r/AmiTheA**Hole For Telling My Blind Date Her Disability Is Her Own Fault?

g'day there guys that one kid that puts his hand up in class to read every time the teacher asks and yet questions why no one class likes him here back at it again with another episode of ah / am i the a-hole now if you love this content like I do I want you to chuckle like on the video sit back relax Chuck a prawn on the barbie and get ready for some bloody good contents posted by user malla Bevan titled am I the a-hole for not wanting to talk about my children that I lost in the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami in 2004 my family and I decided that over the Christmas period we'd go vacation to Thailand my husband had spent some time there as a child and really wanted to go back I had two small children a four year old girl and a two year old boy we arrived on the 23rd of December and would do to go back on the 2nd of January on the 26th Boxing Day a tsunami hit the resort we were staying in I was upstairs in our hotel room when it hits whilst my husband was with our children in the dining area I prayed that my husband had our children whilst I fought for myself my husband and I were reunited three days later and he told me that the tsunami hit before he managed to grab our children we stayed in Thailand for four months hoping our children were being kept somewhere with us presumed dead but after searching pretty much everywhere we presumed the worst and returned home which was the hardest thing we've ever done I didn't deal with the loss well nor did my husband and we ended up divorcing three years later we couldn't even look at pictures of the kids and broke down just looking at each other my family has always been as respectful as they can apart from my mother my mother and I never had a good relationship she was heavily addicted to drugs when I was born and was in and out of my life until I was 15 when she sobered up I was full of resentments and left the family home at 16 and we went about ten years without talking over the quarantine period I've been staying with my sister into a family and they also let my mum live with them my mom will make dinners extremely uncomfortable for me by telling my nieces about the cousins they never got to meet and how she felt when she found out even though we weren't talking at that time last night I finally snaps we were sitting having dinner when my mum asked about how my now ex-husband is I told her I don't know as I don't we haven't spoken that often since we divorced she asked if we'd still be together if the kids were alive I asked how the Freak was I meant to know she told me to stop being a [ __ ] and I told her to stop bringing up the dead children my nieces started getting upset because we were shouting my sister told me to calm down as they're all allowed to grieve to which I completely disagree with I left my sister's house and to a hotel not too far away because I seriously can't take it anymore but my sister has called multiple times telling me I've become a serious a-hole since losing my children am I the a-hole I think it's a typical case of people not going through these experiences not experiencing what this trauma will do to you and not recognizing what the responses are so absolutely RP you were not the a-hole these people don't understand and refuse to come to grips with what you've gone through and I just have no words for them not the a-hole your mum was purposely digging into you for a reaction I'm sorry for your loss and I hope the distance from your family who don't respect your boundaries give you some better peace you could never be the a whole in this situation RP your post made me cry I'm so so sorry this happened to you I can't even imagine how you must feel not the a hole it's like your mom is looking to rub salt in the wound not a hole yes the loss of your children extends to your family and even their friends and your own friends who have met them but no one will feel it greater than you and your husband it sounds like you and your mother / sister grieve in opposing ways you do not want to talk about your children but your mother and sister want to include them in their lives and talk and think about them regularly your mother crossed a line by bringing up your children despite knowing your feelings then again by asking if you and your husband would still be together if they were alive a question that only serves to be extremely nosey cold-hearted and condescending your sister also crossed a line by calling you an a-hole since losing your children it sounds like they simply cannot understand your feelings and think that you should be processing your grief more like they are and it frustrated that you aren't I think getting space away from them and going to the hotel was a great idea but it might be time to think about next steps living with your sister and mother might not be good for mental health and it's may be time to start thinking about a different place to wait out the rest of the quarantine where you won't be bombarded with crap like this and your feelings will be respected the sister is 100% right that everyone gets to grieve and the natural progression to that is that everyone gets to grieve in their own way in their own time which is exactly what Opie was not allowed to do not the a-hole posted by user boyfriend's daughter trouble titles am I the a-hole for asking my boyfriend to stop wearing suits outside of work I know this sounds weird but here goes I've been dating my 47 