Q&A Knowledge Retreat Conclusion | Yaser Birjas & Omar Suleiman - MASCON2018

first question reclaiming the narrative has recently become a buzzword or a trendy topic however the conversations seem to revolve around the compliments of the American Muslim community and feeding into the model minority theory how can we authentically reclaim our narrative based on the lessons from the CETA and the right we got you to put up al know so it's a simple question but obviously it's a big big perspective over here the whole point is that we don't want anybody here in America to write the story of the Muslims for them other than the Muslims themselves that's a simple actually message but we will look at the Muslims who live in America we don't come from one particular background or one particular culture to define the Muslim narrative in one direction our problem right now in America as Muslims we have different backgrounds and as a as a result of that we come with different probably maybe version so how we don't define ourselves as Muslims this is where we have a problem really so you have the older generation or the immigrant for example communities trying to define its time in a certain direction and you have the indigenous Muslim community who were born raised over here for example the african-american community as well has its own version of its struggle throughout of course a society and then you have the new generation is that is emerging in this community as well being the second third generation Muslims in America as you can see we have multiple chapters and now the Muslims in America are struggling to see ok how do we define ourselves adding to this you have all the influences coming from outside trying to force the Muslim to take one interpretation of Islam versus the other one and that were the problem is we have multiple sources so the question says how can we define our own narrative from the history of Islam and Muslim this is where we actually did this knowledge retreat here bringing back the story of across study from Omaha with man and even a bit all about the ajma'in so at least we realize how Islam all started so that here in America we learn that the principles the struggle that the mullah Moses went through how did he how did they deal with with fitten and issues among themselves and in trials they had to go through how they invested in opportunities that they had you know as they establishing their own society and so on if we can go back to the seal of the prophets of Allah Sodom and the Sahaba and the Salah hain we'll find a lot of lessons we can learn from one thing I want everybody to understand when it comes to establishing your own story that it's actually it's a journey and the meaning of that you're not gonna see the result until way later after probably your time we're only just the chapter and the story of the Muslims who live in America very so therefore we need to make sure that we do our part what is our part is to make sure we do the right thing in sha allah tala going back again to the main sources of the messenger of allah so allah said i'm left for us he says direct if you come Shane I left you two things as long as you hold on to them you never go go straight the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and alhamdulillah we have lot of Rama Musharraf and scholars who can help us insha allah tala find the true meaning of what we have issues with now once again our our young young brothers and sister they start debating between the orthodox understanding of the quran and sunnah and the interpretation of what they believe is islam based on different country of reference of our time that's what the struggle is no matter how far we go away and understanding our life we had to go back again to point of reference that is very well established and that's the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam because it's a safe haven no matter how many people go straight from the Quran and Sunnah we go back to it when our bus Raja Lawton he says Allah l-jamaa to my colonel hallo Kunta wok that ahjumma the true Gemara is the one that follows the truth even if even if you were by yourself so don't get confused by the size of the people who go that direction that doesn't mean they're right just go and find what is right and wrong based on the foundation of the Prophet SAW Allah Salomon the practice of the Saudi annual honor questions that were asked was how do you know if if a scholar is a reliable source of knowledge and rulings in fact I was so how do you know if a scholar is reliable scholar honestly until they die you're not gonna be make sure why is that because the element they said Karl it turbine ambassador fact he said I stand a Beeman Matt 4nl high-latitude manali Hill fitnah you need to follow someone who's already dead because the living still not safe from the fitnah yet what does that mean means as long as a person is still alive so how a lot things happen in their lives they might go through trials and ordeals they might not be able to hold on to these strong principles they might change you don't know so therefore don't attach your heart to anybody that's still alive instead go to somebody whose authenticity has already been established and these are these people are authentic or at least considered in reliable hamdulillah a lot of testimonies for them in our history so you go back to great orlimar great so how are the low turn on Sol eighteen and so on so we go by these real Emma and Sarah had already been established at hamdulillah in our legacy in our history however as human beings obviously we would like to see something tangible something that is we can we can reach out to so someone who's alive we love to see heroes in our life that's one of the things that we are growing up in this culture everybody in this society is growing up you know with aspiring to see a hero and by the way that's why all these movies right now actually the hero movies become a very popular because giving people false you know understanding of life and which is given people fantasy if you cannot live it that way live it through a hero so all these Superman and Batman and all that stuff on San Jamar just kind of like