particularly in this situation the bible does champion that but i want you to notice it wasn't a requirement of abraham's and it was not a requirement of the servants because it is not a requirement of god's god doesn't do that why because look at the genealogy of Abraham when it shows up at the beginning of the Gospels and you see Abraham's line lead all the way to Jesus you know the genealogies the part you never read beginning the Gospels you look through those names and it is filled with people whose sexual experience was not pristine Judah who went to prostitutes right David who committed adultery Rahab who was a prostitute Bathsheba you see people whose sexual lives did not fall in line with God's best and yet God delights to not just forgive but to redeem restore and let them be a part of the main narrative of his story they're the the fathers and mothers of Jesus and it's the same with us the church is called the bride of christ jesus' bride did not come to the altar pure none of us are jesus married a bride who went down many wayward paths and he loves us still and he delight to forgive and restore and to cleanse and to run with us and so the Bible championed sexual purity for our good not to oppress us and there's more we could say about that we don't have time today but it is not a prerequisite for you to have a beautiful loving powerful marriage in Jesus name so I talked to so many people that as they approach marriage they feel a shame over choices they wish they had made in the past and let me tell you something you're not meant to live in that shame God delights to forgive to restore to bless you are never too far gone you are never too far to get into the middle of God's best you believe in them and you may have to look into somebody's face I've counseled so many couples that have walked into that pain I say hey you may need to look at that person say hey I made a lot of decisions in my younger years I'm not proud of but when I started walking with the Lord seriously it changed some things in my life and my perspective and my decisions about my finances about my career and about my body and I changed it to honor him and to honor you and that would be a good thing to say and so we're meant to pursue it but it's not a prerequisite do you see it and yet this servant comes up and all he knows at this point is it's a hot girl carrying a water jug which looks sometimes that's all you get so is that a bad way to start the conversation no you just got it it's got to start somewhere so he's like she seems nice and so in verse 17 the servant random eater and he delivers his line please let me drink a little water from your jar now watch your response she says drink my lord she addresses him with a respectful title she's respectful to an old man that's very sweet and she quickly lowers her jar to her hand and gives him a drink not only does she serve Him she doesn't certainly begrudgingly like whatever did right she's a she's quick to serve him and now when she had finished giving him a drink she said I will also draw for your camels until they have finished drinking so she quickly emptied her jar into the trough and ran back to the well to draw water and she drew for all of the camels meanwhile the man was gazing at her silence to know whether the Lord had made his journey successful or not that's the other tip it's you just want to watch and learn it's looking good so far she's hot she got a water jug asked her drink BAM and then she's like let me give some water your camels he's like okay then he just watches just slow it down a beat let me see what I'm dealing with here let me see if she loses hard at camel number four let me see if she quits by five like how many camels you got let's just watch her and that's what you want to do watch watch and learn I remember when I was in college I walked into the lunchroom as I saw a girl friend of mine it was very attractive girl getting hit on by this guy and I didn't hear the whole substance their conversation but it looked a little tense and I remember when I walked in I heard him say the statement well how are you gonna get to know me if you don't go out with me and I heard her say I'm sorry it's not gonna happen and then he walked off and I remember in that moment two thoughts came to my mind one were all the girlfriends I had talked to that had gone on dates with guys because they felt pressured and then arrived in a moment with that guy where not only did they not like him they didn't feel safe and I had a lot of girls I care about tell me some scary stories and then I also thought about the fact that my sister was about to be a freshman in college and I wanted her to have the resolve this girl did to shut that fool down and so I walked right up to him was like Jedi Master teach me your ways for I have a young sister who must know them and I was like how did you do that and she said you know what the Christian community on this campus is pretty small and she said I have never seen that guy worshipping serving reading the Bible caring about anybody I've never seen him doing anything I watch people of faith do every single day so he's not getting a shot with me and so she says I'm gonna watch first and that's a good that's a good tip and so I passed that along to my sister and she watched and then married a very wonderful man and I take all the credit for that decision so he watches her camel eight keval nine camels ten verse 22 and when the camels had finished drinking the man took the gold ring Wang half a shekel can you believe it and two bracelets for her wrist weighing ten shekels in gold and said whose daughter are you please tell me is there room for us to lodge in your