female boyfriends 52 male for two years we met in a grief counseling group after losing our spouses everything in this relationship has been great our kids get along great I even put his Mother's Day card from his son thanking me for making his dad smile again it was sweet my daughter 19 female adores my boyfriends I was surprised how fast they hit it off because she's very shy but I didn't want to question it so I let it go but as time went on things got weird on Valentine's Day he got me a bouquet and arose for her and she still has it hanging in her room she gets up early every morning to make him a latte and every night when he gets home she's waiting in the kitchen with a beer and a sandwich for him he has back problems so she bought him a computer chair with a massage rollers on its which ticked me off because I am a masseuse I can take care of this man's back just fine I refuse to be replaced by an effing chair I asked my daughter why she keeps doing this stuff and she said she just likes him I asked why to see if I could get more info and she started listing things he's smart funny nice blah blah blah but what stuck out was when she said she loves the way he dresses my boyfriend is a funeral director so he always wears black suits when I first started dating him my daughter would always call him sharp-dressed man saying things like are you gonna go see that sharp dressed man again or when did you get to meet your new sharp dressed man mum my daughter always says she wants to marry a man in a suits so I assumed this was her way of showing approval but now I'm starting to wonder if there's more I've been wanting to suggest that he stopped wearing suits outside work but he loves his suits we just bought a house together and I know he's been looking at rings this man is a chess champion who speaks six languages it doesn't know how to close his laptop when going to the bathroom long so I'm invested in this relationship I love this man and I want to marry him but I'm afraid if I tell him what's on my mind he'll kick my daughter out this all came to a head last night when we were watching a movie and she went up to get drinks when she came back she handed my boyfriend his beer and then tried to sit in his lap I say tried because my boyfriend pushed her off and angrily told her what she did was inappropriate he stormed up to our bedroom and I followed him up to talk to him he started saying that my daughter should start looking elsewhere to stay but I told him about the suit thing that maybe if he just wore normal clothes outside work she wouldn't act so weird he told me I was being ridiculous and we went to bed I made him breakfast this morning but he left to go eat instead he says he's in the McDonald's parking lot now but we're going to have a serious talk when he gets home I don't know what to think am i the a-hole updates on our conversation well it turns out some of you were right and there was a lot of crap I didn't know about an entire crap show his worth in facts my boyfriend showed me several disturbing text messages no actual propositioning or anything just weird stuff like I miss you and are you awake at 2:00 a.m. etc and apparently my daughter had confided in him about a close relationship she had with her basketball coach ride after her and dad died my boyfriend said he kept it a secret because she begged him not to tell me and he didn't want to break her trust I of course was incredibly hurt to hear this but at the same time I understand why he didn't tell me apparently he is the only person she has ever talked to about this it turns out that my daughter has basically been treating my boyfriend like a private therapist for the past several months and he didn't tell me because he wanted to help her he chalked up all the favors to her just showing gratitude for lending in year and didn't realize how she might have felt differently before last night he apologized for insisting on kicking her outs and I apologized for the stupid comment about his suits it was a comment I made out of being in denial and now I realized that she needs therapy when I first started grief counseling I did ask my kids if they wanted counselling they both said no and I didn't want to force it on them when I sat my daughter down to talk about the boundary issue she burst into tears and started apologizing I had an extremely uncomfortable but necessary conversation with her and I told her that I'm going to start looking for a therapist I didn't tell her that I know about the basketball coach because I don't want her to feel betrayed and I'm hoping a professional will be able to get it out of her any more sensitive and controlled manner but so help me God if that mother-fricker ever shows his face in my hometown again and she asks me why I'm in jail I guess I'll have to tell her that I know about it then but for now her healing from the past is my main priority because it really does seem like her dad screwed her up far worse than I thought my boyfriend and I have made up and no one is getting kicked out but things are still pretty awkward she's basically quarantined herself in the basements for now we all just need some space and my boyfriend has already helped me find some good therapists in our area posted by user Roman Melville titled am I the a hole for mansplaining my dates disability at the beginning of lockdown I was bored and on tinder not unusual and met this woman called Lara we began talking and agreed that we should meet up once restrictions had lifted she very