taking people in that direction so we need to find this hero so how can I understand that this alum of this shape or sheikha in this at this time is reliable you go of course you understand why they look at their knowledge from so you see their credentials if it's reputable school or not if they have studied long enough or not if they have shook or a lama who praised them or not or at least they recommend them or not so you go through the source and that's how you go with any bit anybody in anything if you would like to see a doctor that is actually qualified or not you go and check their ratings a lawyer same thing to check the ratings Harma even an hour time unfortunately we need to make sure that the people who come out today they reliable because with the power of the Internet and the social media and the camera anybody can have a YouTube channel and start posting all what they want to talk about would come to the Dean so there's no filter really so that's one thing the last thing I want to mention here is what the professor some recommended for us he said the stuff they're called Becker one I've taken a swath to means always check your heart even if you get the fatwa from the people what does that mean sometimes you you hear an answer from someone who's supposedly alum or shahe and then it keeps eating no matter how sound the video looked like for example or the session or the person or the gathering I was in it kept itching in your heart that it's I just don't feel comfortable with this even though I I got an answer if this is the case go and ask others double check you don't have to go and tell what I heard from Chef XYZ said so-and-so you don't have to mention who said that but go and ask and say you know I heard the fatwa you know about one two three so what do you think is that is that accurate how can I you know make sure it's accurate or not just basically go and try to verify the item that you get my last one make it easy for all of your blood I mean long what advice of how not to make it easy for these sisters your Abellana me i know it's it's very hard in time once again when we see you know there's something called tipping point when everybody is there may be afraid or concerned or struggling with the hijab and then we start watching online and on the internet and social media this is this sister who once was maybe a popular personality she removed her hijab and then everybody's just hailing here for her carriage because she removed the hijab but another person comes out another person comes out it becomes very common unfortunately these days for everybody to do so they go online and they just want to make it public for everybody so the sisters who are struggling with that they just find it you know overwhelming sometimes it's not just from family it sort of also from the society so for the sisters of wearing the hijab today in allah subhana wa ter ward you immensely for your courage there is nothing allah we can say to encourage you more than letting you know that Allah subhana WA Ta'ala is the one who is guarding you protecting you and rewarding you for the effort that you're making to display your faith you a man through the hijab that's the first thing now in regard to the subject of the family obviously it's a command from allah subhana wa ta'ala you should observe that therefore if your parents they ask you to remove the hijab the Prophet SAW says la patella much Luke Lamar Seattle halep when it comes to disobeying Allah Allah Allah surrounded you don't obey anybody if it entails this obedience to allah azza wajal now if the situation at home becomes very difficult for her let's say in this case it becomes maybe life threatening or safety issue the father is gonna let's say kick her out of the house and so on I hope if she lives in a community that can ensure a reach out to the family to support her banila so that would be great otherwise if that becomes a situation I hope in sha Allah that she can present your case to a local Imam leaders who can help her out ease the situation for her bananas ojen I cannot say remove the hijab but would you local Imam the leadership and shall explain the situation for them whatever decision they will give you shall out that I hope you can hold on to it bananas oh Allah now how do we raise our sons to respect and treat women as the foot affected oh wow how do we raise our sons to respect women right treat their mothers with respect that's the best advice I can give people people to ask me what is the best parenting advice you can give me and I tell the guy loved their mother and they say ok ok but what else so that's the best advice I can give you to as a parenting advice love their mother well and show it to them why so because if you if you show that love to their mother in front of them the kids will grow up knowing that you know what how you treat women and obviously they will know how to treat women our biggest problem today is that when parents are ultra-conservative so they don't show love and respect to each other in front of their children because it's Abe it's you know shame you know can't do these things you can't hold hands you cannot you know say I love you in front of your kids and so on our children will grow up not knowing how to do it when they get married they don't know so therefore we need to do that that's number one number two when our kids they grow up to certain age which is age of puberty obviously before they get to that point you need to have a lot of you know sessions in preparation to that age for them parents specifically their fathers they need to do so if a family is a single mom she doesn't have a father figure in the household I hope you have somebody from the family who can help her with that if not then at least somebody from the committee we can support let's say youth director for example the Imam and anybody who can help in the community you shall allow the Baraka what are but children they need some direction they need to treat to be taught how to do things right because we're good at teaching people and teaching our children what is Haram but we're not good at teaching our children how to do it right like what could we keep telling them don't talk to girls