father's house and she says to him I am the daughter of Bethuel the son of Milcah whom she bore to Nahor and again she said we have plenty of oaths Tron feed and room to lodge in and the man bowed low and worshiped the Lord which probably freaked her out a little bit but then he said blessed be the Lord the God of my master Abraham who's not forsaken his loving-kindness and his truth towards my master and as for me the Lord has guided me in the way to the house of my Master's brothers he's like this is unbelievable I just started walking having no idea walking by faith and God didn't just bring me to the right person he brought me to the right person of the family serving graciously happens to be hot right here this is amazing and that's the kind of spirits you want you want to be knit together with somebody that the fact that you get to be with them makes you drop to your knees and worship the Lord that's what you want don't settle for less than that that doesn't mean you need to feel unworthy of them but you want to walk by faith so that when God takes your journey of faith and a community of faiths and begins to weave it together and then you and one person begin to pair off as God designs that is worthy of worship and you want an experience like that didn't the girl ran and told her mother about these things like you do now we'll skip about 30 verses here because the servant shows up at the house and tells this entire story all over again for 30 more verses why does the Bible do that strange book because God likes to spike the ball that's why because gods like I am faithful to fulfill my promises and in case you missed it the first time watch it in the replay tell us the whole story again then it turns out that her uncle and her family are kind of swindlers and they're trying to take advantage of the sky and want him to stick around so they can kill for all these ten shekels worth of gold this guy's carrying around and you realized there begins to be some conflict servants like I got to go there's one in each state he's like no I got to go and they start to get some tension until finally they say well you know what this is Rebecca's decision anyway so they pull her in and then the big question of the text comes they look at her and they say Rebecca will you go with this man what's your choice will you walk by faith and the story gods riding or no and she says I will go let's they sent away their sister Rebecca and her nurse with Abraham's servant and his men and in verse 61 then Rebecca and her young woman rose and rode on the camels and followed that man that's the servant took Rebecca and went his way now Isaac had returned from beer-lahai-roi and was dwelling in the Negev and now as they went out to meditate in the field towards evening and he lifted up his eyes and saw and behold there were camels coming I love the way the author tells that story Isaac is out in the fields meditating so I'm glistening on his brow behold camels now coming and Rebecca lifted up her eyes and when she saw Isaac she dismounted from that camel and said to the servant who is that man walking in the fields to meet us and the servant says it's my master and she took her veil and covered herself and the servant told Isaac all the things he had done the knives ik brought her into the tent of Sarah's mother and took Rebecca and she became his wife and he loved her so heizak was comforted after his mother's death Beauty and the story was a thread of pain to because that's life but it's a story of faith and that's really the story we want us all to live anyway and it's a true story this is what God did to move that scarlet cord through history that would culminate in the arrival of Jesus and then break out into all who put their faith in Him but it's also a picture of our story or could be that God in His mercy sends out servants guys like me to show up in places like this and to let you know there is a master and that master has a son and that son has all the riches of his father at his disposal and that son has a covenant on his life where he will bless the whole world and the question before you is will you trust him and will you walk by faith with his son of the master blessed by him taking his name walking with him into the future God has for us because that's our story God the Father sent His Son Jesus Christ who lived the perfect life you and I could not died our death on the cross buried our shame in the dirt and rose and God said all my authority is on that man the authority of the father goes to the Son and the son sends out into the world any who would come to be a part of the Bride of Christ the church the family of God his faith need only believed the messenger as we proclaim there is a son and he loves you and he has crossed from heaven to earth to meet with you that you put your faith in Him and you may not know all the particularity zuv the journey but you'll know the one writing the story and so my biggest hope for you in 2020 is not that you would perfect your technique but you would get on board with your maker walk with Him into the future he's designing his plans are better his purposes are good and he crossed heaven and earth to unite you with his son we trust him that's the relationship we need more than any other

Channel: Passion City Church DC

Views: 116,958

Rating: 4.9451556 out of 5

Keywords: More Problems, Passion, Passion City Church, Ben Stuart, Passion Sermons, Passion Messages, Ben, Stuart, Mo' Money, Passion D.C., More Money, Washington D.C., relationship goals, relationship, Relationship, relationship advice

Id: tHxSW1BH-1g

Length: 52min 22sec (3142 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 07 2020