early into talking warned me that she was severely deaf but I have met deaf people before this so this didn't bother me she came over to my apartment and we at the beginning really got on well she didn't look exactly like her pictures but I thought it wouldn't hurt getting to know her a little bit's a few minutes after we got situated and comfortable with each other I asked her some questions about herself which she didn't answer as she said they were too personal she then made a comment about her deafness so I took that as an opportunity to tell her that I knew and asked her if she'd ever consider a cochlear implant and such she really interrupted me and told me I was getting some of my facts wrong and when I asked her how she became deaf she said it was meningitis which I was unaware of could cause deafness sir in the moments I laughed and said that wasn't true she left half an hour after getting to my place and said I wasn't listening to her nor was I getting my facts right I got quite irritated by this as I thought it was quite rude so told her I'd walk her back to hers to which she refused saying it was fine I checked my phone later that evening and she'd sent me a long text before blocking me on everything basically saying I'm a massive ass when I've told my friends about the date they've all said that - am I the a-hole Arpi I think it's pretty obvious you're the a-hole heel just because someone's deaf you don't get to explain what caused them to be deaf I'm pretty sure they know why it's a big slap in the face to be told that think you realize that you're an a-hole and you're just looking for closure you're the a-hole you asked a deaf person how she became deaf and then laughed at her and called her a liar because of your own lack of knowledge about the situation the correct response would have been all I didn't know meningitis could cause deafness not haha no you're wrong about the cause of your own disability I'm also amazed someone who claims to have any knowledge on deafness doesn't know meningitis can cause it's like that's fairly well known at least where I'm from it is honestly if I didn't watch switched at birth I wouldn't know meningitis cause deafness but I also wouldn't have reacted as horribly as he did the correct response to this is exactly as the comment is stated above not accuse her of she rudely interrupted me imagine having the audacity to interrupt someone as they try to explain your disability to you that's sarcasm you're a troll or this really happened either way you're the a-hole yep apparently the polite thing for her to do would have been to sit there wide-eyed listening and then when he's finished talking saying Wow I believed the doctors when they said it was meningitis but it turns out I was wrong and I never seriously considered a cochlear implant until you explained their benefits just now I'm gonna go get one you're so much smarter than me and that makes you me attracted to you let's screw posted by user throw away 86 titled am i the a-hole for refusing to stop having a relationship with my entire daughter because my girlfriend is uncomfortable I've known my best friend Brenda since we were kids I was the first person she came out to his lesbian when we were in our senior year of high school and fully supported her she met her current wife in college and they got married six years later when I was 27 they both talked to me about wanting to start a family they asked if I would consider being their sperm donor because they wanted someone they trusted rather than a stranger and who would be there when their child started to have questions about their donor I was honored that they thought of me and agreed to do it it felt good to help people I care about start their own family we went through the whole process and a year later Brenda gave birth to their daughter Lucy after Lucy Lawless of course since she was born I've always wanted to be present in her life and we have a great uncle and niece type relationship the three of us have been happy with how things are and they're glad I'm close with Lucy she's already been told of how she came into the worlds without the full details and while she knows I helped build their family I'm uncle Stephen to her three years after she was born I began dating my girlfriend I didn't tell her about Lucy till four months in and it took her time to process this but she eventually came around we've been together three years now and planning on getting married last week was Lucy's sixth birthday and we were both at their house after cake was cut we all started taking pics I told my girlfriend to come so we both could get one with Lucy but she said no didn't think nothing of it until I noticed she was distant and hardly interacting with anyone we talked after we got home and she said she didn't feel comfortable with me seeing Lucy anymore because it still felt weird that I donated sperm and now I'm playing a role in her life when donors don't do that this was a shock to me because she never brought it up before when I said I wasn't gonna stop she got frustrated and it became a huge fight she didn't understand why I had to be in Lucy's life and it felt unfair that she has to share me with someone who's not my legal responsibility at one point she asked if Brenda and I slept together and came up with this turner idea to cover the fact that I knocked her up and that's why I'm involved again we were both angry but asking that was out of line I told her I'll never cut off my relationship with them and