don't do this don't be with them on you know online don't chat with them don't this don't do that but we don't know how we don't actually teach them how to do it right if it happens let's say whatever the girl approaches a son your son what are you gonna do so in this case we need to teach in what is right and Charlotte Allah there also as we speak about further about the boys same thing applies to the girls as we need to train them before they reach puberty inshallah Dada so that they have self-respect for themselves as well and also respect for the other janitor in the community of Aloha if one has committed a major sin what is the best way not to meet a law with that sense if someone commits a major sin may allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala conceal it for them and keep it hidden for them in the dunya I mean Allah subhana WA Ta'ala forgive them that sin say I mean ajumma our Deen is not based on punishing sinners edema don't take it wrong many people they think that Sharia is about punishing people actually Sharia is about protecting people and when people come out with their sins outside that's when we try to protect the major community by obviously maybe applying that the punishment upon those who deserve it but if someone commits something that Haram they should keep it between themselves and allah subhana wa ta'ala and try to seek repentance from allah azzawajal now how do we do that I mean there is many many different ways for it obviously there's something called Toba and Tova which means repentance has conditions for number one when you do tell about former commits from committing a sin the first thing you need to do is to stop stop doing it don't you know say I'm gonna do tawba while you still doing the sin no you need to repent by first of all cease doing that thing number one number two that you need to regret falling into the sin it's not like doing it and then just saying oh man that was awesome back in the days that means you did not really regret committing that sin you don't feel the pain of coming in that sin and the third thing is that you make a vow or at least you make commitment that you do your best that you will never ever go back again to commit that sin once you have that I hope insha'Allah Allah subhana WA Ta'ala see the sincerity in your heart and Allah will make it easy for you and accept from you now if the sin in tells someone else is right like you took money from somebody and so on in this case you're gonna have to give them back what you've taken from them you don't have to give it directly to them but so in one way you dare would receive it so that least they don't know that you took that money from them or so on now many many people think that committing a sin in itself is just at the end of their life the end of your Islam not at all people have to understand that we human beings and one of the biggest issue we have in our society is when brothers and sisters they aspire to false reality or force and level of perfection the angel level of perfection you cannot be an angel no matter how much you try what does that mean somehow you're gonna make a mistake some people they have mistakes bigger than others that's different but still as long as we try to do our best a hamdulillah we're in good shape we're gonna fall into mistakes and errors and so on and that should be okay and Allah subhana WA Ta'ala forgive you last point here imam IBN qayyim rahim a lotta he said sometimes allah so gel will test some people with sins without which they will never make tawba that were entitled him to Jenna and he gave the example of the woman who stole during the time of Rasul Allah his salah salem she was from an elite community and she was eventually punished for her crime i heard a lot and she said colleton Maha Sunna Islam oh and after she did that she became such a very good Muslim so sometimes people I have seen some people I came in and in my life I met some brothers and sisters who committed some of these sins privately obviously but then the pain in their heart was so overwhelming and hamdullah you know that provoked that tell before them and some and after that became so good in their Eman and the practice of their Dean so I hope and show a lot that whoever's asking the question they can use this to their advantage insha'Allah Allah to push themselves all the way to make that repentance perfect and move forward with the Eman until they made the Lords of Hannah or Dada and she Omar here Hanuman saved me the trouble like Elijah yeah I'll leave the odd questions for you this man yeah all of us man I give it to the let's start with a funny fun easy one before we get into it I think well it's a question about clothing and I think what chef guess everyone just is wearing we've already answered that but someone asked as a man can I wear colors such as light blue or pink you know that real men wear pink by the way when it comes to colors in Islam by the way it's cultural thing it's a cultural thing which means it depends really there's no restriction or any specific culture except for things the purpose as I mentioned as a master which is something confusing in temper scribing it today is it the pure red is it something reddish we don't know the specific meaning of it but there are certain criterias the professor's and refused for men to wear other than that it's all actually concerns supposed to be concerned cultural as long as it's part of the culture of your own people it should be fine provided is not flamboyant you know kind of the style or colors so we stay away from these things as a show up it should be fine insha'Allah Allah and by the way in some Muslim cultures like I know when we used to be in Medina University I've never actually thought that I would ever be wearing something like this to this color to be honest with you never in my life are we wearing these colors in Medina I had some students studying with us in Medina University they'll be wearing the the hot pink and pure pink and I'm just like oh my god you're Allah what kind of color is that but that was the culture when we asked and said this is how men actually wear in their in their own culture we said all right but I don't dare