Q&A Do Narcissists Know What They Are Doing?

hi and welcome to thriver TV the place to break free from narcissistic abuse with quantum tools and understandings and today's cyber TV episode is a QA episode and this came from a question that Bren posted in my Facebook group and this is what she said she said anarch's aware they are narcs I told my ex that he was a narc and he asked me what a narc is can't they ever wonder why their life is so messed up is there no inkling of self-awareness do they have no perception of their hurtful ways and a lot of people liked that request because I know that a lot of people really want to know don't NASA do or don't narcissus know what they're doing that's what this show is all about so the thing is is that there is a huge push out there in narcissistic abuse recovery forums etc that narcissus know exactly what they're doing that they're purposefully malicious and that they take delight in destroying and ripping people's lives apart etc and they should be held accountable and they know what they're doing now narcissism is pathological unconsciousness that's the truth and my definition of unconsciousness is I don't know what I'm doing and I don't know why I'm doing it and this is actually genuine for anybody that as is triggered off into old unresolved childhood wounds because when anybody regress is back into their childhood wounds they act like a child and children are clueless children don't know what they're doing or why doing it and adults that are acting out of an unhealed childish emotional container a clueless as well they don't know what they're doing or why they're doing it so I really want you to think back I really want you to think back in to a time in your life if you can be really honest with yourself when you were highly emotionally triggered it might have been when you found out that somebody was saying stuff about you that wasn't the truth or it could be when you lost your job or maybe it was when somebody you loved left you for someone else and at those times in your life and there could be thousands of different times when you showed up with high emotional content when you were really really triggered this always means one thing and it means that what has been triggered and what has been hit is an unresolved wound inside you that relates to not feeling a secure solid level of love approval or security and when we triggered what happens is is cortisol and adrenaline starts flowing through our system we have chemical compositions that are fired off as a result of our emotional fearful perceptions and when we have those chemicals coursing through our system we are only able to access the parts in our brain that are to do with very very primitive survival programs which is I'm unsafe and I have to get to say safety I have to defend myself the parts of our brain that are available that normally available especially if we're in consciousness that could be available for a peace resolution solution support and even miracle those parts of our brain are all shut off we can't access them we only have access to a very very childish perception of survival which is very limited it doesn't have emotional or logical sophistication at all and if we don't go inwards to resolve our wounding that is to do with I don't feel like a solid safe source of love approval and/or security we don't go inwards to resolve that we're very likely well we will we'll look outwards there's nowhere else to go so how that usually turns out is we will complain will blame will shame we may choose self medication with things like food or alcohol or sex or facebooking or TV or whatever to try and shut off what we're feeling inside or we may need company and if we choose company if we're engaging with other people we may try to force people to take responsibility and fix our victimization for us or we may show up as being really short-tempered antsy moody accusatory even abusive and if we're unconscious we may be clueless to the fact that we're a generative source of our own experience and we may believe that these people are being rude or short or defensive or unreasonable with us so when we're stacking unconsciousness what happens is we repeat the same patterns over and over again and we're going to have the same wounds that resolve being triggered off by life events or our own insecurities that emanate up from within us and we're going to stay in trying to resolve it from the outside in instead of the inside out now the reason that I'm bringing all of this up in this video is to give you to start to give you a perception of what is going on for the narcissist because narcissists are deeply unconscious so let's go back to that definition of unconsciousness which is I don't know what I'm doing and I don't know why I'm doing it so if we go back to the original question of this video which is do narcissus know what they're doing on a superficial level absolutely they know what they they're doing narcissus know that they lie that they manipulate that they try to control their environment they know that they find out people's weaknesses and they use their weaknesses against them to render them helpless if they need to and the reason why narcissus do that they know that - because I have to do that for my own survival in a world where people can't be trusted so narcissus know what they do and why they do it from a superficial level but none of that is ever going to change their behavior it's never going to heal it it's never going to stop it it's never going to change the pattern and the reason is because they are clueless they are unconscious to the real and absolute reasons of what they're doing and why they're doing it I'm going to share them with you what they're doing is they are trying to control their outer environment so that they can get some inner relief that's what they're doing and they haven't realized that inner feelings of love approval and security can never ever come from trying to control your environment they can only come by resolving your inner identity with yourself that's it and why do they do it the answer why they do it is really obvious once you understand this the reason why they do it is because they have horrendous horrific inner traumas that have never been resolved that the narcissist purposefully divorce themselves from and they chose to completely ignore their true self to annihilation create a false self in its place to generate their life through and this false self because it's a false self never feels durable love approval or security it's a bottomless pit that can never be appeased and that is why narcissus do what they do because if their inner unresolved traumas that are never been healed that's why they do it so it doesn't matter how much control or force or manipulation or lies or strategies or tactics that are narcissists employees in order to try to feel safe it will only ever give a quick fix it will never resolve the inner lack of approval love and security and the narcissist will always have to up the ante keep chasing the tail do more and more and more and more and more of it and it's a bottomless pit it will never give a durable long-lasting result so that helps you understand completely and utterly that narcissus only on a surface level know what they're doing and why they're doing it and at a true level they are completely unconscious to it so one of the definitions one of the the beliefs that go with unconsciousness is somebody out there is doing this to me people who employ and adopt consciousness understand that there's nobody out there doing this to me there is only reflections back of my inner traumas that are generating this unconsciousness is I have to defeat the people that are doing this to me consciousness is I have to resolve and in to integrate my inner traumas that have been generating this so we can point our finger out and we can you know yell and scream from the rooftops that narcissists are wrong they're evil they maliciously and purposefully hurt people under this and there's that and the truth is we are adding to unconsciousness we are saying it's the outside that's the the simple understanding of unconsciousness it's the outside or we can add to consciousness we can stop doing that we can take responsibility for our own inner traumas that have been creating and generating our own unconsciousness and our own hookups and life experiences with other unconscious people namely narcissus and by raising our own consciousness we're not just doing that Pretzels personally we're also helping do that for collective so I hope that that's helped clear up for you do narcissus know what they're doing and you may want to listen to this a few times to really get it and the bottom line is we've really got to stop our focus on do they know what they're doing and we need to get our focus on our own consciousness that's the true healing for all of this so if you like my videos I would love you to like and share and comment and also too if you haven't as yet subscribe to my free resources which help up level your consciousness and your healing you can do that by clicking on the button that appears on this video and I would love you to join me in my next three keys to thriving after narcissistic abuse 3 our teleclass where I promise you that when you up level and you find these wounds you won't even care really whether or not they know what they're doing because it will just be so invested and so busy Midwife in your own shifting consciousness to wellness and generating a life that really works for you so that's it for me for this video and keep smiling and keep healing and keep thriving because there is nothing else to do lots of love for bye

Channel: Melanie Tonia Evans

Views: 82,450

Rating: 4.8867927 out of 5

Keywords: narcissists, hurt people, do narcissists care, awareness, lies, manipulation, gaslighting, abuse, they are hurting people, they are sick

Id: 5KfsdxMSy2Q

Length: 14min 46sec (886 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 30 2015