left our apartments she's still been trying to convince me for days and to also consider her feelings in all of this to her it's unreasonable to choose a kid that'll never truly be mine over her someone I can have a future and start a family with I feel bad that she feels this way but it seems like she's not being fair either it's been rough and I don't know who's right or wrong she's making me feel like the bad guy here and I need a neutral party's help and I the a-hole I think no your girlfriend is being somewhat bigoted towards these people I feel like she's not outwardly being that way but Jesus what excuses do you have to cut this one out of your life you made that choice to have that kid in your life you chose that before you started the relationship with her she committed to the relationship she had to accept the fact that the kid was part of your life she can't become jealous now and destroy that I don't think it's worth keeping that woman in your life if she's gonna be that way Oh be not the a-hole Wow your girlfriend is angry you have a relationship with your biological child for red flags you are not the a-hole and you do not want to have any kind of permanent relationship with someone who would sever your ties to your biological child run and run now came here to save run not the a-hole but I also don't see how you two are compatible from this standpoint this seems like an impasse and something a girlfriend thought she was okay with and changed her mind or didn't know of the full scope of what she was getting into when she said it was fine with her but you do what is right for you anyone trying to change that especially when if I remember right you've been in herb life before your girlfriend was in yours well that's asking a lot it's asking a lot of you to expect you to ghost this little girl and it's selfish too if your girlfriend wanted to be in your life she would be happy to share you with a six year old girl who has a life of her own not asking you to go sir I agree maybe the girlfriend was okay with the idea but when actually faced with the reality she realized she couldn't handle it and that's okay if she recognizes why it's a deal-breaker for you it sounds like it is the comments about not wanting to be around kids that aren't yours is weird did none of her friends have children the girlfriend seems either young or just emotionally immature based on this Opie you're not the a-hole please keep nurturing Lucy it sounds like you and her mothers are giving her a rich life full of love don't let someone dictate your relationships and good luck Opie I guess I just don't really understand what there is to handle about this situation it's somewhat unconventional in principle yes but I really don't see how it's any different in practice than him having a nice it's not like he's paying child support or has custody he's present in her life the way an uncle would be while I personally agree with you not everyone sees it that way I'm just saying that accepting an idea is different than accepting a practice I'm also not damming the girlfriend for feeling that way but she does need to recognize that this situation isn't for her that's okay but she shouldn't try to change Opie or his family dynamic posted by user snoo 32 512 titled am I the a-hole for taking $15,000 out of my daughter's college fund to buy myself a new car I have an eight-year-old daughter and to make college more easily accessible for her my ex-wife and I each put money into a shared fund for her my ex-wife and I do not get along but we make an effort for the sake of our daughter at the end of last year my car basically blew up completely blew a gasket broke down every time I drove it and ended up being written off my current wife and I decided to save for a new car and to wait for one I was sure that I wanted as I loved my old car on my way home from work I Drive past a really high-end car dealership basically sells vintage top class cars they're absolutely beautiful but I've never went in because they're extremely expensive a few days ago I drove past it and thought why not I'll have a look and just not buy anything I walked in and saw a truly beautiful Mustang rang my wife and told her I'd found the car I wanted we hadn't saved enough sir I used the money from our savings and without thinking dipped into the college fund my ex-wife and I have for our daughter it was just under $15,000 I rang my ex-wife after I'd bought it to tell her and assured her that I'd put the money back in but she went ballistic telling me that she basically just paid for my car as she put some more money in monthly than I do I said that was ridiculous and that it doesn't matter because it's my money too she's now going on about suing me and all sorts which is just ridiculous am I the a-hole feel like it's a troll post but I'll bites yes you're the a-hole for doing that you know you're the a-hole you just wanted a shiny new Mustang look at you you're so special you're the a-hole you stole from both your wife and your daughter to irresponsibly buy a car that you can't afford I hope this is a troll no one can be this dense I'm seriously glad I live in a country where this would not be possible he would be able to pay into the accounts for his child's but he would not be able to open closed or withdraw without the other parent presence if he wanted to do anything alone you'd have to bring court orders showing you have sole custody he's a crack parents and I have high doubts he'll pay that money back I hope the