wear that these things until I came here to America so welcome to America can you list the seven step out with a little lonely old my family you mentioned one earlier today oh man put me on the spot all right so I mean you could easily google it but sure if you want to put me to the test and make sure so you had Imam Mona Idol at first the the the just ruler you have a young person that grew up in the worship of Allah you had someone whose heart was tied to the massage it you had a person that is called there are two Mirada hasa in which ml called any a half Allah someone that was called by a woman of beauty and status and he said I fear Allah you have a person who cry yes the Corolla Holly and fahara tonight i Mena who a person who remembers a lot of privately and his eyes were full of tears you have someone that gives with his right hand so that his left hand does not know and there's one more that I'm missing a person who loves someone purely for the sake of Allah Spano town is like a lot if you look up I actually did a full a full blown explanation of the hadith and a few classes it's called shaded glory so if you look up on YouTube it's the old class I talked but I went through each category and in depth shaded Lloyd and drink your coffee okay so the diff a Muslim and Moulton if the word muslim or momin are used is used alone then it represents both so the terms become interchangeable if Islam and Iman are used together then Islam represents the outward Iman represents the inward so what that means in terms of the person a movement in that sense is someone who believes in the the articles of faith and who manifests inwardly true faith whereas Islam Submission refers to the external the external manifest of that faith so again if there if one is used in the with the absence of the other then it's they're interchangeable they're used together than its outward versus inward alarmed if I want to add one thing to this is actually just reminding people that when it comes to Islam and Iman and s an Eman is an upgrade from Islam anna-san is an upgrade from Iman and in the hadith of jus bill when he came to the Prophet SAW said I'm asked about Islam Eman and thus and the Prophet SAW saram gave the meaning of Islam and outward outward the practices and then a man in in the heart so and what comes to Eman anyone who come to Islam just by professor in the world as shadow Allah Allah Allah and Muhammad Rasulullah you become a Muslim Halas that's it but then how can I become a moment that requires lot of work so you keep working and work and work and tell your Eman is strengthened in your heart and that's when you get that upgrade and the last of Hanna wa taala denied people calling themselves movements they are robbed when allah samantha's will call it adorable I'm an Aqualung to me know what I call a slam now the bad ones they say we believe Allah says no no no you just became Muslims you don't you not believers yet until a man enters into your heart so there is a lot of work before we get there and Sun is the highest level of Islam that is when you get to the highest level of certainty about your belief and about your faith the prophets RSM says that you worship Allah as if you see him and if you couldn't get to that level of certainty then at least you're certain that he sees you so that's the highest level how can you get to that point of Jamaa there's lot of work over there and a long journey and this just started today in jail a lot and Shalit are for many what is the prophetic manner in breaking up this brother just recently went through a divorce and wants to know how to carry on afterwards this is yuusha you teach this bus this is how Valley Ranch goes yeah we keep dodging it together so the question is about someone who just went through divorce how we can move on is that what the question is also did it with dealings or just himself you know emotionally okay so if someone is asking about how to deal with the product with the post-divorce basically kind of circumstances obviously the moment the idea is over so they become no longer muharram to each other and therefore if they want to be dealing with each other it has to be just like you know dealing with someone who is not related to you and when we have children I hope we shall Allah parents they make sure in order for the sake of the children to if they have children obviously that they do not alienate the children in their relationship what does that mean and it's it's considered actually a legal issue if one of the parents tries to always win the children to their side by always talking about the other parent in a negative way that's not healthy for the children that's not healthy for you either people that need to know if it happens it happens Melissa how make it easy for them you need to learn to move on and if it requires counsel you should go through the counseling as well but if we talk about the Sunna of the prophets of Allah Salaam he don't have any incident that the prophets of allah sallam had you know divorced a wife with children to deal with her but he divorce her and that's it that was over he moved on another example is soda he was about to divorce her but she said you know what Allah don't divorce me let's do so Michael conciliation in a way that makes a settlement where she gives her the right of my beat which means to sleep with her to I shall die later Anna and then she stays with him salawatu allahi wa ceremony so it's a kind of like a broad concept really so I don't know what the circumstance of the individual you see these questions about the marriage and divorce people have to understand it's not a question these are known as photo so mat which means the litigations here you have cases and you have scenarios so you need to be specific about the scenario so you can get the right answer to your case insha'Allah Allah personal and family life with being leaders and working for the whole mouth so let me let me start off because I did speak about all model deal on with his family and earth mountain with his family and the different approaches that they had I think it's important for us to recognize that one of the beauties of Islam and you'll hear it a lot of times in answers