r/ The Downsides of Hogwarts

what's the shoot East part about attending Hogwarts watching sporting events that are entirely hidden behind hedges underwater or take place hundreds of metres in the air also having to [ __ ] on the floor Axio poop knife Moaning Myrtle sexually harrassing you as you're taking a [ __ ] or a bath the toilets man ghosts going through my stool laughing at my dick sometimes coming from under the toilet and what do you know there was a giant ass snake under the freaking bathrooms yeah but they don't call her Moaning Myrtle for no reason JK knew what she was doing people can't steal one of your hairs and turn into you if someone [ __ ] someone with my appearance did I get laid doesn't matter because they aren't gonna find anyone to [ __ ] when they look like you this comment is the real killing curse the lack of responsible adults first years get caught out of bed or send them into the dangerous forest as punishment with the guy who's not supposed to use magic hostert ornament that young wizards and witches have died it include magical contract [ __ ] so that an inexperienced 14 year old is forced to compete there are more examples but these come to mind first gradually losing all your muggle friends at home because you can't really contact them or being scapegoated as evil at age 11 because you're sorted into Slytherin same thing as regular school group projects so god improve dorms with lots of people and all the toilets and rooms have ghosts so where would you go for a wank Room of Requirement that's got to be it I imagine it provides you with an unbelievable stacker porn mags as well magazines with moving pictures to boot reverse boggarts that look like the thing you really want hairy walks in there's Cho oh my oh my Jenny Luna wrong Harry walks out feeling really confused the time when the school is like we are suspending sports for this year so you can all watch three or four kids have a competition TBF I'd trade Quidditch for Dragon Laden bloodsport any day so there's a chance everybody involved can die brutal violent death well with taken precautions but where can i buy tickets Hagrid actually smells really bad okay there I [ __ ] said it he probably has little [ __ ] in his beard Jew doesn't have a shower in his heart pranks could be lethal have you seen some of the spells these students have available to them you're a teenager around other teenagers all dates are get you good and horny but you can't rub one out without the pictures ghosts and some wizard with a spell or device seeing what you're doing maybe I want them to watch the fact that you are not learning any basic knowledge as we do in muggle schools like math English biology physics we might hate it but it is pretty good to know a thing or two on those subjects I think that might be partly why magical society has stagnated compared to the muggle world they just never needed to invent technology I am Oh electricity being wonky around magic doesn't help either I'd imagine no Wi-Fi I'm not a wizard getting lost in the stair maze or being late to class one he wait on the stairs to face the right direction and getting in trouble for being late because of it probably having to use a quill and inkwell for writing assignments like come on you can totally at least upgrade to a pen slash pencil and notebook instead of parchment terrible governing could never live in a world where the government is so useless doesn't do anything right doesn't know what's going on and only cares about PR if I lived in a world like that I'd oh wait the British tabloids keeping a countdown on when you're legally [ __ ] owls flying above the students while they are eating think of the bird droppings the fact that once you're assigned a house at age 11 you have to stick with it for the rest of your adolescence imagine if you get placed as a Slytherin bug your personality completely changes in the next few years you'll basically identified as a pureblood racist kid for all of your youth that would suck the fact that so many ordinary things can kill you there's a random tree somewhere on school grounds that can pummel you to death there's a step among the thousands of steps that you have to specifically remember and if you don't endure alone have fun drowning in liquid stair you won't learn math the fact that everyone actually seems to care about this stupid house cup thing every year despite the fact it's obviously just a way to keep us in line ghosts moving portraits magical animals that are really people sounds like snow cheese to me that feeling of never really being alone the fact that love potions are essentially date rape drugs dangerous times kids that after Harry left nothing exciting is gonna happen hey at least there will finally be real competition for the house cop watching like half the school died in a huge battle with a bunch of evil wizards probably sucks if your house went in some game it will end up to be Gryffindor's victory because they'll get like ten points for breathing sneaking out at night with my girl to go bang in the Room of Requirement only to find I can't get in because a bunch of our souls are practising spells or some douches trying to fix a cabinet other people require the room tube guys s mhm the Polyjuice potion could seriously hurt someone's image going to the financial aid office that the name of your school sounds like a euphemism for a venereal disease probably all those times people are always out to kill you basically no privacy when you're trying to sleep they have curtains on their four poster bed which is more privacy than some people get in university hell I'm doing six weeks at a research station next month which will have eight people sleeping in one room with bunk beds and no showers oh I don't know being set aside in spite of earning outstanding in all classes because