mum does sue him America is something called a five to nine account that this would be difficult to do with they're just not using it so the account is probably just a normal joint accounts in the parents names that they're calling a college funds I think you're right this is probably the case in either case Opie is the a-hole and I'm glad he's being sued over his BS posted by user elena brough Dhin titled mi the a-hole for telling my daughter-in-law she needs to let my son be in the delivery room instead of her mother my daughter-in-law katie is currently 37 weeks pregnant with my first grandchild a baby girl I really love Katie her and my son have been together about six years now and I have a good relationship with her but we've recently come to a head on this discussion due to covent the hospital Katie plans on delivering her baby in has a one birthing partner limits and instead of choosing my son she chose her mother my son claims that they had a discussion about it and he was okay with it but I think it's completely inconsiderate of Katie to deprive my son of this incredible experience sure her mother is her support system but so is my son katie is also an extremely insecure girl and descent she doesn't want my son seeing her in that much pain and discomfort which having three babies myself I do understand but I do not think it's good enough a reason to not let my son see his baby being born it's his baby just as much as hers they come round to my house for dinner once a week usually on a Wednesday so last night's my son got up to go to the bathroom so I decided to have a quick word with Katie I wasn't pushy I just suggested that she should have my son in the delivery room instead of her mother as it was his right to be there she said they'd agreed between themselves that it was okay but I know my son and I just can't imagine him being okay with that I asked her why she didn't want my son in the room and she explained why her insecurities etc and I told her she was being idiotic for someone soon to be a mother she sure his childish she shouted for my son and my son was furious at me telling me that he was okay with whatever Katie wanted and that he'd only be sitting outside he'd get to see his daughter straightaway I said that wasn't good enough and he said that if I kept this up I wouldn't be seeing my granddaughter at all which is just ludicrous am I the a-hole yes you're the a-hole for this one I think it's obvious with their reaction that's coming here you're very much the a-hole how can you not think you're the a-hole if you're being attacked by your own kids that are okay with their decision they've made Opie you are the a-hole and you need to respect their boundaries you're the a-hole she's the one passing the human out of her body she's the one that decides who's in the room with her I think it would be fine for husband to be upset in hurts but Opie needs to stay in her Lane exactly my thoughts the son is okay with it and understands RP needs to mind her own beeswax you're the a-hole even if the son is not okay with it and is just going along with what the wife wants because it's easier it still is not anyone elses place to interject the only person who gets to oppose the wife's decision is her husband if he wants to be in the room personally I think the wife needs serious therapy if she's too insecure to allow the person who she loves and helped her create the life to be there when that life comes into the worlds but that's not the issue mother-in-law went too far in this case and if you can only have one person Judy covered roles then as a practical matter your mother who has actually given birth is a better choice in my opinion if my wife was giving birth and they could only have one person I'd want whoever was going to make it easier for her if that was me great if it was her mom great you're the a-hole oh my god you are so the a-hole this is not your business it is Katie's decision and your son is okay with it sir but out granny and stop insulting a daughter-in-law some women myself included do not wish to be watched during labor there is nothing wrong with that let's not forget to point out I hope Opie likes not being a part of her grandchildren's lives she's straight just ticked off her son and daughter-in-law stop biting your nose where it doesn't belong rupee you are a supporting player in this situation so be supportive you won't like what happens if you and figure out how to do that's huge you're the a-hole alright guys that's all for today's video I hope you enjoyed this one today tell me what you thought of it down in the comments below if you're not subscribed to the channel I would love you to subscribe because I love your face I loved seeing you here every single day that you are here in this video I don't know what else to say today guys I hope you enjoyed the content I do have a second channel that's called marquee - link should be up on the screen somewhere here if you don't have ad block installed if you don't know where to find the channel you can go to my main page just click on the marquee face and it should be on the right somewhere there or on channels if your unfurl I hope you guys have a good one I'll see you in the next one bye

Channel: Markee

Views: 27,764

Rating: 4.9424462 out of 5

Keywords: aita, amitheasshole, r/aita, r/amitheasshole, aita reddit, markee, markee reddit, markee aita, markee amitheasshole

Id: mpO7zfDJ9BM

Length: 27min 20sec (1640 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 16 2020