like the one that she just gave in regards to divorce is that we have a prophetic equation that does not specify a certain number of hours or a certain amount of time but it's really meant to be a matter of that whatever the standard of kindnesses that exists in that particular society that as a believer you should be rising to be at the level of excellence of whatever that standard is concerned because these things do change and somehow I mean when you're talking about spending time in particular the way that time is allotted in the past and you still see this in some societies you truly have villages that raise children so you know I can I can actually look to my relatives a lot of my relatives I don't live here you know dad uncle uncle uncle uncle mom aunt aunt aunt it's kind of like this one big bag and they're all kind of raising each other's children so it's it's different now it doesn't justify absence on the part of anyone but the circumstances certainly do change the scope of responsibilities and what it means to actually spend time there and that you know imam hassan about still human law was asked this question about knowledge versus action and it's not specific to this particular question but the way he answered the question is very powerful you know do i do I spend more time seeking knowledge or do I spend more time worshiping Allah Spano it's odda so he said seek knowledge in a way that doesn't harm your worship of Allah and worship in a lot that the worship Allah in a way that doesn't harm your seeking knowledge again he said seek knowledge in a way that doesn't harm your worship of allah and worship in a war ship a lot in a way that doesn't harm your pursuit of knowledge so he didn't give an amount of time he didn't give the exact specifications because that's going to change from person to person when you look at the falafels one thing that you can find with them is that they took intense or they payed intense attention to the upbringing of their children to their families and they were not negligent and this was actually a characteristic you just take all modeled the allotted I know in particular all modeled a law and who engaging his family and service it was a whole thing so it wasn't just a whole lot of depriving his family for example because the OMA was deprived when they always going through hardship putting them through undue hardship but it was the very famous story that a woman you know Alma was doing one of his night patrols and a woman went into labor and he goes and he calls his wife on C'thun bent Ali may Allah be pleased with her and her father and they go and they deliver the baby together it's things of that sort right so everyone is sort of engaged in the service all together and generally speaking what brings a sense of unity amongst a group of people as a sign itíd sense of purpose and that's something that a lot of people lack greatly in their homes is bringing that sense of purpose to the entirety of the home to the best of your ability right sometimes it's just not going to work and everyone has different circumstances but where there is room to actually engage the entirety of the home to engage the spouse to engage the children even in some sense of commonality when it comes to mission then you don't always have to separate your a bad life and Mustard life and activism life from your family life you can find where those things actually meet and then you can allow you know you can make way for a healthy fusion where there is room for that not in a way that would distract you in all of those different areas but in a way that would actually make it most efficient so and most beneficial to everybody so I think that the main thing that that I would say I want to share with you this is anecdotal but it's something that that happened just last week I was talking to a friend he's being recorded right I'm not gonna say his name so none of you will know who he is hopefully but he was he was talking about you know doing dishes all right that was really interesting because he said about doing dishes he said what's the point of me doing dishes like I could spike I'd rather spend money on someone or you know hire someone else to do that and that way my wife will get a break I'll get a break so what's the point in doing dishes and you know my answer to that because it's not it's actually a very it's not a bad question it makes sense my answer to that is that the prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam could have also found someone else to repair his own shoes he could have found someone else to serve the members of his household could have found someone else to do the things that he used to do inside the household but there's a benefit to be realized in that itself if the ultimate goal is actually your tes kiya there's still a benefit there is something special about serving your family and by the way it is the most sincere form of service you know a cloth sincerity is that you try to serve without seeking anything from anyone but Allah subhana Allah no one's gonna celebrate you for serving your parents no one's gonna celebrate you for serving your spouse and your children but that's what makes it so special and so sincere that you don't do those things for celebration in the first place so channel that desire to please Allah subhana WA Ta'ala through the way that you work through your family and with your family and don't separate all of those things or don't make those parts of your life completely isolated from one another of course the first thing I want to mention here to the Muslim community that when it comes to mental illness in the community in the Muslim community it is a real issue a lot of people they try to dodge these questions or even these situations by pushing them under the carpet and consider them to be oh the Muslim cremated handle ah it doesn't have these things they will go through these kind of like situations yes we do so it's we have to acknowledge that yes we do go through the difficult situations members of the Muslim community do suffer you know a variety which it's just cope of mental illnesses honestly so we have to admit that it's a it happens we acknowledge that that's number