of Harry [ __ ] Potter and I was nearly avid a read because apparently one life matters more than the rest when Hogwarts went to shite Oh piss off Saint Potter patron saint of ska heads so you got a [ __ ] real bad hop well the toilets are out the stairs and to the left down the hall you get halfway up the stairs and boom the stairs now lead to somewhere else lots of free-range unmuted and unspayed cats and know that the care of magical creatures teacher doesn't seem to be a bet either oh and McGonagall turns into a cat in a place with unmuted free-range cats Oh God next JK rowling tweet is gonna confirm that McGonagall is a furry all these answers are superficial annoyances the shittiest part about attending Hogwarts is that you're indoctrinated into a society that doesn't give half a rat's ass about your safety or rights as if the building itself wasn't full of enough deadly hazards as it is like stairs that could crush you every time you go to class its DOS dangerous artifacts people would kill to acquire and dark wizards are lured in to duke it out on school grounds students are forced to participate in ludicrous trials or physically abused by government agents while the faculty watches impassively in lieu of detention you'll be sent into a forest full of monsters and rapi centaurs and speaking of rape there's like five different over-the-counter roofie equivalents which are dismissed as harmless teen antics and to top it off the curriculum ignores everything that isn't directly related to magic including things like politics you could have your soul ripped from your body for breaking laws you've never even heard of the fanfiction imagine reading about yourself in a dramatic romantic but poorly written relationship with someone you barely know the most popular pairing an HP fan fiction after Hermione slash Rock and Harry slash Ginny as harry / draco 4th harry / golden all's that anyone can kill you at any moment just by using that death spell I mean that's just like a gun though we already have those the difference is that at a regular school a loaded gun isn't a standard school supply that everyone carries with them at all times students don't have enough magic to pull off an avid a cadaver on a human anyways wasn't that also mentioned in book 4 if Crabbe can do it anyone can the teachers that just hate you for no apparent reason this isn't exclusive to Hogwarts the fact that I still haven't got my letter credits are non-transferable the education you're actually getting does literally nothing to prepare you for the outside world the unforgivable curses are impossible to defend against anyone can read your mind or slip you a roofie at any time anyone you interact with could be an impostor you're still communicating by letters and exchanging physical currency there are literal slaves cleaning your school and mistakes in pointless curricula match stick to needle can result in agonizing body horrors but at least there's a sport in which malevolent high-speed flying bowling balls are not confined to the court so there's that Colin Creevey first term was spent petrified in the hospital ward from his muggle father's perspective I would probably reconsider sending my other son to that school I'm not the biggest Harry Potter fan but reading the lore about the other wizarding schools is very interesting so apparently in the African Wizarding school who argued ah they don't use once because they can just point their fingers to cast so I assume those kids are taught like hand to hand wizardry combat as opposed to Hogwarts students who need ones lame the serious lack of education where is anyone learning critical thinking economics health science innovation math you have a bunch of young wizards leaving Hogwarts expected to run the wizard economy the wizard government's open businesses etc but none of these skills are taught at Hogwarts it's no wonder the Wizarding World is so far behind mughals mughals invent something and keep improving upon it create an industry around it full knowledge and continuously advance Wizards will see a roof about to fall over and slapdash some magic to prop it up because what are they an architect if you ask yourself how much has the Wizarding World improved or advanced in the last hundred years dark wizards aside the answer is probably not much the fact that kids will get insulted so easily and everyone's okay with it also having no real-time contact with your parents for months at a time that would suck probably the heat isolation there's a fireplace here and there but there's no heating whatsoever winter probably sucks being expected to write essays without proper English classes probably the three little shits that keep bringing doom and death everywhere with them that it's still a school whatever happens throughout the year you can still pass or fail you are expected to go to class and do homework and take tests you have been visited by the smart studying dog oh you will be blessed with good grades only if you subscribe to commenter woods and like the video on top food chain one stop new game [Music]

Channel: Cowbelly Studios

Views: 972,181

Rating: 4.9491062 out of 5

Keywords: comment awards memes dank meme compilation cowbelly reddit, r/, askreddit, top posts, reddit top posts, best of reddit, top posts of all time, askreddit funny, top posts of r/, brainy memes, funny reddit, fails, funniest reddit posts, funniest posts, brainydude, brainy, dankify, TZ REDDIT, harry potter, jk rowling, hogwarts, downsides, try not to laugh, teachers, reddit try not to laugh, funny meme, posts, subreddit, funny, reddit

Id: YOoxOQDeZN8

Length: 11min 44sec (704 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 08 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/DarthMaeve]

History of magic

[u/Beatrice_Beach]

The lack of tampons/pads for girls