one number two going through a situation where people suffer from mental illness doesn't mean it is a as there's a problem in their faith and their Eman because a lot of people that think when you have when you go through let's say a severe condition for example of an anxiety and to the level that it might feel that they're becoming right now frozen in time that means they don't believe in Allah Azza WA Jalla the man is not strong and so no not necessarily really it's not a that's not true they're human beings after all no matter how much we try we go actually through some difficulties and so on so eventually I want you to know that's not a sign of weak Iman or weak faith it might be for some but not necessary to you so therefore we have to separate between these two issues in Charlotte Anna now the third thing is that this is a very very serious subject therefore if you're going to talk to somebody about a mental health issue you talk to the experts and just for your knowledge the Imam is not one of them so don't go and make an appointment with the Imam I want to talk to you about my you know my severe depression for example or bipolar situation or this or that or whatever that they go through now you need to go to the Imam for spiritual maybe support or you know that you're going with a counselor on the side buried the Imams you know kind of like help as well to keep Michelle on track and so on that's good but don't depend on the amount primarily for an issue that other professionals who specialize in the field they can help you with it shall October taco and on top of that obviously we need to as a community acknowledge that give the people the support in Charlotte ala and make a lot of Drive there are lots of panel that make it easy for them Aloha I'll just add to it because I think it's a very important question and one that's coming up a lot more recently one thing is that you can't just pray away a mental illness a lot of people think that way and it's wrong and to burden someone else with that is also not appropriate you don't just pray it away you don't just make drat and it goes away you have to treat it and treating it is a form of ebody it's a form of worship a lot of people feel ashamed to get help when they have a mental illness because they feel like it's it's a weakness in their own Iman a weakness in their own faith like chef yasser said and if I seek help from someone in getting over that mental illness then somehow I'm losing out the reward of struggling with it and dealing with it on my own that's not true because the mental illness has I mean not it's it's a hindrance for yourself it hurts you it hurts people around you and when you seek to cure that so that you can be a better Muslim be a better child to your parents better sibling a better spouse whatever it may be that's actually a tree bada that's actually an act of worship that's actually putting aside something you know putting something else or someone else before you and let that be your motivator don't be guilted into not going and seeking treatment for these things then lastly as a community as a society you know one thing that being involved with people more involved with someone as a community leader whether you're an imam or a counselor or director like you tend to realize how many people just have serious issues and unfortunately as a community you know we it's like you look at someone who has a physical illness if someone's walking around with a physical illness you feel a sense of sympathy for them but when someone's walking around or someone has a mental illness and it's very clear and manifest we treat them with contempt and as a community we have to remember that sometimes these actions are out of someone's control and a lot of times by the way the Internet is exposing just how bad it is in our community because you can see people pouring their heart out writing things online and you don't have to be a doctor to diagnose that sometimes it's like it's very clear that there's that there's a lot going on there but hey you know what I like what this person said here so I'm gonna go ahead and retweet that and share it great job it's like you do realize like that's textbook right there and what are we doing as a community help that person so I would just appeal to all of us to be a little bit more compassionate when someone acts strange and out of character your first instinct should not be a diagnose them but it should be to reach out to them and see if you can help them and often helping them means giving them the encouragement to go get help for that for the specific thing that they need help with and not be not feel guilty and not feel shamed and judged for doing so but we have to do something about this in Shaolin as a community show support for people when they act out and when when they fail to go and get treatment for these things it is it is rewarding it is arribada to do these things in order to be a better Muslim and a better and more capable person with everything else and everyone else that's around you thoughtfulness and I actually work at a a psychiatry clinic that is systemic we focus on psychotherapy I also work somewhere else not for profit I can tell you that having a mental health illness does not make you a bad Muslim and I can attest to you that many times when I've asked patients who are struggling I ask them how is your relationship with Allah been how are you with your prayers I'd have people break down and cry I cannot remember the last time I broke down and cried like that I'm Allison so are you gonna tell me how you're not gonna convince me that that person who's crying about this prayer is better than bacon has been crying forever Madison so get help there are many Muslims or and it's great to see one Muslims getting into this field if you'd like I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say where I work but you know you can come to me we are also having a mental health panel in the convention and I will be hosting and I'll be the talk show host and so we'll go into it a little bit more there so if you are struggling or you know someone struggling I would highly encourage you to come and get some benefit so he can't do it so I'll do it as I was we send people to the Halil Center all the time actually even with yaqeen when people send in emails to us with individual issues we don't just send them a document locater here's an article for you to read we actually direct them towards the Halil Center and they do great work Michelle [Laughter] what does it mean to love someone for the sake of Allah and specifically can you talk about that does this apply towards marriage you're the Sheikh of love so are we talking about just loving somebody for the sake of Allah for the sake of marriage is that what we're saying now the worst thing you tell your spouse the worst thing you tell your spouse I love you for the sake of Allah really I know doesn't sound yummy right or or suchlike really I mean I isn't supposed to be for the sake of Allah that we're married actually jazakallah here for your sentiment but you don't tell your spouse I love you for the sake of Allah what is the answer you get from your spouse when you tell them I love you for the sake of Allah what is the most likely answer you get from them can you guess they would say why what's wrong with me right so what's the reason meaning of loving someone for the sake of all I think there's a confusion people think that loving one for the sake of Allah that is cannot go with loving someone for something else yes you can can you love your spouse for the sake of Allah and love them for who they are the answer is yes because they don't go actually against each other they don't go against each other so this is loving them for the sake of Allah for Allah for their manners for you know for the Eman for encouraging him to become a better Muslims in Shahada and so on and then loving them because they're macho they're beautiful they're handsome they're you know they're great personality bla bla bla all the sin that makes you feel attracted to them on a personal level they do not go against each other and that side you should be okay in Charlotte Anna but now if we talk about someone who does who's not married to somebody else and now they are confused between should I love this someone from the opposite gender for the sake of Allah or I love them because maybe I really love them because I want to marry them I would say in this case keep it for the sake of Allah for now until you have the true intention to propose then inshallah you can go and talk to them or to the families insha'Allah Sojin lon and to add to that so how long because I struggled with this it's kind of related but you ever did you ever get the questions check about how do we feet you know shouldn't we give to people or shouldn't we give charity because of it's the right thing to do we're out of mercy and not for the sake of a law like what does it mean to feed someone for the sake of Allah and I found a very beautiful response from Al half of the Vanaja Lana not paraphrase it how fat the murajjab said that you define oftentimes in our in our Islamic terminology you define something by by what it's not and this is a special function so for the sake of Allah really means expecting nothing from them it speaks to the expectation peace not to the motivating peace so to give you some context to this oftentimes in the Quran something is explained there's tough seared with the tafseer and I explains another ayah which is very common in a monetary moku meloetta laa laa Norodom income Jezza and voila Sakura so for example we only feed you for the sake of Allah what does that mean the the end the fact of that is that we don't want any compensation or gratitude from you so that means what I seek it's speaking to the pursuit it's not speaking to the motivation because those are two different things and when you mix them up it becomes an impossible standard there are many things that draws towards people but ultimately what do you expect from them in return so that's where the the for the sake of Allah really is clarified and made pristine in the Quranic terminology the main stage so there are a ton of questions and of course as always I can't get throughout them but I will tell you all this there are many tracks that we have during the convention a lot of marriage questions a lot of relationship questions we have an entire marriage track spousal tract and chief counselor just will be giving a talk or two there as well and a lot of these other talks I would highly encourage you all to look at the convention look at the program and see which sessions are you like are there any life I want to say something subhanAllah an incident that has happened maybe three four hours ago that kind of had put me at a position just to in the batteries nine so just before I actually came back from I went to took the family went out for lunch outside and then there on the way back as we walk in the streets so there was a man who appeared to be homeless was walking behind us so we came at a traffic light to cross the street as we will stop there I wasn't paying attention to what was on the ground but as we were standing there this man he bent down he had a cup in his hand he bent down and I saw down there there was an egg that was broken and the yolk was still there intact on the ground I don't know how long it was there for but this man he went down with his cup collected that you and he put it in his mouth and it was a shocking moment because we just came out of a restaurant and hamdulillah we ate we filled our stomachs we had even some dessert an ice cream and we were just walking back to the car and I just I was shocked my daughter 8 years old she's the me and she goes baba why did he do that for I really was even unable to give her the answer because for me there was another reality and check reality check for us it's like super Allah how much privilege do you are without noticing that so my mom is a la feria and without even thinking about it she just opened her purse could whatever cash in her pocket and just like she gave it to the man just I don't know how much but just go eat something somehow so I just want you to remember the blessings there are lots of Hana mother has given us in this life for life and as we go through this beautiful experience for the next three days in sha allah allah one thing we should learn from that experience at honda allah is really really to know the blessings of being muslims in the first place the blessings of being able to be together as muslim community for the next three days in charlotte era learning you know connecting with each other networking and even shopping in the bazaar that's another blessing you don't see it very frequently so many blessings so as you go through life please think of other people show compassion and charlotta allah and if you ever see someone asking don't judge just give just give don't even question the motive why they're asking are they gonna eat with this are they gonna buy a drink oh that's none of your business just show compassion and share the fare with people wallah piggybacking off with yesterday's mention every single person that Allah put in your life he put in your life for a reason whether there was a benefit or a harm from that person or it was a benign interaction but every single person that you've ever met come into town to contact with there was a reason there was something that could be that could come out of that interaction of benefit to you everything that you've seen Paulo is not just we don't just talk about divine decree to try to make sense of the bad things what we deem bad have happened to us in life or happening to us Allah is also trying to make more sense of the neutral and understand what I could do out of the neutral to make it a good thing that Allah did not put anything in front of me except that there was a way for me to grow closer to him through the particular experience and through that particular interaction but you just have to pay attention and somehow allowed that that's something that it's just it's just you keep coming back to it over and over again but this concept of mindfulness of being present where you are paying attention to what you're doing paying attention to the people around you paying attention to the place around you and you know cell phones absolutely kill that our technology absolutely kills that you have to resist it and you have to be in possession of all those things and you have to be mindful about your usage of these distractions if you don't want them to take over your life mindfulness is what would allow you to catch what she also for example caught with that homeless man that thing probably could have had in front of you and I and we wouldn't even notice that because we weren't mindful so practicing mindfulness is very important there are ways to do them we actually just finished the you know one thing we're doing today we have an article on yameen called how to be a mindful soul and we've actually gotten emails from non-muslims as I said that they article really benefited them how to be a mindful song and we just finished a minute infographic video on how to be a mindful Muslim so the practices and just the habits to bring into your life to where you are paying attention and one of the most important parts of those seclusion a lot of people don't know this but when thought happened to the Prophet slice of it he went to him up he went back to that place going to that place of seclusion introspection being mindful and private is a prerequisite to being mindful in public right so being able to be in control of your thoughts when there's nothing to distract you practicing that allows you to be more capable of doing so when there are distractions that are around you so practicing mindfulness is this [Music] for all of your help just to close out the sound retreat time to die just a couple of things you know a lot of times people say have this mentality that you know life would be great if we have to you see that fight that everything we record on fire so in this convention you're kind of living a mini fire go get somebody yeah you are come on many distance so this is a test reset see how much you back up that time remember you are with other Muslims so have the attitude of peace and have that attitude of peace with all the other employees and everyone else who is not listen over here you will run into people as the dimension mistake you know you're gonna it's gonna get crowded in elevators you're gonna run it someone's gonna bump into you someone's gonna not like how your job looks or not like the way you're just have the attitude of sadhana that you are and have the kid of peace i also recommend to you all trying to get out of your comfort zone a little bit go to lectures or tracks that you've never been to go listen to a speaker who you've never heard of try to learn and get a different perspective I also highly recommend and note I wasn't told to say this but they a clean track is a great opportunity they have clean Maps an academic conference as well as the Institute for Social Policy if you're into activism there's a women's track yet and am thi American listen for Palestine so if you're very interested in going getting to the most detailed things so I pray that most comic how to make this a less gathering for our song is going to make it la la mesilla samina when you see math when moon being in a movie nap time laughs yah yah yah Allah well I have my workshop whether they know you love whatever you want you - two things I think that when I have heard about anything else and I never have some time alone - Salafi no I mean only I tell myself you know and he fell asleep what these three of these our video of the bottom on Afghanistan once again many when Iraq they love to sweep of the Aprilia of the new potato free honeymoon from benefiting the never anywhere you know but I cannot obey our reacting up or what I what I really like melon - you know why you

Channel: MASICNAConvention

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Keywords: Q&A Knowledge Retreat Conclusion, Yaser Birjas, Omar Suleiman, MASCON2018, masicnaconvention, mascon2020, mascon2019, knowledgeretreat, masacademicconference, islamic conventions, Islamophobia, MAS-ICNA, competition, Leaders, MAS-ICNA Convention, Facing challenges, MuslimsGotTalent, american muslims got talent, confident muslim, mascon2018, Muslim, islam, convention

Id: OLzxqYphMB8

Length: 53min 1sec (3181 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 16 2019